Stairgasm ((Open RP))

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

It's the stairs that make Arthur decide he likes Hogwarts.

Like most students, he's turned out of the sorting room with a house name and the clothes on his back. The directions he's gotten are unreliable at best, ranging from "over there somewhere" to a series of twists and turns that finally lead him to a dead end. He's heading down a hallway, looking for the next person to ask when he runs out of hallways and comes out onto a landing leading to the staircases.

The staircases lead up and down and wherever they want to. He watches one staircase detach from the third floor and lazily stretch itself up to the fifth. Another set of stairs decides that being linear is boring and twists into a tight spiral, ending up on the same floor but on the other side. It's almost too much to take in, and frankly, it's one of the most amazing things he's ever seen.

Arthur is a bit of a stair nerd.

He'll claim that he merely has an appreciation of impossible architecture, that it comes with spending so long around people who can bend cities in their dreams. But there's a reason why the Penrose stairs are one of his favorites, why it's what he shows off first. They're simple, elegant, useful, and embody the fantastical nature of dreams that he finds so intriguing. While these stairs lack the subtlety of the Penrose ones, the sheer grandeur of them captivates him completely.

Which is why he's still there half an hour later, watching the stairs and walking up and down them to see them shift under his feet and swing him around to places he had no intention of visiting.

Comments

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

Susan liked the stairs, too. They were equal parts impossible and convenient, which seemed to be a mainstay of Gallifreyan architecture. What was more, they were magical, almost to the point of showing off.

"They're very interesting," she remarked to Arthur, as she passed him, stopping to admire them as well. "I wonder what kind of magic they use for them? This whole place seems magic, really, there's a sort of bigger on the inside feel. Very homey."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"It stands to reason that a magic school would seem magic." It's not said in a hostile tone; Arthur himself had recently said something stupidly redundant (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1966677.html?thread=111069525#t111069525'). "I suppose that a place like this wouldn't have to conform to the laws of physics. It's not something I expected to see in real life."

He turned around to face her. "You find this homey?"

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I think all sorts of things can be magic without seeming magic. Like, you could use magic to work an oven or something, but it wouldn't look out of the ordinary. Plus, this has just that little extra sense of being completely superfluous. There isn't a particular reason for it, they're doing it because they can."

she smiled. "Where I live - the TARDIS, it's called - has a rather bad case of bigger-on-the-inside. It looks like a police box on the outside, but there are countless rooms inside."

"I'm Susan, by the way. What's your name?"

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"Arthur." He would shake her hand if she offered, but he wasn't in the mood to go through the motions with every person he met.

"Your TARDIS sounds like something that would come out of a dream." Distortions of scale like that were popular; like hours within minutes, dilating space was as easy as dilating time when in a dream. "Why do you live there?"

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Nice to meet you, Arthur. The TARDIS is... complicated, but being bigger on the inside is fairly standard for Gallifreyan design. It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. Grandfather and I use her to travel through time and space."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"Did you use her-" like a ship? he wondered "-to get to Hogwarts?" It had to be a better way than being sucked in from the train station.

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

He got a bright smile from Susan; far too many people said 'it'. "Not quite - I mean, I thought I did, but none of the other people I'm traveling with are here either. Well, Grandfather is sort of here, but not from when I was travelling with him."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

In return, she got a blank look from him. Arthur hated not understanding what somebody said, but he couldn't parse a single thing in her last sentence. "I don't follow you," he said.

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Well, the way the TARDIS works is that she just appears places, like I did in the sorting room, but there were other people who were supposed to be with me - Grandfather, Miss Wright, and Mr. Chesterton. But Miss Wright and Mr. Chesterton aren't here at all right now, and there are two versions of Grandfather here, but they're both from my future."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

This was a situation where he wasn't sure which question to ask. Did the TARDIS have something to do with there being two versions of the same person? Was the magic school responsible? There was, of course, the Time Lord regeneration issue, which he couldn't possibly know about.

"How do your Grandfathers like it here?" Not brilliant, but it was something.

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Oh he seems perfectly happy. He's met a lot of other people since we last saw each other. Maybe you've met either of him? He just goes by "the Doctor"."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

Arthur reflected on how pretentious a person would have to be to go by a title. He also recognized that as a man who preferred to go by his first name only, he was a pot calling the kettle a slightly darker shade of black.

