DETHTOWER has arrived!
Dec. 31st, 2010 10:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
shoggies.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirrorAs the first day of the year dawns, crudely-lettered posters appear around the school. These posters contain almost nothing aside from their cryptic lettering.
It is a New Year for humans.
The Stars Are Right!
for
DETHTOWER
FOLLOW THE SIGNS
Enjoy DETHTOWER.
(The bottom of each sign contains an arrow, pointing in a direction that will lead to another sign, with another arrow, and so on, until reaching a large sign which now stands upon the school grounds.)
It had been promised many months ago. Certain elements of plan had changed- it was certainly not atop the tower of House Hufflepuff- but, nevertheless, it had now come into being. Stone by stone it had risen, its name given by Nathan Explosion, its construction hidden by the odd angle at which the architectural monstrosity was set in regards to normal, three-dimensional space.
Their initial idea had been relatively simple- a laser mounted atop Hufflepuff Tower. But then, the Shoggies had realized that they did not know how to build a laser- fortunately, Lezard came to their rescue with some blueprints. These blueprints, being filled with windmills and extra components as they were, necessitated a more complex idea than the original one. The Shoggies had used the blueprints as a foundation, building upon it with their own strange notions.
To say their results were strange would be an understatement. The structure is not obvious by a simple glance at the school grounds, only evidenced as something indescribably odd in the general vicinity of McGraw tower and T. Rex's quonset hut. But, if a student were to approach these structures, they would find a sign. A large sign is carved in stone, reading 'DETHTOWER IS HERE. STAND ON THE X AND LOOK THIS WAY.' There is a very large "X" carved into a flat piece of stone set into the ground before the sign, while the sign itself it marked with an arrow. A student choosing to stand on the "X" while facing in the direction of the arrow would see the path open up before them, leading into the interdimensional space in which the Shoggies had constructed the DETHTOWER. Incidentally, the Shoggies capitalized the entire name deliberately, insisting that each letter was as important as the one following or proceeding it.
A student choosing to follow this path, despite the glimpse it gives of the non-euclidean monstrosity that was the DETHTOWER, will soon find themselves standing before an absurdly huge, and utterly impossible structure. Another immense placard stands before it, containing metallic lettering laid within dark stone- the Shoggies had in fact created the lettering from meteorites given to them by Skwisgaar and Toki for Christmas. The sign reads, "DETHTOWER. YOU ARE WELCOME. BEWARE OF LASERS, WINDMILLS, BOTTOMLESS PITS, REALLY SHARP SPIKES, LOTS OF TRAPS, ACID LAKES, SHARP SLICEY STUFF, FALLING STUFF, MOVING SHADOWS, BYAKHEES, AND THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON."
The DETHTOWER itself illustrates the accuracy of the sign. It is indeed a tower- if a 'tower' can consist of countless towers, seemingly attached to some central bulk by angles that shouldn't have existed. The windmills, if they can truly be called such, are immense, insane things- the Shoggies have interpreted the blades of a windmill quite literally, and covered most of the building's impossible faces with these constructs. Metallic, shining, and sharp, each windmill's blades resemble those of a weapon, but greatly increased in size. Spinning swords, scythe-blades, axe-heads, all of these are represented amongst the array of whirling architectural accents. The lasers, which are mounted to various pivoting parts on the exterior, are abundant, and fixed in what appear to be entirely random locations. That the DETHTOWER is located within its own small pocket dimension within that of Hogwarts is the only reason why the grounds in its vicinity have not been entirely torched. The small area surrounding the DETHTOWER within its pocket dimension still has a few patches of vegetation, but, it doesn't seem likely that these will experience a long life. Luckily, the lasers do not shoot directly downward, and thus the huge covered entrance patio appears to be relatively safe.
This entrance to the DETHTOWER is located on ground level, yet approached by a broad flight of stairs. This is only the first architectural abnormality amongst many to be encountered by those who might choose to pass into the DETHTOWER's Escherian domain. The large metal doors bear yet another warning. "DETHTOWER IS NOT RESPONSIBLES FOR CAUSING INJURIES OR DEATH OR INSANITY. YOU WAIVE YOUR LIFE AND SANITY WHEN YOU ENTER DETHTOWER." These words (including the extra 's') had been contributed by Skwisgaar and Toki's 'eyesball throw-up children', Shoggies 3, 4.6, 10, and 18. Beneath these words is an etching of a Shoggy, with a 'word bubble' like etching over its head, reading "ASK US ABOUT A GUIDED TOUR! SEE THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON!" Mounted to the left of the doors is a large box, with a hole in the top, along with a sign reading, "DETHTOWER DONATIONS. WE WILL TAKE MONEY OR CHIKEN OR ANYTHING ELSE." To the right of the doors there is a large stand containing many identical pamphlets. The stand is enchanted to replicate these pamphlets, ensuring their constant availability.
