Right. And what exactly am I supposed to say? 'Oh, no. Sorry. My ex-boyfriend thinks you're a psycho, so I'm not allowed to go out with you'? God. Besides, I'm not entirely sure there's anything for me to be worried about.
I don't know, maybe something like, "I'm sorry, strange man who's just written me out of the blue, have we met? Have either of us even seen each other or exchanged two words? So why exactly are you asking me out?"
You don't think that's at all weird or suspicious, even aside from everything I told you? Oh, no, of course, you're just that fabulous that any guy would want to go out with you, sight unseen and with no knowledge of you. But watch out. What if you're out having your tea or vodka, and he pulls out copies of "The Watchtower" on you?
Actually, he said he wants to go out with me because he likes the way I deal with you. He said, and I quote, "I can't help but think that someone who refers to Mr. Echolls as 'needy' and, ah, 'emo', and is the cause of much talk, must obviously be an interesting person."
And really, Logan. If he does that, I laugh at him and leave. Just like I'd do with any Jehova's Witness.
Yeah. So what you're saying is, he thinks you're just a stupid self-satisfied little teenage wannabe bad girl dumb enough to like a total stranger because he flatters you and insults your whiny kicked puppy of an ex-boyfriend (who annoyed him by blocking him out with another girl). You know, I wouldn't have agreed with him normally.
Well gosh I don't know what I'd do if that happens, Logan. I guess I just get scared and die. I mean what with me being a helpless little girl that needs a big strong man to protect me at all times and everything.
God, and how do you know he's all Evil or whatever anyway? Maybe he's asking the "post dead girls" out because the fact that they're alive again interests him.
Yeah. Jealousy is so what this is. If only I were skinny, gray haired, and creepily perky, all the girls would be breaking down my door.
Excuse me if I don't find the idea of you dying again funny. Excuse me for trying to look out for someone I consider (god knows why) a friend.
Do you want references? An evidence list? What? The fact that he tried to take Susan off to someplace where she would've been killed isn't enough? How about the fact that he hangs out with assassins and serial killers? What the hell reason do you have to want to meet this guy?
I know, baby. But don't be so hard on yourself. You're still desireab--okay, yeah. Can't do it. I'm laughing too hard to keep my pen steady.
You're excused.
Well, taking someone "somewhere they could be killed" isn't exactly a good reason, since "somewhere they could be killed" could be, literally, anywhere but here. I mean, hell, Logan. I'm going shopping with this Rose chick whenever she gets off her ass and owls me soon. Does that mean I'm going to kill her? Or does it mean that she is in desperate need of new shoes?
After all these years, all my effort to keep my youthful figure and mix you a cocktail every night when you come home, you no longer find me attractive? You'll be moving on to some blonde half your age, and leaving me clutching my pearls and weeping into my TV dinner.
Thanks, but I'm not going anywhere. Sorry.
I said "would have been killed." Which is significantly different from "could be killed." If you were taking this girl for a shopping trip and weekend getaway at the Overlook Hotel (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081505/), I think she'd have reason to be worried.
...oh. Okay. You do realize my brain is now crowded with hilarious/terrifying visions of a Hogwarts showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show? This is something that troubles you? Do you want me to mix you a drink? What would you like?
I can see it, definitely. Opportunity for girl-on-girl eroticism/violence, elaborately staged strangling deaths - it's got promise, kid. Write a treatment and I'll shop it around.
That would be all kinds of awesome. We should make it happen.
You know, if I didn't know better I'd say you just asked me if I wanted to go on a date. Is this your cunning plan to keep me from seeing the creepy guy?
Yeah, sure. I'll get right on that. What should we call it, do you think? Asphyxia? Or maybe The Choking Game I mean, people liked The Crying Game. Maybe they'll think it's a sequel and pay for that.
I don't know, would that work? I wouldn't expect it to. Going out with me never seemed to stop you before. Hanging out plus alcohol must equal date? All this time, Dick must've been trying to tell me something!
I'm thinking more of a "Ginger Snaps" kind of tone. "Nilla Waifs"?
