[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
Startled profanity announced Kuronue's appearance in the sorting room. Twisting at the waist and peaking over his shoulder to look around rather warily, as well as curiously, he let loose another mumbled tangle of words that may or may not have made much sense to anyone who was close enough to hear. He wasn't quite sure what he'd said himself he was so startled. There had been blackness, and then...this.

"Right," he said to himself. "Right, okay. Stranger things have happened."

Shaking his head and stretching his wings a little, he figured it was the correct thing to do to wander over to the table not too far away from him. He stared down at the parchment for a moment, then sighed. Honestly, he'd seen stranger. He was a demon. A big nasty demon with pointy claws and fangs to go with it. This shouldn't startle him as much as it did.

People came back to life suddenly all the time. Uh-huh.

Kuronue shrugged his worries away and began fiddling with his old straw hat without realising it. He bent forward to read the first question.

State your full name.

He blinked. "Kuronue."

He tilted his head as the quill wrote his name down beneath the question in neat script.

"Hhnn...interesting..."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"I'm a simple kind of guy...cheese is cheese, you know? I'll take any cheese if I'm hungry." There was a slight emphasis on 'take' there, something that could be missed easily. His lips twisted in amusement as he tilted his head and tapped his lips in thought. "I'd rather prefer cheese that's not old, dry and solid as a brick though. It doesn't taste very nice."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

He stared at the parchment for a long time, his brow furrowing. "Ah...Barney? Not sure who that is, but the question seems to suggest either one is worth killing." He shrugged. "B comes before C."

3. What time is it where you are?

Internal clocks are marvellous things, he mused, smiling a little. "Eight at night, I assume."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

His blue eyes sparkled mischievously. "Why just one? Why not them all. Honestly it would be amusing to see their expressions on the prospect of being sexually harassed by a dead guy. You could see how the reactions vary from person to person."

Kuronue let out a giddy laugh, tilting his head back and jumping on the balls of his feet a little as he did. "Oh, that would be amusing."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles straining against the leather straps wrapped around his arms which seemed to have no apparent function other than to be aesthetically pleasing. "Hm...ha! I'd call it 'Get Out'. I'd go into a bar with that name, just out of pure curiosity."

He snickered to himself.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

He blinked, tapping a finger on his arm in thought. "Well, I'm not too good with mythology." He sighed, playing with a strand of black hair that rested against his collarbone. Twirling and un-twirling it. "So...Harry should go with Fred."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"Burning it does nothing." He grined. "It only appears again and again, usually in higher numbers. I would suggest disposing of your office, rather than the paperwork."

And he'd be only to happy to help in causing the chaos that would ensue.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"I am indeed very useful, so long as what you want me for proves to be interesting." His wings twitched a little in anticipation at the thought of what kind of things he could get up to here, in this...castle. He'd been...well, dead, for quite a long while. It was...interesting to live and breathe again. Certainly wasn't what he'd expected at all.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Nibbling at his lower lip for a moment, Kuronue thought about this question seriously. "I offer a kiss. On the cheek mind you, if you want anything more, you have to buy me dinner first." He chuckled to himself. "If you cannot be persuaded by that then I suppose I should offer something in its stead....how about this?"

He reached past the white wrap at his waist, held there by more leather straps, and pulled a diamond -- that was very not his own -- from his pocket. It glittered in the light, roughly about the size of his thumbnail.

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Kuronue__."
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Kuronue__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __Kuronue__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Kuronue__."

Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-04 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
Vladimir nodded approvingly at Kuronue's preference. It appeared he was smart as well as pretty, which was usually a good combination. "Ah, a very good choice, Hufflepuff. My dear assistant Jasper is assigned there. If I'd my own way, I'd have selected that one was well, for the same reason as yourself. Labels can be so very inconvenient. The Hat, however, put me in Slytherin anyway. It makes its own choices, and, appears to operate based on. . . a reality of its own." He wasn't going to go so far as to bluntly announce that the Hat was insane within the Sorting Room, as, for all he knew, the Hat spied on Sortings. It had been known to do some exceptionally strange things, and, he didn't want to find himself at the focus of one of the Hat's crazy whims. It couldn't be good for further advancement of his position.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-05 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
Considering the Hat had done some insane and ridiculous things- the Baron knew a man whose room had ended up entirely filled with cheese, and he'd heard about Hat inflicted weddings, too- avoiding the Hat's attention most of the time seemed wise, and good for sanity. Vladimir had also been musing over ways to improve his own position, which were likely to end up requiring the Hat's support to accomplish- staying on the Hat's good side seemed the smart political move. "I'm still unsure just what the Hat is, although, I think it is actually a Hat. The wizarding wold operates with very strange conditions, yet somehow appears to operate. If not Hufflepuff, I'd hope to see you in Slytherin, as I prefer to share a House with good material." Which Kuronue clearly was, by his standards. Especially with those charming little fangs- potentially dangerous men tended to win points in Vladimir's book. His 'dear assistant' happened to be a vampire with self-control issues.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-05 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
"I'm afraid that it might in fact be an actual Hat. An actual, talking Hat." He sounded apologetic about telling Kuronue this, and he was- actual talking hats had to be one of the most ludicrous concepts imaginable. Yet, it was a better explanation than any other for the Sorting Hat, although he liked to hope that it was somehow directed by actual intelligence. So far, he hadn't turned up any concrete evidence beyond a possible Board of Directors- this was probably the most frightening thing about the Hat, and Hogwarts in general. The complete lack of an obvious power structure. Vladimir liked power structures, especially being as high in them as possible.

"When the Hat does arrive, the 'Sorting' tends to be fast, if that is any condolence. And, there seems to be no purpose at all for it beyond a labeling system, and a suggestion on where to live. But, you're free to live wherever you like. I believe at some point, there were sporting activities connected to them, as there is a large field for a game apparently played on flying brooms." He'd read something about Quidditch in the library books. "But, I haven't seen any sort competition between the Houses since I've been here." He frowned slightly- he did not approve of this lack of competitive activity, even if said activity had involved the absurdity of flying broomsticks. At least it was something.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-06 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
"Once you do talk to the Hat, you'll possibly never have to see it again. This Sorting tedium is unfortunately inflicted on all new arrivals at Hogwarts, but once it's over, you'll be free to do whatever you'd like. Mostly. The school's magic inhibits certain things- death, in particular. So if wanted to kill anyone, or wanted to die, that's apparently right out. Although, I'd hope that someone like you wouldn't consider the latter." He smiled, speaking with complete nonchalance on the topic of death.

The Baron was pleased when his mention of the flying game perked up Kuronue somewhat, and drew an extremely charming smile from him. As Kuronue moved closer, he couldn't resist drifting a bit closer himself, and moved with intent to lay a hand on his shoulder if he didn't flinch or resist. "I think that's an excellent idea, Kuronue- am I pronouncing that right?" He actually did pronounce the name correctly. "Competition is a necessity for a healthy organism. I'm not certain of all the rules of this wizarding sport, but, I expect there's a few people who around who are, so I'll have to see what I can arrange." He smiled, appreciative of the idea. Although it might mean more actual work, the reorganization of school competition sounded like it would be a good investment towards securing future advancement opportunities.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-06 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
"It seems that many come here after they died in another world. I must say that it does seem an improvement on most of the mythological afterlives I've heard of." So this Kuronue was not only pretty and exotic, he was dead- the Baron always found that this trait added a dash of further appeal. "The no-kill spell does make it easier to relax here, and, it does have its uses to offset the inconveniences. I'm planning to exploit it for a class on Muggle warfare soon, involving live ammunition. It should be an entertaining little game."

