learning the ropes (open RP: Ari and some house elves)

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

Ari's prioritized action list:

1. Find a computer and attempt to log into Base One. Could be this 21st-century stuff is all someone's elaborate psych.

Attempt made. Ari wasn't surprised that it availed nothing. But she'd had to try.

2. Find Florian and Catlin.

Easiest thing was to send a message to the Hat asking about them. This took some doing: the messaging system here consisted of a fleet of trained owls. The end result: two wizened little green nonhumans showed up at Ari's door in Sparklypoo. They said their names were Flobby and Caddy. When pressed, they admitted these names were short for Floribunda and Cadwallader. Wrong genders, even, for Florian and Catlin. (House elves did seem to have gender; though, thankfully for human sensibilities, their naked forms did not bear primary or secondary sexual characteristics a human would recognize. A good thing. The elves refused to wear clothing, and seemed to take the very offer of any garment as an outrageous affront.)

Because Ari had described her azi in the message she'd sent -- Florian dark and slight, Catlin blonde and tall -- someone had stuck wigs onto the house elves. (Wigs apparently did not count as clothing.)

"Fine," said Ari. "You're my bodyguards."

They grinned and waved their cattle prods.

3. Get messages offworld.

She was hoping for replies to the inquiries she'd owled to the space programs of the major industrial nations: NASA, Roskosmos, and SBASAF. The freight on messages from any of these was likely to be ... well, astronomical. But -- again, as with the computers -- she'd had to try.

4. Familiarize self with grounds.

This was why she was walking away from the castle. Her house-elf bodyguards were trailing far behind her. Ari had a notebook and a Dictaquill, to which she occasionally spoke a few words.

Comments

[bone-not-rock.livejournal.com]

House elves in drag. And yet, the day had only gotten marginally stranger.

Billy remembered the cattle prods very, very well. When he saw the house elves trailing behind a young woman he naturally came to the wrong conclusion.

"Leave her alone!" he told them. He turned to Ari. "No matter what the Hat says, you don't have to get married. It'll all turn out to be a big joke, trust me."

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

Ari stopped short. And stared.

The house-elves burbled some gibberish that sounded like protestations -- and promptly disappeared. It seemed they could take direct orders after all: he told them to leave her alone, and they did. Some bodyguards.

"The hell?"

[bone-not-rock.livejournal.com]

"Are you okay?" he asked her. "They didn't zap you, did they? Some of them have an itchy trigger finger."

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

"Them? No." Ari was putting it together, fast.

She had been acting head of Reseune security, once and no, the mun is not making this up. Ari, is there any job you haven't taken over, during one snafu or another?

"Is that what they're used for? To push people around?"

[bone-not-rock.livejournal.com]

"When they're armed with cattle prods, they are. Otherwise they're quite helpful." Billy actually liked the house elves on the whole.

"They do what the Hat tells them to do, be it make you lunch or force you to be an unwilling bride."

If she wasn't being forced, why was she with them in the first place? "I thought maybe you were being kidnapped. It's been known to happen."

[dc-starscream.livejournal.com]

Starscream had spent the last several hours reviewing his infinitesimally detailed maps of this planet, and augmenting them with additional information from his memory banks that he'd recently compiled. This presently served no greater purpose but to fill his time and keep his mind engaged, and though he wasn't likely to admit it to anyone in this galaxy, he did in fact (still) find genuine enjoyment in these seemingly tedious processes. Millennia of warring and fruitless drifting through space had worn away his naïve idealism, had twisted him into something nigh unrecognisable from who he'd once been, yet there were some small aspects of his personality which had survived intact. Namely, his scientific curiosity.

The Cybertronian was in his customary Hogwarts perch, crouched down near the Care of Magical Creatures barn, his hulking robotic frame (http://pics.livejournal.com/dc_starscream/gallery/00006ktd) casting the structure into shadow unless his mun has underestimated the barn's size. The woman and her house elf retinue passing nearby warranted a cursory inspection, at the least; this consisted of little more than raising his head slightly to get a clear visual of the trio. The house elves matched prior readings from his sensors, the woman did not. New arrival, then?