"I haven't met him, but I've only just got here."

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Me, too. I wondered if maybe that was the case - you still seem excited to be here."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

He wouldn't say that he was excited, but he was. It was like dreamsharing; a whole new world to explore, where the rulebook had been tossed out the window.

"And you? Are you excited to be here?"

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yes! Just the very existence of magic is fascinating. Being able to really study it is great. And then, of course, there's the people..."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

He ignored what he saw as an invitation for gossip. "So you travel through time and space but haven't encountered magic before? Or is this just the first chance you've had to sit down and study it?"

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

She laughed. "You mean the TARDIS? But that's science. Not science that I really understand, mind you, but after all, I was still at the Academy when I left. It might be sufficiently advanced technology, but it's still technology. This - it's not that I don't understand it, but that it can't really be understood in the first place."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"I wonder if they're sick of Clarke's laws (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarke%27s_three_laws) here." He smiled, just barely. The second was his favorite.

"Yet here we are, at a school to understand it. Unless we've been lied to by several different people."

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

Susan was rather fond of Clarke's Laws; while she had no definitive proof one way or the other, she strongly suspected that her grandfather had inspired them. She gave Arthur a wider smile in return. "They've always been favourites of mine. And they're quite accurate, in my experience at least.

"I know!" she added, a little dreamily. "It's just brilliant, isn't it? Well, the school of magic bit. Not the being lied to bit, which I highly doubt is the case, unless someone's gone to an implausible amount of trouble faking it all."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"In your experience?" He turned from the stair railing. Arthur asked questions to get information, and so far Susan had been a font of it. "I think we've covered the third one. You must also be familiar with elderly scientists with strong convictions. If time and space travel is within the realm of possibility for you, I'm curious to know what would be going outside of it."

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Not scientists, per se. Maybe a Doctor, though." She shot him a teasing grin. "Well, I would have thought magic was outside the realm of possibility - my first school was very big on there always being a sensible explanation for everything. But mostly I like seeing it be applied to other people."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

His self-contained expression had only changed once, and just by a fraction, but something in what she said made him prop back up his wall of stoicism.

"What do you do if they don't want to go past those limits?"

[timelady-susan.livejournal.com]

"Nothing, of course." She paused - that wasn't quite accurate. "Well, unless there's some sort of mistake."

[apex-raptor.livejournal.com]

A dinosaur suddenly appeared at the top of the staircase Arthur was on, decked out in his official prefect hat (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1838832.html#cutid11). This wasn't one of the downright adorable turkey (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Vraptor-scale.svg)-sized velociraptors, but a genetically engineered monster (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/Utahraptor_size_estimate_chart.svg) courtesy of InGen, for whom Hogwarts house-elves were the equivalent of truly excellent cat toys. The raptor was preceded by a small herd of the shrieking and disapparating creatures, fleeing for their lives. With an unholy reptilian screech of glee the raptor came barreling down the staircase after them, heading straight for Arthur--whom he nimbly leapt over at the last second, clearing his head with room to spare--and continued his pursuit of the poor elves until the last one had disapparated away, thus ending the game.

The raptor came to a stop at the foot of the stairs, rocking to maintain his balance as the structure moved beneath him. He was accustomed to such occurrences and thought it was rather fun to ride them. He canted his head upward to peer at Arthur and gave an inquisitive sort of chirrup-growl, his tail lashing from side to side. Maybe this one liked to stair-play, too?

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

The whole thing happened so fast that Arthur barely had time to duck -not that he needed to- before the dinosaur had leapt over him. Still crouched, he pulled his gun out from under his jacket. Sure, it was meant more for angry ex-employers, but he was more than willing to test bullets against reptile hide.

He whirled and pointed the gun at the raptor, finger off the trigger but ready to shoot all the same. The attack never came, though. When it chirruped at him, Arthur straightened, just a little. It seemed curious, not hostile. He lowered his gun a fraction of a degree. He was intrigued by the animal's behavior, but not completely suicidal.

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"DO SOMETHING!"

Well, I can't say I'm shocked that Ryuk cracked.

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

Nothing could quite compete with the shock of being charged by a velociraptor wearing a Hello Kitty hat, but being shouted at by a death god was a good second.

"Why?" he asked after he wiped the shock off his face.

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"Because you are boring! All you do is go up and down and I can't even get a good look at you to see your name!"

