hh_mirror | Kazuo Kiriyama, Battle Royale

justforkills.livejournal.com posting in

A Japanese boy stands in the Sorting Room, wearing a school uniform with a strange metal collar around his neck. He seems pretty surprised at his surroundings... or maybe it's not just that. With a blank expression, he lifts a hand and slowly waves it in front of his face, squinting, then touches it to his eyes. Needing further convincing, he lowers his hand further to touch the collar around his neck... and smiles, slowly.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Silence; he doesn't answer. In fact, he appears bored by the question.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Ah..." Now he does respond, his voice soft and flat, sounding as though it isn't used very often. "Why kill only one? Two is just as good. I'd take them both."

3. What time is it where you are?

He glances down at the plain black watch on his wrist. "7:37 PM... That's right." The time seems to mean something to him; he tips his head back thoughtfully and gives a sort of half-smirk.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

The smile is already gone from his face again. He shrugs slightly. "It doesn't really matter who. 'How'... that could be interesting. I might do it if I were in the mood to."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Battle Royale... in the dark, you said? Hm." He waves his hands slowly in front of his face again, as if to reassure himself that they're there. "...Sure, why not."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Again, silence. He looks around, bored.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"You're not doing well enough, then." He thinks about it for a moment. "...Try blowing the desk up."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"What does useless mean? I was a good student, I know two foreign languages, I play the violin, I ran a gang, and I've killed 13 people. Do those things make me useful?"

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"A bribe..." For a moment, he falls silent, then nods decisively. "All right. I have money. I can buy lots of things. And I'm pretty good at getting things that can't be bought. So... whatever you want."

All the talking seems to have tired Kiriyama out. He slouches and begins to toy with the collar around his neck, waiting for his replies.