There came a low frequency hum from him, more vibration than sound, as he shifted his limbs and began to sit up. It remained to be seen whether this stemmed from interest in said new arrival, or if he merely sought a more comfortable position.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

It would be hard to miss a giant pile of metal next to a barn. A pile of metal taller than the barn itself.

A giant shifting pile of metal emitting a buzz that made Ari's teeth tingle.

Before she could think about it, Ari was half-diving half-rolling behind the nearest tree, seeking cover she knew was inadequate.

[dc-starscream.livejournal.com]

If he wasn't interested in the fleshling before, he was now. To be recognised as a potential threat did his ego good after too many long months spent at Hogwarts, where intimidating the locals proved difficult and terminating them was quite impossible, due to the mysterious protective field surrounding the school grounds.

But was the newcomer aware of this? Her actions suggested she wasn't, or perhaps she simply possessed a more finely honed instinct for self-preservation than the average Hogwarts resident.

He tracked the woman's escape with his optical sensors, waiting several moments before he followed. The pair of house elves were, to their credit, actually attempting to play bodyguards, apparently not realising cattle prods were about as effective as a mild static charge against Starscream at their present settings. Crouching low, he peered around the tree in a manner that might have been comical under different circumstances, then an immense metal hand was reaching for the woman.

Let it be known that Smaug-mun, who suggested Starscream "find himself a pretty Hogwarts lady friend", can be blamed almost entirely for this.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

((Shades of Fay Wray! XD The pics in Starscream's LJ are super-helpful as a reference and I'm trying to preserve a sense of that scale, but since I haven't seen the movie, I may well get things wrong, so poke me if I make a mistake. It's okay by me for Starscream to move Ari about -- pick her up, carry her around, dangle her upside down, whatever.))

Attempts on Ari's life had been made before, and in the past year of subjective time, two other Specials had been killed. The malcontents in Novgorod favored explosives and projectile weapons. The Bureau of Defense, less particular about collateral damage, preferred air-to-ground missiles. In the event of an attack, Ari's job was to get out of the way and let her azi do what they needed to do. Here she had no azi, and her Security was quite literally a joke (the Hat's, to be exact).

Tape-trained instinct had jolted her into evasive action. She didn't have much idea what to do once that action was complete. Certainly didn't have a good guess as to what this machine was, or even whether its movement had anything to do with her proximity. It was now on the move, she could hear, and it was moving in her direction.

Once she was behind that tree, she didn't know anything to do but to stay still and hope the machine had business with something other than her.

Apparently, it didn't. It had a hand -- a hand? not a robotic claw or other utilitarian appendage, but a hand -- and it was reaching for her.

She went limp. Presumably whoever was operating the machine knew what they were doing, knew its parameters. If they intended her harm, they could crush her easily. If they didn't intend her harm, they might well be able to handle her safely -- provided she didn't botch their calculations or hurt herself by resisting the fingers' force. It was a huge machine. What could be the terrestrial application for such a thing? It ought to be in space.

"What's the meaning of this?" she called out. She assumed that someone was operating the machine remotely. They ought to have some kind of a/v capability, ought to be able to hear her. She hoped. If it was a vid feed only, she wasn't sure how she was going to communicate. "Do you know who I am?"

[blood-and-souls.livejournal.com]

Elric had recently experienced certain events (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1944182.html?thread=110988662#t110988662) which had forced him to reorganize his opinion about Hogwarts, and his entire situation there. Because of this, he was emerging from the vicinity of Smaug's lair somewhat more often of late, and visiting the school grounds a bit more frequently. Having been thoroughly baffled by the modern world, Elric had decided that the forces of Chaos who resided at Hogwarts were being held there by a twisted form of Law turned decadent, manifesting only its worst potential. Although it was of course a grave misunderstanding on many levels, this interpretation of his situation had actually improved his overall mood. Elric had never taken well to inaction, and felt far better with a sense of purpose, even a vague one.