These thick pamphlets are all labeled DETHTOWER!, and feature a much-less madness inducing image of the DETHTOWER on the front, made by Toki Wartooth (and signed as such in a corner). The original had been made of construction paper cut outs, and, the original pamphlets had been Xeroxed by him during a brief trip to Mordhaus for the purpose. The pamphlet's contents were typed out by a group of Shoggies at the school compy lab, and the print-outs had been cobbled together by Toki into some vaguely sensible format. The first page states "DETHTOWER IS EXCITEMENT. DETHTOWER IS WINDMILLS AND TREASURES. DETHTOWER IS FUN WITH SPACE AND TIME.", while the second consists of another life waiver. The third page is a Shoggy's attempt at mapping out the first floor of the DETHTOWER via ASCII characters- it is not at all informative. Several more pages follow in this fashion, all about as useless as the proceeding one.
The next pages detail several special features contained within the DETHTOWER, and several of these contain badly-taken, rather crooked photographs of the locations described. Amongst these are a "Forest of the Black Goat", whose accompanying photograph is severely tilted, and contains a multitude of Yule trees stuffed around an effigy vaguely reminiscent of Baphomet, but, much more alien. A Shoggy has ended up in the frame, dwarfed by one of the Yule trees, suggesting that the size of these items is in fact abnormally large. Something else is in the photograph as well, or part of something else. The identity of this ropey and inexplicable something is entirely unclear from the badly-focused photograph, but, the page does state, "Come to see the Black Goat's young! SOOO CUTE!"
Another image depicts what appears to be a hallway of indeterminate length. The floor is covered in what appears to be ice and packed snow. Only the foreground is at all in focus, and the walls can be seen to contain complex hieroglyphics and images, with Shoggies as a repetitive theme. A Shoggy in the foreground gives some idea of the hall's immensity, while a few man-sized albino penguins can be seen nearby. The text accompanying this image calls it "The Hall of Shoggy History, with penguins", and informs the reader, "We share our history with you! Then you can look at the penguins. We did not eat them all."
One small image depicts what appears to be nothing at all, or, any number of possible horrors in the complete absence of lighting. This place is titled, "The Room of Mysteries", and the text accompanying it asks, "Is it a Dhole? Is it a Grue? We don't know! Can you can find out what lives in the Room of Mysteries? (No lights are allowed. Shoggy will take them before you go in!)".
The next page contains a collage of various pictures, some showing boxes and chests with very questionable angles and geometry. "Treasures and Traps! Find them!" exhorts the text at the top, while several pictures depict what appear to be very unsafe contraptions involving blades and spikes, while others show pits full of acid or fire or apparent emptiness. Another small block of text indicates that, "Odds of finding a trap are better than finding a treasure. The treasures are sooo cool! Some treasures are cooler than others. There is a Necronomicon! Maybe there are two." A little Shoggy with a speech-bubble is drawn in the corner, saying, "One free treasure with guided tour!"
Yet another image depicts a huge, vaulted chamber, with far too many corners to be possible, containing a squid-headed effigy with a number of stone blocks, just the right size to contain a human sacrifice, positioned around the effigy's feet. Lettering comprising the word "FHTAGN" covers the front of raised pedestal containing the effigy. This location is labeled as "Temple of Great Master Cthulhoo", and suggests that visitors please bring a sacrifice if possible, or at least some sandwiches. At the bottom of the page, there is a small note in bold lettering. "SOME BYAKHEE GOT IN SO BE CAREFUL. Remember, we have guided tours!" Dark, unclear, fluttery shapes in the shadowy upper reaches of the image hint at what these byakhee might be.
The final image in the illustrated section depicts another wide area of blackness, with faint, somewhat off-centered glow, evidently being emitted by some sort of box on a pedestal. The pinkish lump of a Shoggy is barely noticeable at the edge of the light, and its size in comparison with the pedestal suggests that it is of perfectly normal size. This room is evidently a favorite of its creators, with its lettering taking up two pages of the pamphlet, and calling it "THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON! The Heart of DETHTOWER. See EVERYTHING. IA NYARLY! IA 'ZATOTH! Don't forget your flashlight!" This page includes a repetition of the life and sanity waiver, as well as a little drawing of a Shoggy containing a speech bubble which says, "If you want to see the Shining Trapezohedron, remember to ask for the guided tour! Shining Trapezohedron is only for the Guided Tour! There are magic lights but we will provide more lights."
Another page lists a series of bullet points detailing other features of the structure, such as:
- Enjoy sooo many hallways!
- Crazy stairs room bends human notions of space and gravity!
- DETHTOWER power core! Sooo green and glowy. Might mutate humans. We don't know!
- Make your own Cthulhoo icon in the crafts-room!
- Have sandwiches! There is a sandwich-and-hats-table in the entrance hall.
Next to the stand containing these detailed pamphlets, a small kiosk has been erected, manned by several Shoggies. (The Shoggies have agreed amongst themselves to rotate operation of this kiosk.) This kiosk is clearly labeled, "GUIDED TOURS! 3 galleons. 1 galleon discount for cultists!"
