Owl to Adam Young from River Tam Maturin, strongly warded

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

Dear Adam,

I don't know if you remember me, but Nny Mr. C. Nny Johnny Nny introduced us a couple of months ago at a flying practice and we talked and I would have danced with you over you not helping Nny only you made sense and I try not to dance with people when they're making sense unless I have to and Anyway, I had a... disagreement... with Nny and I was wondering if you could help me figure out what to do about it and if it's reparable and if so how do I do it?

Sincerely,
River Tam Maturin

((OOC: Sorry for the delay on this!))

Comments

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

River,

Course I remember you. You flew real well that day. I'm sorry to hear of your disagreement with Nny and if I can help, I'd be glad to, so long as you remember that he's my friend, too.

Do you wanna meet somewhere to talk? I know you're usually more comfortable when you can read people in person and know when they're tellin' the truth and stuff.

Let me know. I'm free just about all the time.
Adam

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

A.---

That's awfully nice of you! I know he's your friend, and I'm not asking you to take sides or anything--- actually, if you could help me figure out how to make things better with Nny, that's what I'm looking for, really.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Especially the part about you actively letting me read you. I'm free... well, now, if you want to meet. Where?

---R.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

River,

I like talkin' about serious stuff outside. It seems less oppressive or somethin' out there. How about a walk around the lake? I could meet you at that funny rock that's good to sit on.

Adam

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

A.---

That sounds good! See you there!

---R.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

The spring days at Hogwarts had been lovely, but cool, so Adam pulled on the ugly but comfortable jumper Aziraphale had given him for his twentieth birthday a couple of weeks back and walked down to the lake. River wasn't there yet, so he settled on the rock, and gazed out thoughtfully over the water. He honestly wasn't surprised that things had come to such a turn between River and Nny. They were both wound fairly tightly after all, but he wasn't going to speculate about what had happened. He'd learn soon enough. Until then, he pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and waited.

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River came down a little while later; she sensed Adam sitting on the rock, but waited until she'd reached a comfortable conversational distance before speaking. "Hello, Adam. Thank you for agreeing to talk to me about... this."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"Hallo, River," Adam said, looking up and smiling. "I'd talk to you about anythin' you wanted to talk about. Do you wanna walk or sit here while you tell me what's up?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

For answer, River crawled up onto the rock and sat down next to him. "Thanks," she said, tucking her knees to her chin. "It's... Nny. We had a fight and I'm not sure... I'd like to make up with him, but I'm not sure which one of us was responsible for what part of it. Because I know I hurt him, but I didn't know I was doing it when I did it, and I'm not sure there was any other way to... handle what happened, even if I'd known. I'm not sure it wasn't the... best option available." She looked at him miserably.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam looked sideways at her, trying to decide if she'd be okay with physical comforting as well as verbal. "Well I can't say anythin' until I understand what happened. Can you tell me from the beginnin'?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River smiled a little. "I'm always glad of hugs." Her expression turned somber. "Well... I don't know how much you know about Nny's... life... right now... but what happened is that he and I... went flying... and I read something about him, and he knew I'd read it, and so did... the other people involved, and then I was talking to Stephen--- my... fiance---" she managed to stop herself just in time from saying, "husband--- "and Stephen wanted me to... do something... that would have put me at cross-purposes to Nny, and I didn't want that because Nny's my friend, so I told him what I'd read from Nny because it... explained the situation--- and I didn't know Nny would mind my telling Stephen---" Her voice rose; she managed to calm herself with an effort. "So that's... what happened."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam put an arm around her shoulder, seeing no reason not to when he wanted to and she didn't mind, and gave her a comforting squeeze.

"I think I understand," he began, "and I'm not gonna lay blame on anyone. It seems like a reg'lar misunderstandin' to me. It sounds like he assumed that you wouldn't share anythin' you learned through your abilities with anyone else and you assumed that your husband would be exempt from that if need be. You both might've considered askin', but that's not helpin' now."

He stared out at the water again. "It'll take a lot to get Nny's trust back again. He doesn't give it out easily. I'm sure you apologized already, but I think you're gonna hafta show him that you won't tell any more of his secrets. And be honest with him if you think you need to and explain why. Maybe if you both understand exactly what to expect from each other, it'll help. No matter what, though, it'll take time and you've gotta be patient."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded somberly, leaning gratefully into the hug, smiling a little that Adam had picked up that she and Stephen were married even though she hadn't said it--- she wasn't the only one who did that here, it seemed, and it made her feel better. "How do I... show him?" she asked softly. "Because I'm not even sure if I'll get a chance to do that."

"Oh," she added, "would you mind... not telling anyone that Stephen and I are married? It's kind of a secret for right now, until we actually have the public ceremony."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam thought for another moment. "I'd prob'ly send him an owl just to say I was doin' it and then leave him alone for a while. Once it becomes clear that you and the Professor haven't said anythin' to anybody, he might be more willin' to talk. What are you gonna do about Susan in the meantime?"

He smiled faintly. "I don't tell anybody anythin'. They're not my secrets to tell even if I sometimes can't help learnin' them. I'm not sayin' that you're doin' things the wrong way, but this is just the way I do it. And you know better than anyone what the consequences are if you don't keep people's secrets. It makes them scared and I don't want that to happen."

Adam shrugged. "But you make your own decisions. That's kinda the whole point."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded. "That's a good idea. Thank you." She laughed ruefully. "I told Stephen about Nny being mad at me for telling him, and he said that it was hardly a secret--- something he'd figured out on his own." She sighed. "Susan's nice. She makes a lot of sense. I don't know what I'll do if it comes to... that. I haven't been around Nny and Mr. Teatime since... it... happened, and I'm not sure they'll want to be around me, so there isn't much I can do, I suppose. And..." she looked at him obliquely. "I don't think I could have let Mr. Teatime kill her even before... this, if I'd been there when he tried. Stephen would have been so...." There weren't words for what Stephen would have been. "But I wouldn't have... done anything else." Meaning, spy for Stephen, or go on the offensive against Teatime in any way, so long as he and Nny were happy together. She remembered what she'd picked up from Teatime that day they had all gone flying--- how he regarded most people as experimental subjects. "Not as long as he wasn't... hurting... Nny, anyway."

She closed her eyes. "I try not to tell secrets that I know are secrets. Except that I don't have any secrets from Stephen and he doesn't keep them from me--- that's just... fairness. And most of the people I asked after... Nny... said that that was how they figured it, since he and I are... together, so that's not that... strange, I suppose." She glanced at him sideways. "And you answer people's thoughts too. I like that." She grinned, with just a hint of happy mischief, almost the first she'd shown in the conversation.

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

((My sincere apologies! It usually doesn't take me so long to reply to comments, I just got ZOMG busy at work randomly. :p Anyway...)

"You don't hafta worry about Susan," replied Adam cryptically. "No one's gonna be killin' anyone else at Hogwarts. I know there's protections at the school and stuff and I also know that some people are tryin' to figure out how to get around them, but no one can get around me."

He gave her a sidelong glance. "Seems kinda weird to not have any secrets from the Professor. It's okay to have some secrets, you know. Ones that smooth your relationship and give you a little privacy without leavin' him out of somethin' important. I know that when I was growin' up, one of my best friends would try out a new style of clothes or somethin', and if I'd said, 'Pep, that looks really stupid,' it would have hurt her feelin's and not helped anybody. So I kept it a secret and eventually she tried somethin' more suited to her. Just a thought."

Then Adam smiled back. "Yeah, I try not to, but when people are projectin' it's hard. Mostly no one seems to mind. It's usually real surface stuff anyway."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Oh, that's good." She grinned at him slightly. "That must be nice--- for no one to be able to get around you. Can I tell Stephen--- that Susan's safe, I mean? I think he'll feel better."

"Well, he doesn't really have any secrets from me--- can't, I mean. With the... reading. So it's only... fair."

She grinned. "That's good. And nice to know that it doesn't bother most people here. And I know exactly what you mean about how hard it is not to pick things up when people are projecting. Nice to know I'm not alone in that."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I dunno if it's nice," shrugged Adam. "It's certainly convenient. But you're welcome to tell Stephen that Susan is perfectly safe if you like. I expect it'll make him feel better even if it makes him nervous about me."

He smiled. "It's nice to be able to share stuff like this with someone who really understands. I mean, you can try to explain all you like, but unless the other person can do it, too, they'll never really know what it's like."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Convenient. You're right. That's a better word. And thank you for the permission."

She grinned, more than a little relieved. "Exactly. You have to... be there... to really understand how it is."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"No problem. And yeah, it makes us a little bit of an outcast, but there's nothin' we can do about it so we might as well accept it, right?"

Adam hugged his knees tightly to his chest. "It's gettin' a little cold just sittin' out here. Do you wanna walk around or just head in?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Exactly. I'm... used to being... unusual, anyway." She smiled ruefully. "Bet you are, too."

She shrugged. "I wouldn't mind walking, if you want to. I mean, I don't have anything else that needs talking about, but there's no reason we can't just... talk, is there?"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I am now," he replied. "But for ten years I was the most normal kid ever. Which is prob'ly pretty unusual now that I come to think about it."

Adam stood and gallantly offered his hand to help River up. "Sorry. I'm just not real good with sittin' still. But no, there's no reason at all why we can't just walk and talk. What else would you like to talk about?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River laughed. "You're right--- maybe normal is the most unusual thing of all."

She accepted his hand and slipped down from the rock--- not quite making a dance out of it, but close. "I don't mind; I like to move around too." She thought a moment. "We could talk about flying. I haven't been in... a while."

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

"I went with Charlie Pace a few days ago. Have you met him? A Gryffindor. One of the guys from that island. He's real nice."

Adam looked up, squinting into the setting sun.

"You know, I think that flyin' with someone who's new to it is even more fun than goin' with people who are good at it already. 'Cause it's like you're doin' it for the first time again, too."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Charlie Pace? I haven't met him. I'm glad he's nice, though. And I've never flown with someone else who'd never flown." She grinned suddenly. "Maybe I should try to get Stephen to come flying with me!"

[average-adam.livejournal.com]

Adam's face lit up as he beamed. "You should! I bet he'd be real good at it. And it's so excitin' to see their faces when they finally understand how to do it. I could come along, if you like, just to make sure no one gets hurt."