Application: Sansa Stark, A Song of Ice and Fire

[castleinthesnow.livejournal.com]

A beautiful girl dressed in a modest medieval gown appears in the Sorting Room. She looks around briefly, clearly surprised and disoriented, then takes a seat to fill out an application, carefully minding her sleeves so they don't get smudged with ink.


1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
White cheese? I didn't know they had names. I suppose I like white cheese because... blue and green smell horrible.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Those are strange names, who are they? I wouldn't... Why should I kill either one? They're nothing to me.

3. What time is it where you are?
Just after breakfast, midmorning. I was going to the sept. Lord Robert hates it and won't go there, which gives me some peace. I don't know where I am though.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Who? What? I'm married. Or betrothed, I suppose, whichever pleases you better.


5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bastard girl I might be for now, but barmaid I am not. Not yet. Still, I have poured wine during my father's Petyr's Lord Baelish's meetings with the other Lords of the Vale, in the Eyrie and at the Gates of the Moon. Will either of those names do?

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry? Do you mean Harrold Hardyng? I don't know this Fred or George and Harrold Hardyng is by way of being betrothed to me, I'm told... neither one is a Royce? If one was, that would tie the... please, why are you asking me? I don't know these things.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I have no head for paperwork, none at all, truly. You should talk to your steward.

...is there a fireplace near your desk?

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I can sing, play the high harp, and sew very well. I know my letters and all my heraldry. Oh, and with the rest of my family dead (except for Jon Snow who doesn't count), I'm the heir to Winterfell and the North. Not that that means anything really anymore.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I don't have a lot with me, but I suppose I'm willing to offer whatever I have. I'll sew, I'll play. I've got several stories about the Winged Knight memorized. I have gotten really much better at running a castle and managing things. And I suppose it's lucky I decided to wear some jewelry today.

I won't offer to sing, though, unless I have to. I have had my fill of songs.

Comments

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

Back in YOUR cage, little man. The Starks are my responsibility, and I'll decide when there's an issue of impropriety.

Unless you feel like losing limbs?

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*snorts* There is no earthly way that man could put either of them in a cage while I draw breath, even were he armed, which you may note he is not.

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

No, he's unarmed, and I'm one-handed. A fair fight, I'd say.

And he was being a complete fucking idiot, so it's back in the box for him.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

He could be armed with Valyrian steel in each hand and still be no match for you as you are. He is unworthy.

What, have you not had enough of sparring?

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

No. I feel the need for you to beat me around the head until I'm unconcious again.


Unless you've got something more appealing in mind

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*inscrutable*

What could be more appealing?

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

*sly grin*

Come with me, wench. I'll be quite happy to show you. I'll even organise a bath before hand.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*blushes deeply, a response automatically triggered by mentions of 'bath'*

*belatedly, realises that he didn't only mention a bath, but a bath before something*

*is sure he must be mocking her, and blushes all the more*

If you mean to provoke me to violence, you won't get that satisfaction.

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

It's not violence I intend to provoke, Brienne.

*Funny how he can make that sound like more of an insult than "Wench"*

And it seems I've at least provoked some thought of what might occur, judging by the flush of your cheeks.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*oh, this is cruel, and she falters, her eyes downcast --*

*but she is armed, and guarding Sansa Stark, and must not show weakness; she forces herself to meet his eyes, despite all the mockery she thinks she sees in that look*

What did you call me?

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

*raises an eyebrow, mockingly*

Have you gone suddenly deaf, wench?

Or should I just repeat myself slowly so you can understand?

Its. Not. Violence. I. Intend. To. Provoke. Brienne.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*defiantly* I am far from deaf, Ser Jaime. Nor have I lost my powers of vision. I can well see you mean nothing of what you say, and it is all to mock me. You may think me dull, but I am at least wise enough to know this.

*but love is blind, no matter what she says*

*Warded for Brienne and Jaime only*

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

You seem insistent upon the fact that I mock you, wench. Is that what you really want? For I will oblige most heartily if it is.

*there's a warning edge to his voice, slightly strained*

Re: *Warded for Brienne and Jaime only*

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*suspicious*

Why did you cause us to be inaudible to others? I know that charm by sight, even if I cannot yet perform it myself.

*Warded for Brienne and Jaime only*

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

"I have my own reasons, wench. If you can't figure them out, that's not my problem."

Well, it is his problem, but only because it makes things harder for him.

Why can't she be easy, like Cersei. Alright, maybe not THAT easy, but y'know.

*Warded for Brienne and Jaime only*

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*dully* I almost like it better when you call me that.

*somewhere in the back of her mind, knows she will be made to regret this admission*