((The DETHTOWER is of course entirely unsafe, but still under the usual Hogwarts no-death enchantment. A Shoggy will be happy to take a character to a desired area if asked nicely and paid for the Guided Tour. Feel free to handwave this if you don't want to bother actually threading with the Shoggies. Likewise, if a character gets lost in the DETHTOWER, there are many lurking Shoggies, and one will take them out of the maze if asked and treated nicely. Without the Guided Tour, the place is impossible huge, disobeys the known laws of space, physics, and time, is filled with random Lovecraftian monsters & traps, and is pretty much incomprehensible, maddening, etc. Your basic Lovecraftian Funhouse. =D It's still maddening with the Guided Tour, but, the Shoggies at least know where it's safe to walk. Good times!
The Shining Trapezohedron does have a couple of specific effects, but magical lighting + Shoggies with flashlights assure that it will only serve as a maddening window into all space and time. The Shoggies asked Lezard to help them with putting just about every anti-theft charm possible on the Shining Trapezohedron, and also keep a constant watch on it. The treasure chests scattered around the DETHTOWER contain either various Lovecraftian effigies/artifacts/books, or more frequently, shiny junk the Shoggies thought was good for a treasure, and these are not under enchantment. Anything 'good' is behind at least one or more traps, and probably some byakhee or generic tentacle monsters of the mindless, tentacle-only variety. The Shoggies aren't much concerned about these, having accidentally infested the place with far more than they intended, but, they insist that the Black Goat's spawn and the giant albino penguins be left alone as part of the 'exhibits'. =D ))
It is a New Year for humans.
The Stars Are Right!
for
DETHTOWER
FOLLOW THE SIGNS
Enjoy DETHTOWER.
(The bottom of each sign contains an arrow, pointing in a direction that will lead to another sign, with another arrow, and so on, until reaching a large sign which now stands upon the school grounds.)
It had been promised many months ago. Certain elements of plan had changed- it was certainly not atop the tower of House Hufflepuff- but, nevertheless, it had now come into being. Stone by stone it had risen, its name given by Nathan Explosion, its construction hidden by the odd angle at which the architectural monstrosity was set in regards to normal, three-dimensional space.
Their initial idea had been relatively simple- a laser mounted atop Hufflepuff Tower. But then, the Shoggies had realized that they did not know how to build a laser- fortunately, Lezard came to their rescue with some blueprints. These blueprints, being filled with windmills and extra components as they were, necessitated a more complex idea than the original one. The Shoggies had used the blueprints as a foundation, building upon it with their own strange notions.
To say their results were strange would be an understatement. The structure is not obvious by a simple glance at the school grounds, only evidenced as something indescribably odd in the general vicinity of McGraw tower and T. Rex's quonset hut. But, if a student were to approach these structures, they would find a sign. A large sign is carved in stone, reading 'DETHTOWER IS HERE. STAND ON THE X AND LOOK THIS WAY.' There is a very large "X" carved into a flat piece of stone set into the ground before the sign, while the sign itself it marked with an arrow. A student choosing to stand on the "X" while facing in the direction of the arrow would see the path open up before them, leading into the interdimensional space in which the Shoggies had constructed the DETHTOWER. Incidentally, the Shoggies capitalized the entire name deliberately, insisting that each letter was as important as the one following or proceeding it.
A student choosing to follow this path, despite the glimpse it gives of the non-euclidean monstrosity that was the DETHTOWER, will soon find themselves standing before an absurdly huge, and utterly impossible structure. Another immense placard stands before it, containing metallic lettering laid within dark stone- the Shoggies had in fact created the lettering from meteorites given to them by Skwisgaar and Toki for Christmas. The sign reads, "DETHTOWER. YOU ARE WELCOME. BEWARE OF LASERS, WINDMILLS, BOTTOMLESS PITS, REALLY SHARP SPIKES, LOTS OF TRAPS, ACID LAKES, SHARP SLICEY STUFF, FALLING STUFF, MOVING SHADOWS, BYAKHEES, AND THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON."
The DETHTOWER itself illustrates the accuracy of the sign. It is indeed a tower- if a 'tower' can consist of countless towers, seemingly attached to some central bulk by angles that shouldn't have existed. The windmills, if they can truly be called such, are immense, insane things- the Shoggies have interpreted the blades of a windmill quite literally, and covered most of the building's impossible faces with these constructs. Metallic, shining, and sharp, each windmill's blades resemble those of a weapon, but greatly increased in size. Spinning swords, scythe-blades, axe-heads, all of these are represented amongst the array of whirling architectural accents. The lasers, which are mounted to various pivoting parts on the exterior, are abundant, and fixed in what appear to be entirely random locations. That the DETHTOWER is located within its own small pocket dimension within that of Hogwarts is the only reason why the grounds in its vicinity have not been entirely torched. The small area surrounding the DETHTOWER within its pocket dimension still has a few patches of vegetation, but, it doesn't seem likely that these will experience a long life. Luckily, the lasers do not shoot directly downward, and thus the huge covered entrance patio appears to be relatively safe.
