Owls: Sorting Bribes

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Ayame had spent most of the time since his sorting holed up in his room, which was now covered in snippets of thread, designing and sewing and getting house-elves to go find out people's measurements for him. Finally, his sorting bribes were done. A flurry of owls went out, each bearing a package and a note. They're not warded, because Ayame's been too busy sewing to learn any magic yet.

The package contains a wool cloak and a night gown.
My apologies for the delay. Please let me know if either piece requires further fitting, and when you are ready to get to the bottom of the shameful business hinted at in the application.
Cordially,
Ayame Sohma
---
The package contains a kimono.
Tomo-san:
I hope this fits! Let me know if it needs any alterations made.
Ayame Sohma
---
Not actually a package, but a large envelope holding several shirt collars folded out of crisp white paper.
Mr. Scott:
Here are the first samples of the official Dunder Mifflin uniform collars.
Ayame Sohma
---
The package contains a bowler hat.
Please accept this in thanks for sorting me into Slytherin House.
Cordially,
Ayame Sohma

Comments

Return owl, not warded either 'cause Tomo's a slacker

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((Hee, now I get to find screencaps of the summer festival episodes to icon Tomo-inna-kimono. And the mun HIGHLY approves of the color. XD))

Ayame,

The kimono is awesome! It'll look great on me!

...about that. Might have to come find ya to make SURE it fits me perfectly! Don't want to mess up a work of art by dragging it on the floor or something and I don't remember how to tie a kimono anyway. Let me know where I can find you!

- Tomo

Return owl, still not warded

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Tomo-san,

I've been sorted into Slytherin House. If you'd like to come by, I'll prop the door open.

Ayame

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

It actually didn't take Tomo very long to find the door to Slytherin, having taken an unscheduled detour into the dungeons for about a week already much to the chagrin of its denizens that did not like loud obnoxious things. So it was only half an hour later when she poked her head through the door to the common room, peering around furtively (hey, Crazy Diseased Girl (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1465663.html?thread=74198079#t74198079) lived here, after all) before mock-stealthily creeping in, kimono in hand.

For Tomo, "stealthy" meant "not loudly announcing her presence" so Ayame would probably notice her entrance immediately.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Ayame glanced up as she came in, and grinned. "Tomo-san! So glad you could make it," he said, setting aside the copy of Witch Weekly he'd found lying around somewhere.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

"Me too! Wild zombies couldn't keep me away!" Tomo paused. "Wait, that's not it. I dunno what the real saying says, but zombies are more frightening anyway." And she could actually outrun those.

Despite her usual speed, she was being very careful with the kimono, which she'd somehow managed to wrap up again and re-fold properly. "I haven't worn a kimono since high school! You gonna do the 'Oh, Please Little Lady' game? You know, where you pull the sash and twirl around?"

...in case you haven't noticed, Ayame, Tomo's a bit weird.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"I believe the orignal phrase is 'wild horses,'" Ayame replied. "Have you ever faced down a herd of angry horses? I'd think they'd be fairly terrifying."

"I'm afraid I don't know that game," he added, after a moment. "You'll have to teach me, I suppose."

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but I could hack it!" Tomo insisted. "I've survived the Yukarimobile, and faced down the wrath of an Iriomote cat!" Wrath that was completely justified, and her way of facing it down was whining that it hurt. Semantics. She paused. "Now a mob of wild cats - that'd be scary! The cats on Sakaki's street are like a kitty Yakuza the way they gang up on people!" This was only hearsay, but it was, for once, an accurate description.

"Sure!" She held up the carefully re-packaged kimono. "Where we gonna do this? Don't think the common room's a good place for a fitting." Tomo was not that much of an exhibitionist, thank you very much.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"Mobs of cats can be rather - insistent," he conceded, "as a cousin of mine would tell you. Although he'd probably be louder. And more profane."

Ayame thought for a moment. "I'm not sure where we could go, unless you'd like to go into my room? If you don't have a problem with going into a strange man's room with him, that is..." he shrugged. It wasn't as if he meant her any harm - or if he did, that he could act on it, between her general spazzyness and his tendency to turn into a small garden snake when he collided with people wrong...

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't like cats, huh? Sounds like the opposite of Sakaki. She loves cats, but she's the quietest person ever!" Which Tomo more than made up for.

Ayame had a point, but... he was no Kimura, and Tomo was pretty sure she could take him, and it wasn't like she had a figure like Kagura or Sakaki anyway. "Not unless you're a Kimura in disguise! And I've got a sixth sense for these kinda things, anyway. It's just for a fitting!"

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"Right this way then," he said, standing and heading to his dorm. He held the door open for her. "Sorry about the mess. I wasn't exactly expecting company."

The room was, to put it bluntly, a bit of a disaster. Bits of thread and cloth still littered the place, and what little he'd brought with him was only half-unpacked.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

"Nah, it's okay," Tomo said, walking in. "Wow! It looks like a fabric store exploded," she observed, looking around with frank admiration. Hey, she wasn't the neatest person either. You had to appreciate a good mess when you saw it.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"So gracious of you," he replied dryly, and then turned his attention to the task at hand. Because, yes, Ayame was occasionally capable of doing that.

