Application for Clyde Langer, THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

Stepping through a doorway and finding himself somewhere totally unexpected was... well, not entirely outside of his experience. Out of the ordinary, maybe, but not his ordinary.
Still, being alone in an unfamiliar place was unsettling, and as he set to examine the room, he hoped that his friends were just out of sight. "Rani? Sarah Jane?" He'd been with them just moments ago, hadn't he? "Luke?" And, a long shot, but possible: "Maria?"
And since he was suddenly in a place that wasn't merely unfamiliar but that somehow felt strange, "Doctor? Is this one of your... things?"



State your full name.

"That's a bit blunt, isn't it?" Seeing the quill lift and write of its own accord made him grin, though. "All right, that's wicked. Do they do your handwriting too? Only I don't think you'll be able to read mine if it does." Shaking his head, he remembered the question at hand. "Lord Clyde Langer. Well, only sort-of Lord, I guess. I'm not sure how many planets it counts on."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Er, what?" That was a sudden change for the culinary. "Depends what it's for. Gruyere is good, I like gruyere." Oh yeah, the second part of the question. "It's good for melting."


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Would I what?" That was offensive, although in a weird way he couldn't help be flattered. The quiz seemed to think he was a tough guy. "I don't... I mean, I've never..." Never? his conscience insinuated, and he frowned. "I wouldn't kill anyone unless I had to. Like, to save lives and stuff."

3. What time is it where you are?

Well, there was a quick change. He looked at his watch: a blank face. Battery must be dead. "Late afternoon? After school, at least."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"Oh, come on!" He turned his face away from the paper in disgust. "I don't know who you are, but if your idea of an introduction is to ask me about zombies molesting people, well, you should go to charm school."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"How about The Plastic Tumbler? Be a lot of broken glass to sweep up otherwise."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Wait, is this like one of those word problems, where you have to figure out when one train meets up with the other? ...only with... engagements and mythology. Right, that is weird. I have seen weird, and that question is just weird."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

He snickered at that; Luke was the smart one. But Clyde was clever enough. "Weeee-eeeell... If you spill a pot of coffee on it, you can say you did it, and ask for new copies. It won't get you out of it, but it can buy you a couple of days." It had worked for the occasional homework assignment.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"I'm not what?" He glared indignantly. Useless, with all he'd done, all he intended to do? Not that he was supposed to talk about his adventures with his friends; that never seemed to end well. "If you think I'm useless - whoever you are - what good are you? So far all you've done is ask rude little questions. I don't know if it works on other people, but I'm not impressed."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Oh, come on!" He threw his hands up in disgust. "If you want a watch that doesn't work, you can have that. If you're so keen on cheese, I could make you an omelet or something. Or draw something, but I'm not going to draw anyone getting harassed or two blokes on their wedding night, you get me?


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______CL______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____CL______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______CL_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____CL________"

Comments

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory smiled, extending a hand. "That counts as an interesting story, really. Good to meet you then, Lord Clyde. I'm Rory."

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

Being called by his title unironically by what appeared to be a Responsible Adult made Clyde unconsciously stand straighter, and he gave Rory's hand a firm shake. "If Luke and Sarah Jane had been there we would have figured it out a lot quicker, I'm sure. Not the stickiest situation we've been in by a long shot." He lowered his voice. "Most of the time I'm more backup, really."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Well, nothing wrong with being backup," Rory said, his tone sympathetic - been there, mate. "Someone's got to be, right?"

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Someone's got to catch their mistakes, right?" He grinned, a touch conspiratorially this time. "Sometimes it's not how clever you are, it's the way you think."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory grinned back. "Exactly. Seeing something no one else has paid attention to, one way backup's important. Like people who should be coma patients out walking their dogs. For example." He was still fairly proud of that one.

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"I bet that looked peculiar." Thankfully, Clyde hadn't had to keep vigil over a coma patient. "Was it a really big dog?"

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Nah - well, fairly big, but this bloke looked perfectly normal. Except I'm a nurse, I'd seen him that morning, and he was still in a coma when I checked on him again. Turned out what I'd seen was a shapeshifter."

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Shapeshifter, like something that could change its own shape, or shapeshifter, like it stole other peoples' bodies?" He couldn't help a faint shudder, remembering the Slitheen and Androvax.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Change its own shape. But that's what was putting people in comas in the first place. It'd knock them out so it could copy their dreams."

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"So they'd dream something and this shapeshifter would be the dream in the real world?" Clyde guessed this particular creature avoided teenage boys. "Yeah, not a combo I've run into. Don't think I could have figured it out by myself."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Well, the Doctor was the one who worked it out. 'Cause that was the first time I met him. He and Amy were already looking for this shapeshifter, Prisoner Zero, and apparently he noticed me taking pictures of a bloke with a dog while everyone else was looking at the Atraxi. Er, have you met them?"

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Atraxi? No, not them. Bossy, are they?" The Judoon certainly had been.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"You could say that. They were threatening to 'incinerate the human residence' unless Prisoner Zero gave itself up. Which - by residence, turned out to mean 'planet'."

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

He whistled. "Yeah, that's even worse than the Judoon. Of course, he was after Androvax. That guy was creepy."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"What did he do?" It was nice to be swapping stories like this with someone who wasn't a mad alien of any description, for once...

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Androvax? He destroyed a dozen planets. And tried to destroy Earth... well, tried twice, sort of, but the second time it would have been a side-effect."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

This time Rory gave a low whistle. "Do I want to know what has 'destroying the Earth' as a side effect?"

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Breaking a ship out of this weird vault where it was being stored. The vault's bigger on the inside... guess you already know about that sort of thing, but this was sort of a hangar for crashed spaceships. One of them had the last surviving members of Androvax's species on it, in some sort of cryogenic stasis."

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"...wow." That wasn't exactly the kind of thing he'd been expecting. "So what - happened to them, in the end?"

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"One of the androids guarding the vault gave some of his battery power to transmat the Veil ship into open space. Haven't heard back from them." And hopefully never would.