This entrance to the DETHTOWER is located on ground level, yet approached by a broad flight of stairs. This is only the first architectural abnormality amongst many to be encountered by those who might choose to pass into the DETHTOWER's Escherian domain. The large metal doors bear yet another warning. "DETHTOWER IS NOT RESPONSIBLES FOR CAUSING INJURIES OR DEATH OR INSANITY. YOU WAIVE YOUR LIFE AND SANITY WHEN YOU ENTER DETHTOWER." These words (including the extra 's') had been contributed by Skwisgaar and Toki's 'eyesball throw-up children', Shoggies 3, 4.6, 10, and 18. Beneath these words is an etching of a Shoggy, with a 'word bubble' like etching over its head, reading "ASK US ABOUT A GUIDED TOUR! SEE THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON!" Mounted to the left of the doors is a large box, with a hole in the top, along with a sign reading, "DETHTOWER DONATIONS. WE WILL TAKE MONEY OR CHIKEN OR ANYTHING ELSE." To the right of the doors there is a large stand containing many identical pamphlets. The stand is enchanted to replicate these pamphlets, ensuring their constant availability.
These thick pamphlets are all labeled DETHTOWER!, and feature a much-less madness inducing image of the DETHTOWER on the front, made by Toki Wartooth (and signed as such in a corner). The original had been made of construction paper cut outs, and, the original pamphlets had been Xeroxed by him during a brief trip to Mordhaus for the purpose. The pamphlet's contents were typed out by a group of Shoggies at the school compy lab, and the print-outs had been cobbled together by Toki into some vaguely sensible format. The first page states "DETHTOWER IS EXCITEMENT. DETHTOWER IS WINDMILLS AND TREASURES. DETHTOWER IS FUN WITH SPACE AND TIME.", while the second consists of another life waiver. The third page is a Shoggy's attempt at mapping out the first floor of the DETHTOWER via ASCII characters- it is not at all informative. Several more pages follow in this fashion, all about as useless as the proceeding one.
The next pages detail several special features contained within the DETHTOWER, and several of these contain badly-taken, rather crooked photographs of the locations described. Amongst these are a "Forest of the Black Goat", whose accompanying photograph is severely tilted, and contains a multitude of Yule trees stuffed around an effigy vaguely reminiscent of Baphomet, but, much more alien. A Shoggy has ended up in the frame, dwarfed by one of the Yule trees, suggesting that the size of these items is in fact abnormally large. Something else is in the photograph as well, or part of something else. The identity of this ropey and inexplicable something is entirely unclear from the badly-focused photograph, but, the page does state, "Come to see the Black Goat's young! SOOO CUTE!"
Another image depicts what appears to be a hallway of indeterminate length. The floor is covered in what appears to be ice and packed snow. Only the foreground is at all in focus, and the walls can be seen to contain complex hieroglyphics and images, with Shoggies as a repetitive theme. A Shoggy in the foreground gives some idea of the hall's immensity, while a few man-sized albino penguins can be seen nearby. The text accompanying this image calls it "The Hall of Shoggy History, with penguins", and informs the reader, "We share our history with you! Then you can look at the penguins. We did not eat them all."
One small image depicts what appears to be nothing at all, or, any number of possible horrors in the complete absence of lighting. This place is titled, "The Room of Mysteries", and the text accompanying it asks, "Is it a Dhole? Is it a Grue? We don't know! Can you can find out what lives in the Room of Mysteries? (No lights are allowed. Shoggy will take them before you go in!)".
The next page contains a collage of various pictures, some showing boxes and chests with very questionable angles and geometry. "Treasures and Traps! Find them!" exhorts the text at the top, while several pictures depict what appear to be very unsafe contraptions involving blades and spikes, while others show pits full of acid or fire or apparent emptiness. Another small block of text indicates that, "Odds of finding a trap are better than finding a treasure. The treasures are sooo cool! Some treasures are cooler than others. There is a Necronomicon! Maybe there are two." A little Shoggy with a speech-bubble is drawn in the corner, saying, "One free treasure with guided tour!"
Yet another image depicts a huge, vaulted chamber, with far too many corners to be possible, containing a squid-headed effigy with a number of stone blocks, just the right size to contain a human sacrifice, positioned around the effigy's feet. Lettering comprising the word "FHTAGN" covers the front of raised pedestal containing the effigy. This location is labeled as "Temple of Great Master Cthulhoo", and suggests that visitors please bring a sacrifice if possible, or at least some sandwiches. At the bottom of the page, there is a small note in bold lettering. "SOME BYAKHEE GOT IN SO BE CAREFUL. Remember, we have guided tours!" Dark, unclear, fluttery shapes in the shadowy upper reaches of the image hint at what these byakhee might be.
The final image in the illustrated section depicts another wide area of blackness, with faint, somewhat off-centered glow, evidently being emitted by some sort of box on a pedestal. The pinkish lump of a Shoggy is barely noticeable at the edge of the light, and its size in comparison with the pedestal suggests that it is of perfectly normal size. This room is evidently a favorite of its creators, with its lettering taking up two pages of the pamphlet, and calling it "THE SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON! The Heart of DETHTOWER. See EVERYTHING. IA NYARLY! IA 'ZATOTH! Don't forget your flashlight!" This page includes a repetition of the life and sanity waiver, as well as a little drawing of a Shoggy containing a speech bubble which says, "If you want to see the Shining Trapezohedron, remember to ask for the guided tour! Shining Trapezohedron is only for the Guided Tour! There are magic lights but we will provide more lights."
