Applicant: Sorceress Thaegan (Emily Rodda's 'Deltora Quest', saga)

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

((OOC: Application has become NSFW. Heavy-duty smut inside.))

A storm was brewing over the grounds of Hogwarts. It was dark grey, angry and moving in fast. Blue lightning coursed through the cumulus. As the mass grew closer to the Hogwarts construct, the thunder clouds were reflected in the stained glass windows of the sorting room.

A face formed in the clouds, it glared at the castle and as soon as it appeared, it fell into the makings of the storm. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed.  From the heart of the storm a burst of golden hot lightning streaked across the grounds of Hogwarts, piercing the window and shattering its glass everywhere. The lightning rushed to meet the flagstone floor of the sorting room. House elves dived out the way as it crashed down, breaking the floor apart and sending brick, sand and debris into the air, to rain down on the scattering elves.

When the smoke dispersed a shapely figure stood in the crater. The storm outside started, the rain being brought into the sorting room by the harsh winds. The house elves picked themselves up off the floor, staring wide-eyed at the figure that caused half the destruction of the sorting room. The woman known as Sorceress Thaegan stepped out of the crevice, her black dress meeting the floor in inky tendrils of fabric. Her silver mane moved eerily as she stared down at the ugly creatures. Her skin was as green as glass, a reflection of her shielding spell that encased her form.

One brave house elf ran up to confront her. He poked a stringy finger at her and cursed her destructive entrance. Thaegan glared down at him, barring her fang-like canines in a snarl. She hiked her dress up and kicked the house elf in the chest, sending it sprawling.

Sorceress Thaegan prowled to the desk that held her application form, the house elves parted in her wake, some scurrying away. She smelt the stench of white magic in the castle, a source for the sealing of the large doors. It reminded her of the house she had trapped those three monstrous children in; the same sort of design was involved. She came to stand over the application, the quill quivered under her reproachful glower. She read.

State your full name.

“I am Sorceress Thaegan, that is my title and you will address me as such.”

1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?

“Cheese,” She spat. “I do not like cheese; I prefer the rich meat of crows, of ravens and other small birds.” She licked her purple lips. “I’d have a crow carcass any day, love. In fact, fetch me a crow!” She barked at one of the slower house elves. Wishing not to meet the same fate as the last elf to go up against her, it scurried away to the kitchens.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

She narrowed her amber eyes. “Both,” she said.  “Only for their ridiculous names...  I’ve killed for less.”

3. What time is it where you are?

It proved difficult to ascertain the time with her storm brewing outside. It made a warm day, darker and colder, so time seemed lost on her for the moment. “It was midday when I came to the castles grounds. It has been, at least, two or more hours since then. Plans take time.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"The question is who I wouldn't harass," she chortled. "Alas... my heart belongs to the Shadow Lord, and my children." She heard the mutterings of the house elves' of whether her heart could still beat, or whether it was blackened and leather. She turned on them and hissed, barring her teeth. They scattered.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar-tend, in the dark.

She flexed her pinkie finger, and narrowed her amber eyes. The application wasn’t finished yet, so she couldn’t scorch its impetuous parchment. It was an inanimate object, it couldn’t possible know her level of estimable magic, that such a thing as bar-tending was beneath her. “If you want a bar-tender, use one of those ghastly, most foul creatures.” She poked a wicked finger at the house elves.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

She laughed; the sound was feral and pitchy. “Harry should marry me! My thirteen children need a new daddy.” She smirked cruelly.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

“Why should the castle cease work just because you want a clear desk? Hm? If you were my underling I’d have you castrated and turned into a worm!” Thaegan flexed her jaw. “Don’t tempt me, honey.”

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Thaegan lifted her right hand, when she angled it out horizontally, her little finger was pointed towards a congregation of house elves. "Deyiax Tinn!" she chanted. The green shield encasing her body allowed the spell, opening itself up so it could be cast. A bright golden light exploded from the ring on her pinkie, and was shot across the way. It exploded the flagstones by the congregation, erupting in debris, and wood shards from the furniture, showering the sky. The house elves cried out, jumping away from the collateral zone. Smoke billowed from the impact. Thaegan smirked deliciously.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Her lip curled. She had to give a bribe? She took out, from under her long sleeve, the ruby that once held a place in the Belt of Deltora. It was a most important object in her world. The Shadow Lord had entrusted her to guard it, and by giving to some fool would be the easiest way of hiding it. That cretin, Leaf, wouldn’t have a clue of its whereabouts if it was in the hands of a simpleton. She chucked the ruby onto the desk. It was a pale pink. It was pink, instead of crimson, because it was in the presence of evil.

The house elf came back with her cooked crow on a silver platter. She glowered at the creature and snatched the fowl from the plate, biting into its thigh and tearing its meat from the bone. She waited like all those who came before her.


