[identity profile] arrogantmage.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
To Amaranth, Steff, and Mio, he sends gold heart anklets with a small card to wish them a happy holiday, signed simply with his name. Needless to say, nowhere does he indicate that he's given other people the exact same gift.

To Cathy Dollanganger Marquet Sheffield, he sends a small crystal box which proves to contain a few ounces of candied rose petals. Never mind that the only use for candied rose petals (that he can think of) would be for decorating a cake.

To Oly Binewski, he sends a labeled packet of mineral supplements for her pet eyeball.

To Snape and to Igor, he sends bottles of absinthe.

To Turlough and Primavera, he sends bags of coal.

To Yukimura he sends a bottle of sake, which he very much hopes will not be construed as an invitation.

To Michael Scott he sends a large fruit basket as well as a jar of Boudreax's Butt Paste and a special cushion. These gifts are meant kindly.

To Hagrid, he sends a book called Getting to Know Your Chinchilla.

To the Shoggies, he sends a 12-bird roast.

And to Mystina, he sends a roomful of poinsettias, white and red. Under all the poinsettias is another present: The Elements of Scoring. That's right.

Return owl

Date: 2009-12-27 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com
Under protest, the house elf who delivered Steff's anklet was sent straight back from whence it had come, bearing a package containing a large, sparkly, pink dildo in the shape of a candy cane. The attached card read:

"Thanks for the jewelry. I thought I'd get you something we can both use, though I guess in this case this is more a present for me than it is for you.

xxx
Steff."

Date: 2009-12-27 03:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com
Steff was thrown into fits of laughter at this latest gift. But she settled for putting the butt paste jar on Amaranth's side of the room they were now nominally sharing. Amy would totally get a kick out of it.

She sent a note back that read:
"Are you going to help me apply this?"

Date: 2009-12-27 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com
Lezard:

Well, if you really can't figure it out, come to my room. Bring your new toy.

xxx
Steff

Date: 2009-12-27 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vislor-turlough.livejournal.com
Turlough sends the coal back, wrapped in a box and spelled that when it's opened the coal launches in many directions. While lit.

Date: 2010-01-01 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] igorofmalaria.livejournal.com
Igor puzzled over the bottle, not expecting a gift, then returned a message.

"Thank you very much, I'm sure I'll find a use for it. Do you know what Thujone does to the brain? Perhaps you have a use for this?"

Along with the message is a bottle of embalming fluid.

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