Another page lists a series of bullet points detailing other features of the structure, such as:
- Enjoy sooo many hallways!
- Crazy stairs room bends human notions of space and gravity!
- DETHTOWER power core! Sooo green and glowy. Might mutate humans. We don't know!
- Make your own Cthulhoo icon in the crafts-room!
- Have sandwiches! There is a sandwich-and-hats-table in the entrance hall.
Next to the stand containing these detailed pamphlets, a small kiosk has been erected, manned by several Shoggies. (The Shoggies have agreed amongst themselves to rotate operation of this kiosk.) This kiosk is clearly labeled, "GUIDED TOURS! 3 galleons. 1 galleon discount for cultists!"
((The DETHTOWER is of course entirely unsafe, but still under the usual Hogwarts no-death enchantment. A Shoggy will be happy to take a character to a desired area if asked nicely and paid for the Guided Tour. Feel free to handwave this if you don't want to bother actually threading with the Shoggies. Likewise, if a character gets lost in the DETHTOWER, there are many lurking Shoggies, and one will take them out of the maze if asked and treated nicely. Without the Guided Tour, the place is impossible huge, disobeys the known laws of space, physics, and time, is filled with random Lovecraftian monsters & traps, and is pretty much incomprehensible, maddening, etc. Your basic Lovecraftian Funhouse. =D It's still maddening with the Guided Tour, but, the Shoggies at least know where it's safe to walk. Good times!
The Shining Trapezohedron does have a couple of specific effects, but magical lighting + Shoggies with flashlights assure that it will only serve as a maddening window into all space and time. The Shoggies asked Lezard to help them with putting just about every anti-theft charm possible on the Shining Trapezohedron, and also keep a constant watch on it. The treasure chests scattered around the DETHTOWER contain either various Lovecraftian effigies/artifacts/books, or more frequently, shiny junk the Shoggies thought was good for a treasure, and these are not under enchantment. Anything 'good' is behind at least one or more traps, and probably some byakhee or generic tentacle monsters of the mindless, tentacle-only variety. The Shoggies aren't much concerned about these, having accidentally infested the place with far more than they intended, but, they insist that the Black Goat's spawn and the giant albino penguins be left alone as part of the 'exhibits'. =D ))
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 01:16 pm (UTC)It simply hadn't occurred to Skwisgaar to try and make sense of the impossible geometry and maddening angles, until Toki noted them, that is. An unpleasant pressure began to build behind Skwisgaar's eyes when he contemplated the exterior of the DETHTOWER more closely, and he reached up to massage his temples in a vain attempt to relieve it. Despite this, he didn't find the DETHTOWER horrifying in the least (yet) -- it actually reminded him of an interesting dreamscape. In particular that of a recurring dream he'd had for as long as he could remember, of twin ravens watching him with their hauntingly aware gazes, a twisting tree of impossible dimension, horses like spiders... things that were perhaps not meant to ever be comprehended, and yet felt as familiar to him as his own skin.
This was probably why the DETHTOWER was seeming a lot like Disneyland for him too, albeit one he'd soon need a break from if his headache worsened.
"That mights be the Lizard guy Toki gots stuck with fors the one Secret Santas bullshit," he said a bit absently, checking his pockets for any leftover drugs that might help the headache. "Ja, a tributes room and crowns woulds be metal," he added. "The reals kind, whats makes your head hurt because they's so heavy. My head ams already hurting..."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 06:28 am (UTC)"Hangover, dood? Got yer cure right here," Pickles said, handing over one of his bottles of whiskey to Skwisgaar. He had several more, so sharing wouldn't hurt his supply. He raised his own bottle in a toast before chugging some.
"Yeah, real crowns with spikes," Nathan was saying, mostly to himself. "Sharpened spikes that could kill someone. And some of that black rock stuff, onyx..."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-04 06:40 am (UTC)"T'ank yous," Skwisgaar said as he accepted the bottle. "Guess it's a hangsover, but I don'ts remember drinkings that much last night."
Being in pain hadn't dampened Skwisgaar's enthusiasm overmuch, and once he'd stopped trying to make sense of the architecture he was mostly fine. It could be Hogwarts' general protective no-kill field at work, or more likely that Skwisgaar was in fact the (demi)god he believed he was and thus not susceptible to the insanity-inducing effects of the DETHTOWER. This didn't preclude the power of suggestion from affecting him, which had probably been the real cause of his headache in the first place.
At least the whiskey was helping. He glanced back down at the pamphlet and resumed idly looking through it while waiting for the tour to start, and occasionally offered Nathan more suggestions for their crowns and such.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-05 10:46 pm (UTC)One thing though.
"No spikes on the crowns," he said. "You might injure yourselves."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-05 10:56 pm (UTC)"Master Nathan gaves to us the name," Shoggy 4.6 attempted to explain again, but Shoggy 27 cut in with a clarification of its own. "Master Lezard isn't a jackoff, he's an owls-god!" "So he can't be a king," another Shoggy interjected. "He'd have to be a God-King." "But it's good to be special! Does an Overlord-King need a special hat? It sounds like a lot of words to fit on a hat!" Shoggy 10 piped over a growing hubub of Shoggies, who were once again falling back into debate with each other over the specifics of the DETHTOWER.
