[identity profile] nemofound.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror

*An aquarium - a nice big one with plastic scenery and an automatic filtering system - suddenly appears in the sorting room. A small orange and white fish swims to the side of the tank nearest the Sorting Hat. His left fin waves enthusiastically, while his smaller right fin wiggles in a faint mimic of the left.*

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

What's cheese? Is it a kind of seaweed? I think that's the stuff the dentist used to eat on his sandwiches - the yellow stuff. No, it doesn't look much like seaweed. I like to eat plankton. And the leftovers after when the am-a-a-anem-no-ne I live in finishes eating. (When I'm not visiting here, I live in an an-am-enno-me. With my dad.)

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Barney's a dinosaur, right? That's like a sea turtle, isn't it? Sea turtles are my friends! From the EAC! I'm not gonna kill someone who’s like them! And Carrottop is orange. Like me. That wouldn't be nice either, to kill him.

3. What time is it where you are?

Time for SCHOOL! It's time for SCHOOL!

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Um ... I don't understand the question. Is this a grown-up question? I'm just a little fish still! … I could ask my dad about it, I guess.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

I don't know what a bar is, but if it's dark, it's probably scary, right? And the scariest name I know is Wanna-hocka-loogi. So that's what I'd call it. But … I’d really rather not end up somewhere scary.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

I dunno … my dad told me that when fish get married, one of the fish getting married is a girl, so she can lay eggs and be the mommy. But, I don’t have a mommy, ‘cuz she died. But Gill was kind of like another dad for me, even though he never met my real dad. So I guess if Harry’s kids’ mommy died, he might want them to have another dad instead, if they couldn’t have a mommy. So Harry should pick whichever one would make the best other dad. Because kids need dads, to teach them how to be strong an’ brave an’ how not to be scared.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

What’s paperwork? Is that the fluttery stuff the dentist had in the files he’d pull out for the patients? He had it all in special files with the patients’ names on them. Maybe if you did that, it would work better.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Oh, I’m not useless! I was the only one small enough to get into the filter and toss a pebble into it so the tank would get dirty and I could help my friends escape. And I did it! I was scared, REALLY scared, especially when I thought the filter was going to swallow me up, but I did it! And then, when the other fish got caught in the big net, I did what my friends in the tank taught me! I got everybody to swim down, and we did, and we all got free. And I did it! I knew I could do it! Even though I have a little fin! My dad always tells me that I’m really special and he loves me!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

You could come to school with me! Mr. Ray is our teacher and he’s REALLY nice. Maybe you could come on our field trip to the EAC to meet the sea turtles! And then, once we got home, my dad would tell you stories – he has the best stories, all about how he got past these huge sharks and a giant monster and a whole bay full of jellyfish, all to bring me home!

Date: 2006-02-09 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] waste-lock.livejournal.com
...anyone got any malt vinegar?

Date: 2006-02-09 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catremistrae.livejournal.com
I think you'd make a very nice pet for someone, but I'm not sure who. Give me a minute to think about it.

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Date: 2006-02-09 05:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kurse-all-seeds.livejournal.com
Remember, he is but a child. We must not leave him to the wolves, so to speak.

Date: 2006-02-09 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catremistrae.livejournal.com
I don't think the wolves here are going to have much interest in him.

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Date: 2006-02-09 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuck-weasley.livejournal.com
Oi! Give th' kid a break. 'e has potential, even if 'es jus' a wee fishy.

I say Gryffindor. 've got a place in m' room that'd be jus' right for 'is tank.
*beams at Nemo*

Date: 2006-02-09 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catremistrae.livejournal.com
Would you get him to his classes? I'd hate to see somehting happen to him.

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Date: 2006-02-09 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] persofanservice.livejournal.com
(Looking into the bowl) Chii has never seen a talking fish... Is Nemo a familiar? Or is he an animagus who likes being a fishy?

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Date: 2006-02-09 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catremistrae.livejournal.com
Gryffindor. And if any of you try to eat him *looks around* you're going to have to deal with me.