He let his hand fall on Kuronue's shoulder, as he didn't avoid it. A strong, young body always felt so good to the touch- he thought it a shame that they were in such a public place, but, the winged man had agreed to dinner in the future. That would be a potential opportunity to look forward to. He didn't miss the personal touch to Kuronue's words. He too was smart, and figured that Kuronue was playing up to him, especially with that lovely bit of eye contact. But, he wouldn't have considered it abusing his lechery- sensible use was not abuse, in his opinion, especially when invited. He smiled back at Kuronue, replying, "I'll be sure to make it part of my agenda in the near future. Even if I'm not able to find enough interest in the school to field full Quidditch teams, I expect there's some sort of House-based athletic competition that would interest the school." He let his hand drift over to the base of Kuronue's closest wing, fascinated by the muscle structure beneath the skin that was necessary for its motion.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-07 09:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
Stopping by the Sorting Room was proving to have been extremely worthwhile. The lovely, bat-winged man seemed to enjoy the attention, which encouraged the Baron to explore his wing a bit further, letting his fingers wander up the connecting bone and over a portion of the leathery membrane. He found it truly remarkable that this was attached to a humanoid body, especially one so luscious. His fingers shortly wandered back to the base, as he found a particular fascination in the wing's point of connection to Kuronue's well-formed back. He too entertained notions about Kuronue flying, and hoped to have a chance to see it one day.

"It's entirely my pleasure." He smiled lasciviously at Kuronue, lightly massaging his back about the base of his wing. It was an entirely new experience, so he was currently rather fixated and content with lingering on it for the time being- although he certainly had ideas about exploring the rest of the man in the future. "I hope that the class will find it both interesting, and educational. I feel it would be useful for them to all be aware of just what the Muggles could do to them. It's a silly name, I know, but it's what Wizarding culture calls anyone who isn't a wizard. There's a lot more of them than there are wizards." He'd also thought it an excellent choice of class because it allowed him to purchase a small arsenal with his department's extra funding. Ostensibly, it was all the property of the Muggle Studies department, or so he'd had it labeled. But, he was the one in control of it, which was what counted.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-08 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
The Baron continued to caress the base of Kuronue's wings, smiling as the man seemed to lean into the touch, and explained, "Not taken individually, no. But, although the Muggles are quite silly, they possess some decent technologies. If they felt like it, they're more than capable of destroying the entire planet with atomics. All it would take is pressing a few buttons. And, even an idiot's capable of pointing a gun and pulling a trigger- and put enough guns in the hands of enough idiots, and I can't really see the wizarding community standing up to a war of pure attrition. They have the numbers. So, I do think that people should at least be aware- underestimation's a dangerous thing."

Vladimir listened to Kuronue curiously, noting that he did classify humans as something other than himself, and referred to a Demon world- could this young man be a demon then? He'd met another self-proclaimed demon already, but was entirely unaware that there was actually a connection between Kurama and his new acquaintance. "So are you a demon then, Kuronue? That's truly fascinating- I've met another one here, and, I expect there's others. But, the other one I know does not have pretty wings like yourself. He's the Herbology professor."

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-08 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
"I doubt you'd have too much trouble with most humans of this era, Kuronue. But, the problem with the Muggles is that they have technology that appears advanced beyond their mentality. I come from an era in the distant future, and even we recognized the destructive capacity of atomics. I'm not sure if you are familiar with atomics, but, these are a form of explosive device which can take out a whole city with ease. Whatever's closest to the centre of the explosion is evaporated, and the damage spreads even further. They leave behind a lingering poison, and enough of these detonated at once could mean the end of most life on the planet. A few insects would probably survive. It's not that wizards underestimate humans, as many wizards are humans, but, I believe they do underestimate the Muggle world. They hide, and neglect focusing on technological growth. If I were in charge of the wizarding world, I'd be trying to figure out how to dominate the planet to insure the civilization's future." He looked a bit resentful, as, he was used to being the one in charge of planets, not an observer in a culture on the sidelines.

Vladimir wasn't sure if he should have mentioned the other demon, as he noticed him stiffening beneath his touch. Perhaps demons were territorial, and the presence of another at Hogwarts would be like one of his Imperial rivals showing up? "In my era, demons will be considered a myth- I feel privileged to learn that they are not. None of the stories do justice to your kind." He smiled at Kuronue, and continued to caress the base of his wings- the stories definitely didn't do demons justice as there was no indication that they were so incredibly attractive. If these were the denizens of Hell, Hell had been seriously underrated.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-09 11:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
The Baron watched the motion of Kuronue's wings, fascinated by the motion of muscles beneath his fingers that accompanied it. Despite his frequent gripes about Hogwarts, the foremost of which were the no-kill spell and not being the ruler of the planet, he had to admit that exotic treats like lovely demon boys were pretty excellent compensation.

