[identity profile] junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
After the raw emotions of that afternoon Bobby was grateful for Death for her suggesion that he and the  boys spend some time together. He had missed spending time with them, and now that Dean was liberated from that bizzare-as-hell reality show, they certainly had cause to celebrate.

He arrived over in Ravenclaw’s bar first and found a comfortable corner table. It was one the hunters had taken over regularly during their outings to the bar. A tray full of cold beer was waiting for Sam, Dean and Castiel to arrive.

“Hey Bobby,” Sam said with a grin, the first to show. He clapped the hunter on the shoulder, happy to see him out again. He also had a few causes to celebrate; Death’s promise to intervene and keep him and Adam out of the cage, and a lovely blonde girl by the name of Sookie Stackhouse. “Where’s everyone else?”

“You know you brother, he’s always runnin a little late,” he said with a grin, passing a beer over to the younger man. “You seem pretty chipper lately.”

His grin widened. “I’ve had good reason to be.”

“Cryptic ass.”

Date: 2011-03-12 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerdofthelord.livejournal.com
Castiel went very still at their exchange, wondering if some agent of fate had arranged for that topic to finally come up at this particular moment. If he couldn't admit to what he had done right now, thoroughly plastered with a gut full of enchanted courage, he'd have no hope of ever confessing when he was sober. So it had better be now. He'd be damned if he would take it to his grave a third time.

Meticulously peeling the label from his beer bottle, he said in an undertone so low it hardly carried to their ears, enunciating each word with elaborate care, "I know who did that."

He swallowed, struggling to just bring it out and have done, but the simplest words somehow eluded him. I did it. It was me. I let him out. So he resorted to a more oblique reference that he knew without a doubt Dean would understand, and threw in another painful admission while he was at it; one he knew they'd already heard, but not from him, and not the full story. "The same spineless, soulless son of a bitch who turned Anna in when she came to berate him for it."
Edited Date: 2011-03-12 08:09 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-12 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com
"Hell no, damn Sammy, you think I'd..." Then Dean stopped, he heard the first undertone from Cas. The angel knew who did it and hadn't told him "What the hell Cas, you should have told.." And for the second time in as many seconds he was cut off.

Baffled was one to describe his expression, then hurt, betrayed, which in Dean Winchester took only seconds to manifest itself in to anger, because that was one emotion he was good at expressing. "You..." it was low at first, of every one he had possibly thought it could be, Dean had never considered it being Cas, not once had he suspected the angel.

"You did it?! You let him out, why cause your bosses told you to? Huh? How long, Cas, how long did you plan on dickin' me around and hidin' that from me?" He was out of his chair, unsteady on his feet so that when he rose the chair crashed to the ground and the beer bottle near his hand was sent to crash to the floor "Of every one...I never thought it would be you."

Date: 2011-03-13 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hunter-returns.livejournal.com
Sam turned at Cas’s quiet words, his surprise cutting through the haze. Cas? But he was their friend. Granted while he was under the influence of his addition to demon blood, Sam hadn’t earned the right to call anyone friend; but he really thought Cas had been on their side that summer. He turned to the angel with wide and somewhat confused eyes. “You? But .. Cas.. why? It started the Apocalypse..”

There was some kind of connection he needed to be making, but his alcohol infused brain stubbornly refused to cooperate. He was still sitting there, staring at Castiel in open confusion when Dean wobbled to his feet. The chair hitting the ground sounded like a gunshot and Sam was on his feet a second later, looking between his angry brother and Castiel, who hadn’t moved.

Sam knew firsthand how Dean’s anger tended to flare up before eventually petering out and he wasn’t sure how much of that Cas was prepared for. The angel was drunk and probably more than a little vulnerable to what Dean might say. He angled himself between the two, ready to intervene if need be.

Date: 2011-03-13 07:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerdofthelord.livejournal.com
Castiel flinched in the face of Dean's anger, and set the bottle down on the table with a quiet thunk. "I was under orders, yes. I hadn't yet...been shamed into disobeying."

He couldn't look at either of them. "The ways that Heaven has of inflicting pain...there are no words in any human language," he said tonelessly. "Zachariah never scrupled at employing any of them. But that wasn't what..." He rubbed at his face, wishing he could erase these memories so he'd neither have to relive nor recount them. He'd returned from that 're-education' broken in more than one sense, and nothing that had followed had made things any easier.

"It wasn't how he--broke me. I'd already decided to cast my lot with you and he knew it. So he--he held Jimmy and his family over my head." His mouth thinned into a bitter line. "Made me listen as the man begged me to keep my promise. To protect the people he loved. Zachariah wouldn't free me to answer. He would have left them all to the demons if I hadn't sworn to obey."

Dean had broken the first seal, and Sam the last, with no clear idea what they were really doing. Cas had understood all too well the consequences of his actions, and he'd not only withheld an important truth from them, he'd allowed them both to believe all this time that their culpability for Lucifer's release was greater than it was. He was just as much to blame.

"I preserved my vessel and his family and kept my word, in exchange for...everything else. Maybe it wasn't technically a Seal, but for practical purposes, it might just as well have been number sixty-five and a half." The sixty-sixth could not have been broken if not for his act of treachery.

They both had every good reason to be angry. He wasn't even trying to defend himself; only to give them the whole truth at last, so he could stop feeling that he'd been taken into their family under false pretenses.

"I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I was ashamed, and afraid," he concluded, voice hollow. The thought of what Dean would say to all this was terrifying, but there was also a certain relief. Whatever happened now, at least his conscience was finally clear. "I need a bigger word than 'sorry' and...I haven't got one."

Date: 2011-03-14 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com
Dean listened, they weren't excuses and he knew that and even from the moment his anger started he knew he was going to forgive Cas, family was earned and Castiel had more than earned his place and the forgiveness that came with it. But like any family, they could down right piss you off, they weren't made to always make you happy, they could make you down right miserable. So Dean reacted with the first emotion, the betrayal and anger, not the understanding that was underneath it all.

"Damn right sorry ain't gonna cut. " Dean drunkenly shoved Sam aside "Move it." He lunged for Cas, tackling the angel and sending both to the ground as his feet hit the table and upended it, causing the lunging Sam to be knocked backwards on to his behind before he could stop his brother who had every intention of landing a solid one to the angel's jaw, even if it was only going to hurt his hand.

Unfortunately alcohol and football tackles do not go hand in hand for a reason and Dean soon learned as he and Cas rolled and the hunter's head cracked in to the angel's "Son of a bitch" Dean groaned as he rolled off the angel and flopped on to his back on the ground. That had backfired in more ways than one as Dean lay there with the world spinning from the knock to the head, the firewhiskey in his system just amplifying the effect.

"You got a hard head you bastard."

Date: 2011-03-14 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hunter-returns.livejournal.com
Well that sure explained why Jimmy hated them so much.

Sam felt vaguely sick and he was sure that it didn’t have as much to do with his overdoing it as it did with what Castiel just confessed to them both. He saw what Dean intended to do, and if his reflexes hadn’t been dulled by a night of heavy boozing, he might have been able to prevent what happened next. Dean’s shove sent him wildly off balance and he crashed to the floor. The upended table sent bottles raining everywhere, the empty ones shattering all around him.

He struggled to his feet, glass in his hair and a few small shards stuck in his palms, but he ignored the sting. This shouldn’t be happening. They were family for God’s sake. “Dean!”

Date: 2011-03-14 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerdofthelord.livejournal.com
Anger he had expected, maybe even some sort of physical attack, but not a full-fledged body tackle. Ordinarily Cas would see such a move coming a mile away and either dodge or set himself up to roll with it so that Dean wouldn't be hurt. Surprise and impaired reflexes prevented it this time, and they collided hard enough that it actually hurt him slightly as well.

"I'm sorry," he said automatically, staggering upright to brace himself against a nearby wall. "I--" He bent slightly, grimacing and involuntarily bringing a hand to his head. Too much dubious liquor and an inherently sickening conversation, thoroughly shaken up by the tumble and the head-crack, caught up with him suddenly and violently, and his stomach made known its displeasure in no uncertain terms.

"Dean, I'm sorry," he repeated miserably, and winked out to the nearest lavatory before all that firewhiskey came right back up onto the glass-strewn floor.

Date: 2011-03-15 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com
Dean rolled over with a groan, on his hands and knees the hunter looked as if he was about to hurl. The world was spinning, Cas had a hard head and all the liquor, mixed with his regular diet of greasy foods was enough to make his stomach roll more than once.

"Sorry...you..." The hunter turned his head, shock on his face "Damn it Cas! Don't you run off." He staggered to his feet and took one step forward to go look for the angel. Partly in anger, the other part in concern, neither of them melding very well in his drunken state.

As his foot hit the ground, Dean's body followed suit and the hunter ended up face flat on the ground, he was barely holding dinner down "I'm gonna... oh crap."

Dean didn't have zapping powers and the hunter just barely snagged a nearby potted plant and got rid of every thing in his stomach in a few seconds.

"Son of a bitch...." he turned, slumped, defeated as an arm draped over his upraised knees and his head hung.

"Cas...just never thought it would be Cas."

Date: 2011-03-15 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hunter-returns.livejournal.com
Sam managed to stumble over to his brother and attempt to heave him to his feet. He hadn't taken any severe falls and felt like he was at least marginally capable of hanging on to his dinner. For the moment, anyway. He half dragged, half carried Dean to the nearest couch and deposited him there. "'m gonna owl Death. She'll find Cas. You can talk to him in the morning."

It took a phenomenal amount of concentration to find some paper and a functioning quill, but Sam managed to scratch out a brief note. The prospect of going all the way to the owlry was a little too daunting in his state, so he simply called a house elf and asked them to deliver the note to her.

His message on the way, Sam staggered back to the other empty couch and promptly passed out on it.

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