[identity profile] lilypotter60.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
((Backdated to Halloween.))



It was odd, really, the way the human mind worked. The way a person, normally quite rational, could be consumed with what she knew was an irrational thought. A flight of fancy, a nightmare best regulated to under beds or inside closets, could become as real as the waking world; even whilst the person fights against it.

For example, Lily knew that tonight was just another night. A simple span of twenty-four hours; much like the day before and the day after. All Hallows Eve though it may be, Witch though Lily may be, she ascribed it no special powers or sway over the ooglie-booglies that haunted mortal imagination. It was simply a day of revelry - of costumes and candy and silly pranks. Nothing magical about it; at least, nothing more magical than was about any other day in a wizarding school.

Why, then, after a brief moment of relief with the Feegles and their Halloween mischief, Lily had found herself unable to do much else besides lock herself in her room behind far too many wards and curl up in a corner, wand out, she couldn't have said. Nothing was going to happen. Just because this was the night she'd died - the night James had been murdered - didn't mean a sodding thing. Voldemort wasn't going to burst through her room door and kill her again. She wasn't going to get an owl saying there'd been an attack on Harry. No Dark Mark floating over someplace she'd been too late to arrive to, no blank stares from bodies she had to bury with no one left to mourn them.

She knew that. And yet.

All the candles Lily owned were lit. In the far corner of her room, back firmly wedged against the wall, Lily's gaze kept flickering from the window to the door and back again. Defensive mode. But not against Voldemort. Because she knew that he wasn't a threat - or, rather, that he was a threat she could handle, one she understood and could ward against. And she wasn't afraid of an attack; not more than she usually was.

A small seed of thought had started to take root at the back of her mind, pushed down by the everyday noise of Lily's life, but not hindered in its growth by the lack of attention. Louder, now, was this idea, this fanciful thought that Lily knew - just as she knew Voldemort wasn't at this moment on his way up to her rooms with wand out - was entirely impossible.

What Lily was really afraid of at this moment, what had her curled up in the corner of her room, eyes wide open and jaw set, wasn't the thought of a replay of that night seventeen years (or, for her, five months) ago. It was the notion of a reversal.

Time seemed to have lost its once firm hold on the world, throwing the students and staff of Hogwarts into odd sort of in-between space where there weren't any rules to cling to any longer. Lily had come back, thrust forward seventeen years. To her, though, it'd been a matter of seconds. She also hadn't returned the same day she'd died, instead jumping back five months in the year. Time was, indeed, off its rocker and doing the funky chicken with Santa Claus in the Bahamas.

What Lily feared, irrationally she knew, was that once Halloween flipped over to the next day, the day she'd never gotten to live, she would...disappear. That all of this was simply a short reprieve and her Halloween now would turn into the last Halloween and she would once again be in that room, listening to that laugh, seeing James lying lifeless in the next room, and pleading for her son's life. That this time, the flash of green light wouldn't bring her to the Sorting Room. That she really would die, that whatever cosmic mistake had brought her back would reverse itself and she would be gone. That the tentative life she'd begun to carve for herself in this new world would be taken from her.

All she wanted was to have Perry hold her until the sun rose and her fears were proved false. She needed to feel connected; as if by anchoring herself to someone she could stave off the nothing she dreaded would overtake her. Lily wanted Sirius to hold her hand and tell her, again, that he wasn't going anywhere, because, maybe, that meant she wasn't either.

But, as had happened so often since coming back, Lily found herself unable to reach out to ask for those things. She should be able to handle this, she was being insane, she couldn't put her irrational fears onto them. They shouldn't have to deal with her, with this. Twice Lily nearly summoned over a bit of parchment and jotted off two owls, twice she stayed her hand. She was fine. Everything was fine. There was nothing to be afraid of.

In her room, with the candles burning steadily and causing shadows to dance on her walls, Lily curled up, chin resting on her knees, and waited for the morning. Alone.