Vladimir admired the elegant structure of the demon's face as he replied, "From what information I've uncovered thus far, it appears that my own era will occur some 20,000 years after this one, give or take a few millenia. We still have records about this world, and, recognize it as the birthplace of humanity, but, how accurate they are is difficult to determine. In my time, this planet will be all but forgotten- we're not even sure where it is anymore, and an Imperium spanning many planets will be in power. My own family, of which I am the head, governs three of them." A slight fib, but, he sounded as if he believed it, and, he in fact did- just because he'd temporarily given up control of Arrakis to his ancestral enemies at the Emperor's demand didn't mean that it wasn't his anymore. He and the Emperor had crafted the plan, after all, to get rid of House Atreides once and for all, and he presumed that it was either done, or would get done as soon as he found himself back in his own time, and he'd control Arrakis once again. And all the wealth that the Spice planet produced.

Moving away from the touch of a beautiful young man, or anything that looked like one, was about the last thing that the Baron would do, especially in a place where assassination was impossible. He smiled at Kuronue's touch, and mused on the possibilities inherent in their dinner plans. He hoped that the Hat wouldn't take too long to sort him out, as he was itching to find out if demons were as lacking in morals as mythology suggested they were.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-11 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
Vladimir smiled down at Kuronue, enjoying his touch, and wishing that it were on unclothed skin- still, it was nothing to complain about in the Sorting Room. Especially when freely given, which was proving an unusually enjoyable aspect of Hogwarts that partially made up for the lack of slaves- the young men here were so much more obliging than the Imperium's, where he usually had to buy them as slaves from the pleasure planet. And then sometimes still had to drug them to get them to cooperate.

He shifted a bit closer to Kuronue as he nodded, replying, "It is said that he who controls the Spice controls the universe. Perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration, but, only a mild one. One of the three planets my House governs is the Spice planet." The assured confidence in his voice was due to the fact that the Baron was one of the wealthiest individuals in the Imperium, and, as the Imperium was both immense and heavily influenced by a megacorporation that had the final say in most matters, this meant that he was very powerful indeed. His House's exceptional military strength was difficult to rival as well. For many years he held the contract to govern the Imperium's most valuable planet, Arrakis, only source of the Spice, and he used his time very profitably. And planned to use it just as profitably once it was properly returned to his power- giving it up to the Atredies was merely a ruse, as Arrakis was the bait of the trap. Little could he have forseen the unexpected religious uprising that would end up ruining all of his well-constructed plans.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-12 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
"Spice is the most valuable substance in the Imperium, for without it, there would be no space travel. It also extends life, promotes health, and has a pleasant psychedelic effect. In large quantities, it's swiftly addictive, and withdrawal kills. And, it smells very much like cinnamon. I'd be pleased to share some with you when we have our little dinner." He smiled at Kuronue, adding, "When the Hat is done, and you're able to leave here, send me a note when you'd like to meet up- or, just come by the Muggle Studies department. I'm usually there, and there's so much time that needs to be filled with pleasant diversions." The Baron was always willing to share the Spice with a pretty young man, and never complained about a surprise visit from one either. From the way that he was eying Kuronue, he had 'pleasant diversions' on his mind other than the drinking of spiced wine.

Re: Vote : Hufflepuff

Date: 2009-10-13 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
The Baron smiled, and squeezed Kuronue's shoulder before finally taking his hand away, a bit reluctantly. "And I shall be anticipating your visit as well, Kuronue. It's truly been a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I should probably stop monopolizing your time and let you get back to meeting some of the other residents of the school- I hope you'll find it an interesting place." Vladimir had certainly found it interesting, namely due to exceptional specimens like the bat-winged demon. He would indeed be looking forward to seeing him again.

Profile

hh_mirror: (Default)
HH_mirror

March 2022

S M T W T F S
  12345
67 89101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 4th, 2025 07:26 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios