Application for Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire)

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

I've had many a fine cheese at King Renly's table, but truth be told, I'd not scorn any wholesome food these days. A simple country cheese, given freely or bought honestly, would please me most.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

I would kill whichever one posed a danger to the Stark children or to Jaime Lannister.

3. What time is it where you are?

It is midday. There are still ample hours of daylight left for traveling, should I be turned away from this castle.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Harassment of any kind is wrong and shameful. Has the Order of the Phoenix no honor?

Or ... is this a matter having to do with Albus Dumbledore returning from the dead? Those who have been dead, yet live, do not always listen to reason. I cannot say what I would do, were I a man resurrected by the Red Priest, except that such a man I think would care more for vengeance than for honor. So, as undead resurrected Albus Dumbledore, I might seek to harass the one whom I hated most in life, or who had wronged me and mine.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Are you mocking me? Must I answer?

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Marriage does not suit everyone. Harry might choose to swear himself to the service of a worthy lord or king, rather than wed. If he must choose between Fred or George, he should choose whichever of the two has more honor, or else, the one who has saved his life.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Now I know you must be mocking me. My muscles do not mean I am not as lettered as any other woman of my station.

You need a good maester and a good steward, and between them they will keep your chancery in order, or your desk, if you truly need assistance for one desk's worth of documents.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

This ... would be difficult for me to argue, I confess it. I swore an oath to protect King Renly's life, and he died in my arms, shadow-slain. I swore an oath to bring Jaime safely to King's Landing, and I could not stop the Bloody Mummers from taking his hand. I have the blade Oathkeeper now, and I have more than one oath yet to keep.

I can only say I will keep trying.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

It's true they call Tarth the Sapphire Isle. I've no sapphires for you now. What would you have me offer? Must one truly buy her way into this place? I have a strong sword arm and I offer it for the defense of your castle, if need arises, then.


I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. I so swear it. BT.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. I so swear it. BT.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. I so swear it. BT.
One day, marmalade the ghost of Renly Baratheon order will rule be restored to the world. I so swear it. BT."

(( OOC: The other Song of Ice and Fire muns were made aware of this application ahead of time as per the Interaction Rule. We will be the new talking cats! ))

Comments

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

Brienne?!?

What in hell are you doing here, wench?

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*is not exactly eloquent*

... Jaime?

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

No, Eddard Fucking Stark.

Yes, Jaime. Please tell me your wits haven't entirely deserted you.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

...ahem. You got a problem with people coming back from the dead, lady?

*Galahad the treecat growls from atop Laura's shoulder*

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

The last woman I saw come back from the dead called me a traitor. Which I am not. And hanged me for a traitor, which I am not. And only cut me down on the price of swearing to kill the man I love owe my life to.

You'll pardon me, I hope, lady, if I say I do not wish to see more rise from the dead.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Isn't there a tiny possibility she's not a representative sample of persons of the post-dead persuasion?

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

*looks over the application, eyebrow raised*

You sound to be a typical Gryffindor, or else a Hufflepuff: loyal, brave -- and unthinking. Have you even a notion what these houses signify?

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*bridles, feeling obscurely as though she's being insulted, but unable to find any overt mockery in the man's words*

*repeats, stubbornly* It is all one to me, this matter of houses.

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

In House Hufflepuff, one may have need to watch one's back. In House Gryffindor, one should always carry a spare handkerchief.

[cockneycat.livejournal.com]

'Naw, they ain't mockin' you,' says 'Teazer brightly. 'It really is this strange around here.'

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

Have you been required to tend bar, here?

[cockneycat.livejournal.com]

'Er...no, love. I'm not in Ravenclaw. Have you been asked to?'

[ugly-imp.livejournal.com]

((OOC: OMG Brienne squeee! Ahem.))

Do you always have that pole shoved up your arse, or are you this charming as a general rule?

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*flushes an unlovely shade of brick* Charm has never been a gift of mine, I know.

[ugly-imp.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's never particularly been one of my gifts either.

What, though, was that rather tense conversation you were having with my brother?

[dresdenfile.livejournal.com]

You seem very keen on honor. Can I ask why?

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

(( *grin* I should've known someone would try to get Brienne to think. It's not exactly one of her strong points. ))

What else does a knight cherish but honor? And I am a knight. I was Brienne the Blue, of King Renly's Rainbow Guard. Renly is no more, nor his guard -- gods forgive me that I could not save him -- but knighthood no one can take from me.

Vote: Gryffindor

[dresdenfile.livejournal.com]

That's a very Gryffindor answer. You remind me of my friend Murphy, in a way...integrity that can't be bought. I think I'd like you as a housemate.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily regarded the woman for a moment, then smiled softly. "I'm Lily." Something about her tugged at Lily - probably the fact that Lily, too, knew what it was to fight to save someone only to fail in the end. Or perhaps it was simply the fact that the other woman looked as if she felt out of place. Whatever the reason, Lily held out her hand to greet Brienne with a warm grin and a welcoming expression. "Pleasure to meet you, Brienne."

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*looks at the hand offered, wondering if she's being mocked -- if she were any other knight, she'd take it and kiss it -- because she'd be a man*

*warily* I thank you, Lily. What is your family name? You have a Tully look about you.

[silk-simkin.livejournal.com]

"Killing people? Is that how you solve all your problems? Dear me, but that seems awfully loutish of you. Isn't there some way that you could find that doesn't involve stabbing people?"

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

*lifts chin* Call me a lout if you wish, sir. I fought in defense of my king, and then in the service of my lady. There are problems I am not fit to solve, but I will give what I have -- my strength and my swordsmanship -- for what is right and what is justly asked of me.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

I use a sword as well. Perhaps we could practice swordfighting with one another someday. And I'm sure we can come up with something you can use as a bribe.

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

I would be honored to spar with you, noble Hat. What else might you desire as a bribe? I have little of value to give, I fear, and I cannot give you my blade Oathkeeper. I have salt fish in my saddlebag, and currant cakes.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

As a protector of others and a swordfighter, and as one who is sworn to protect another, I am certain you'll be best off in Gryffindor House!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!