Date: 2006-11-03 05:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
Or maybe not so alone. Perry had been warned (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/972503.html#cutid1) about this particular day by Sirius, and he had determined that Lily was going to get whatever comfort he could give her. He wasn't sure how much that would actually be, given who he was and how absolutely terrible he was at comforting anyone, but he was damn well going to try.

Besides, he hated Halloween anyway.

Perry figured Lily wasn't going to want to leave her room (and it was probably fair enough, if she was afraid; the security on his room was fairly pathetic), and so he spent the better part of the afternoon working up ways to distract her -- that didn't involve being horrified or mortified when Sirius dropped by later. Eventually, a short while after sundown, he got everything together and, Red Baron in tow with a huge and heavy-looking bundle on his back, went to Lily's room.

For once, he didn't bother to knock. The wards were still presumably tooled to let him in, and he didn't know what the situation inside would be. Quietly opening the door, he stuck his head aside and peered around.

Date: 2006-11-03 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
He had realized he would be freaked out, but he hadn't quite realized just how much. He tensed slightly as she glared at him, ready to use the door as a shield if necessary, when she got up to hug him. He blinked owlishly, then gave her a crooked smile. "Hiding?" he offered. "I can't stand Halloween." Putting his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head soothingly. "Can I come in?"

Date: 2006-11-03 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
"Huh? Oh." Cox glanced back over his shoulder at the Baron, whose presence he had unfortunately temporarily forgotten about. Whoops. Looking back to Lily, he grinned disarmingly, shrugging. "I~, uh... thought we could watch a movie or two?" Which meant the television had needed to, well, migrate. Poor Baron. "You knew, stay in, bully the house elves into making us pizza... pretty much the usual."

Date: 2006-11-05 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
Unfortunately, navigating a rather large pony and manhandling a television set were both not particularly conducive to hand-holding, and Perry had to let Lily go for the moment so he could send the poor Baron back to his home in the stables. Stepping back to pull the pony through, he grimaced with distaste at Lily's pizza order. "I... suppose," he agreed grudgingly. "If we can get peppers on it too?"

For his part, the plan was to act as if things were at least generally normal. Lily was having a bad night, but she was a ridiculously strong woman, and Perry didn't think she'd particularly appreciate him babying her all evening. She wasn't the type -- if she was, he wouldn't be with her in the first place. Yes, he wasn't the biggest proponent of 'talking things out' anyway, and hearing about Lily's death tended to make him extremely uncomfortable, but he really did think this way the way to go; what better way to ease the pain of the anniversary of, quite literally, the worst day of one's life, than to make it into just any other day? If Lily decided she wanted to ramble at him (as she sometimes did), he'd shut up and try to tune out the stuff that bothered him the most, but when he'd been trying to figure out what to do tonight he had figured that normality was key. Thus, the television.

He managed to get it set up pretty easily on top of her table in a few minutes. The charms on it weren't location-specific, and when he experimentally flipped it on, the thing seemed to work just fine. Satisfied, he returned to the Baron and unloaded the other, much smaller bundle, which turned out to contain an apple and a napping Steeler. The former went to the pony, a reward for his hard labor; the latter woke up immediately and jumped down to run around Lily's legs in circles.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-05 09:29 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-06 05:32 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-11-07 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
Sirius knew that Halloween wasn't going to be a good day for Lily, although he hadn't fathomed her exact reasons for dreading it. Luckily, Cox had said he didn't mind Sirius coming by to check on her (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/972503.html?thread=48005847#t48005847). And even more fortunately, Sirius no longer looked like Lily (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/968931.html?thread=47788771#t47788771). That likely would have been extremely disconcerting for all involved parties.

He stood outside Lily's door and knocked politely. There was no way he was going to try to burst past her wards. Besides, for all he knew, she could be having sex in there, and that was definitely something he did not want to be privy to.

Date: 2006-11-07 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
Perry, of course, knew full well who it was, and he tried to reassure Lily when she tensed up, but after a moment he realized she wasn't really paying attention to him. Sighing, he grabbed the puppy as Lily got up, pulling him up to lie on his stomach. "Hey, Fido," he called over to the Animagus, idly scratching Steeler's ears. "There's pizza somewhere if you want a slice."