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus  faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Thaegan.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Thaegan.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Thaegan.
One day, marmalade the Shadow Lord will rule the world. Thaegan"

Comments

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

Methos helped the elf to its feet, "I'm surprised you're not the sort that eats your children," he muttered. He was careful to keep himself between the unfortunate elf and the witch. "Assaulting the help is hardly the right way to make an entrance. You're liable to get sent to a house filled with pink frills and sparkles."

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

"I don't answer to you, monster." She glowered at the insufferable cur behind Methos. "My children are gorgeous things, with an insatiable appetite, so be careful what you say, cur, your tongue may be ripped from that petulant skull."

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

"Oh I'm sure. Spitting images of their mother, no doubt," he said, clearly unconcerned with the witch's threat.

"And seeing as there's a no-kill spell in effect.. you'll find your threats are a tad empty. Better manners would be in order."

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan narrowed her hooded eyes. No-kill spell, indeed. She had never heard something so vile in her lifetime. She drew herself to her full height, staring down at the man, her amber eyes glistening like venom in the moonlight. Her pinkie finger twitched, the urge to blow this cur into oblivion bubbling to the surface. Or would she turn him into a newt, or codfish? The possibilities were endless, and yet, there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that warned against such... blatant spells.

"The stench of white magic in this hell-hole is stifling." She raised her hand to her nose, as if hoping to stop the scent from being smelt. Her train of thought was derailed for the time, but it was only a manner of time before some other boob ratted on her nerves.

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

There was a subtle shift in his stance that spoke of readiness and a man who was accustomed to violence. A great deal of violence. A muscle twitched below his eye, the only outward evidence of his annoyance.

"Then you'd better invest in the magical equivalent of air freshener. So.. what does a big bad witch have to offer a place like Hogwarts?"

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan crossed her arms. Her eyes narrowed to slits and she worried her bottom lip, biting back further retaliations.

What could she offer? She gave it some thought. "I can offer new spells for transfiguration," she said. "I can show other big bad's how to be worse, really worse."

"What have you been able to offer, cur? I shouldn't think it branches any further than sarcasm, and witty comebacks." Thaegan smirked. "If I'm not mistaken, that isn't very unique."

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

Methos tutted. "Now now, this isn't about me. It's all about you."

In her own way, he supposed she was something of a big bad in her own right. Personally, he preferred the more subtle malice of men like his friend Akabane. Yes, he considered the rather scalpel-happy Dr Jackal a friend. "We've got our share of big bads already. I'm sure you'll find yourself in good company."

"So. Spells. What is it you can offer in exchange for a vote?"

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

All about her? - it was most certainly.

Thaegan grunted. "I can offer nothing more than that benign ruby," she gestured vaguely to the pink ruby resting on the desktop. "It's a nuisance of a thing."

She had thought that pawning it off to some fool would be the best course, to serve the Shadow Lord, in the task of keeping it from the hands of Lief and his scourge. But, she really couldn't care. She was in a place that seemed to not be of her world, so she figured she had no further attachment to the blasted gem. Be done with it! she though vehemently.

"Take it, if you wish, and leave your vote."

Vote : Slytherin

[ancient-adam.livejournal.com]

((and Methos gets the epic!fail for being so late with a tagback! Gah! I suck.))

He inspected the ruby idly before picking it up. The gem darkened, but to a dark pink rather than a true red. Methos wasn't necessarily evil right now but the stone must have still sensed something in his past.

And it would make a nice gift for Brienne.

"Keep an eye on your housemates. Some are even more dangerous than you are."

Re: Vote : Slytherin

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan nodded, she smirked at Methos -- his compliment going to her ego quicker than electricity through a circuit. His warning, however, fell on deaf ears.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

Zelgadiss' fists clenched. Truly evil magic-users always got on his nerves, and this one looked like she fell just short of being mazoku. In fact, it sounded like she served one - what else would something called the "Shadow Lord" be?

"You know, generally I'd say making messes like that is a good way to make an enemy of the house-elves, but from the looks of it you've done worse than that to them - and most likely to everything else, too."

He drummed his fingers on the pillar he stood next to, the hollow noise of stone on stone ringing out. "So why should I allow a servant of what I must assume is your world's Dark Lord to infest this school rather than casting my vote to have you sent back to whatever hellhole you came from?"

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan chuckled. "The one thing you can count on, is for white magic to be good and pure, it will try to change me." She spat on the floor, just talking about it put a nasty taste in her mouth. "I don't think some ruddy, blue-skinned demonic cur has the powers, alone, to banish me anywhere."

Thaegan moved closer to Zelgadiss, her fang-like canines glinting as she smirked devilishly. "Your words don't frighten me, cretin. And your vote I could hardly care for."

