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hh_mirror((Done with permission from the relevant DS-muns.))
There weren't a lot of things that could surprise her anymore. More was the pity, really; life was supposed to be one big wonderland ride, full of unexpected moments. But once you figured out the little secrets, once you'd peeked behind the curtain and seen up the dress of the wizard, it all got a little too mundane.
Victoria Metcalf strode into the Sorting Room, bag in hand, every hair in place, thanks to the washroom in the train station, coat clutched tightly around her. She was always cold, it seemed, but at least she could blame the Scottish winter for it now. She walked in and she didn't blink when the quill started writing out her answers for her, didn't show a flicker of surprise at the unusual questions. Because even if you didn't know what was going on, you had to act as if you did.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Voice smooth and with a calculated edge of whimsy, Victoria tapped the edge of the table with one finger and said, "Is it out of place if I say whatever you use for baked macaroni and cheese? I know that I'm probably supposed to say something like Brie or Royal Blue Stilton, but I guess I just have simple tastes," she smiled, a little shyly, and shrugged.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A little blink, a head tilt, the slightest widening of her eyes and Victoria looked up at the room, confused. "I'm sorry," she said, tone apologetic. "I'm afraid I don't understand the question."
3. What time is it where you are?
Pushing back the sleeve of her black coat, Victoria peered down at a simple gold watch before shaking the cuff back down over her wrist.
"Quarter past three."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
For a moment, she was quiet. Then, head tilting back a little to expose the curve of a pale neck, teeth flashing slightly between upturned lips, Victoria laughed. There was really nothing more to say to that.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Purple Rose." The answer came a little too quickly and Victoria shrugged, pushing her finger slowly along the top of the desk, eyes lowered to watch its path. "I like the flower."
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
This elicited another laugh, though this one was slightly bitter. Pausing, formulating her response, Victoria tapped her nail against the wood lightly. A frown creased her forehead just for a second before smoothing out, and she answered quietly, "In Alaska, there's a legend of a race of giants who once inhabited the land. There was a woman who loved a warrior, and he loved her. But on the day they were set to be married, a battle broke out, and he had to leave her. So the woman lay down by the river to wait for him. She fell asleep, and when the news came that her love had died, no one in the village had the heart to wake her."
Victoria took a breath, smiling sadly. "She's there even now. Never stirring, turned to stone, still waiting." One slim shoulder lifted slightly and she looked up. "I supposed Harry should be with the one that he'd turn to stone without."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Wrinkling her nose a little, Victoria waved her hand. "Oh, I'm worthless at paperwork, really. I suppose it's just one of those things."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Ah." Leaning back a little, as if she'd been waiting for this question, Victoria smoothed her coat over her knees as she thought. "Well, how would one prove that, really? You'll probably have to take my word for it, no matter what I say. Unless," she chuckled a little, amused, "you're running background checks on my answers."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Reaching into her pocket, Victoria smoothly pulled out a pocketbook. "So, this is where I write a check?" she asked innocently. "I was lead to believe that there was no tuition, but I can manage a small donation. Or..." She paused, considering. "Well, I do have a few books with me. And I'm a decent cook, if you wanted something homemade? Other than that," she spread her arms a little and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to offer."
"I have read the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___VM_________
I have read thehogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___VM________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____VM______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____VM_________"
There weren't a lot of things that could surprise her anymore. More was the pity, really; life was supposed to be one big wonderland ride, full of unexpected moments. But once you figured out the little secrets, once you'd peeked behind the curtain and seen up the dress of the wizard, it all got a little too mundane.
Victoria Metcalf strode into the Sorting Room, bag in hand, every hair in place, thanks to the washroom in the train station, coat clutched tightly around her. She was always cold, it seemed, but at least she could blame the Scottish winter for it now. She walked in and she didn't blink when the quill started writing out her answers for her, didn't show a flicker of surprise at the unusual questions. Because even if you didn't know what was going on, you had to act as if you did.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Voice smooth and with a calculated edge of whimsy, Victoria tapped the edge of the table with one finger and said, "Is it out of place if I say whatever you use for baked macaroni and cheese? I know that I'm probably supposed to say something like Brie or Royal Blue Stilton, but I guess I just have simple tastes," she smiled, a little shyly, and shrugged.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
A little blink, a head tilt, the slightest widening of her eyes and Victoria looked up at the room, confused. "I'm sorry," she said, tone apologetic. "I'm afraid I don't understand the question."
3. What time is it where you are?
Pushing back the sleeve of her black coat, Victoria peered down at a simple gold watch before shaking the cuff back down over her wrist.
"Quarter past three."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
For a moment, she was quiet. Then, head tilting back a little to expose the curve of a pale neck, teeth flashing slightly between upturned lips, Victoria laughed. There was really nothing more to say to that.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Purple Rose." The answer came a little too quickly and Victoria shrugged, pushing her finger slowly along the top of the desk, eyes lowered to watch its path. "I like the flower."