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

The look Arthur gave him in reply to that was a very clear "And the problem with that is...?"

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"And see, now you're doing absolutely nothing!" Ryuk pouted.

[[OOC: Um. So. As far as I can tell from TV Tropes Arthur has no canon last name. What did you want to do about that, re: Ryuk's shinigami eyes?]]

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

((I had no intention of giving him one. Feel free to handwave something along the lines of seeing his real name, but I don't think we have to be specific about what that is.))

The pout did nothing to motivate him to action, or even to change his expression.

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

Ryuk glowered. "You bore me, Arthur," he said, flying away.

[g-wormtongue.livejournal.com]

Grima was trying to climb the staircase when a part of it decided to split off and go its own way. He grabbed the rail, a panicked look crossing his face, then he shut his eyes tightly and muttered some choice words about magical stairs.

Still, he had to get up to the third floor somehow. He'd never liked the cursed things anyway and avoided them as much as possible.

"Sir, do you have any idea when the stairs might split off again towards the third floor?" He addressed the strange man who seemed to be confident and actually enjoying the ride.

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"They seemed to move at random." Riding the stairs reminded him of subway surfing (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=subway%20surf). Even though the staircase was lurching, he was able to keep his balance with his hands in his pockets.

He nodded towards a staircase on the floor they were approaching. "If I had to guess, though, I would try that one. It seems to be partial to the odd floors."

[g-wormtongue.livejournal.com]

The man was far too cool about the whole thing. Grima swallowed the breakfast that was threatening to come back up again.

He inclined his head graciously. "You seem most observant for a newcomer."

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

Arhut looked a little surprised at that comment. "I'd think that being new to a place and situation would make it all the more important to be observant."

Grima seemed to be a little green. "Are you all right?"

[g-wormtongue.livejournal.com]

Motion sickness apparently led to Grima making backhanded compliments.

"Certainly." He replied. "Though few from the outside world would expect stairs to change their shape. That is assuming you are not from the wizarding world..." Foolish. He was growing foolish in this place, making assumptions like that simply because the man wasn't wearing robes.

The train of thought was cut short by his staircase choosing to uncoil and stretch like a lazy cat. Wormtongue turned a more vivid shade of pea-soup green.

[3pc-point.livejournal.com]

"Get in the center of the stairs." If it worked for sea sickness, it might work for stair sickness. There was more movement at the end of the stairs. "Look at that tapestry or close your eyes." He pointed to one on the far wall. The last thing Arthur wanted was for Grima to actually get sick. It would be messy, and he hated messy.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

((Ari's just here observing / taking notes. She'll be doing this kind of thing for a while in open RPs, to study up for her Real Hogwarts plans: she's not inclined to trust the house elves' observations as useful as that can be for lazy handwaving purposes. No one should feel obliged to notice her or interact with her unless the player thinks their character would do so. NB: I lifted the idea of Hogwarts' uncanny geometry (http://www.hp-lexicon.org/hogwarts/hogwarts.html) from the Lexicon; not to call it non-Euclidean, mind...))

Ariane Emory, trailed by two house elves in awful wigs, was traveling the corridors with her notepad and Dictaquill. Thus far she'd seen:

• Portraits that moved and spoke. One had asked her for a password, and when she said she hadn't been given any passwords, the portrait had complained that no one cared about the "old ways" anymore, then let her into a secret passage anyway. The secret passage led to a broom closet, which contained nothing of any interest whatsoever.



• The Great Hall, where meals were served, and a large bulletin board beside the main doors stood mostly bare. There was an interesting flier about free wands outside the Ancient Runes classroom, and another flier that looked somewhat tattered, announcing an eating contest between someone named Beowulf and someone named Olympia Binewski. The eating contest had probably passed a while ago. The free wand offer might still be good, Ari supposed. But when had anyone ever given away something of actual value?



• Empty classrooms, cobwebbed and dusty, completely unsecured.



• Armor of dubious antiquity.

Throughout her exploration, she'd noticed that the geometry of the castle didn't seem right. The angles of doorways and ceilings didn't jibe. Passages seemed longer than they had any right to be, or shorter than they should.

The moving staircases came as a surprise nonetheless.

Fortunately, someone else was already negotiating them, so she didn't need to risk her own neck testing them out. She stood and watched for a while, murmuring notes and letting the Dictaquill write them down for her.