Honey badger to Lily

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

I took the liberty, as per your request, of getting a few medical books sent in, starting with the basic foundation of Muggle medicine. The one with the rather cartoonish picture of red blood cells is about the chemical processes of the human body. The second is genetic diseases - you'll be able to pick out which ones you know Wizards don't get.

And yes, for human anatomy, I did get you The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy. It's hilarious, and helpful!


House.


(A note stuck on the cover of The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy.)

Go to pg. 16.

Clearly, House couldn't resist being immature, as page 16 is indeed a pop-up paper penis.

Comments

Mick returns, note heavily warded and charmed to fold to a paper penis for anyone else

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

House ~

Thanks for the books, love. They're actually quite helpful - and there are pictures! This will move along my research enormously.

I'm still working on the time-release potion, but I did manage to make one that, in all the trials (see: me hitting my thumb real hard with something heavy and then taking the potion) gradually ebbed the pain down. It doesn't last as long - only a few hours - but it's something.

I'll keep trying.

~ Lily

P.S. I've actually seen two of those before, in person, but thanks for the recommendation. Although, I must admit, I think they scaled it down for the book...

P.P.S. Hey, you...wouldn't happen to know of any instances in Muggle medicine where someone became...impervious to long-term physical harm, would you? Hypothetically?

Mick is sent back, note charmed simply to turn invisible for prying eyes

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

It's no emergency. I only suggested it to see if it was actually possible, though the end result, I'm sure, will be helpful. Good work.

As for your P.P.S, ask Dr. Robert A. Freitas Jr. He's developed an idea called a 'vasculoid', a vascular-like machine, that replaces the blood with near to 500 trillian nanobots. He thinks it would reduce vascular problems (heart disease, stroke), kill of bacteria and viruses, improve stamina and endurance, and partially protect from physical harm. Read: not completely impervious, but if he created the technology and improved on it I'm sure it would happen. And that's only the very basics of how it works. I've been following his articles.

Why? Who's the superman that's turned up in the Hospital Wing?


House.

Mick returns, note heavily warded, charmed to turn anyone else's eyes into marshmallows for an hour

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

House ~

I hate not knowing how to do something. Therefore, it will drive me barmy until I figure it out. Call it a character flaw.

He can't die

I think this might be biological

It's beyond me

Hey, hypothetical for a reason, Skippy. Just...wondering. Thanks.

~ Lily

Mick returns with a note, warded so that the ink will slide off the page for anybody else.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

Nothing is hypothetical. With all the weirdos around here, I wouldn't be surprised if you did come across someone who's invincible. In that case, what the hell are they doing in the Hospital Wing?


House.

Mick returns, note heavily warded, charmed to burst into flame for anyone else

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

House ~

Lots of things are hypothetical. Your chances of shagging a Dallas Cheerleader, Santa Claus bringing me the pony I always wanted, Americans ever forming an appropriate appreciation for tea... Loads of stuff.

That being said, HYPOTHETICALLY, what would you say of someone who recently - post death experience - acquired the ability to shake off major injuries? I'm not talking paper cuts that really smart; think more of the 'gunshot to the head' type. And it's nothing to do with magic - the...er, symptoms, for lack of a better term, started before they arrived at Hogwarts.

And who said anything about the Hospital Wing?

~ Lily

Return note, this time Mick himself is outfitted with a spiked collar and looks mean enough.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

Hey, I like tea. I just don't like the floaties.

You're being too specific for the whole hypothetical thing. In the case of shaking off gunshot wounds to the head, well, people can recover from all sorts of nasty objects being impaled through their frontal lobe, but shaking it off is a different matter. It would depend on how good their technology is, because no Muggle in our day and age would be able to do that. Good old Dr. Freitas Jr.'s theory would explain that, if the same technology has been developed elsewhere.

Ask them how it feels when they're electrocuted. If the answer's odd, then that theory stands a good chance.

If you need or want a consult, I know of a bored Diagnostician that doesn't have anything to do.


House.

Mick returns, note heavily warded and charmed to turn into a spiked collar for anyone else

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

House ~

I'm a very specific person.

Electrocution would, hypothetically, cause them enormous pain. Stabbing as well - they would, in theory, actually feel the blade enter and then leave their body, would feel enormous pain for a few moments and then... Nothing.

If this case ever occurred, I'd get blood samples, which magical tests probably wouldn't work on. But if this did ever occur, I know another Diagnostician who would be six-odd feet of musclebound rage if I didn't let him in on it. And I couldn't, not if I didn't know for sure that this wasn't another 'Flying Spaghetti Monster'-type oddity of Hogwarts.

The technology angle is a good one. I'll look into that.

