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((A note: The show Haruhi is from, the incomparably, cracktastically wonderful Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, was aired with its episodes out of order, so I thought it would be a funny piece of meta to scramble up the application. Feel free to have your characters ignore it or notice it if they're meta-inclined.))
A questionnaire, huh? Fine. My name is Haruhi Suzumiya, formerly of North High School. Normal humans don't interest me at all, but if there are any aliens, time travellers, sliders or espers here, come find me! There's my introduction!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A bribe... Okay then! For a limited time only, I'll open up membership in the SOS Brigade! Without the others here anyway we need new types! Like a mascot... Oh! Or you could have a part in my next movie! Or maybe you could sponsor it, if you have a business you want to advertise! That would be exciting, right?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Oh! That's a great question! Is that here to weed out all the aliens, demons, and other supernatural forces that wouldn't be familiar with human cheeses? Excellent!! As for me, I like gouda, I guess... as far as normal human cheese go. Or that sweet kind.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney's that purple dinosaur on that American kid's show, right? He deludes small children into having false beliefs! Everyone knows dinosaurs aren't really around anymore, but it sucks to be a little kid and then find that out later on. So he should definitely go. But I saw Carrottop on TV, and he was really boring... Well, if you're gonna kill one, you may as well kill 'em all!
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
You have poor management! Get a subordinate to get rid of it for you. That's why they're there!
3. What time is it where you are?
It's 3 o'clock. That's a stupid question, don't you have a watch or a cell phone?
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
Pfff. It's all the others who are useless. I'm the ultra director of the SOS Brigade, and the hit smash movie Asahina Mikuru's Adventure Episode 00, and I'm an ultra detective! I seek out weird mysteries all over! And I'm always hunting down aliens and other paranormal things.
And I can do all sorts of things like play baseball and the guitar and cook and sing and stuff but that's not important anyway.
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Who cares about stuff like that? Romance is so overrated. Who has time for it? Anyway, aren't those all boys' names? The sex question was more interesting!
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh oh! Do they have a mascot-type character too? Which one has the biggest breasts? Can I see them?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
SOS Bar, of course! That's the Save the world by Overloading it with fun (and drinks) Haruhi Suzumiya Bar!
"I have read the
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. HS
I have read the
hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. HS
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. HS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. HS"
A questionnaire, huh? Fine. My name is Haruhi Suzumiya, formerly of North High School. Normal humans don't interest me at all, but if there are any aliens, time travellers, sliders or espers here, come find me! There's my introduction!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A bribe... Okay then! For a limited time only, I'll open up membership in the SOS Brigade! Without the others here anyway we need new types! Like a mascot... Oh! Or you could have a part in my next movie! Or maybe you could sponsor it, if you have a business you want to advertise! That would be exciting, right?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Oh! That's a great question! Is that here to weed out all the aliens, demons, and other supernatural forces that wouldn't be familiar with human cheeses? Excellent!! As for me, I like gouda, I guess... as far as normal human cheese go. Or that sweet kind.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney's that purple dinosaur on that American kid's show, right? He deludes small children into having false beliefs! Everyone knows dinosaurs aren't really around anymore, but it sucks to be a little kid and then find that out later on. So he should definitely go. But I saw Carrottop on TV, and he was really boring... Well, if you're gonna kill one, you may as well kill 'em all!
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
You have poor management! Get a subordinate to get rid of it for you. That's why they're there!
3. What time is it where you are?
It's 3 o'clock. That's a stupid question, don't you have a watch or a cell phone?
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
Pfff. It's all the others who are useless. I'm the ultra director of the SOS Brigade, and the hit smash movie Asahina Mikuru's Adventure Episode 00, and I'm an ultra detective! I seek out weird mysteries all over! And I'm always hunting down aliens and other paranormal things.
And I can do all sorts of things like play baseball and the guitar and cook and sing and stuff but that's not important anyway.
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Who cares about stuff like that? Romance is so overrated. Who has time for it? Anyway, aren't those all boys' names? The sex question was more interesting!
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh oh! Do they have a mascot-type character too? Which one has the biggest breasts? Can I see them?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
SOS Bar, of course! That's the Save the world by Overloading it with fun (and drinks) Haruhi Suzumiya Bar!
"I have read the
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I have read the
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I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. HS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. HS"
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Date: 2006-09-05 02:42 am (UTC)*holds out his hand*
Sirius Black, of the application question. It's nice to meet you.
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Date: 2006-09-05 02:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-09-05 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 03:09 am (UTC)Why, do you know any?
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Date: 2006-09-05 03:11 am (UTC)An' why're you huntin' paranormal things?
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Date: 2006-09-05 03:15 am (UTC)And because normal humans are totally boring! I'm sick of everyday life!
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Date: 2006-09-05 03:28 am (UTC)if she had the biggest breasts in the Order (when Sirius was his proper gender, of course)what the girl was so excited about."Er, hello," she smiled, holding out her hand. "I'm Lily. Do you know where you'd like to be Sorted?"
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Date: 2006-09-05 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 06:13 am (UTC)Vote: Hoofenpoof!
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Date: 2006-09-05 06:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 06:21 am (UTC)People keep saying they do, I'm getting really fed up with these hoaxes...
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Date: 2006-09-05 10:20 pm (UTC)"Hi!" said Pippi brightly. "I'm a little bit not normal, according to some people. But I'm still human!"
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Date: 2006-09-06 02:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
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From:Vote: Slytherin!
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Date: 2006-09-06 03:45 am (UTC)"Hello," said Honor. "I'm Honor, and this is Nimitz. I do hope he qualifies as something interesting, at least!" Nimitz gave a bleek of laughter and jumped down from Honor's shoulder to get a better look at Haruhi.
((Note: Honor will appear to be a normal, but very tall, woman. Nimitz, otoh, is a six-limbed telepathic alien felinoid about the size of a bobcat. His front limbs are arms with four-fingered hands. Haruhi wants weird? He's weird!))
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Date: 2006-09-06 03:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-09-06 04:43 pm (UTC)"Konnichi wa" Lain speaks up in her native Japanese, bowing slightly.
"I'm Iwakura Lain. How are you?"
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Date: 2006-09-07 02:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-09-06 05:29 pm (UTC)Malice looked this 'Client' over, her plastic-looking face and eyes not giving away anything but a soulless smile.
"Do you have a liking for the female form?" She asked in response to the fourth question.
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Date: 2006-09-07 02:31 am (UTC)Hufflepuff
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Date: 2006-09-08 03:01 am (UTC)Your bribe has been accepted.
Welcome to Ravenclaw!