Date: 2006-02-09 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alucard-tepes.livejournal.com
Well you would make a useful underwater familiar...

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Date: 2006-02-09 09:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] don-voldie.livejournal.com
I vote Dinner

Gonna get you little fishie...

Date: 2006-02-09 10:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catremistrae.livejournal.com
Leave the fish alone. He's not even bite-sized.

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From: [identity profile] don-voldie.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 05:21 am (UTC) - Expand

Vote - Gryffindor

From: [identity profile] don-voldie.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 05:39 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-02-09 11:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icchan-nyoroyo.livejournal.com
Gryffindor. Charlie will take good care of you, tiny... talking... fish. Odd, my pet carp Ai never ever spoke, no matter how many times I faked drowning in her pond.

Gryffindor

Date: 2006-02-10 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vivalanaomi.livejournal.com
What a pretty little thing you are!

Considering that you fought your way through a filter despite how scared you were, and are currently attempting to attend Hogwarts in a rather precarious position, I would say that you are quite the Gryffindor. And it seems you are making such friends there, anyways!

Now we just have to hire some servant boy to push you around. I'd be willing to start a donation for the cause, we must be generous for those less fortunate than we.

Date: 2006-02-10 04:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjaoftheramen.livejournal.com
Aside from you being a fish and myself being a Ninja, I think we're very much alike. In the energetic sense of things...

Gryffindor!

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Date: 2006-02-10 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blizardridar.livejournal.com
Image (http://photobucket.com)

It's for your own safety... fish... *slightly discombobulated look*

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Date: 2006-02-10 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teatimeassassin.livejournal.com
Oh dear. I have enjoyed eating the occasional fish over the years. I do hope you won't hold that against me.

Gryffindor, my little fishy friend.

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From: [identity profile] teatimeassassin.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 11:13 pm (UTC) - Expand

GRYFFINDOR.

Date: 2006-02-10 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spiritoferos.livejournal.com
Aren't you just a cute little thing? Uncle Poseidon must love you.

*taps side of aquarium gently* Gryffindor, little Nemo.

Re: GRYFFINDOR.

From: [identity profile] spiritoferos.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 06:44 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: GRYFFINDOR.

From: [identity profile] spiritoferos.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: GRYFFINDOR.

From: [identity profile] spiritoferos.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 08:42 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: GRYFFINDOR.

From: [identity profile] spiritoferos.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-10 10:24 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-02-10 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vividtonks.livejournal.com
Hi Nemo. You sound very brave to me, you must be a Gryffindor. Besides, it sounds like you've already made some friends in that house. Good luck kid!

Date: 2006-02-10 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dice-addict.livejournal.com
*totally allergic to fish*

...

Gryffindor, and can you do me the favor of staying away from the kitchen or the Great Hall during meal time?

*smiles to show it's nothing personal*

Date: 2006-02-10 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
You certainly get around, don't you?

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Date: 2006-02-11 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] squeegeetodd.livejournal.com
Are you gonna get robot arms attached to your tank or something so you can write and use a wand?

You've already got Charlie and some other people looking out for you, and you seem really brave, so Gryffindor.

Gryffindor

Date: 2006-02-11 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puppydog-eyes.livejournal.com
Gryffindor, since people have already voted you there, and I'm not sure where to place you.

You don't need to bribe me, though. You seem like fun, even if you are in a tank. Can we be friends anyway? *smiles cheerfully*

Re: Gryffindor

From: [identity profile] puppydog-eyes.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-11 07:53 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: Gryffindor

From: [identity profile] puppydog-eyes.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-02-11 08:19 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-02-11 07:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-john-watson.livejournal.com
I suppose if there are demons and gods and sentient suitcases, this school must have a good place for a fish capable of speech...

Gryffindor.

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Date: 2006-02-12 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
Well little Fishie! I believe this is as close as we've ever come to a unanimous Gryffindor vote. And you are an adventurous and brave little fish.

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!

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