Break out the brain bleach!

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Nathan's trauma and pain had to be shared. He had house-elves make copies—enlarged copies—of the horrific Dr. Rockzo-swaying-package photo and sent them on to the rest of Dethklok. Including Ofdensen, just to get back at him for compromising Nathan's nonexistent "anonymity" on the compy post.



He also doodled identical pictures on Toki and Skwisgaar's messages: There was a beaming Fu Manchu'd stick figure in a wedding dress holding a bouquet and deddy bear, and a demented-looking, sharp-toothed clown in a bodysuit tux. In the background was a scowling stick figure with long blond hair and a skull belt buckle, with a scribble above his head meant to denote his anger and jealousy. Just in case it wasn't obvious enough, Nathan added a little broken heart to the side.

Comments

Howler to Nathan (yeah, he's that pissed)

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

WHY DID YOU SEND ME THIS?

Return owl

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Having never received a Howler before, it understandably startled the hell out of Nathan when it started, well, howling at him. In Ofdensen's voice. Augh.

But at least he knew who'd sent it.

He sent a reply via owl.


What the fuck was that? Don't do that. Seriously. I think I need hearing aids now. There's just ringing. Shit, my ears are probably bleeding.

Nathan


Like he hadn't already been going deaf.

Re: Return owl

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

You're not going deaf, that was a Howler. It's used to show extreme displeasure.

You can yell at me all you like, but do not ever bring up Dr. Rockso in my presence or in a letter to me.

Return owl

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Jesus, okay. You hate clowns. Got it.

I know he's a douchebag and all but, uh, you weren't even the one he felt up. I mean, Murderface and Toki both probably need rabies shots after getting felt up by that asshole. Why do you hate him so much?

Nathan

Re: Return owl

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

(after a few minutes pondering what he should say...)

It's a long story Nathan. Maybe I'll tell you someday.

Return owl

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

What, and then you'll finally tell me where babies come from too? Come on.

Nathan

No owl

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

Ofdensen sighed. By all means, Nathan had a right to know about Ofdensen's suspicions that Dr. Rockso gave the military plans for the Danzig concert.

But something was holding him back. It had been long after that, and Ofdensen had gotten his own personal revenge on that too.

He chose not to reply to Nathan.

No owl either, just a >:( in Ofdensen's general direction

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Nathan hated being treated like a child, nevermind that he acted like one 90% of the time, so he got good and pissed off by the total lack of response. For about 2 minutes, anyway, before mentally shrugging and going back to getting drunk. He'd just have to bug Ofdensen about it later possibly while he was high in the next Potions class.

[dood-cinnabon.livejournal.com]

The return letter was written with a dicta-quill since Pickles didn't know about Howler's yet.

DOOD WHAT DA FUCK MAN?! WHAT DA FUCK?! WHEY DA HELL WOULD YOU SEND ME DAT?! DOOD!! WHAT DA FUCK?!

Y'KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU MAN! FUCK YOU!

Return owl

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Nathan pretty much always used a Dicta-quill. Because he was lazy.


HAHAHA I HAD TO SHARE MY PAIN

I'M NOT SORRY

PS BLAME SKWISGAAR

Nathan

Re: Return owl

[dood-cinnabon.livejournal.com]

Dood, that is naht fuckin cool.

I'mma get you back fer this Nat'an.

Pickles.

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

((. . . I have no idea what possessed me to write an epic-length sock involving Shoggies and Elric just for Toki to reply to an owl, but, it happened. Posted with the Shoggies journal, so that Nathan can react to the Shoggy if he wants. XD ))

Toki, rather than being offended, found Nathan's letter hilarious. It was yet another chance to make fun of Nathan's for being a gay clown-lover, which had proved a fantastic source of entertainment already. Nathan all pissed off was just funny, and, after witnessing Nathan trying to chase Skwisgaar down the hallway, he was pretty sure he'd have no problem outrunning the singer if he decided to come after him. Having some understanding of just why Nathan would send a magically enhanced image of clown ass to the band helped him not rise to the extra bait scribbled on his message.

A particularily evil thought struck Toki- instead of replying by owl or dicta-quill, he decided to send one of the 'eyesball throw-up' children to deliver the message, verbally, presuming it would tell not just Nathan, but everybody else too. Shoggy 18 was the one that recieved the dubious honor, not that Toki had figured out which Shoggy was which. He carefully and patiently told the Shoggy to go find Nathan Explosion to tell him that it was really great that he finally wanted to share his love of Dr. Rockzo with the rest of the band, and that he was so happy that they were getting married. He figured the Shoggy couldn't manage anything more complicated, but, it didn't need to be any more complicated. He knew that the Shoggy would have to find Nathan, which meant that it would have to go around asking where he was. Which meant that the Shoggies would invariably tell people, "We has to tells Nathan that Master Toki is soooo happy for him and his gay clown-loves wedding with Dr. Rockzo! It's sooo great that Nathan wants everyones to know abouts it!" and other such Shoggy-interpreted variants of the message.

