Matthew (Fire Emblem, the Blazing Sword)

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Matthew enters the room stealthily, more out of habit than anything else. He looks startled when the questions begin, but relaxes and answers.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
There's this sort of goat cheese we've got back in Ostia, it comes wrapped in parchment so that you can carry it around and it doesn't go bad - both parts are handy in my line of work.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Carrottop? *The red-haired thief glares.* Are you insinuating something. I think I'll go with Barney - it's a thing like a dragon, right?

3. What time is it where you are?
Umm... before noon, after sunrise?

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Hey, I don't do that. Strictly information and object retrieval. Maybe assassination, but not often.

Still... there's something about the red-haired girl...

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The bar hasn't got a name. You just know where it is. If you don't, you shouldn't be there anyway.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Alright... there were eight heroes in the Scouring, right? That's an even number, so the answer is Fred.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Paperwork? One reason I'm never moving up ranks in the government - the lords and so on are drowning in the stuff. Although Lord Hector seems to be able to just go off wherever without having to worry about it...

Anyway, this is clearly a plot by a rival leader to drive you insane by having spies constantly add more paperwork to your desk. Or maybe you just keep forgetting to send the paperwork off. Either way.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Well, I don't like to brag, but I am the number-one thief and spy in Ostia. And I helped save the world from a mad wizard who tried to summon dragons back into the world.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Lessee... got plenty of gold and gems and such, a few spare keys - don't know what they go to, but you never know - some extra lockpicks... or, of course, I could simply offer my services as a master of theft and espionage (whether that means I'm stealing from and spying on you, or stealing and spying for you, is your decision).

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. M
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. M
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. M
One day, marmalade will rule the world. M

Comments

[lionesscersei.livejournal.com]

If you are the most accomplished thief and spy in your country, what does it serve to make all and sundry aware of your occupation?

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Because I'm not here on official business, and if you can tell I'm there, either you're far too perceptive for your own good or I'm not there professionally.

[lionesscersei.livejournal.com]

Of what use is your bribe to us, then?

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Hi. *waves* Could I get some gems? Say, eight or ten or so? Doesn't matter what kind, just so they'll absorb a magical spell and not repel it.

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

*Matthew is rather startled by this request.* Um, sure. Not sure they usually absorb magic, but I've never tried to use them to do so, so I can't say for sure that they don't.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

If they're your usual, everyday sort of gems used in jewelry and such, they should be fine. It's the really unusual stuff that tends to have magical properties, is what I read.

Now, as to a vote. Your bar name? That was a thing of beauty, seriously. Which makes me think Slytherin. Then again? There's the whole world-saving thing, which definitely sounds like Gryffindor. Which would you say suits you better?

[pollicle-zapper.livejournal.com]

Hm, this applicant seemed promising. Mistoffelees approached him with a grin.

"Gold and gems? That sounds pretty decent to me, mate. Got anything that would be fitting as a gift for a young lady?"

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

I believe I may have a few select pieces that might make a suitable gift. What did you have in mind?

Name's Matthew. And you would be?

[pollicle-zapper.livejournal.com]

He shrugged. "Oh, you know, a necklace, or a bracelet, something nice and shiny... Got anything with pearls? This particular lady has a thing for pearls."

Mistoffelees extended a hand. "I'm Mistoffelees. If you call me Misto, I won't be happy, just a heads up."

[redballerina.livejournal.com]

Bombalurina sauntered into the Sorting Room, hips swaying, and looked Matthew up and down. She smiled slowly. Bombalurina had a thing for redheads. Redheaded thieves were even better.

"Hello," she purred. "So many lovely bribes. Absolutely impossible for me to choose just one..."

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Funny, I know a guy who feels the exact same way about girlfriends - except that he's incapable of even getting one girlfriend in the first place, so it's really a moot point. *Matthew grins and makes a "tsk" noise.* And him a knight, too. Shameful, really.

Name's Matthew. And you are?

[redballerina.livejournal.com]

"Bombalurina, darling." She gave him a flirty smile. "But you can call me Bomba, if you like. Most people do. It is very nice to meet you, Matthew. So why are you at Hogwarts, not that I mind?"

Bombalurina sat down, crossing her long legs in front of her. "Oh, when the world is full of options, why settle for one..." She tapped a finger against her bottom lip. "Too bad for your friend."

[fw-darcy.livejournal.com]

You are offering gold, sir? In jewellery, or in coin? Is it likely that this gold shall require proof of its provenance, should I attempt its spending?

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Primarily in coin, but there are a few select items of jewelry. I doubt you'll need to prove where it came from - although if you're going to use it as money, you'll probably have to exchange it for whatever's usually used here; I doubt anyone around here would accept coins minted in Illia.

[fw-darcy.livejournal.com]

Coin should be quite adequate, sir. I understand there is a wizarding bank in Town that exchanges most anything in a precious metal.

Having been brought here unawares, I am in greatly straitened circumstances. A bribe in gold coin will do nicely. Is Slytherin suitable for my end of the bargain, sir?

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

Pray tell me about your occupation.

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Well, I serve the Marquess of Ostia as a spy, thief, and occasional babysitter (although not really anymore, since the guy I was guarding is the Marquess now)>

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

What particulars of your work distinguish it from that of, say, a bodyguard? You have mentioned the retrieval of information; by what means do you accomplish this?

[fm-elric.livejournal.com]

Ed, who was perpetually broke these days, was eager to glean what riches he could from new applicants.

"Okay, I'll take the whatever gold you can spare for my vote."

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Alright, here you go. *Matthew hands over a bag of gold pieces.*

I'm Matthew. And you are?

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

You are honestly a thief? *amused* Might you have any jewelry you are willing to part with, then?

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

Yes; I am, however, an officially sanctioned thief - so long as I don't steal from friends.

I may have a few items available... did you have anything in mind?

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Oho! More jewelry. Do you have any gems that would look good on my brim?

[ostianespionage.livejournal.com]

*A talking hat? This was getting really strange. Still, Matthew noticed an air of authority about the hat, so he decided to procede very cautiously.*

Did you have anything in particular in mind?

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

You have excellent taste in jewelry! Should the espionage not work out, you could always become a fashion consultant!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Slytherin!