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((Backdated to right after Josh's sorting.))
Hakkai, to put it succinctly, looked like he had been through hell, or possibly worse -- which he had been once, months and months ago, but he thought he had moved on since then. Or more accurately, he had repressed the memories just enough to allow him to function from day to day, to live something as close to a normal life as someone like him was capable of living.
Strange how just one short conversation could completely shake the grip he had over reality. Not that he had ever had much of a grip on it to begin with, honestly. It was really more of a sort of mutual agreement between himself and his sanity to remain within reaching distance of one another. But right now, it was currently inching just a little farther to the left than Hakkai was comfortable with.
As he made his way back to the Ravenclaw tower, he was only distantly aware of the fact that Sanzo was somewhere behind him; the part of him that acknowledged his presence waved it off as an act of preemptive damage control (I'm not going to do anything, it's fine it's fine everything is fine stop following me like I'm a rabid dog), and he sped up his step in an unconscious attempt to lose the monk. His hand kneaded the scar on his stomach, trying to ease some imagined ache that had been slowly intensifying ever since he had spoken with -- with him. He half expected to feel blood flowing over his fingers and was (disappointed, relieved,) confused when he didn't.
He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had left the Sorting Room, but it couldn't have been more than five or ten (or fifteen?) minutes -- and as he stumbled out of a hallway onto the landing of a staircase, he realized he had only managed to go around in one large and time-consuming circle. With the realization came a sudden loss of strength, and Hakkai pressed his back against a wall, slowly sinking to the floor. He wrapped one arm around his middle and brought his knees up, curling around the phantom pain of his old wound. And not for the first time in his life, Hakkai felt completely and utterly lost and helpless.
((Warning: The following events are not intended for viewers under the (emotional and mental) age of ten. No kittens were harmed or even present during the filming of this episode. For best results, take with a healthy does of wangsty music and water.))
Hakkai, to put it succinctly, looked like he had been through hell, or possibly worse -- which he had been once, months and months ago, but he thought he had moved on since then. Or more accurately, he had repressed the memories just enough to allow him to function from day to day, to live something as close to a normal life as someone like him was capable of living.
Strange how just one short conversation could completely shake the grip he had over reality. Not that he had ever had much of a grip on it to begin with, honestly. It was really more of a sort of mutual agreement between himself and his sanity to remain within reaching distance of one another. But right now, it was currently inching just a little farther to the left than Hakkai was comfortable with.
As he made his way back to the Ravenclaw tower, he was only distantly aware of the fact that Sanzo was somewhere behind him; the part of him that acknowledged his presence waved it off as an act of preemptive damage control (I'm not going to do anything, it's fine it's fine everything is fine stop following me like I'm a rabid dog), and he sped up his step in an unconscious attempt to lose the monk. His hand kneaded the scar on his stomach, trying to ease some imagined ache that had been slowly intensifying ever since he had spoken with -- with him. He half expected to feel blood flowing over his fingers and was (disappointed, relieved,) confused when he didn't.
He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had left the Sorting Room, but it couldn't have been more than five or ten (or fifteen?) minutes -- and as he stumbled out of a hallway onto the landing of a staircase, he realized he had only managed to go around in one large and time-consuming circle. With the realization came a sudden loss of strength, and Hakkai pressed his back against a wall, slowly sinking to the floor. He wrapped one arm around his middle and brought his knees up, curling around the phantom pain of his old wound. And not for the first time in his life, Hakkai felt completely and utterly lost and helpless.
((Warning: The following events are not intended for viewers under the (emotional and mental) age of ten. No kittens were harmed or even present during the filming of this episode. For best results, take with a healthy does of wangsty music and water.))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 08:39 am (UTC)As they rounded the corner, Hakkai suddenly stopped, looking as though he wanted to promptly turn around and get as far away from Hogwarts as physically possible -- which may or may not have been because of what Sanzo said about returning here after death. The only thing he had really thought about the seemingly resurrected attending the school was that it was probably a stroke of luck, extremely fortunate for them and their loved ones; it was something of which that he, for a fleeting moment, might have been jealous. But now he was giving the concept more thought, was thinking about it more deeply than he had before, and--
Oh-- oh. Well.
