Natural Consequences (Closed RP: Kusuriyuri, A)

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

((OOC: the day after))

Kusuriyuri needed to talk to A. While the growing confidence was encouraging and the progress was most encouraging, A still lacked an understanding for the results of his actions. He still focused on the immediate to the detriment of the long term, as B's mounting paranoia showed.

He sat in his office in silent meditation for the better part of the morning, trying to sort out what the best way to speak with A about the incident. He wanted A to continue to grow and develop, didn't want to discourage him. But, A must also be made aware of the results of his actions and begin thinking about them.

With a sigh, Kusuriyuri penned a note and asked a house elf to deliver it to A and then bring him lunch.

The contents of the note:

Deshi,

If you are free, please join me for lunch in my office.

Comments

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri nods. "Now that A knows, I have no doubt of it."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"But I'll never know," he whispers, wringing his hands and rocking slightly. "I'll never know all the ripples."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Nor shall I, deshi. But, I can know the larger ones and work to control the others when I learn of them." He wonders if an example would be wise and decides it may. "I did not know that how I spoke of B would upset deshi. It was a ripple that I found out about after and then controlled."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A shudders and struggles to take a deep breath. "You, you did not meant it to..."

He doesn't want to think about it.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"No, I did not," Kusuriyuri agrees. "I did not want A to be harmed. And, after this, it will not be brought up again until deshi will not be harmed by it." He squeezes A's hand. "But, it will also show deshi that I do not know all the ripples, either. It is a matter of learning what you can know and guessing for what you cannot and making corrections when needed. It is not easy to learn, deshi."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"It's so much," A murmurs wretchedly.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Deshi is capable or I would not have offered it to him." Had he felt A unable to learn about the consequences of his actions, the conversation would have steered in a different direction, one that would result in a list of dos and don'ts, one that would greatly appeal to L. He squeezes A's hand again. "I believe in you," he says firmly.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A stares at Kusuriyuri in shock. L has said things like that, but Kusuriyuri is more restrained in his praise. He grips his teacher's hand and abruptly begins to cry.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri places his free hand on A's head. This outburst feels more of relief than tension so he'll allow it to pass naturally rather than trying to work on helping A to understand.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

The touch is soothing, fortifying, and so A doesn't cry for long, not for very long, and when he looks up he's plainly embarrassed.

"I, I'm sorry, I..."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"Deshi need not apologize. When release is needed, then it should not be held back." Without taking his hand from A's, he reaches with the other for a napkin off the table and wipes A's cheeks. He regards the boy seriously. "There is no need for apology," he repeats, handing the napkin to A.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A smiles at that, and sniffles a little. "You are very good to me."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"A is my deshi. I expect much from him. He meets my expectations, exceeding them frequently. Why should I not be good to him." Though unusual for him, he knows A needs the reassurance right now, especially with the task set to him.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"I. I want to be right. I want you to be proud."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"When deshi tries, and questions and listens when he does not know, this is what I ask," Kusuriyuri murmurs. "I do not ask more than you are capable of, A."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A bows his head. "I will not stop trying."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

Kusuriyuri squeezes A's hand. "That is good, very good, then." His voice carries a definite note of pride in it, though he'd not directly speak of it.