Date: 2006-11-08 03:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
The door swung open, and Sirius was immediately greeted with a faceful of wand. "Easy there, Evans." He wasn't jarred enough to draw his own wand, but he did remain completely motionless - that is, until Lily pulled him inside.

Cox was on the bed with Steeler, and Sirius had been on the verge of formulating some innuendo-laden greeting to hurl at him when Lily was suddenly hugging him tightly and he hadn't the breath for it any more. Slowly, although not glacially so, he raised his arms and hugged her back, one arm encircling her shoulders and the other pressed against her back, palm flat against the lower tipes of her hair.

The light, clean scent of her hair made his heart start to pound, and he swallowed hard, reminding himself not to make a jackass of himself, especially in front of Cox. The further reminder that she was probably seeking some comfort on a day that represented the loss of her husband, her ability to raise her child, and her own life snapped his mind back into focus, and he squeezed her a bit harder to let her know he was there and mindful of how she must be feeling.

When she finally pulled back, he said, "I'm here to visit you, Pretty Bigjob Hag. Already did a bit of drinking. Missed my opportunity for debauchery, as, until fifteen minutes ago, I was still transfigured into you. So...I suppose I'm here to enjoy myself." He left his primary reason for being there unsaid. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. And he figured she'd be smart enough to work it out anyway.

Allowing her to pull him over to the bed, he nodded and smiled at Cox. "Hey, Perrilicious. Pizza and telly sound brilliant. What's on? Football? Car racing? Porn? If it's some girly romantic film, then I want to sit next to you," he said, pointing at Cox as he sat down on the bed next to Lily. After Summoning a slice of pizza over to himself and taking a huge bite, he dug into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a miniaturised pasty of sorts, which, reaching across Lily, he brandished in front of Steeler's nose and then dropped in his own lap. It was only a matter of seconds, if that, before Steeler had bounded over and started devouring the treat.

Date: 2006-11-08 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
Puzzled (and confused in all the wrong ways) by the talk of Sirius being transfigured into Lily, Perry sat up, displacing Steeler, and gave the pair a quizzical look. "Why~ was he turned into you?" he inquired of Lily as she curled up against him. "I'm not sure the world is ready for two of you." Good thing he didn't know about the Feegles, apparently.

At Lily's choice of movie, he rolled his eyes over to Sirius with a long-suffering look. "This is what I get for letting her take the damn remote," he lamented, though he returned the kiss Lily had given him as he said it. "And I'd move over for you, Skippy, i~f I trusted you to keep your hands to yourself for five minutes," he added. "I'm not so much in the mood to get molested tonight."

Date: 2006-11-09 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
Sirius nudged Lily back. "Well...I did need to have a wee. Actually, a couple of wees. I mean, I was drinking Firewhisky! But I was really careful - business only, I promise."

Sitting forward so he could see past Lily to Cox, Sirius said, "It's sort of an odd story. See, there were these wee Lilies with a heavy Scottish accent swarming all over the bar of your common room, and they wouldn't let me have Firewhisky unless I agreed to be transfigured through their...their wee-Lily Scottish magic - and so...I was turned into her. And I got Firewhisky." It sounded ridiculous. Then again, stranger things had happened at Hogwarts. Case in point: HOMSAR.

He glanced over at the TV. "Oh, Merlin," he groaned. "I think I feel a vagina regrowing itself on me. Could you have chosen anything more female than this?" He glanced back at Cox and Lily, catching the tail end of the kiss. After a brief moment, he forced himself to let it go. Staring back at the TV, he said, "Can we at least switch to The Speed Channel (http://www.speedtv.com/) during commercials? If not, I think we blokes are gonna have to stage a revolt to capture back the remote at some point. I mean, I'm losing testicle cells by the second, here."