Not that his new sense of purpose as a champion of the downtrodden forces of Chaos upon this plane meant that he was going to turn a blind eye when he saw a pretty young woman apparently being escorted around by a couple of house-elves with cattle prods and bad wigs. He'd met those cattle prods himself a couple of times on trying to gain access to the Hat, and, was aware that they were really quite painful. It was impossible for him to tell at a glance just what the situation was, but, Elric wasn't the sort to just stand by and watch when a damsel appeared to be in potential distress, and he was in a position to do something about it. It was possible they were serving as some sort of guards, but, if there was a threat to necessitate this, it just might make his day more interesting. There was also the possibility that the house-elves were merely carrying the cattle prods for their own safety, but, Elric found this an unimportant detail. If the 'damsel' was in fact some horrible fiend who would reveal her monstrous nature after his 'rescue', he'd at least have something to occupy himself and Stormbringer for awhile.

And so it was that Elric came striding across the school grounds, with one hand on Stormbringer's hilt, and the pink tiara of Sparklypoo glinting above narrowed crimson eyes. "Is there some new threat afoot, that a lady must walk the grounds with an armed escort?" he said as approached, narrowed eyes taking in each of the house-elves in turn before looking to Ariane for an answer.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

There really were not words for what Ari saw coming toward her. She muttered them to the notepad anyway for the Dictaquill to note as she came toward her.

"Very tall, striking, pale, possibly albino. Soldier, feudal weaponry. Wearing a tiara?"

That was as far as she got before he hailed her and asked her about the house elves. Said elves were no help at all: holstering their cattle prods in back-mounted slings, they proceeded to titter and flop their arms at the tall albino in a grotesque approximation of coquettish waving.

"They like you," said Ari, straightfaced. Forcibly ignoring the knot of anxiety in her gut. "Are you their ruler?" The tiara.

[blood-and-souls.livejournal.com]

As cringeworthy as the house-elves reaction was, it was basically the one he'd hoped for. Elric's experiences with house-elves indicated that the weird creatures actually possessed some potent magic, and, given Stormbringer's lack of full effectiveness on the Hogwarts grounds, he hadn't much wanted to find himself stalemated and exhausted after chasing a couple of house-elves around. He gave a stiff nod, content that the elves had at least holstered their weapons, and lifted his hand from Stormbringer, which gave a brief whine. There did not seem to be anything obviously sinister going on, unless his own presence counted, and that couldn't be helped.

"I am not," Elric replied. "They serve the Hat, not I. I rule only the dust and blackened ruins of Melniboné, long forgotten on this plane." He of course managed the properly melancholy expression to accompany this sentiment, but, its effect was somewhat diminished by the incongruent, sparkling tiara. As an afterthought, he added, "The Hat has doomed me to carry the title Prefect of Sparklypoo. This may be some sort of ruler, but, I see no point to it." He hadn't missed that Ari's eyes had landed upon the awful tiara, and, an explanation seemed necessary. "It is possible they recognize this in some way." He indicated the house-elves, and shrugged. "It is also possible that they are simply perverse." This seemed far more likely. "Are you recently arrived? If so, you have my condolences. I suspect these are worth very little, as I am Elric of Melniboné."

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

(( *dying* ))

Ari suppressed a wince at the sound that emanated from Elric's sword. "If you're the Prefect of Sparklypoo, then you're my Wing Supervisor. My boss, basically. The person who oversees the Wing I'm in. I'm Ariane Emory," she stuck out a hand, "and I'm working for the Sorting Hat. It commended you to me."

[igorofmalaria.livejournal.com]

A small, severely hunchbacked man largely ignored Ari and appeared to be trying to negotiate with the house elves.

"...look, I need one or I'm going to need one. What? No, I don't need yours right now." The house elf in the dark wig was clutching the cattle prod protectively, backing away.
The man sighed. "No, no, I'm not trying to take yours away, I'm just- would you listen?" The house elves were starting to walk away, trailing behind Ari again. "You've got a stockpile of them somewhere, right? I can pay you back, but I may need..." He scampered behind the elf, trying to keep up.
"Look, it's for science. OW! HEY!"

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

Those words would always grab Ari's attention!

"For science," those were the words. (Also, "OW! HEY!" had a certain attention-grabbing force.)