"Alright then, Tomo-san! Let's see what you do remember about how to wear a kimono! Chop-chop!" he announced, clapping his hands.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

"Hey, it's pretty impressive!" What? It was.

Tomo unfolded the kimono and paused. It would be fine over the light shirt and slacks she was wearing because Tomo was insane and wearing summer clothes for some reason, but she was still a little lost. "Uh..."

Okay, she could do this. Chiyo-chan could do it! "Okay, you line it up like this," she began, making sure the collar ends were brought together, "and open it up over the back..." She managed to get as far as getting the kimono over her shoulders, and lifted the kimono enough so it was just above her ankles. Then she stopped, fumbling with the overlays. "Left first, left out, right, then left. No, wait, right first, right out, left then right?"

It was a miracle she'd gotten this far, so Ayame might need to step in.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"Right side next to your body, and left over it," Ayame corrected, after a moment's thought. He rarely wore one himself, but as a costumer, he did at least know how to do it. "Unless you're dead, of course. But I don't think you are."

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((Workninja! Will probably be consumed by work for another hour or two, don't wait on me. Want to handwave it that Ayame somehow helped her get the sucker tied? This (http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/fashion/how_to_wear_yukata.html) is informative but I don't know if you want to RP it. I'm game either way.))

Tomo obeyed, and somehow managed to fold it properly. "Not possible here! Especially not for someone as full as life as me!" She punched a fist into the air, nearly lost her grip on the edges of the kimono, but recovered - barely.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

((Let's not show it and say we did, eh? Otherwise I'm going to make a complete fool of myself.))

Ayame grinned. "Well said, Tomo-san. Well said!" he exclaimed. "Now, to tie it..."

Fortunatly, helping with something like this was one of the few activities that Ayame was patient with, so even Tomo's extreme levels of energy, it didn't take too long to get the obi tied. Well, not as long as it could have.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((You and me both!))

And Tomo only lost her balance once. Unfortunately, that didn't stop her from harping on her original idea. "You gonna pull the sash and spin me? It's a tradition back home!"

((Another note: Tomo spinning = Tomo crashing, quite possibly in Ayame's general direction. Hence, I leave it up to you where this goes.))

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"And who am I to oppose tradition?" Ayame asked. He took hold of the end of the sash, and pulled it away with a flourish. He looked quite elegant, standing with one hand on his hip and the other held out, the sash flowing away in a gentle curve.

At least, he did until Tomo careened into him. The collision followed the Sohma-specific version of Murphy's Law - if a collision can possibly be considered a hug, it will be. The curse did not allow for any benefit of the doubt, which is why Ayame was now a small grey snake. He slithered quickly out of the folds of his clothes, not wanting to take the risk that Tomo would step on them and, consequentially, him.

"Well, that was graceful," he commented.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((Wow. This icon has never been more appropriate.))

As Ayame pulled the sash, Tomo went into a spin that looked elegant - for maybe two rotations. "WHOO-HOO!" But, as usual, she overdid it. Her foot slipped on something, and Tomo wobbled, still spinning like an out-of-control top, leaning one way and then the other before she finally lost her balance and went flying smack into Ayame. They went down with a tremendous crash and a tumble of limbs and fabric and...

...smoke?

Tomo sat up, dazed, looking around. "Ayame?" Blink. Blink. No sign of him. "Where'd he go?" She stumbled to her feet and finally noticed the familiar clothes on the floor. She started to pick one up, and recognized it was what Ayame had been wearing. But there was no Ayame. "AUGH! I BLEW HIM UP!"

Not gonna panic, not gonna panic... too late. Commence flailing at Mach 5.

She hadn't noticed the snake yet, although she might once she ran out of steam which would be shortly as Tomo tended to burn herself out quickly and didn't understand the concept of pacing herself. "What am I gonna do? I turned him into clothes! But I didn't have my wand! How'd I do that?"

...from the girl who wanted to be a detective, this was probably not a promising reaction.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Ayame sighed. He'd forgotten how much of a hassle it could be to have to calm someone down enough to explain - it had been years since he'd been hugged by someone who didn't already know about the curse. And most of those encounters hadn't required much explanation, anyway, just a quick visit from Hatori.

But Hatori wasn't here, or anyone that would insist on a memory wipe. And Ayame quite liked Tomo - even if he was able to have her memory suppressed, he would feel awful about it. For a while, at least. So explanation it was.

"It's ok," he began, but she was too busy yelling and flailing to hear him. So he paused for a moment, and tried again. Louder, this time; much louder.

"HEY! DOWN HERE!" he yelled, hoping to break through her panic before she did something really stupid, and before he transformed back. If possible, people tended to react even worse when he "reappeared" naked than when he "disappeared." Of course, Tomo wasn't exactly the typical accidental hugger, but still...

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((Sorry this took so long, I honestly had no idea how Tomo would react. Then I decided to go with the retarded reaction.))