Just not Batman. ...Or Lord of the Rings, apparently
And again I point out that I was not the one that cheated on you I think Dick would try to sleep with anything that stays still long enough.
There was no lesbian subtext in Ginger Snaps, Logan. They were sisters. And I'm not really a waif, you know? Maybe Ritz Crackas? That was too Weevil, wasn't it? Well, I laughed when I thought of it, so it's staying in. Sorry.
Oh, seriously, tip of the iceberg. This is one of the reasons I've been thinking hard about what I can show without breaking people's brains. Now that I think of it, Magenta did apply. But she's popcorn now.
And again I call bullshit. (a) I did not cheat on you. (b) Even if you say you didn't cheat on me, why exactly should I believe you? and (c) Even if you didn't "cheat" according to your own extra-special definition of the word, it's still all kinds of screwed up to treat your boyfriend like a jacket you can take off every time you get hot for someone else, and then put back on when you're cold. Especially if you think that that kind of thing somehow makes you okay and ahead of him in the game. It doesn't. But as a matter of fact, I didn't even mean sex with other guys. Or not totally. I meant doing stupid shit that puts you in danger for no good reason at all. Gah. Bad images! Bad, bad images. Also...tactful.
Yeah, right. No subtext at all. You're not particularly vanilla, either, baby. But you are golden and delicious. And you do get pretty cheesy sometimes. Ha.
Didn't actually meet her. Just heard about it later. Sucks, doesn't it? I keep making references to Lara Croft, just in case the universe is listening, but so far no dice.
...so you have a thing for Magneta? Like, in person rather than as dressing up for her?
Yeah. I do remember having this conversation but I don't remember deciding anything of the kind. Or was that the royal "we"?
Be kinda funny if he turned up as that guy from "Oklahoma" or "The Man from Oz," rather than Wolverine or whatever.
...Bad mental images being replaced by very, very good ones.
Nope. Sorry. Possibly my hand just started cramping up from all this writing back and forth about the technicalities of some stupid little bullshit thing that happened two years ago...when one or two other things also happened shortly thereafter. Sorry if my memory's a little hazy.
Yeah, there aren't actually showers here. Possibly you could see him getting out of a bubble bath, though, if you staked out the men's dorms of whatever house. Which would probably not be Slytherin, no matter which character he was.
I meant you and...nevermind. Whatever.
I'm reminded of the end of "Taming of the Shrew," now. Yes, I've been reading. Shut up. You don't get to say where or what the light is, sorry. And who says the other things are resolved?
So? Somewhat skeevy in real life, perhaps, but in a movie...I'm not seeing a problem here.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-06-03 08:01 am (UTC)What thePlease tell me you've got a reason for not just brushing him off.Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-03 09:18 am (UTC)Right. And what exactly am I supposed to say? 'Oh, no. Sorry. My ex-boyfriend thinks you're a psycho, so I'm not allowed to go out with you'? God. Besides, I'm not entirely sure there's anything for me to be worried about.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-03 04:38 pm (UTC)I don't know, maybe something like, "I'm sorry, strange man who's just written me out of the blue, have we met? Have either of us even seen each other or exchanged two words? So why exactly are you asking me out?"
You don't think that's at all weird or suspicious, even aside from everything I told you? Oh, no, of course, you're just that fabulous that any guy would want to go out with you, sight unseen and with no knowledge of you. But watch out. What if you're out having your tea or vodka, and he pulls out copies of "The Watchtower" on you?
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-03 04:50 pm (UTC)Actually, he said he wants to go out with me because he likes the way I deal with you. He said, and I quote, "I can't help but think that someone who refers to Mr. Echolls as 'needy' and, ah, 'emo', and is the cause of much talk, must obviously be an interesting person."
And really, Logan. If he does that, I laugh at him and leave. Just like I'd do with any Jehova's Witness.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-03 09:22 pm (UTC)Yeah. So what you're saying is, he thinks you're just a stupid self-satisfied little teenage wannabe bad girl dumb enough to like a total stranger because he flatters you and insults your whiny kicked puppy of an ex-boyfriend (who annoyed him by blocking him out with another girl). You know, I wouldn't have agreed with him normally.
