Owl to the Sorting Hat: CV for Astronomy

[beantheory.livejournal.com]

Bean's obsessive paranoia exploration of the castle and the school records had rewarded him with a startling discovery.

There was a school vacancy. And the staff seemed non-traditional enough that they might actually accept a seven-year-old as professor.



Hat,

It has come to my attention that the school has a vacancy available for Astronomy. I would like to submit my CV for this position.

Thank you.
Bean


Name
Bean Julian Delphiki
Bean

Position Desired
-Professor of Astronomy

Education
Battle School (Toon Leader of Dragon Army, Commander of Rabbit Army)
Tactical School
Command School

Relevant Experience
-Key member of Ender Wiggin's jeesh during the Third Invasion
-First-hand knowledge of navigating in space

Published essays:
-Problems in Campaigning Between Solar Systems Separated by Lightyears
-Officers as Teachers: The Perpetuation of Ineffective Traits

(note: essays only published within the International Fleet)

Other Qualifications
-Genetically altered thinking machine

References
Sister Carlotta
Captain Dimak
Colonel Graff
Andrew 'Ender' Wiggin

Comments

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Bean! I will forward your CV to the Board of Governors immediately!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Bean, your level of maturity commends you to the Board of Governors. At the age of seven you must certainly possess the gravitas to stand alongside our noble professors Homsar and Pufnstuf. Please be assured that Jeb the Time-Traveling Walrus (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1525749.html) had absolutely nothing to do with our decision. We like you for you!

Therefore, Bean, you are hereby appointed Professor of Astronomy of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for the standard term of one year, to be continued upon application and approval. Your pay is set at the standard rate of *G*5,000 per annum, with room, board and sufficient robes and linens, and a house elf designated to attend to your needs. You may continue to live in Ravenclaw House, if you wish. However, you may wish to make use of separate, more private chambers. Your office and classroom are located in the Astronomy Tower. Your keys to these rooms are enclosed, as well as keys to the staff room and staff bath.

The Board of Governors wishes you the best success in your teaching endeavors.