The entrance patio at the top of the stairs provided a relatively sane immediate area, and so Toki lifted his eyes from the ground- evidently, it was entirely possible to traverse that impossible incline. If the DETHTOWER was affecting Toki more than his bandmates, it was perhaps because he found himself actually thinking and wondering about how it worked, and how the Shoggies had actually put it together. Of course, he was Toki, which meant that he soon found himself wondering if the Shoggies could teach him to build impossible geometries out of lego bricks.
Toki's attention gradually came back to his bandmates. "Don't thinks it's exactlies a hangsover," Toki offered, "More like whens you play a videos game for too long, and a bit of a hangsover too. Can I haves some of thats?" Toki indicated the whiskey bottle Skwisgaar was holding. Being a bit drunk sounded like a good idea. Not shitty drunk, but, a nice buzz would at least loosen his own sense of balance and perception's requirements upon itself.
The cacophony of Shoggies once again simmered down. This time, Shoggy 10 was elected to deliver their consensus to Ofdensen and the band. "It's sooo cool! You can be DETHTOWER kings, but since no one tolds us to build DETHTOWER, it means that we tolds ourselves to build it!" This was evidently a point of awe for Shoggy 10, who managed to convey its sense of amazement in its tone. "This means its ours! And Great Master Cthulhoo's since we're his, but, we don't thinks he'll care whats we do with it!" "It's sooo cool!" the crowd of Shoggies announced in near unison, all overjoyed by the realization. In the past, the Shoggies had only slaved for others, and never got to keep the results of their efforts. This was the first time that the Shoggies had realized a right to claim their own work. They'd made a few random things after they'd turned on their original creators, but, hadn't understood that they could 'own' them. "So lets us know what you wants on your Dethtower-Kings crown-hats withouts spikes because Master Charles-Butler says so. We just have hat-hats folded rights now, not crown-hats so you gots to wait." The Shoggy crowd, done with their debate, began to disperse, leaving little groups to chat about how cool it was to actually own something, while Shoggies 3, 4.6, 10, and 18 gathered up again to start the tour. "The tour starts throughs the doors! Is there someplace you wants to see first?" asked Shoggy 3.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-06 02:05 am (UTC)"He does sound like a jackoff," Nathan growled decisively, "and I'm an Overlord God King then." Like hell he'd let someone with such a stupid name get a better title than him. It was bad enough the Dethtower wasn't theirs despite having the 'deth' prefix, and they hadn't even been allowed to perform a brutal concert for the grand opening like he'd originally wanted to, when the Shoggies had first told him of their plans. And now no spiked crowns? The whole venture was turning out to be disappointing, in the frontman's opinion. "Crowns without spikes aren't metal," he grumbled. "I want spikes."
"Gahd, we came to see this shit, not to fucking argue semantics. Either we're gettin' the show on the road or Ahm goin' back to my room to get high," Pickles commented with all his usual tact, flailing his bottle around and making shooing motions at the Shoggies. "Gogogo. Anywhere. Just show us something theat'll blow our minds and shut these douchebags up, okey?" He sighed. "Sahrry 'bout 'douchebags'... low blood sugar," he mumbled, digging in a pocket, and then washed the assortment of pills down with some whiskey. Much better.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-06 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-06 02:49 am (UTC)As far as ownership went he was glad the Shoggies got to claim one of the things they'd laboured on for months as their own, even though he would have liked to own the tower too. He was also getting bored just standing around arguing about shit, so jumped at the chance to finally see the DETHTOWER's interior in person. "Gives to us the fulls tour," he told the Shoggies, and reached for Toki's hand again now that the tour seemed to be starting.
He glanced at Toki with a slight frown before offering the bottle of whiskey. "Don'ts get too drunks." Babysitting an obnoxiously drunk or high Toki wasn't very fun when he wasn't also drunk or high himself and they weren't alone, and he'd had his fill of that at the potluck Yule party. But a little alcohol would probably help them both enjoy the tour more.
"Spiked armours sounds goods to me," he offered, hoping the idea would appease Nathan so he wouldn't be so growly the entire tour. More growly than usual, that was. Skwisgaar carefully didn't suggest white armour, since his argument with Toki about their armour ideas from before had soured him on it (because who in their right mind would want to look like a metal Elvis? It was a good thing Toki hadn't censored his opinion.) Black would be better anyway, since black went with everything, and would look particularly awesome with his Explorer, he thought.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-08 03:36 am (UTC)None of the Shoggies actually turned these on- the DETHTOWER was in fact lit, at least in the vast, shadowy area which the doors opened upon. Dim magical fires flickered from sconces set into the walls, which possessed far more angles than was proper. Other than several large passages whose dark apertures lead deeper into the construct, the only real feature in this room aside from the supporting pillars was a large table, surrounded by a number of Shoggies, and containing a pile of dead fish mixed with a bit of mystery meat, alongside a pile of folded paper and aluminum foil hats. "Here is the sandwiches and hats table! We don't haves crown-kinds now, but we haves shiny ones," Shoggy 10 announced. "The shiny ones are the bests." "And you can use them to keep them out of your mind!" a random Shoggy at the table added in, not choosing to clarify who 'they' were.
