Theodore "Laurie" Laurence- "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott

[laurie-laurence.livejournal.com]

A boy with longish black hair, tan skin, big black eyes, and a handsome nose walks into the Sorting Room, smiling jovially. He’s holding a letter in one hand, and the reigns of a horse in the other.

 

He looks down at the letter, folds it and tucks it in his vest pocket. “Well, Jo- this is much better than college after all!”

 

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Asiago d'Allevo. It’s an Italian cheese and I used to have it all the time before I went to Vevay, in France, for school. Grandfather doesn’t like it though- he never does like anything Italian.


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Haven’t heard of either, but I don’t think I’d want to kill them even if I did met them. Mrs. March would ban me from ever coming over again, and it’d give grandfather a heart attack. Mr. Brooke- he’s my tutor- would blame himself, and I cause enough trouble for him as it is.

3. What time is it where you are?
Four in the afternoon.


4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
….. Right. Jo forgot to mention this in her letter. I don’t know any of these people. Is this some sort of secret club like the March girls’ Pickwick newspaper? I don’t know who’s in the club though, so I can’t say. Besides that- hang on, sexually harass? That’s not- oh! That’s what Mr. Brooke was talking about when-! *several crossed out lines and an inkblot*

 

Now my grandfather would really have a heart attack. First Jo thinks I’m going to fall into bad company because I play billiards with the gents and now people expect me to sexually harass others? I’m a gentleman- I would never do that, even if Jo wasn’t there to fling couch cushions at me!

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Jo’s much better with words than I am. Hm… The Grand Piano or Camp Laurence. I’d play piano there and bartend and everyone would have larks all the time.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He should marry where he likes, even if his father disapproves. My father married my mother out of love even though my grandfather disowned him, and I don’t see why anyone shouldn’t get the chance to do otherwise. Meg- that’s my neighbor, Margaret March- is going to marry Mr. Brooke because they love each other. They’re like two turtledoves now, and they never would have done anything about it if I hadn’t been there.


C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You’re ‘dwaddling’. I do the same thing some times, since I’m such a lazy fellow and I’d rather be playing the piano or having adventures than working on sums. You have to ‘bear your burdens’ though and buckle down to work at it.


D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I can play the piano and sing- Beth’s a lot better, but I do work at it. I’ve been tolots of places, so I can speak French, Italian, and German. I am a lazy fellow, but I’m getting better at working and I always do well at my lessons. I can ride and fence and sail and all that, and I’m good at cricket and croquet. 


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

It’s a good thing Mrs. March isn’t going to see this- she’d refuse to speak with me ever again. I can always send home for flowers, if you like, and I could play piano or sing for you. I’ve got all sorts of books in the saddlebags, and there’s clothes there too if you want them. I probably have money, but grandfather said that it was supposed to last me the year and I was supposed to learn to manage it, so I’d rather keep that.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____TL_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____TL______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______TL_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____TL_________"

((ooc; I have permission from Jo-mun to app Laurie.))

Comments

[ian-ma1co1m.livejournal.com]

I'd ask what the circumstances were, but, well, this being Hogwarts, I suspect I'll probably sleep better at night if I don't know. *laughs*

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

Chance laughs too. "Well. Let's say I hope I never play spin the bottle with an octopus again."

[ian-ma1co1m.livejournal.com]

Ohh. Those circumstances. Now, I ended up kissing a lady zombie on the cheek at that party, but since she turned out to be a perfectly pleasant conversationalist, I'd say your encounter gets the award for sheer strangeness.

...Do octopi have lips, even?

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

"He had ... something like a human mouth. I closed my eyes and tried not to think too hard about it," Chance admits. "What's with zombies and Hogwarts these days? I just had a long conversation with a guy being Sorted who's got a zombie friend living in his shed."

[ian-ma1co1m.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I don't think I've met that one. Are we talking an intelligent, sentient zombie like Ms. Stark, or are we talking an extensive vocabulary of "braaaaainnnnnnssss!"? And if it's the latter, why on earth would you keep one as a companion?

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

"I got the impression it was the brain-hungry variety," says Chance. "And I spent a while trying to figure that out -- why the guy would keep a zombie. Turns out they'd been childhood friends. He admits there's not much left of his friend in the zombie version, but he can't stand the idea of killing him, so he keeps him chained up and feeds him raw hamburger. And lets him play video games." She shakes her head in bemusement.

[ian-ma1co1m.livejournal.com]

Really? I mean, most childhood friends eventually move on to other phases of their lives and leave childish things behind them, and it certainly sounds like that applies to our shed-bound friend there... *frowns* Is this guy, uh, stable? Even by Hogwarts standards?

[chance-silvey.livejournal.com]

"Hogwarts standards? That covers quite a range," says Chance, then frowns. "Look, maybe we better go somewhere quieter. This kid doesn't need to hear all this just yet," canting her head in the direction of Laurie, who's blithely going on about the March sisters and their habits.