COMC: How to Sex Your Furby

[dinosaurman.livejournal.com]

It was the promised second half of Care of Magical Creatures, and it was being held in the same calendar year! In the same season, no less!

Normally, COMC would have been a boring lecture followed by a group activity. Today, though, the professor was unprepared. Unprepared, unmotivated, and uninterested. So instead, written on the chalkboard was an assignment:

Male Furbies
-Larger body size
-More pronounced curve of the beak
-Longer fur tuft on top of head

Female Furbies
-Smaller body
-Longer toes
-Wider hips

WHAT GENDER IS YOUR FURBY? DISCUSS.

Since he was technically supposed to be in the room while he was "teaching," Grant was sitting at a desk at the front of the room, reading a book. He'd even put it down if somebody asked him a question. And while Grant was normally a stickler for proper terminology, there was no way in hell he was going to tell his students to "sex your furby."

((COMC Rules: There are no partners or assigned groups. This is an open RP to all students, even people who aren't on the list or don't have furbies. If your character is furby-less, you can assume they pick up a loaner furby at the door. There is no right or wrong answer. If you need prof or TA attention, PLEASE put a note in the subject line.))

Comments

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with girls! My mom is a girl!"

Yuuri's logic was, in this instance, unassailable.

"Okay, Mee-Mee Noo-Loo (http://www.mimitchi.com/html/ffaq3.htm#Q9)." He squared off against the Furby, who merely peeped a cheerful noise at him, completely unperturbed by Yuuri's determination and discomfiture. "We have to figure out whether you're a boy or a girl."

Wider hips? Did Mee-Mee Noo-Loo even have hips?

Yuuri stared at the Furby for a long uncomfortable moment. The Furby blinked its weird eyelids at him like shutters.

"Um. I think you're a boy. Because of your large body size," Yuuri finally decided.

Maybe Mee-Mee Noo-Loo was just fat? Or very well-nourished? Did large body size really mean anything? Aiii!

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Wolfram, meanwhile, was wondering about something else. "I wonder if our mothers have longer toes?" He knew that they had wider hips and smaller bodies. At least, they will. Wolfram would be taller than his mother one day.... one day.

If he had to inherit so much of his mother's appearance, why couldn't have he also received her statuesque height!?

"And I think it's a girl. Mee-Mee Noo-Loo is a girl's name. No boy would let himself be called that!"

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Yuuri looked from Wolfram to the Furby and back again. This could get to be a problematic situation. An exaggerated drop of sweat beaded at his forehead.

Then, suddenly, he had a Eureka! moment.

"Hey, we're supposed to be able to talk to our Furby friends, right? Why don't we just ask Mee-Mee Noo-Loo whether he's a boy or a girl? Mee-Mee Noo-Loo, how about it? Are you a boy Furby or a girl Furby?"

The answer made Yuuri doubt his Furbish fluency.

"Does 'hello, sailor' mean boy or girl?" he asked Wolfram.

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Wolfram just crossed his arms and glowered at Yuuri. "I didn't even know that you were a sailor! Yuuri, why did you tell the Furby about your nautical adventures and not me!?" The blond had a particular distaste for sailing, and he suspected that this was the reason behind Yuuri's newfound profession. Baseball and boats...

Wonderful!

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"I'm -- I'm not a sailor! Why are you -- I think it's just a figure of speech!" stammered the beleaguered Maou.

The Furby blinked its eyes some more, then opened and shut its beak in an unholy pantomime of laughter.

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

"Of course you're not! You have enough trouble being a Maou, let alone being a Maou on water. You can't sail around the world, Yuuri! You'd get kidnapped by pirates and eaten by dolphins!" The blond nodded his head. And then the blond would have to follow the king around to protect him, and be miserable doing it.

He blinked at the Furby with concerned. "Is she trying to say something?"

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"She's probably trying to tell you that dolphins don't eat people! I met one! His name is Bandou-kun and he's very nice!"

Yuuri completely lost sight of the fact that his pronoun choice meant he now agreed with Wolfram's theory on the Furby's gender.

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Last time Yuuri mentioned Bandou-kun, he ended up in a headlock. So he was fortunate that all he received this time was a hearty holler (proof that, if anything, Wolfram was feeling healthy). "Yes, I know you think Bandou-kun is very nice! Why don't you adopt him instead of a Furby, so that you can shake hands with him all you want!?"

The blond then looked at the Furby. "You may feel his majesty's love now, but believe me. His affections are forever wavering, like the ripples of a particularly wimpy lake. He likes Bandou-kun more than you."

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"By the way, Bandou-kun is a boy. The people at the aquarium said so."

Since the subject of the argument was supposedly the Furby's gender, Yuuri felt this information was wholly relevant.

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Wolfram nodded and continued to speak to Mee-Mee Noo-Loo. "Yes, Yuuri will flirt with both boy and girl dolphins. So you must be especially vigilant."