The Unpopping of River Tam

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River found herself in the not unfamiliar state of being utterly disoriented.

This is not logical; there is not enough butter on Serenity to bathe in.
And yet, to spite the illogical bend of the situation, here she was, covered in butter. Did they even have butter?

And, surrounded by popcorn.
There is not enough popcorn on Serenity to fill a room.
This was a highly illogical situation. A distressing one.

"Simon?" she called out, tentatively. She didn't expect an answer. That... was far more distressing than the popcorn.
Don't be irrational, she thought. It was sound advice.
"Simon?!" She called again, louder. Of course, no answer, but she was allowed to be irrational once in a while. But only for a few seconds. If Simon wasn't here, he was obviously elsewhere, so elsewhere she would go. She stepped out of the popcorn room, and dripped down the unfamiliar hallway.

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"I must have forgotten things," she agreed, still staring at him. He was not like Simon. He was also not like Book, Mal, or Jayne. This, to her, was both disconcerting and comforting.

"I must have, Serenity isn't this... roomy. Your cat is licking me." Indeed, the white one was currently going to town on her left foot. It tickled.

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"Her name is Schrodinger," A told her. "She's, she is very curious about things and brave." Einstein lurked at his ankle, eyeing this new arrival cautiously.

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"Paradigm, thought experiment..." She didn't like thought experiments, but this one was cute and friendly, and did not have blue hands, so therefore was at the very least forgivable.

And, cats were not doctors. She crouched, dripping all over the hallway, and offered her hand instead of her foot, which Schrodinger graciously accepted.

"She is not an Austrian physicist. She's much cuter than an Austrian Physicist."

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"I have not met an Austrian physicist. If, if I did, I think I would want to put him in a box."

Einstein was still a bit uncertain, so A knelt to give him his share of attention.

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She smiled a little at that. "It would have to be a rather large box."

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"Not as large as he would want it to be," A said with a savage giggle. "It's not, not right to want to put cats in boxes. Cats are for rolling around in catnip and climbing their cat tree and trying to untangle Kusuriyuri's obi."

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"Kusuri...Yuri," Japanese, Medicine Seller, Apothecary. Doctor. "I don't like doctors."

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"I don't either," A whispered anxiously. "Doctors are, are needles and tests and more, always more and..." Squeezing his eyes shut, he rubbed the crook of his elbow, site of so many blood draws.

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She nodded mutely, trying to rub the worst of the butter off of her hand so she could pet Schrodinger without sliming her. She noticed belatedly that her hands were shaking. Simon would often hold her hands when they shook.

"They go into your head," she murmured after a moment, her voice flat. "They didn't let me dance."

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"Put things. Things to learn. Hypotheticals and scenarios and lists and lists to know, and never good enough..." A flinched, wringing his hands.

"I, I never, there was no dancing, that wasn't a thing to learn."

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"I love dancing," she said, grabbing on to the topic for dear life. No doctors, no more. She couldn't think of them, not without Simon there with his good medicine.

"It is the most wonderful thing in the world." Though, cats were quickly becoming second-most wonderful on her list. Schrodinger was purring.

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"I haven't seen any, not dancing. I, I know what it is, but the closest I've been to it was when Mello tried to teach me how to fight and we had to stop because I didn't want to be touched. Although maybe the way the cats move is a little like a dance sometimes."

Albeit a fairly chaotic one.

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River gave him a pitying look. If she wasn't currently slimy with butter, and if she had music (it was always better with music you could hear and feel) she would have danced for him right then and there.

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"I am learning things here. The cats are teaching me to play, and to rest, and Kusuriyuri is teaching me to use plants, and I am learning to be green."

Kurama had told Kusuriyuri and L about the lessons he was giving A in manipulating plant energy, but he wasn't sure how many people should know.

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"You'll need to learn harder," she said, peering at him closely, "you still look pinkish-tan to me."

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"Green like plants becoming strong under the sun," he clarified. "Flowers opening and fruit becoming ripe."

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"Oh." She said simply. Leaning this close, she could easily smell him. "You smell like flowers."

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"Primavera and Kurama found it in the mangosteen grove," he said as if she'd know who he meant. "A chest full of little bottles of oils that smelled like things. I liked the ones that smelled like flowers because they remind me of my garden even when I am not there."

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"It's good," she announced, nodding her head with finality. Schrodinger was nibbling on her skirt, so she flipped the cat over and began to tickle its belly. she grimaced a little when more butter dripped all over the little cat, but said feline didn't seem to mind.

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Finally sick of Schrodinger getting all the attention now that he was sure this new person was no threat, Einstein padded up to her with a plaintive mew, licking at her buttery hand.

A smiled at that; Einstein could be a little shy when meeting people.

"There are more that I haven't tried yet," he told her. "Primavera said sometimes they smell different on your skin than in the bottle."

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River petted both cats simultaneously as she processed that information.
"Is Primavera a companion?" The name sounded vaguely companion-like, and the only female she knew who actively wore or worked with oils and the like was Inara, aside from those few times when Kaylee would get crazy with the strawberry air freshener.

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"I don't know what she is." Of course, he wasn't sure what she meant by 'companion' either. "Kurama was talking to her. She acted like everything bored her."

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"Who's Kurama?" She asked, continuing to entertain the cats. Most of the excess butter had dripped to the floor by now, and was starting to dry. She would normally have been more interested in finding a shower or something, but this boy - whoever he was - seemed far more intriguing.

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"Kurama knows about plants. He helped me protect the mangosteen grove before Lezard put up a charm to make it stay warm for always, and he met a leopard cat there."

A was rather intrigued as well, even if he did find the oiled effect somewhat disquieting.

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"I see," she said. Then, after a moment. "Who are you?"