Application for Damien Thorn
Feb. 11th, 2006 06:23 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
damien-thorn.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The cheddar from Thorn Industries, of course! We use only the best soy in our food products.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I wouldn't kill anyone. However, it would be a terrible misfortune if my dog was to get loose in the vicinity of either of them. I believe he would go after Carrottop first.
3. What time is it where you are?
6:24, if you must know. I do not care for people who have to rely on others to know what is going on around them.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Harassment is so...crass. I prefer to think of it as enjoying darker forms of human desires. n Pleasure and pain are truly one in sex. Why would I deny this exquisite form of torture to any member of the Order?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Crown of Thorns.
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry should marry Fred and keep George as his lover. When he gets bored with the arrangement, he can swap them out.
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You keep putting paper on the desk, obviously.
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I am the CEO of a global corporation, an Ambassador, and the Antichrist. I can control animals and the weak minded with the strength of my will. The powers of Hell are at my command. I also throw fantastic parties.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I could offer you your deepest, darkest fantasies and perversions, but I see that has already been done. I strive to be unique, so instead I offer you forgiveness. Your sins are no longer marks on your soul, but instead are glorious praises to my Father. When I take over Heaven, Hell, and Earth, you shall be rewarded for your crimes. For what man's virtues outweigh his sins?
If THAT doesn't work, I ran across a Girl Scout troop this afternoon. You can have the Girl Scouts or the cookies, I don't care which.
If I may, I'd like to offer a few more items to my bribe. I have a small collection of knives, a few extremly rare artifacts, and several antique books on Biblical history.
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 08:07 am (UTC)I would not eat you, although I can't say the same for my dogs.Thank you for your vote.no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 08:13 am (UTC)Oh? I'm not sure how the Hat would view that.Um. You're welcome? I feel very, very unclean now. I need to go and find a church.no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 08:26 am (UTC)Excuse me, but you are the Antichrist. I sort of doubt that you're the person to trust in matters of religion.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 06:03 pm (UTC)I'll bear that in mind if I ever get a chance to see them.))
OH MY GODMark? I don't have the Mark on my forehead.no subject
Date: 2006-02-12 06:09 pm (UTC)VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:18 pm (UTC)Fuck fuck fuck!I don't believe you.It was stupid of me to compromise my faith because you might try to pull something. I'm not afraid of you, as it is: kill me, and then what? So what if I die (which I can't on school grounds, anyways) again? I really don't want to, but it'd be better than sitting around knowing I helped let you into here. You're pure evil, and I can't be responsible for inflicting you on ANY House. Squib. You actually deserve it.
Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:22 pm (UTC)Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:30 pm (UTC)Oh, God.I'm not going to bother running. I mean, I'm on school grounds, so all they can do is painfully maim me, and I can deal with pain. Running doesn't do anything.I'd love to see what the Hat thinks of you threatening me.
Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:34 pm (UTC)((Reposted because wheeeee, account screw-up))
Date: 2006-02-12 06:39 pm (UTC)Fear's just never been part of my personality.
Re: ((Reposted because wheeeee, account screw-up))
Date: 2006-02-12 06:41 pm (UTC)Re: ((Reposted because wheeeee, account screw-up))
Date: 2006-02-12 07:04 pm (UTC)Re: ((Reposted because wheeeee, account screw-up))
Date: 2006-02-12 07:08 pm (UTC)Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:37 pm (UTC)*calls off the hounds*
Besides, the poor things just need to run for a bit. They get so tired of being cooped up.
Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:43 pm (UTC)Why not let them loose in the Forest? I'm sure that they can wipe out the natural populations in no time.
Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 06:45 pm (UTC)Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 07:06 pm (UTC)How very nice of you to be concerned.
Re: VOTE CHANGE - SQUIB
Date: 2006-02-12 07:35 pm (UTC)