Scooping Steeler up in his arms (and groaning at the dog's heaviness), he added, "I think I could keep my hands to myself for about ten minutes, yeah. I've got to play with this little bloke, and for that, I need my hands!" He started scratching under Steeler's chin. "Yeah, you like that, don't you? I know." He really did know the joys of getting a good under-chin scritch. "Can't promise more than ten minutes, though," he said to Cox. "You know, temptation and all that."

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-10 01:50 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-11 12:08 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-12 10:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-15 03:47 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-15 03:49 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-11-15 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
Perry might not have been picking up on every shift in Lily's mood, but he wasn't so insensitive that he didn't register the agitation that was clear on her face. Not to mention the "getting up, walking around, coming back, sitting down, getting up again"... thing, that wasn't disguising anything very well. And increasingly, he found himself at a loss: what was he supposed to do, really, about all this? He had come over to look out for her, to make her feel better, but how in the hell did that work with someone who had been violently murdered a year ago? He'd gotten depressed on the anniversary of his divorce, and that was like the exact opposite of what Lily'd been through.

When Lily got up again, snarling and stomping, he started to get up with her, to say.... something, to do something. But what? He really hated to see her like this, but everything he could think of just came up silly or hollow. The sense of frustation and helplessness was almost unbearable. Sighing, he sat back and downed the rest of his own drink, watching her go with dark, worried eyes.

As soon as the door shut, however, he turned to Sirius. "Okay," he said, leaning close, an edge of angry desperation in his voice. "We need to do something about this, and we need to figure out what right now. I..." He toyed with his glass, jaw clenching. "I have no idea what the hell to do, Fido, I really don't. I'm not equipped for this. I'm an immature, emotionally crippled narcissist." Looking up again, he scrutinized Sirius, narrowing his eyes. "You, o~n the other hand, are an equally immature sex addict, but... all the same, I think you've got this more in hand than I do. You at least know how she's feeling more than I do..."

Setting his glass aside, he leaned back against the headboard and sighed again, passing a hand over his face. "What the hell do we do?" Perry hated to admit defeat, and he despised asking other people for help -- even (perhaps especially) people he cared about -- but he saw no other option. And the truth was that Sirius did know Lily better than he did, and he definitely knew more about what was going on tonight. Lily had told Perry quite a bit about her murder, but he knew that his awareness of it didn't even come close to the reality of the situation.

Basically, if anything good was going to happen tonight... he really, truly hated to say it, but it was going to come from Sirius. The idea would have been maddening no matter who it had been; but at least he trusted the Animagus now, insofar as much as he trusted anyone at all.

As soon as the door opened again he rallied himself, quite well in fact, plastering a grin onto his face. "Well, there~'s a special on plastic surgery, and NASCAR's on... alternately, The Fast and the Furious appears to be on." He started to put his arm back around her, but stopped himself. It hadn't exactly seemed to help before. Fighting back a surge of sulky irritation, he turned back to the TV.

Date: 2006-11-17 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
For a while, things had continued to be fine. Sirius was highly amused with Lily's having agreed with his choice of programming, and although the mutual poking was sort of making him want to grab her hand and then not let go, it was fun just to be goofing around.

But then she got more and more fidgety, and Sirius didn't really know why. Of course, he understood the significance of the date - that's why he and Cox were in her room, trying to distract her - but he had expected her to be sad or sullen rather than anxious. He thought about asking her what was going on, but he didn't want to make things worse, and then she went off to the loo anyway, and he was left alone with Cox.

"Hey, give me credit, I'm emotionally crippled, too," Sirius protested lightly, amused at Cox's assessment of him. He shifted so he was looking at Cox. "And...well, I'm really not sure why she's so agitated. I mean, I thought she'd have a cry about James, or about how everything has changed, and then she'd be fine. I didn't think she'd be up and down, up and down like a restless garden gnome."

There was a loud crash from the bathroom, and Sirius glanced briefly in that direction before turning back to Cox. "Right. And I reckon she's going to pretend like that didn't happen. Okay. I'll tell you the one thing we can't do, which is sit around and try and keep her distracted, because obviously that's not working. I'll see if I can get it out of her." He took a sip of his Firewhisky. "I'm warning you now, this may not be pretty, but don't worry, if she ends up being loud about it, it'll probably be directed at me, not you. Just hang out and listen to her and...well, you know, if she starts crying...you know...comfort her and stuff."