She wheeled to see what on earth the house elves were doing. Or not doing. Ignoring? But when she stopped, the elves did stop too, bumping into one another in a fashion that would've been funny were it not so predictable.

"Did you say you needed a cattle prod for science?" Ari asked the young hunchbacked fellow, curiously.

[igorofmalaria.livejournal.com]

"Yes, yes I di-" BZZTT! "OW, WOULD YOU STOP IT!?"

He looked up at Ari and sighed. "Yes, I'm probably going to need one if my project works out." He nervously glanced back over at the house-elves, almost twitching. Hey, cattle prods hurt.

But something caught his attention. "You know what science is? You know, as in the scientific process?" True, several people here did, but good luck finding any reference to it in the library.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

"Yes. It's my job. -- Flobby, put the cattle prod away, please. -- Why shouldn't I know what science is?"

[herlivinglegacy.livejournal.com]

Having had time to observe the elves habits, Sephiroth was not particularly enthused seeing two of them with cattle prods. They could be persuasive, forceful, when needed. Their size did nothing to impede their ability to be dangerous even to a once-soldier like Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was suspended in mid-air by the lake, his single wing fluttering every so often but seeming to do little in keeping him above the ground. He liked the lake, Cthuloo--the creature who'd taken up residence within--reminded him of his mother. He found it calming.

He watched the woman and her elves, wary for his expression showed nothing.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

A flying humanoid with one wing? How did it manage to keep aloft? Ari stopped and muttered some preliminary observations to her Dictaquill, while the house elves jostled one another and were generally useless.

[herlivinglegacy.livejournal.com]

"They are more likely to mark you than protect you, if that is what they are for," he drawled. Given the right orders they could be useful, he'd found, but they were relentless in pursuing those orders. When asked, anyway.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

"They're a joke," Ari agreed. "I didn't ask for them. I asked for people I knew, and this was the response I got. On Cyteen we don't have house elves at all." She peered up at the hovering man -- the voice was masculine, though the appearance strikingly androgynous in that handsome way that some old Earth statuary had. "Are you a Hogwarts native, or a visitor? If it's not terribly impolite to ask."

[degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com]

Valentine, still high on his recent engagement (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1954564.html?thread=110296836#t110296836) to Baron Harkonnen (among the other, more usual suspects,) drifted airily along outside, admiring the absolutely phlox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple#Psychedelic_purple_.28phlox.29) day. The air wobbled slightly with a pleasant shimmery noise in his wake, and when the wind rustled objects they tinkled like chimes. All in all, it was a charming effect.

And there were the people he passed, that he nodded to magnanimously as he wandered by. Some were drab enough that they must have been solidly there, and therefore beneath his notice. Some were fanciful things, and he conversed with a few until they popped like soap bubbles. However, he was positive that even his imagination would not have presented him with house elves in wigs. He paused, lifting an eyebrow and pursing his painted lips down at them.

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

The house elves took affright at this. Possibly they did not wish to be enlisted in a potions taste-test. With little success, they attempted to hide behind Ari.

Ari, innocent, had no idea why Flobby and Caddy were reacting this way. If they were going to be afraid of anyone, it ought to have been Elric, not this stylish man with his striking and curious maquillage -- she wondered if it was some kind of kabuki. Her familiarity with old Earth fashion and art came mainly through old drawings and paintings and other such artifacts that the Family had stored up at Reseune, either boxed up in someone's collection or digitized for ready access. And this man made her think of a kabuki mask.

"Hello," she said forthrightly.

The elves sniveled.

[degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you're here, too," he said absently, still preoccupied with the bewigged house elves. They were cowering behind her, so either they were all occupying the same physical space or the same non-physical space. "Were you the one who dressed them up? I'd never considered that... I'll have to remember to mention it to the Baron. House elves as a living decoration, that could be an amusing touch..."

He trailed off, eyes wandering up a little way before snapping back down and taking her measure in a much less dreamy way. "Who are you, again?"

[ariemorytwo.livejournal.com]

"We've never met," said Ari. Standing her ground, despite the feeling she was talking to some kind of ... a lethal flower? A predator highly ornamented. "I'm Ariane Emory. A new student, working on a research assignment. And you, ser, are?"