Hypothetically.

Don't you have small children to bother?

~ Lily

Mick is sent back with a note charmed to spurt fake blood if opened by the wrong person.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

The extreme pain in both of those makes sense, if the theory I'm thinking of plays a part. Just don't let them go near huge magnets.

If you do end up doing this hypothetical blood sample; test for raised oxygen levels, metals, and diamond. I'm sure there's some sort of spell that can identify diamond.

I tried to bother smaller children, but I was too occupied and kept chanting "I know something you don't know," at them, and now I'm banned from the playground.


House.

Mick returns, note heavily warded, charmed to give anyone but House dragonpox

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

House ~

Oi! You can't have theories on my hypothetical case. That's just rude. At least, it's rude to not share them.

...If, perhaps, you came by the Ravenclaw lab, I'd hypothetically be doing the suggested tests. And looking for a charm to identify diamond. And not at all baffled by what the sodding hell you're talking about.

Ah, see, that's your problem. Next time try the 'I repeat everything you say' game. It's a classic.

~ Lily

P.S. And don't look so smug. You knew I'd cave. Like I have any idea what in Merlin's name I'm doing.

Mick returns, with a note charmed to exude phelgm for anybody else

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Lily,

I can't help having theories, your hypothetical case just sounds too interesting.

On my way. Give me a few minutes longer than the average, healthy person.


House.

((Rethreading for House showing up and being insufferable!))

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

When House eventually turns up to the Ravenclaw labs he is, of course, looking smug. In the same hand that's clutching his cane, there's also a medical journal.

"So, found that test for diamond yet?" He asked by way of a normal greeting.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Not even looking up, head bent over a page of scrawled figures and brow furrowed in concentration, Lily tossed over the chart she'd made up for Jack (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1011495.html?thread=50510375#t50510375). It was, of course, lacking any name or identifying markers - as all good hypothetical charts would. An Aritmancy book was open next to her, as well as a book on Wizard treasure hunting. Biting her lip as she struggled with a complex formula, the only sound for a moment was the scratch of quill on parchment.

Two vials of blood sat in a rack on the table in front of her. Stacks of notes, several large books, and the general air of 'settled in' were pretty good indicators that she'd been working on this for a while. That and the faint circles under her eyes. Finally, with a sigh of relief, she put her quill down and absently rubbed her face with her hands before turning to House. "Yeah, just," she replied. "Took some doing, but I think I've got the right formula. Going to test it first, though."

'Testing', of course, meant on herself, and Lily proceeded to quickly draw a small sample of her own blood. As she set the vial down and gathered the ingredients she'd need for the test she glanced over to House. "What's your theory, then? Why am I looking for diamonds? Are we thinking he's half dragon? Or just really picky about what he eats?"

((House-insufferability makes my day.))

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Catching the chart with his left hand, House set it down on the lab counter and flipped through it. "Shot in the head, electrocuted twice, stabbed in the heart," he summarized aloud, "Amplified pain coupled with coughing, which vanished completely after a few minutes. But he bleeds." He tapped the chart thoughtfully against the counter.

Looking over at Lily, House suppressed a smile as he took in her tired appearance and cluttered surroundings; the look of all dedicated lab-techs. "Diamonds are one of three indicators that this might be what I think it is. Actually, there's a chance it'll be the only variable. If the test comes up negative, then there's still two others that might confirm this."

He opened the medical journal and scanned through the pages briefly, the title Pathways; Novartis Journal clear on the cover, as well as the title of the featured article, Robots in the bloodstream: the promise of Nanomedicine by Dr. Robert Freitas.

"Doctor Freitas, a man who boasts a more ridiculous mustache than most other doctors, has a theory which fits. He hasn't put it into practice yet, but it does describe what's happening to this patient." House tucked the journal back under his arm, took one of the vials of blood drawn from the patient, and sniffed it. "Mmm, metallic. More so than usual," he quirked his eyebrows at Lily. "Could be a clue."

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Pulling some roots off of a bundle of dandelions and adding them to the other things she'd already put in her mortar, Lily began to grind her ingredients together while House spoke. She laughed and replied wryly, "Or it could be he has too much iron in his diet. Didn't know you were part bloodhound, though."

Getting the paste to the right consistency, Lily then spooned a small amount into a shallow dish. A few drops of her blood followed and then, with one last glance at her calculations, Lily muttered a spell, her wand making precise motions and tapping lightly on the edge of the dish. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, with a fizz and a spark, the contents caught fire. Lily didn't blink, only waited patently for the brief blaze to die out before she peered into the dish. Ashes. A slow, smug grin worked its way across her face. "Well, I am officially sans diamonds." Oh, the overwhelming high of being right.

Vanishing the ashes, she spread some more paste and added a few drops of Jack's blood. The spell was repeated, the fire bloomed and...

More ash. Shoulders slumping slightly in disappointment, Lily sat back down and closed her eyes briefly before turning to House. "All right. We're obviously not cashing in and moving to Bermuda anytime soon. So, what are these other tests?"

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Tapping his cane against the floor in thought, House remained silent for a few moments. He'd suspected the diamond test would probably come back negative, but there were a few more things that could be done to confirm the diagnosis. Of course, he truly had no idea if he'd be right or not - he was basing the conclusion of this off of something that hadn't even been tested in modern times. Freitas' theory explained the resistance to physical harm, but the mere presence of blood from the patient proved Freitas wrong, or least rendered his idea incomplete. Still, for the most part, the theory worked.

"Body temperature wouldn't be affected, no visible signs except for fast healing," he mused. "There are four other tests. Good thing you've drawn enough blood from the patient," House set the vial of blood back down. "The first two I mentioned before - raised oxygen levels and metals. The other two, I just thought of them now, would be a test for glucose and a good old microscope. Got anything that would make objects a billionth of a meter visible?"

He lifted himself up to sit on the lab counter, grinning almost gleefully and swinging his legs, looking a little like a kid at Christmas. Once House got a medical idea in his head - especially if it could prove someone wrong - he'd worry at it like a dog with a bone and never let go.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Blinking, Lily's face slid slowly into a grin. "Now, that," she said, "I know how to do. A magnifying charm. Your choice - on you or on an object you look through. A billionth of a meter?" Just a small change in the incantation, allowing for something that precise, but nothing she couldn't handle.

Summoning over one of the slides from the Muggle microscope that stood, rather dusty, on another nearby lab table, Lily prepared a sample of the blood. Then she turned to House, wand out, and raised one eyebrow in silent question.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"I don't want the magnifying charm on me," House sounded horrified as he jumped off the table, hopped a few times on his good leg and hobbled over to the other table, "You'll see my pores."

He blew the dust off the microscope, a little surprised they actually had one (even if it was not quite as good as the ones he was used to), and grimaced at the cloud of debris. "Just a charm on the microscope would be good."

((Clearly I'm flying blind as I have no idea if House is actually right about Jack's condition =P - if there are nanobots they'd look like tiny little grey balls.))

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

"Not on you," Lily rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "I'd put it on your eyes. We used it in the war to spy, but it's easy enough to modify. What, House? You don't want super eyesight? We could get you a cape as well."

Obediently moving over to the microscope, Lily simply tapped each eyepiece three times and silently cast the charm. Then she put the slide in and peered through, occasionally tapping the side of the microscope with her wand to adjust. Finally getting everything into focus, she peered at the blood for a moment, fascinated. Pictures in books had nothing on the real thing. Completely forgetting that she was supposed to be looking for something, she simply watched, amazed. "That is so bloody cool."

Then, bringing herself back to the task at hand, Lily blinked and looked again. Mentally paging through all the descriptions she'd read of what normal red blood cells looked like, what a healthy blood sample should contain, she...couldn't see anything unusual. Huh. Pulling back she looked up at House and shrugged before getting up to let him have a go.

((Sorry this took forever! I needed to check with Jack-mun to see where she wanted to go with this. At this point, she thinks that it should all just remain a mystery, as canon isn't clear what is doing this to him and she's not sure if she wants a HH-based solution or what that would be. So, for now, our dynamic duo shall remain stumped! :p))

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"But I don't like wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants," House shook his head in amusement, "There's a place for everything and that just defies the law of nature."

After Lily finished, he leaned in to the microscope and had a look. "Red blood cells look fine," he muttered, "Average amount of leukocytes. Did this patient happen to mention if their little invincibility thing extended to sickness?" House asked Lily, not taking his eyes off his evaluation of the blood sample. "Platelets good, nothing to do with clotting. pH is probably nothing out of the ordinary. Oxygenation is fine. But most importantly, a distinct lack of any sort of nanomedicine."

Straightening up, House very carefully masked his irritation and narrowed his eyes in thought. If it wasn't blood, the only thing left was genetics. Which should be impossible, but something in the skin or bone wouldn't account for the effects. House didn't like being stumped. Neither did he like being frustrated; vicodin would take the edge off that. Popping the cap off the bottle and tipping one into his mouth, he turned back to Lily after crunching on it like a lolly. "How's the patients magic?" He asked, "Doing anything unusual?"

((No worries; figured there needed to be confirmation of any and all findings =) Good god, there's going to be an unfinished puzzle House can't solve? *facepalm* He's going to go nuts XD))