It was tough for Sirius to say that. He wanted to be the one to hold Lily and stroke her hair and be there in that manner - and in many ways this was unrelated to his feelings for her. Rather, it came from his friendship with her - and his friendship with James - and from his very real understanding of the hardships they had been through together.

But Cox was her boyfriend, and so Sirius knew he had to stand back to the extent that Lily and Cox needed him to. After swallowing hard, he continued in what he hoped was a light tone, "And tea helps, too."

The sound of the bathroom door opening made him turn around. Lily looked all right...a little too all right. After she took his glass, Sirius gave her a sidelong glance and said casually, "So...doing all right there, Evans? Don't try and answer in the affirmative, because you know I'm going to get it out of you. At the very least, you owe it to the glass you broke in the loo." Again, he really wanted to put his arm around her, but instead he ran a finger lightly up and down her forearm and then looked at her expectantly. "What's going on?"

Date: 2006-11-19 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
He did trust Sirius, really he did, and he told himself that for Lily's sake he was for once actually going to shut up, listen, and do what he was told. That whatever happened, he would let happen without trying to interfere out of his own stupid selfishness. That none of this was about him in any way, shape or form.

That really didn't make it any easier when Lily turned away from him and to Sirius. Perry watched as she leaned into the Animagus, frowning, then quickly hid his expression behind the safety of his glass, though he continued to eye them over the rim. Jealousy and self-righteousness (that's my job, I should be the one to--) washed over him, but they were accompanied by an odd and uncomfortable sense of guilt (I should be the one to--) that made him shift and, after a moment, look away again.

There was something else, too, something that was harder to identify, and it took him a minute to get it: he felt, suddenly, like he was intruding. In a room with his girlfriend and his best friend, he felt like the third wheel. Of course, he realized Sirius had probably been feeling that way earlier, but... Sirius was the third wheel, he was supposed to feel that way, dammit, not Perry.

Basically, when it came down to it, nothing about this didn't suck, and Lily was still miserable. Lily, who, once again, this was supposed to be about in the first place. Oh for God's sake, just grow up already, Perry snapped at himself mentally. Lifting a hand, he hesitated uncertainly, then awkwardly patted Lily on the back.

Date: 2006-11-19 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
Sirius had been about to retort that he most definitely was an obnoxious person and that he planned to pry until she came out with it, and he might just continue to pry more after that, just for the fun of it, when Lily shifted, and she was pressed against him, and for a moment he froze, completely taken by surprise...completely conflicted...completely guilty.... Should he try and pass her off to Cox, even though he really really didn't want to?

And then instinct took over, and he put his arms around Lily, one around her shoulders and across her back and the other pushed through her hair, fingers resting lightly on her neck. A quick, guilty glance at Cox found him taking a sip of his drink - and hell, Sirius didn't blame him for that. Alcohol was a pretty good idea right about now, although Sirius quickly decided he himself wouldn't have any more, so that he didn't say or do anything dumb later on. More importantly, Cox didn't look as if he were about to tell anyone off or use his six pack as a weapon, so Sirius figured he was okay so far.

Actually, had it not been for the owl exchange he and Cox had had after the strip poker debacle (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/959971.html?thread=47436515#t47436515) and for the fact that Sirius felt horribly guilty for coveting his best friends' (yes, plural) girl, Sirius would have thought nothing of his own actions and wouldn't have worried one bit about Cox's reaction. But as it was, Sirius was definitely worried - and very relieved to find that Cox didn't seem to want to kill him...yet.

Anyway, Sirius was most concerned about Lily, especially when he didn't even know what the problem was in the first place, at least not exactly. Looking down and away from Cox, he tightened his hug a little and then bent his head down so his mouth was near Lily's ear.

"Hey. You're missing all the tits on telly," he half-whispered in a low tone, massaging her neck slightly. "Please tell me what's going on."