Fortunately for Ayame, Tomo threw her all into the spaz attack - which meant that she would run out of steam fairly quickly. In fact, she was starting to wind down by the time Ayame first called out.

So when he shouted, she had just paused for breath, and froze. "Ayame?" She looked all around, under the clothes, behind the boxes... and then saw the snake.

Blink. Blink. Blink. "Uh..."

She hadn't gotten her second wind yet, and the puzzle pieces hadn't quite clicked. Ayame would have to speak up again for her to maybe get it. Maybe.

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

((Reposted with correct icon...)

"I'm down here," he repeated, carefully coiling himself and looking up at her. If he worked at it, Ayame could hold his head maybe eight or nine inches off the floor. "That's right, the snake. It's a family curse," he explained. "I'm possessed by the spirit of the Snake - the transformation was triggered when you ran into me."

Well, he couldn't put it much plainer than that. Hopefully he wouldn't have to rush to the library and look up memory charms or anything.

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

Tomo stared at Ayame again. She knelt down, peering at him sideways as if he was one of those 3-D visual puzzles that would change if you looked at them from another angle. "...you change when somebody runs into you? What kinda curse is that, to keep your family out of contact sports or something?"

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

"Well, technically, it's supposed to be a hug that does it." If Ayame had fingers right now, he'd be doing air-quotes. Unfortunately, as a snake, he was rather short on hands. "A hug from a member of the opposite gender, that is; I don't transform if I'm hugged by a boy. And in practice, one arm on either side of the body counts as a hug."

He paused for a moment, considering the second part of her question. "... you know, I'm not really sure how the family was cursed. It's been that way for generations, but I'm not sure how it started."

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

It took Tomo a second to do the math as to how the curse worked. "...wait, does that mean you can't have sex?" The mere thought was horrifying! Not like she had any experience, but the possibility still existed. "Well, not unless you swing towards guys, I guess! But if you don't, that's cruel!"

Hey, she wasn't exactly nice to her friends, but making jokes about Yomi's weight (and getting smacked for it) and mocking Chiyo-chan (and getting smacked for it) was nothing compared to that. "Must've been a really messed-up reason. How long you gonna be stuck like that?"

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Of course she'd go there. This girl was like a young, female Shigure.

"I think there have been cases of cursed members of the family having children. My cousins and I never discovered exactly how they managed it." By "cousins," of course, he means "Shigure." He suspects that Hatori knew the details and was just refusing to tell them.

"We haven't figured out how to break the curse yet... or did you mean me, personally? I should transform back in a couple minutes."

[tomowildcat.livejournal.com]

((OH MY GOD. I could have sworn I replied to this! Next time I drop a thread like this, poke me on e-mail?))

An apt comparison in some respects, but Shigure probably had more subtlety. (A fire truck had more subtlety at times.) "...uh. Very carefully?" she guessed, seriously considering the logistics there.

"Guess if you don't know how it started, it's gonna be hard figuring out how to break it." Somehow, in the shock, her long-unused common sense was kicking in for a change. "Oh, yeah! A snake! That's why you wanted Slytherin, huh?"

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

To Mister Sohma,

I have examined both works and find them acceptable. Please accept this as a tip (http://images.vinylpulse.com/vp_pics/gargamel_2nd_anniversary/wonder/Maou_l.jpg). The shopkeeper said that it contains the spirit of a were-dog in its stomach, and will protect you from lecherous humans. Also, it is very tasty rock candy.

I am ready to confront this shameful member of that disgusting Order. We must act in haste, before he realizes our plans and has time to think up a deceptive answer. Remember to stay behind me the entire encounter, and do not look directly at him. Especially when he winks.

Sincerely,

Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff

[ayameonaplane.livejournal.com]

Ayame considered the "tip" for a moment; having grown up with Shigure, he wasn't sure if the spirit of a dog was the best way to protect oneself from lechery. Still, it was candy, and he popped it in his mouth as he penned a reply.

Sir Wolfram,
I agree, time is of the essence. Where shall I meet you?
Cordially,
Ayame Sohma

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Mister Ayame Sohma,

Meet me tomorrow between quarter past thirteen hundred hours and seventeen past thirteen hundred hours on the third floor (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1528121.html#cutid1), west of the trophy room. Do not diverge from this schedule. Wear comfortable clothes and practical shoes. Do not allow yourself to be seen.

Silence is our gift, courage is our strength.

Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff

[office-michael.livejournal.com]

Ay-ay-ay-Ayame,
Eye on me,
Biopsy,

Ayame,

Those collar prototypes are Dundertastic and Miffabulous! Do you have any really low-cut ones for the ladies? It would be a shame to hide Pam and Jadzia’s cleavage.

Michael Scott
Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade
Prefect, Slytherin House

((OOC: Michael is not really a Slytherin Prefect. He just thinks he is.))

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr Sohma:

It is a wonderful bowler hat, and I shall wear it proudly atop my point! Perhaps I shall even charm it to do 360s!

The Sorting Hat