So what do you do if he pulls out a sword?
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 03:31 am (UTC)Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Logan.
Well gosh I don't know what I'd do if that happens, Logan. I guess I just get scared and die. I mean what with me being a helpless little girl that needs a big strong man to protect me at all times and everything.
God, and how do you know he's all Evil or whatever anyway? Maybe he's asking the "post dead girls" out because the fact that they're alive again interests him.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 03:50 am (UTC)Yeah. Jealousy is so what this is. If only I were skinny, gray haired, and creepily perky, all the girls would be breaking down my door.
Excuse me if I don't find the idea of you dying again funny. Excuse me for trying to look out for someone I consider (god knows why) a friend.
Do you want references? An evidence list? What? The fact that he tried to take Susan off to someplace where she would've been killed isn't enough? How about the fact that he hangs out with assassins and serial killers? What the hell reason do you have to want to meet this guy?
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 03:56 am (UTC)I know, baby. But don't be so hard on yourself. You're still desireab--okay, yeah. Can't do it. I'm laughing too hard to keep my pen steady.
You're excused.
Well, taking someone "somewhere they could be killed" isn't exactly a good reason, since "somewhere they could be killed" could be, literally, anywhere but here. I mean, hell, Logan. I'm going shopping with this Rose chick
whenever she gets off her ass and owls mesoon. Does that mean I'm going to kill her? Or does it mean that she is in desperate need of new shoes?And I never said I was meeting him.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 04:23 am (UTC)After all these years, all my effort to keep my youthful figure and mix you a cocktail every night when you come home, you no longer find me attractive? You'll be moving on to some blonde half your age, and leaving me clutching my pearls and weeping into my TV dinner.
Thanks, but I'm not going anywhere. Sorry.
I said "would have been killed." Which is significantly different from "could be killed." If you were taking this girl for a shopping trip and weekend getaway at the Overlook Hotel (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081505/), I think she'd have reason to be worried.
...And aren't you just the cutest thing ever.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 04:33 am (UTC)You never mixed me a drink in your life. You would get me drinks, sure. But when did you ever mix me one?
Oh, god. Overlook Hotel. Yeah. I see your point. She could have been bored to death.
I like to think I am.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:11 am (UTC)Yeah, well, I don't usually wear pearls either. What do you mean, I never mixed you a drink? I must've.
Okay, then. If you took her to Texas while carrying a chainsaw?
I know you do.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:15 am (UTC)Nope. Never.
And get grease all over myself. Yeah. That's gonna happen.
Lots of people agree with me.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:21 am (UTC)Dressing up for Rocky Horror doesn't count, Magenta.
You're more of a stilletto type. So were you planning on killing this poor girl on the shoe shopping trip?
Too bad none of those people are here.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:26 am (UTC)I actually meant "Nope. Never did you mix me a drink." But, you know, whichever way you wanted to take it.
Oh, yeah. Totally. I'm going to strangle her with a scarf. I don't think that's been done in horror movies, yet. I'll start a whole new franchise.
Give me time.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:44 am (UTC)...oh. Okay.
You do realize my brain is now crowded with hilarious/terrifying visions of a Hogwarts showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show?This is something that troubles you? Do you want me to mix you a drink? What would you like?I can see it, definitely. Opportunity for girl-on-girl eroticism/violence, elaborately staged strangling deaths - it's got promise, kid. Write a treatment and I'll shop it around.
Ha. We'll see.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:54 am (UTC)That would be all kinds of awesome. We should make it happen.You know, if I didn't know better I'd say you just asked me if I wanted to go on a date. Is this your cunning plan to keep me from seeing the creepy guy?
Yeah, sure. I'll get right on that. What should we call it, do you think? Asphyxia? Or maybe The Choking Game I mean, people liked The Crying Game. Maybe they'll think it's a sequel and pay for that.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:19 pm (UTC)Well, I have been planning a movie night...I don't know, would that work? I wouldn't expect it to.