He managed a small, strained smile, forcing himself to move forward after the monk into the common room. "Should a Sanzo really be expressing doubt about reincarnation, or even the afterlife in general?" he asked in a way that he hoped sounded light and teasing, but sounded labored even in his own ears. He sighed and stopped again, making eye contact with Sanzo for what would likely be one of very few times for quite a while. "I'm sorry," he said with a meaningful glance towards the bar, "but would you mind terribly if I asked you to lend me your expertise for a moment?"
((Repost to correct grammar errors.))
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 04:27 pm (UTC)Sanzo suddenly realized that Hakkai wasn't following him anymore. He turned around and saw Hakkai frozen in place, looking a little like he'd been hit with a brick. It wasn't hard to guess what he was thinking about. Sanzo waited with a certain amount of sympathy until Hakkai started moving again. "If a Sanzo is supposed to have some secret knowledge about life after death, no one bothered to tell me," he replied. He raised an eyebrow at Hakkai's request. "What did you have in mind?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 06:58 pm (UTC)However, currently, it sounded like the most brilliant idea anyone had ever presented.
Well, he'd make allowances, just this once. He sighed, shoulders sagging a little. "I think I need a drink," he admitted finally. It wasn't likely he would be able to get anywhere close to fully drunk, but the idea of trying was probably satisfying enough by itself. "Preferably something very strong."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 07:56 pm (UTC)"Hmm. I think Gojyo has probably tried more of them than I have, but since he's not here at the moment..." Sanzo went behind the bar and looked over the selection. He ended up grabbing two bottles, one of the ubiquitous fire whiskey bottles for himself, and something labeled 'Pre-mixed Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters' for Hakkai. He was pretty sure that the second one was one of the bottles Gojyo had selected the night he had arrived at Hogwarts. Sanzo remembered sampling it, and then he didn't remember very much at all for a while after that. If anything was going to have an effect on Hakkai, it was probably that one.
He set the bottles on the bar, and snagged two glasses. "Are we drinking here? Or are you planning on seeing how high your alcohol tolerance really is?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 11:22 pm (UTC)He was soon brought out of his own thoughts when Sanzo placed the bottles in front of him, recognizing only the bottle of Firewhiskey. He looked up at him, making little to no effort to hide his confusion. "Ah, 'we'?" he echoed absently. Hakkai had expected Sanzo to take his leave right after he had gotten the drink for him, probably to go examine notes or do more research for a locator spell. "It's all right, really, you don't have to. . ." He trailed off lamely and tried a different maneuver. "You must be busy, I wouldn't want to distract you any more than I already have."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 02:22 am (UTC)He filled his glass with ice and poured the Firewhiskey. He wasn't planning to get drunk this time. He also wasn't planning to let Hakkai get drunk alone. He decided to try different tactic, counting on Hakkai's occasionally ridiculous politeness. "If you're trying to get rid of me, just say so."
no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 05:02 am (UTC)He took the bottle Sanzo had given him and was only momentarily surprised by the odd name. He moved to uncap it before hesitating. "Well," he said, smiling brightly (too brightly) and laughing softly (too self-deprecatingly). He stood and picked up the empty glass. "I think trying to get me intoxicated is an experiment best done somewhere private, don't you?"
no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 05:49 am (UTC)"I think that's probably a good idea. Your room?" he suggested. "That way if you do get drunk, I don't have to haul your ass back there." Sanzo was also hoping Gojyo would be there, oddly enough. In some ways Gojyo knew Hakkai better than Sanzo did, and he was probably better at dealing with this kind of emotional shit anyway. Sanzo picked up his bottle and glass. "After you."
He followed Hakkai up the stairs and down the hall to their rooms. Sanzo was amused to see Hakkai actually knock on his own door before he opened it. Then again, if he was Gojyo's roommate (not likely), he would probably knock too. He followed Hakkai into the room.