"Picks me outs a hat, ands one for Skwisgaar too," Toki told the Shoggies, happy to indulge them by wearing a silly folded hat. "I'll gets sandwiches later, ams not really hungry now." Toki didn't trust the Shoggies' concept of 'sandwiches'. A couple of hats were brought to the guitarists, both folded out of aluminum foil, and Toki donned his to the Shoggies' approval. "Now yous look soo cool and readies for the tour!" Shoggy 4.6 declared. Toki for one was quite pleased to take his tour of the DETHTOWER in his regular clothes and a foil hat- stomping through something the size of the DETHTOWER in armor just sounded sort of tiring.
"We starts over here!" Shoggy 18 declared when everyone had finished with the sandwiches-and-hats table. The Shoggies all squelched towards one of the aperatures- possibly the one on the far left, although, the number of angles in the room made it very difficult to assign a definite orientation to anything. "Todays it goes to ours Hall of History, ifs you go the right way!" As the tunnel was approached, it was evident that there was lighting within it, but dim and widely spaced- as for the tunnel's direction, it was just best not to think about it. "Follow rights behind us," Shoggy 3 warned. "Ifs you don't, you waived lifes and sanities and we can't be held responsibles." "Exactly rights behind us," insisted Shoggy 10. "Even ifs another tunnel looks sooo cool. You asks us first, so we can shows you." Toki fell in line behind the Shoggies, seeking to pull Skwisgaar with him- he sensed that it would indeed be wise to follow their advice.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-08 04:09 am (UTC)Not even the impressive interior of the Dethtower could make Nathan completely forget his irritation, but it did help put him in better spirits pretty quickly. He wandered off on his own to have a better look around and to poke at the 'sandwiches' and hats, the former of which he wisely decided against sampling.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-08 04:09 am (UTC)He made his way to the table and put on one of the aluminum foil hats, then wrapped one around his bottle as well and staggered off after the Shoggies. Since everyone else had a hat, Nathan put one on too, and reached over to put one on Ofdensen before likewise following the Shoggies down into the tunnel—or was it up? He couldn't tell, like his equilibrium was slowly shifting. Or maybe the ground was sloping...
no subject
Date: 2011-01-10 05:16 am (UTC)He wasn't sure what purpose the foil hats served, or who "they" were, but he put his on without protest. Probably the Shoggies simply thought they were fashionable, he figured. Afterward he took in his surroundings, admiring the Shoggies' hard work as Toki pulled him along after their hosts. It reminded him a lot of the Dethtub band room -- maybe they should have just requested their own tower from the start? But the portal was extremely useful, and he wouldn't want to give that up considering it was their only way home.
"Prettys sure we's already waived those things by beings in Dethklok," he said in response to the Shoggy reminding them of the life/sanity waivers. "So don'ts worry about us." He was content taking a tour rather than exploring on his own, although that was subject to change if he saw any good spots for a quickie. It seemed fitting that he and Toki be the first to "christen" the DETHTOWER should the opportunity arise, and this was clearly not far from his mind, with the way he put an arm around Toki's waist and slipped his hand into Toki's pants pocket as they walked.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-10 05:42 am (UTC)"Hmmm...maybe if the scientists could create something with retractable spikes..."
Then he looked around.
"Ah." Yeah, this is disorienting.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-11 02:50 am (UTC)"Master Toki-Dad said we shoulds remind people abouts the waivers when we starts the tour," Shoggy 3 explained. "We had to put lots of traps intosides the tower because of alls the treasures." The Shoggies stuck to one half of the wide hall as they began what might have started as a descent, but quickly stopped feeing like one. "Somes of the traps are retractsables spikes!" it piped proudly at Ofdensen, pleased it knew what 'retractable' meant. As if in illustration, a side tunnel opened a moment later- at the mouth of the tunnel, an array of spikes were visible, and something that was surely alive at one point had been impaled by the contraption. The thing was slightly smaller than a horse, and definitely wasn't a crow, a mole, a buzzard, an ant, or a human being. It did have leathery wings, some sort of carapace, and definitely wasn't of earthly origin. "Byakhee!" announced Shoggy 10. "Most of them are still alives, but sometimes they get caughts in the traps." It took all of a minute for the four Shoggies to swarm the corpse, devouring the edible parts and dissolving the rest.
Toki held Skwisgaar's hand as they walked, his grip getting tighter as they moved further along in an indefinable direction. He couldn't help but feel as if the tunnel had actually twisted upon itself, and that they were now technically walking upside-down in comparison to their normal orientation, only, gravity was cooperating. Although he too was interested in "christening" the DETHTOWER, the skewered byakhee had proven that wandering off on their own could indeed be a Very Bad Idea. The Shoggies had a lot to show off, besides- as they progressed down the weird corridor, the Shoggies would indicate various wall-carvings or trap-contraptions, which Toki made sure to compliment them upon enthusiastically. At one point, the corridor was split by a wide breach, filled with what appeared to be acid. The Shoggies squelched over to a wall, and prodded at the details of a bas-relief for a moment, until a span of stone suddenly projected, allowing them cross the divide (which might have been on the 'ceiling' or possibly 'sideways'. Toki was convinced of this.).