And that is exactly what Shoggy 18 did in its effort to find Nathan. This included the harassment of a rather horrified looking albino, who screamed at it before chasing it down with a sword and producing Shoggy 18.5, which bore the focus of Elric's unhinged wrath at what had to be a thing of Chaos while Shoggy 18 hurried as far as it could from the overreacting Melnibonean. (Incidentally, Elric spawned Shoggies 18.6-18.9, as well as Shoggy 30, and Shoggies 30.1-31.7 before he gave up and ran off into the forest to sulk, and determine a better way to overcome the amorphous menace. Luckily, only Shoggy 18 remembered Toki's message. In a confused Shoggy sort of way.)

Shoggy 18 eventually did find Nathan, and told him, "Master Toki sent me, and it took soooo long to finds you! Master Toki wants you to knows that it's reallies great that you finally wants to share your gay clown-loves with Dr. Rockzo with the bands! Master Toki says he's sooo happy for your gay clown-loves wedding! I think it's sooo cool too! Do we gets to come to the wedding? Will there be eyesball sandwiches?"

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

((*soooo dead*))

Nathan stared at the quivering blob of guts and eyeballs for a very long moment, wondering just what the hell it was and where he could get one. Because seriously, that was way more metal than an owl for delivering messages. He'd definitely have to ask Toki later—possibly after punching him. Or after punching Skwisgaar, just to really piss Toki off. Apparently Nathan's already forgotten why it's a bad idea to piss Toki off.

"Uh. Right. You go tell your... Toki, tell him to fuck himself. With a Swedish dildo. Can you do that?" He paused to think about what else he should have Toki's weird little pet say. "You know what, Toki's a little confused. He's the one who's gonna marry the gay clown, not me. So you go back and congratulate him and ask him for your 'eyesball sandwiches', whatever the hell those are. Don't forget about telling him to fuck himself with a Swedish dildo, okay? He loves that shit."

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

As Elric had significantly multiplied the Shoggy population at Hogwarts during his encounter with Shoggy 18 (several smaller ones had recombined in order to assure that everyone had eyeballs, but he'd still added a good 15 or so to the roster), finding a Shoggy of his own probably wouldn't be too hard. Although the mun thinks it would be pretty damn funny for Toki and Skwisgaar to display their brilliant parenting skills by Nathan convincing them to chop one in half and make him one.

Shoggy 18 listened as carefully as it could to Nathan's instructions, and it was pretty sure that it understood them, so it repeated them back to Nathan as best it could. "I'm supposeds to go back to Master Toki, and tells him that he's got to fuck himself withs a Swedish dildo because he loves it soooo much. And he's gonna get married with the gay clown-loves, but not you, and, so I congratulate on him and I'll get eyesball sandwiches." Shoggy 18 wasn't sure what congratulating involved, but, it was going to make its best effort.

It hurried back toward Hufflepuff, only getting lost a couple of times, all the while trying its very best to remember the message. It also stopped to introduce itself to some of the new Shoggies, and made sure to tell them that it was in a hurry because Master Toki needed to fuck himself with Swedish dildos, and, asked them what they thought congratulating someone involved. Eventually, they decided that it involved their pseudopods, and Shoggy 18 continued on its way.

By the time Shoggy 18 reached Toki and Skwisgaar's room, it was sure that it remembered the message perfectly. When Toki opened the door for it, it announced happily, "I asked lots of people and founds Nathan! And Nathan told me to tells you that he's sooo happy that you're gonna get married with gay clown-loves too, but not with him! He wants me to fuck you. . .or, no, he wants yous to fuck yourselfs with a Swedish dildo! What's a Swedish dildo? Is it 'yum yum'? And when are yous gonna get married with the gay clown-loves? I wants to come, and can Shoggies come too?" By now, all the other Shoggies that were living in the room were listening with rapt attention, and all were very curious about what a Swedish dildo was. "And I almost forgots! I'm supposed to congratulate on yous and get sandwiches!"

Shoggy 18 'congratulated' Toki thouroughly. Which apparently involved clinging to his leg with a number of pseudopods, and then splurting a bunch of acid on his thigh. Luckily, he was wearing pants. Toki shook off Shoggy 18, telling it was a very bad Shoggy, and to go in the drawer for a while, with which it complied a bit sulkily while Toki quickly stripped off his acid-drenched pants and got the burn ointment, while all the rest of the Shoggies started looking for a Swedish dildo. He wasn't so sure that sending Shoggies to deliver messages was a good idea anymore.