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[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

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1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like any kind of cheese that hasn't been played with too much by rats, but Parmesan's my favorite. It tastes good and it doesn't go bad after a few weeks at sea.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Carrottop. Giant lizards, purple or otherwise, have nothing on the destructive power of unkempt evil men with reddish hair, as I unfortunately know from personal experience.

3. What time is it where you are?
Two bells in the second dog watch, navy time.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sexual harassment is Not My Thing, but I would definitely further my acquaintance with Miss Tonks if she was agreeable. She seems fun.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I have considerable experience with late 18th century explosives, artillery and the workings of a square-rigged sailing ship, I know basic first aid, and I'm a pretty good shot. I can also speak Spanish, recite Shakespeare from memory, and convince certain overly conscientious melancholic naval heroes to lighten up every once in a while.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

I know the real story of what happened to Captain Sawyer when he fell, and a lot of other naval gossip the admiralty would rather not have spread around. I can't make much use of it myself since I confessed to mutiny a while ago and would rather not attract any official attention, but any of you could write a scandalous tell-all book about it and become fabulously wealthy that way. It would serve Hammond right. If theatre's more your thing, I can get you tickets to anything playing on Drury Lane.

Comments

[theladyinshadow.livejournal.com]

Drury Lane? As in...the lane the muffin man lives on? *incredulous look*

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

I believe so, ma'am, although I was more interested in the plays.

[theladyinshadow.livejournal.com]

Just verifying.


Either a Lion or a Snake.

I'd almost say Slytherin simply because of your cheese choice, but I'm not sure.

Tell me. Did you just confess to mutiny? Or did you actually commit mutiny? Why you confessed/commited mutiny would be useful too.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Our captain met with an accident, but the tribunal seemed determined to find a scapegoat. (Although I don't know why they couldn't just have kept the whole matter quiet, if all they cared about was preserving Sawyer's reputation.) Hammond wanted Horatio's blood, and Horatio would have confessed and got himself hanged (I'm never known a man with less sense of self-preservation). Horatio and I ... well, we've been through a lot together, and I couldn't let him be killed like that. I believed myself to be dying, so I confessed to the whole mess. Best thing for everybody, under the circumstances - it wasn't like I had any great reputation to lose.

[theladyinshadow.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Really? I never thought of myself as particularly brave or noble - that was always Horatio's territory.

[sharpest-pike.livejournal.com]

Very calculating, really. Slytherin or Ravenclaw... hmm.

[lucifer-tiamat.livejournal.com]

Definitely a Gryffindor. No Slytherin would take the blame for something he/she didn't do.

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

...parmesan is Slytherin? What, is it sold with a snake on it or something?

[theladyinshadow.livejournal.com]

It seems to be the official cheese of Slytherins.

[conriocht.livejournal.com]

A number of applicants seem to fancy Tonks. *feels smug* Your knowledge of things esoteric points to Ravenclaw, but you also say you're a mutineer, which seems more like Gryffindor or even Slytherin. Would you mind telling us more about the mutiny?

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Our captain was, to put it bluntly, going mad. He suspected his officers of plotting against him, punished us for nonexistent offences, got the crew drunk in the middle of the morning, and almost got us all blown to bits. We (the lieutenants) eventually decided that we'd need to have the captain declared unfit to command. Before we came to any decision on the matter, the captain met with an accident that knocked him out for a while, and after he woke up he was less functional than ever until the escaped Spanish prisoners killed him.

When our mission was finished, there was an inquiry, and some damned fool apparently decided that the truth would unacceptably damage Captain Sawyer's reputation and that of the navy as a whole, so it was necessary to find a mutineer scapegoat. (No, it doesn't make sense to me either.)

[conriocht.livejournal.com]

Standing up to a mad captain takes a considerable amount of nerve. And the fact that you were a scapegoat makes me think of Sirius.

Gryffindor, definitely.

[csi-sara.livejournal.com]

Your bribe is gossip? Gossip?! I guess Hufflepuff's okay for you. You have nice eyes.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

I figured someone might be interested, considering how paranoid Captain Hammond and co. were about its potential implications. And besides, being a dead mutineer doesn't pay very well - one has to be creative.

Your eyes aren't so bad themselves, ma'am.

[originalcatgirl.livejournal.com]

Hufflepuff.

British Navy mens pretty! ^____^

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Er... thank you, miss.

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor. I might be interested in those theatre tickets. I spent a number of years posing as an out of work actor and I wouldn't mind actually seeing a few of the plays I carried around the scripts to for so long.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! Do you like Shakespeare?

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

Of course, what sentient being doesn't? Hamlet has always been a particular favorite of mine, ever since that imporbability jump when I encountered an infinite number of monkeys who worked out a new script for it. I'm not sure I agreed with the way they completely cut Fortinbras out, but the addition of a running gag involving a pair of sword fighting idiots and a depressed gorilla was actually quite clever...

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Sailor? Gryffindor. Even though your bribe is useless.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Out of curiousity, what's so very Gryffindorish about the navy?

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

It takes a brave and hearty man to trust his safety to the sea.

[kayewinnet.livejournal.com]

I think I'll agree with the consensus and vote you for Gryffindor.

I wonder if your ship is anything like ours...

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Probably not very, all the ones I've been on had sails and no engines. What is yours like, anyway?

[kayewinnet.livejournal.com]

Engines and no sails.

*grins*

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

So, something like a really advanced steam engine?

[kayewinnet.livejournal.com]

well, it's sorta like that? The engine doesn't run on coal but the principle's the same.

It's be neat if you could see it. I have some pictures I can show you but it ain't like really being there.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Well, well, Lt. Kennedy! A dashing young man of the navy here at last. You have many useful skills, but don't you think you're a bit too adventurous to be a Hufflepuff?

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

Is it true that all navy people are gay? If so, do you always have to sing that song by the Village People? If so, feel free to start singing.

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

Actually, Horatio can be rather melancholic at points, and there are always a few resentful pressed men or other malcontents - gaiety is far from universal. And what song are you talking about? Heart of Oak?

[lil-tom-riddle.livejournal.com]

The song is 'In the Navy'. I don't know anything about oak songs. Seems pointless to sing about a tree while you're sailing seeing as how you don't see trees in the ocean.

Do you ever get angry?

[4th-lt-crumpet.livejournal.com]

I prefer action to sitting idle collecting mildew, yes, but I don't think I've ever been a dashing hero in all my life.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you simply haven't had the opportunity to be a hero. You certainly are dashing. At least, the ladies here seem to think so. And if I weren't a hat I would too. I really do believe you belong in Gryffindor.

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!