After the divide, the tunnel continued to snake around- a few side-tunnels split off, but, the Shoggies remained stuck to the central corridor, occasionally shifting from one side to the other as they squelched, insisting that Dethklok and Ofdensen follow them as they did so. After an indeterminable amount of time, the tunnel appeared to 'level out', at least in that it seemed to run straight for a time before emptying into some vast space up ahead, which appeared brighter than the surrounding area. "Up aheads is our Hall of History! We will share it withs you," Shoggy 4.6 declared.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-12 01:42 am (UTC)Pickles was staggering so badly that he would have toppled over and gotten an acid bath had Nathan not grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. The drummer slurred a laugh, only vaguely aware of what was happening as Nathan kept herding him along, making sure he didn't wind up in the hospital ward for weeks again.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-12 01:42 am (UTC)"This isn't going to be a boring history lesson, is it?" Nathan asked suspiciously. There was nothing he'd seen thus far that would support that conclusion, he was just naturally wary of anything that sounded too educational. Pickles echoed the sentiment, with a "boooooorr-ENG!"
no subject
Date: 2011-01-12 02:09 am (UTC)because his mun might still make him get lost-- Mordhaus had its share of similarly gruesome and even worse traps built in, after all, and he wasn't bothered by those. They were simply a part of Dethklok's home, and helped keep the jackasses out. But Toki seemed to be legitimately afraid of the DETHTOWER, which was what did put a damper on Skwisgaar's plans. He raised an eyebrow as he watched the Shoggies going to work on the Byakhee. Since the dead creature didn't resemble a proper dragon (especially not once the Shoggies had finished with it), it was easily forgotten as they moved on, Skwisgaar's mind turning from thoughts of getting laid to the latest song he'd been working on. He withdrew his hand from Toki's pocket so he could one-handedly finger his guitar, able to accurately imagine the sound of each chord. At least the atmosphere of the DETHTOWER was conducive to songwriting, if nothing else.Toki's grip on his other hand was getting awfully tight, causing Skwisgaar to glance at him. "You wants to goes back?" he asked in an undertone, having assumed the tour might not be that enjoyable for Toki if he really was scared. There was no point in continuing if it was going to become more nightmare fodder, since it wasn't as though Toki was lacking in that department. Nor was Skwisgaar, but it seemed highly unlikely that he'd be subjected to his mother fucking anyone here -- thank Odin. Even the most ghastly, unimaginably horrific monster would pale in comparison to that, for the Swede.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-21 12:44 am (UTC)By the time they actually reached what appeared to be the end of the corridor, the Shoggies were virtually quivering with excitement. The corridor fed into what appeared to be an even bigger one, rather well-lit, especially due to the packed snow and ice on the ground reflecting the magical light from torches set into the carved walls. Wandering about the icy expanse, which was relatively level for the DETHTOWER, were a number of giant albino penguins, most of them around six feet tall. "If you get boreds," Shoggy 10 told Pickles and Nathan, "You can looks at the penguins!" "You can pets them but don't breaks them," Shoggy 18 added in. "They were soo hard to get here withouts eating them." The Shoggies were very protective of what creatures they'd managed to acquire, aside from the byakhee, as those were an infestation. "You can gives to them some fish if you wants!" Shoggy 3 said. "They's in the water way down theres." Indeed, at the far end of the Shoggies' Hall of History was a still expanse of water, as the Shoggies had luckily remembered that penguins needed food.
A few weird, fluttery shapes could be glimpsed high overhead, but, didn't bother anyone as the Shoggies lead Dethklok and Ofdensen down the hall and narrated their story. Toki was of the opinion that the Hall of History had leveled out into a relatively 'normal' plane. The bas-reliefs on the walls were exactly what the Shoggies had promised- in massive images, they detailed the story of the Shoggies as well as the amorphous creatures could remember it. Vegetable-like creatures with leathery wings and star-like heads featured prominently in the first half of the images- according to the pictures, these creatures had created the Shoggies from vats. The pictures continued on through a story of the Shoggies building many cities, both underwater and above. About halfway through, the Shoggies in the carvings rebelled against their masters, devouring the vegetable-like creatures who had created them, after which they inhabited the cities they'd built by themselves. During the course of the images, the backgrounds shifted from scenes of prehistoric plants of the simplest nature, and the earliest land creatures, through more developed plants, and even onto some dinosaurs before the backgrounds turned into barren, icy wastelands. The final images contained beings who the Shoggies identified as Cthulhoo and Nyarly taking them from the frozen cities and bringing them somewhere else, that they called "the Vault". Toki was of course even more impressed with his 'children' by the time they'd described what had happened in most of their carvings- it seemed that what he considered a relatively innocuous appearance was misleading. "Wow-wee! We gots some brutal kids," Toki exclaimed as he surveyed the Shoggies-eating-their-former-masters carving. "Didn't know they'd done an alien genocides."