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-20 07:14 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-22 03:45 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-22 11:45 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-23 07:53 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-25 12:12 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-25 06:10 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-11-25 07:36 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-12-01 03:27 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-12-01 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
Sirius wasn't sure what Lily had said, but it didn't really matter. All of his attention shifted to her as his embrace tightened. There was no way he was going to let her get pulled away or fade or anything of the sort.

And then Cox's outburst jolted his senses. "Huh?" He pulled Lily in tighter for a moment, and then, realising what had happened, he relaxed. "Oh." He glanced at the clock and then lightly jiggled Lily's shoulder. "Well. You're still here, princess. And my shirt is intact. Thank Merlin for small favours."

Of course, mentally, Sirius was heaving huge sighs of relief. And although his grip had loosened, he was still holding onto Lily.

Date: 2006-12-02 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coxinsox.livejournal.com
God, he felt so stupid, so embarrassed. As soon as it was over, he'd felt a switch go off inside him, somehow -- something that said okay, Perry, time to stop panicking like a little girl. Things were fine. Everything was fine. Of course it was fine. He should have known better than to even let himself freak out; what, was a big hand going to materialize and grab Lily? It was ridiculous enough that she'd come back in the first place, but to think she might... No need to think about that any more. Shaking his head, he chuckled ruefully to himself, half out of shame and half from relief.

Everything was more than fine, and he desperately needed a drink. Leaving Sirius and Lily the bed, he went back to the table with the drinks, his back to them. He poured himself a shot and immediately downed it, swallowing hard as if knocking back all the fear, all the anxiety. Having solved that pressing need, he poured three more glasses, one for each of them, and turned back just in time to find Lily at his side.

Flashing her a shaky grin, he reached back behind himself just long enough to set the drinks back down. Then, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her slowly, sweetly. He understood the lack of words -- of course he of all people did. There was absolutely nothing he could say, but she had to know how happy he was to see her standing there, to feel her still there, right? Drawing back as she spoke, he laughed and kissed her forehead. "Well, I'd say we missed the plot, but God knows that'd be giving it way too much credit."

Date: 2006-12-02 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toujours-sirius.livejournal.com
Lily kissed him.

Sirius would have been less surprised had the big hand Cox had imagined actually materialised out of nowhere and grabbed Lily away from them.

She kissed him. On the lips. Quickly and innocently, yes. It was easily the sort of thing friends, close friends, would do with each other, at least, Europeans would. But at that moment, none of that mattered to Sirius, because she kissed him.

And that's when his mind stopped working. Wordlessly, he lifted his own hand to cup her neck, his fingers pushed into her hair and his eyes boring right back into hers. Consequences be damned. He was going to kiss her, because that was the only thing he knew how to do at that moment.

But before he had a chance, just as he was starting to close his eyes, she began to pull away. And then she was gone.

Which was a really good thing, because that's when the reality of what he had almost done hit him. Quickly, he turned and slid off the bed, heading straight for the TV, his head craned down and away from Lily and Cox so they couldn't see his face, which he was sure had a very embarrassed expression on it.

Kneeling down, he started to adjust some of the wiring in the back, not because it actually needed adjusting, but because he needed time to recover and sort himself out.

She kissed me. She kissed me. She's so beautiful. She kissed me.

After about ten seconds of fake tinkering, he glanced up...and saw Lily and Cox kissing. Despite his nearly disastrous move, he had felt lightheaded and detached, but now everything started to sink.

Lily was fine. She was happy. This was good. But she no longer needed him, and he knew he was very much the third wheel once again.

He stood. "Right. Well. I should go back to my room now." He looked down at the TV so he wouldn't have to look up at them, busying himself with brushing invisible dust off the top of it. "So...cheers. Don't watch anything I wouldn't watch." He forced himself to laugh as he looked back up at them, at Lily.

Profile

hh_mirror: (Default)
HH_mirror

March 2022

S M T W T F S
  12345
67 89101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 12th, 2025 12:48 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios