The Application of Chairman Trevor Goodchild

[trevor-goodchld.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

I would have to say brie - it's soft, pliable, and melts on the tongue. It's also known as the Queen of the Cheeses, which holds some appeal as well.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

The Barney creature does pique my scientific curiosity - I might kill him for the purposes of dissecting him. And while, as a leader, I abhor the necessity of capital punishment, it is clearly called for in the case of Carrottop, since such an individual hardly has a place in a perfect society. His presence might poison the populace.

3. What time is it where you are?

Time…what is time, exactly? It can mean so many things. Do you mean time as in a nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future? I'm not sure such a thing really exists, or if it does, I don't think I'd care to be a part of it. Perhaps I'll invent a device to rise above such tyranny… It bares further research, at any rate.

Or perhaps you mean time as in suitable or opportune moment or season. If that is the case, then my answer is simple: it is time to murder and create. We must murder our old forms and create the world anew. Time is in our minds, and the time for me is NOW.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

The Tonks woman is fascinating: her form changes with a thought, so the very fact of her is a fiction. As a leader, I'm sure Dumbledore would want to get closer to such an individual. To further understand how such a talent might be used to further his cause, of course. Not to mention the…stimulating possibilities such an ability might present.

Although Dumbledore might also consider turning his affections to the werewolf Lupin. A little soothing attention might prevent any unfortunate tendencies he might have to lose control of his more bestial nature…although that might not be a bad thing. And I've always found para-humans to be very attractive. There's something about truly giving in to one's bestial urges that helps one rise above them in the end. Incidentally, do any of you happen to be part bird? If so, I'd be interested in scheduling a rendez-vous…

Mad-Eye Moody is another interesting one. That eye is so hypnotic. I've had some experience with ocular erotics and would not mind repeating the experience.

And do former Order members count? If so, it might also prove advantageous to slip into Severus Snape's bed; an individual with such sleek dark hair and maddeningly ambiguous loyalties would surely prove to be irresistible to anyone…although I'll admit that that particular preference might be more of a reflection of my personal tastes than that of what I imagine Dumbledore's to be. Actually, were I Dumbledore, I'd probably stay far away from that one. Such persons tend to ultimately be the chink in an otherwise strong leader's armor.

Actually, I think I'd sexually harass them all. A leader should be interested in creation of all sorts: procreation, recreation…

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Do you really think I have time to muck about in a bar?! The well-being of an entire nation rests on my shoulders, not to mention that the fate of humanity depends on me to properly direct it! I am a slave to my ultimate responsibility, to provide the world with what it most sorely needs: Leadership! Change! Progress! And here you are asking me about bars. Your lack of vision would be laughable if it were not so dangerous.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

As the dictator Chairman of the state of Bregna, I have many, many resources at my disposal. So what will it be: puppet strings, purse strings..? Ask, and it's yours. Just no heads on plates, please.

Curriculum Vitae for Mr Butlertron

[butlertron.livejournal.com]

I would like to apply for the position of Assistant Principal and Student Councillors, please.

( CV for Mr B )

Numerous and Momentous Announcements!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

First, please welcome our most recently sorted members!

( current membership )

Next, we have two open applications at present:

( Open Applications )

Staff Appointments

The following Staff Appointments were made yesterday evening:

Albus Dumbledore has been appointed by the Board of Governors to the position of Charms Professor. He will continue to be addressed as Professor Dumbledore.. He will teach such Charms classes as he wishes, may give and take house points and may give students detentions.

Severus Snape has been appointed by the Board of Governors to the position of Potions Professor. He will continue to be addressed as Professor Snape. He will teach such Potions classes as he wishes, may give and take house points and may give students detentions.

Fenrir Greyback has been appointed by the Board of Governors to the position of Care of Magical Creatures Professor. He may be addressed as Professor Greyback henceforth.. He will teach such Care of Magical Creatures classes as he wishes, may give and take house points and may give students detentions.

Further, Neil Pye has been appointed Gameskeeper and Keeper of the Keys. He will provide the house elves with fresh game for the kitchen, keep the grounds generally in good order, oversee the Dark Forest, and occasionally assist Argus Filch in maintaining the Castle, in general. He may also assist Professor Greyback with the magical creatures. From time to time, students serving detentions may be assigned to assist him in his more onerous duties. In keeping with Hogwarts tradition, he shall also meet all first year students (applicants) at Hogsmeade Station and escort them to the school proper across the lake.

For your further information, I enclose a

( Complete Staff Directory )

As this set of announcements is running a bit long, we will merely direct your attention to the ongoing Prefect Elections, and the poll concerning spells used to create the Chatroom of Requirement.