Suzie Costello, Torchwood

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

((So I think it goes without saying--MASSIVE SPOILERS for the first episode of Torchwood. And, y'know, TW in-general so far. Sorry, couldn't resist.))


A woman wanders in, almost shyly, confused and dazed. Hadn't she just been...? Where was she, now? In any event, she looks rather spooked, but she takes the time to answer the application anyway, as if it was any other paperwork.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I've never really been a big fan of cheese; I'm sorry. Um, but I guess my favourite would be mozzarella, you know, in those little cheese sticks. Or the kind on pizza. Owen always loved his pizza.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Kill...? Oh, well. Barney is clearly alien. I'm not saying I'm gonna kill any alien on sight, of course, because that's not what I do, but he's the bigger threat. And then I could use--nevermind.

3. What time is it where you are?
I...*confused* Oh, er, well, it was around 23:30 last I...remember.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?
I don't really do the sexually harassing. That was always more Jack's area of expertise. I'd have to do more research on these people, and it's never really so much the people that I want to learn about anyway. Tosh did that, usually.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ah, me being clever and witty, yeah, I don't think that'll work well, but I'll give it a shot. I think I'd call it...*smiles* Torchwood. ...I know, it's not particularly clever or witty--well, to me it is, but...just go with it.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Does it matter? You ought to see the way Jack makes with people, and it'd put this Harry to shame. Oh, but I remember this one case--*quickly* I read it, see, online--where...well, nevermind, it doesn't really matter, like I said, does it? I never was one for mythology. I get machines, you know, not so much people.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Because you haven't switched to computers, obviously. It's not that there isn't paperwork even after that, but it beats being swamped with all sorts of shit that could easily be accessed by a computer.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
*smirk* I'm handy with welding. No, really, most people wouldn't think that a woman's job, but I can do it, and I like to. Technology, learning about it, discovering what it does, I do that, too. Always was one for the hardware. It was...wonderful, really. Sort of miss it. More than sort of; I miss it a lot. He was right, that kid, John Tucker, he was right. There's nothing.

*deep breath*

But that's just me rambling on, don't mind me. The point is, I'm not useless. Got a mind and a body--and I don't mean that kind of body, but I suppose if I was actually interested in you, we could talk--and they work more than well for what I do. Did. But that's all right if you don't think much of me. It's not like a lot of people used to take notice.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Oh, well, um, I could lend a hand in anything they needed, really. If you need to figure out how something works, I'm sure I should be your first call. I love learning how and why things do what they do. And like I said, I'm handy with the hardware, so I can coble together something functional and useful for you. Just don't expect me to be at your beck and call, 'cause that's not what I do, not for just anyone, anyway.


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. SC
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. SC
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. SC
One day, marmalade will rule the world. SC"

Comments

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

God, this woman is shifty. Mel wiggles her nose in thought as to what to say, because--ulp.

'Here, you don't mean a Jack Harkness, do you?'

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"Oh, um...yeah, I do. You wouldn't happen to know him, would you?" Which would be very weird, because there aren't a lot of Jack Harknesses in the world, and her Jack always seems to slip into obscurity.

[twoyearsmissing.livejournal.com]

"Torchwood? Original..." Jack had been expecting this at somepoint, he just hoped he wouldn't have to deal with it. Might as well be him that finds her before anyone else that would know that the Jack she talked about was him. "Hello Suzie." He sounds almost sad as he spoke.

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

She jumped a little when she noticed him, and for a while, she remained looking like a deer in the headlights. "Jack...? Oh..." She put a hand to her mouth, panicking, not sure she wanted to face him now or ever. "Oh god, it's you--Jack, I'm so...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--I didn't ever mean for it to come to this, I just thought..." Rambling and ranting with fragmented sentences, what could she say to him?

"I didn't know what else to do--I just wanted to make it better, help the people, like we always try to do, but I didn't mean for...it was for a good cause, it was, but... Christ, I didn't know what to do, I thought you were going to...going to...I don't know, I'm so sorry, I didn't really mean to shoot you, and then I didn't know what I was supposed to do, so--"

Her eyes widened. "...You survived. You...you survived, fuck, Jack, how the hell did you--you could've at least told the rest of us!" At the end of it all, she found she really didn't know what to do at all, or what to say, and she stood there awkwardly, tugging her shirt down nervously.

[cockneycat.livejournal.com]

'Any of them alien things got gold or jewels in 'em?'

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"Maybe. But, seeing as I don't have any 'alien things' with me I don't seem to have my bag with me, I don't think there's a point to your question."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Laura Palmer petted the bobcat-like six-legged creature riding her shoulder, which was currently tense and hissing.

"Ahem. Ma'am. My Sphinxian treecat and I were wondering what it is you've got against aliens exactly."

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"Oh! No, nothing, honestly, I've got nothing against them. Love them!" The ones that weren't Weevils or other bits of dirty shit that washed through the Rift. "I was just saying, as an alien, there's more of a threat, unless we know it's harmless, or means no harm, anyway."

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

I have never quite become accustomed to computers; I confess I am not quite sure what to do with them. How would you use them to handle paperwork?

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

Well, a lot of the time, you can just sort of transfer the paperwork to the computer. You know, type it up and it's there, no papercuts or anything. Or you can scan it in. It's a lot quicker, much easier.

[rogue-nebari.livejournal.com]

"What the frell do you have against aliens, huh?"

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

She sighs a bit. "Nothing. Really, nothing, I'm just saying, there's more risk with aliens if we know little about them. I didn't mean to sound so crude."

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

Franky considered the bribe for a bit before lifting up his sunglasses and speaking.

"D'you have any experience in spaceships, or something useful to spaceships?"

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

[profmoony.livejournal.com]

Are you related to Elvis Costello, by any chance?

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

*smirks* Nah.

[slothbefouler.livejournal.com]

I say, you're friends with Captain Harkness? He seems like a splendid chap - apart from stealing my name, of course! *laughs at his own joke*

I am Captain Jack Aubrey, at your service, miss. You said you know about how things work - have you any knowledge of ships or nautical matters?

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

Yeah...he really is, isn't he? Oh, um, what kinds of ships are we talking about? All that nautical stuff was never my forte, but I'm sure I might know a thing or two anyway.

[mr-vera.livejournal.com]

Huh, you kinda remind me of Kaylee - what with the mechanical know-how an' all. I guess you oughta be in Hufflepuff so you can talk shop with her. How's that sound?

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

Sounds just fine; I'd like to have a chat with someone else who might have a clue what I'm talking about.

[jd-octor.livejournal.com]

JD walked in and smiled brightly. "You're one of Jack's friends?" he asked pleasantly, proferring a hand.

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"I, uh...yeah. Pretty much. Are you, then...?" She awkwardly shook his hand--this was weird...

[fantastic-rose.livejournal.com]

"You know Jack?" Rose barely scanned the application, but she picked up a few keywords, namely "Jack" and "Torchwood" and was off and running. She was painfully interested but a little wary.

"What're you doing here?"

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"Yes, and I have no idea." Bloody hell, did everyone suddenly know Jack? Figues, seeing how well he liked to get around sometimes... "Just sort of...was here. I shouldn't be, really, but here I am."

[doctorsdoctor.livejournal.com]

Harry, recently recovered from the unforeseen side effects of the gender swap potion, was leaning against the wall in the sorting room. Torchwood, he thought with a shake of his head as the questions and answers happened, blood brilliant.

"Hullo," he offered at a break in the discussion. "Harry Sullivan. Another one of those friends of Jack Harkness." And a member of a few secret institutions himself, which he preferred to keep secret. "And the Doctor." He smiled cheerfully. "So you're the tinker of your group, are you?"

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

"Pretty much. Oh, and the Doctor? I only know a little about him." Very little, but enough. "Has Jack made a lot of friends here, then? Doesn't really surprise me. He's quite...friendly."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Everyone seems to think you should be a Ravenclaw, a Ravenclaw, a Ravenclaw! But I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm the one who calls the shots around here! *smug*

*fits itself to Suzie's head*

Hmm ... You build things, you weld things ... You feel a bit Hufflepuffly, to me ...

[gets-inside-you.livejournal.com]

Er...all right...if you say--how can a hat talk? Are you animatronic? Some sort of scanning device? Slightly psychic?

Hufflepuff!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

You're brainy, but you're also pretty and handy. I know best where you should go!

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Hufflepuff!