Going out with me never seemed to stop you before.Hanging out plus alcohol must equal date? All this time, Dick must've been trying to tell me something!I'm thinking more of a "Ginger Snaps" kind of tone. "Nilla Waifs"?
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 07:27 pm (UTC)Just not Batman. ...Or Lord of the Rings, apparentlyAnd again I point out that I was not the one that cheated on youI think Dick would try to sleep with anything that stays still long enough.There was no lesbian subtext in Ginger Snaps, Logan. They were sisters. And I'm not really a waif, you know? Maybe Ritz Crackas?
That was too Weevil, wasn't it? Well, I laughed when I thought of it, so it's staying in. Sorry.Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-04 09:30 pm (UTC)Oh, seriously, tip of the iceberg. This is one of the reasons I've been thinking hard about what I can show without breaking people's brains. Now that I think of it, Magenta did apply. But she's popcorn now.
Gah. Bad images! Bad, bad images. Also...And again I call bullshit. (a) I did not cheat on you. (b) Even if you say you didn't cheat on me, why exactly should I believe you? and (c) Even if you didn't "cheat" according to your own extra-special definition of the word, it's still all kinds of screwed up to treat your boyfriend like a jacket you can take off every time you get hot for someone else, and then put back on when you're cold. Especially if you think that that kind of thing somehow makes you okay and ahead of him in the game. It doesn't. But as a matter of fact, I didn't even mean sex with other guys. Or not totally. I meant doing stupid shit that puts you in danger for no good reason at all.
tactful.Yeah, right. No subtext at all. You're not particularly vanilla, either, baby. But you are golden and delicious. And you do get pretty cheesy sometimes.
Ha.Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 10:18 am (UTC)You could probably show My Friend Flika, but...who would want to watch it?Really? Was she as hot as she was in the movie?Logan. We already had this conversation. Remember? We decided that you made out with Yolanda while we were still together?Seriously. They were both too busy trying to sex up that hot drug dealer to be having creepy incestuous werewolf sex.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 01:03 am (UTC)Exactly. What the hell is "My Friend Flicka"?
Didn't actually meet her. Just heard about it later. Sucks, doesn't it? I keep making references to Lara Croft, just in case the universe is listening, but so far no dice.
...so you have a thing for Magneta? Like, in person rather than as dressing up for her?
Yeah. I do remember having this conversation but I don't remember deciding anything of the kind. Or was that the royal "we"?
That's text. Subtext's a whole nother thing.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 07:05 am (UTC)Some crap about a kid with a horseI'm hoping for Hugh Jackman, myself.Call me curious.Oh. Well, you stopped trying to defend your incorrect viewpoint, so I thought that meant you finally remembered what really happened.Okay, wiseguy, what was the subtext?
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 06:32 pm (UTC)Ah.
Be kinda funny if he turned up as that guy from "Oklahoma" or "The Man from Oz," rather than Wolverine or whatever.
...Bad mental images being replaced by very, very good ones.
Nope. Sorry. Possibly my hand just started cramping up from all this writing back and forth about the technicalities of some stupid little bullshit thing that happened two years ago...when one or two other things also happened shortly thereafter. Sorry if my memory's a little hazy.
Hot lesbian lustiness. Clearly.
Logan
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 06:56 pm (UTC)Just so long as I get to see him coming out of the shower in a towelYeah. Hugh Jackman does that to me, too.Well, the things that happened shortly thereafter are all resolved. This, however, is something you refuse to see the light on.They were sisters.
Lilly
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 07:49 pm (UTC)Lilly,
Yeah, there aren't actually showers here. Possibly you could see him getting out of a bubble bath, though, if you staked out the men's dorms of whatever house. Which would probably not be Slytherin, no matter which character he was.
I meant you and...nevermind. Whatever.
I'm reminded of the end of "Taming of the Shrew," now. Yes, I've been reading. Shut up. You don't get to say where or what the light is, sorry. And who says the other things are resolved?
So? Somewhat skeevy in real life, perhaps, but in a movie...I'm not seeing a problem here.
Logan