This place had promise. She could claim it for the Shadow Lord. Thaegan's nose wrinkled. The stench was infectious. Happiness and good magic polluted this place. That would have to be the first thing to go.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps not, but if the hat decides it, you're out. The same power that brought you here would keep you from returning." He stared back at her, not even blinking. "I've faced far worse than you - and most likely worse than your master. You don't frighten me. Not much does now that the man who turned me into this is dead twice over."

His lips quirked in a tiny little smirk. "And incidentally? Bullying someone who can't fight back is generally considered to be a sign of one without the guts to try it with someone who can."

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan's purple lips bent in a tight smile, a chuckle passing through her teeth. "Whatever," she said, shrugging a slender shoulder. "A sliver of fabric will not deter me from my goals, neither will your running mouth." She narrowed her eyes at Zelgadiss.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

"Fair enough. Just be aware that claiming this place for your master will be far easier said than done." He returned with a smile just as tight. "And I think I already know just where to place you."

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan narrowed her eyes to slits. Her pinkie twitched, begging to strike down this interloper. She crossed her arms, controlling certain impulses.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

"I was referring to Slytherin House," he continued mildly. "Each House has a virtue - Slytherin's is ambition and cunning."

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

She smirked, letting her arms fall by her sides. "Very well," she said. Since she had been in the castle she hadn't felt much at home, the creatures known as house elves, had wiled her up, prodded a sensitive area, and flared up some issues that involved Thaegan and the three travelers, Jasmine, Leaf and Barda. Those three had been a thorn in her side, even going as far as killing her beloved children, Jin and Jod. The sound of being housed in Slytherin was a soothing thought, a relaxing one, though that could be said because of the connotations the name, Slytherin, procured in her befouled mind.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

"I thought you might like that." He raised an eyebrow, debating the odds of her being from one of those worlds where names had power.

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Her name only had power before she had wiped an entire city off the map and replaced it with a sinister lake, known as the Lake of Tears, because of her jealousy. She also had a fondness for crows, as food, which kept most animal life away from said area. "Now what, cur?" she said, draping a green hand on her hip. "You have suggested a house, or voted as you put it, now what?" She didn't like being out of a certain loop. When the Shadow Lord was in rule, she knew more, but this was an alien place. She needed information, if not to be in the loop, but to survive it.

Vote: SLYTHERIN

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

"Now you wait. Others will cast their votes. Eventually the Hat will come by and make the final decision and you'll be allowed to leave the room." He shrugged a little. "And my name is Zelgadiss. I am many things, but a dog is not one of them. I'm rather interested to know how you worked out that I was part demon."

Re: Vote: SLYTHERIN

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan nodded.

She wasn't the apologetic type, but the way her words didn't have spittle in them was a sure indicator at her relaxed nature toward Zelgadiss. Perhaps it was, in true fact, because of his demonic lineage that put her in a somewhat ease?

"My children," she said, with the smallest hint of affection. "They are half-casts. For I bedded a demon, and had my thirteen babies to him. I suppose it is just in the way you look, the way you act, and perhaps your smell?"

[best-guitarist.livejournal.com]

Skwisgaar had been checking (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1919903.html?thread=107635359#t107635359) out (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1920452.html?thread=107601860#t107601860) the Sorting Room more often lately, and was very pleasantly surprised to find another sexy MILF applicant. Her flashy entrance was undeniably cool, but didn't faze him much; buildings and audiences alike were on the receiving end of worse at every Dethklok concert, since their music had a tendency to cause chaos and mayhem on a supernatural level.

With his similarly aquatic-looking guitar (http://pics.livejournal.com/best_guitarist/gallery/00011eff) in hand, the Swede made his way over and pulled himself onto the application desk, letting his long shark tail hang over the edge. Balancing in a seated position, he silently fingered the strings of his guitar and looked Thaegan over. "Yous looks great for thirteen kids," he said blithely in heavily accented English. "And that was a pretty brutals entrance. Whats does de stone do?" he asked with a nod toward the pink ruby. As accustomed as he was to applicants offering all manner of magical artifacts, he simply assumed it wasn't an ordinary gem.

[witchthaegan.livejournal.com]

Thaegan walked to the desk, looking up at Skwisgaar, narrowing her bright eyes full of contempt. She behaved herself, for now.

Thaegan nodded to his compliment, at least, that's how she was taking it. She glowered at the gem on the desk. She cleared her throat. 'It's the ruby, symbol of happiness in Deltora. It pales in the presence of evil and neutralize snake venom,' she said, as if reading it from a book's entry.

'If you want it, take it. I have no use for the damned thing.'

Slytherin!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Hat didn't even need to think about this one.

"Your bribe has been accepted! Welcome to Slytherin!"