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
This elicited another laugh, though this one was slightly bitter. Pausing, formulating her response, Victoria tapped her nail against the wood lightly. A frown creased her forehead just for a second before smoothing out, and she answered quietly, "In Alaska, there's a legend of a race of giants who once inhabited the land. There was a woman who loved a warrior, and he loved her. But on the day they were set to be married, a battle broke out, and he had to leave her. So the woman lay down by the river to wait for him. She fell asleep, and when the news came that her love had died, no one in the village had the heart to wake her."
Victoria took a breath, smiling sadly. "She's there even now. Never stirring, turned to stone, still waiting." One slim shoulder lifted slightly and she looked up. "I supposed Harry should be with the one that he'd turn to stone without."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Wrinkling her nose a little, Victoria waved her hand. "Oh, I'm worthless at paperwork, really. I suppose it's just one of those things."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Ah." Leaning back a little, as if she'd been waiting for this question, Victoria smoothed her coat over her knees as she thought. "Well, how would one prove that, really? You'll probably have to take my word for it, no matter what I say. Unless," she chuckled a little, amused, "you're running background checks on my answers."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Reaching into her pocket, Victoria smoothly pulled out a pocketbook. "So, this is where I write a check?" she asked innocently. "I was lead to believe that there was no tuition, but I can manage a small donation. Or..." She paused, considering. "Well, I do have a few books with me. And I'm a decent cook, if you wanted something homemade? Other than that," she spread her arms a little and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to offer."
"I have read the
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___VM_________I have read the
hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___VM________.I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____VM______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____VM_________"
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 06:52 am (UTC)And then that smell crashed over her, some scent that was uniquely him, that she remembered from all those years ago, and Virginia tilted her head back to look up at him. Eyes lidded as she watched his face, as her lips parted slightly in an almost smile. "Please, Ben," she asked, voice that husky low plea. "Can we try? I've lost you, so many times. I don't think I can again."
Pulling herself a little closer to him, shivering without realizing it, Victoria's breath caught somewhere in her throat. "Please."
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 07:10 am (UTC)He knew he should walk away. There was no way to make this work, no good that could come of it, and it would end again with one of them lost, dying, dead, ruined. Maybe both of them this time. Maybe everyone. There was no way they could be together, and if he were half the mountie he claimed to be, he would take responsibility and walk away now.
But then she pulled back and looked at him, and smiled, and his heart nearly stopped beating all on its own. Whatever masks he had left crumbled, leaving him naked and exposed to her. His face was the very picture of torment. "Victoria," he begged. Let me go.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 07:39 am (UTC)How could she not recognize those words hanging unspoken in the air between them, falling like shards of glass and pulling them apart? This was her Ben, her Ben, and she could read his expression in a snowstorm with the world crumbling around them. Like this, with him so close and yet so remote, begging her to let him go...
She had done everything for him. For them. So they could be together, so they could find a place where it was just the two of them. Because that's where they'd come together, in the middle of white so deep that it felt like breathing cotton, that canceled out all sounds but your ragged heartbeat. Where it became you and him and the entire universe was nothing but a cocoon that you were wrapped in. It only made sense that she had to repeat that, that she'd pulled away everything holding him back from the pure void that had surrounded them, that needed to surround them.
Some days Victoria wasn't sure if she'd ever really walked out of that storm. Maybe, until she had Fraser, really had Fraser, maybe until he chose her, she'd just be stuck there. It sounded too metaphysical to really be taken seriously. A never ending snowstorm? Being trapped in the cold, near death, until some fairy tale prince breathed life back into her? But whenever she thought of Ben it was against a pristine white, it was with the sound of nothingness pressing into her senses, it was his breath the only warmth against her skin.
And now he was asking her to let him go.
She'd pulled down his world because she knew he loved her, and she knew what needed to be done for them to be together. But now he wanted to go. Wanted to be free.
Softly, sweetly, she kissed him. Her lips meeting his with a quiet murmur of his name, her fingers relaxing from fists to lay hands flat against his chest. Saying goodbye.
Because she couldn't hold him. Victoria would do anything to stay with him, but if Fraser asked to be let go, how could she do anything but let him?
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 08:22 am (UTC)There had been no woman for him since Victoria. He'd been interested once or twice -- Janet Morris with her dark curls, Meg Thatcher with her hard edges and soft eyes, wicked Denny Scarpa with her cruel smile -- but it had never gone father than a kiss with any of them, and it had never been like this. He couldn't remember being with Robin, but he was sure it hadn't been like this. Kissing Victoria was like willing the entire world away, like they were the only two people in the universe and all he could feel was her and he didn't care.
He shut his eyes tight and held her, his hands in white-knuckled fists in her coat, the kiss almost bruisingly hard. Let the world melt away. Let it burn. Nothing else mattered. Not Hogwarts, not Chicago, not his wasted, lonely life. It was the hex all over again, but what he'd never told anyone was that he knew what he'd said while hexed and he knew he'd been right. His life here was meaningless, worthless. He could disappear right now as long as he had her and Steph and Ray--
Steph and Ray. He pulled back sharply, his eyes opening wide and panicked. Oh, God. What had he done?
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 08:38 am (UTC)This was what she wanted. Just this. Him and her and forever. Because that's what it felt like when he touched her. Like this was what it all came down to, like this is what it always would be. And since the very first time Ben had touched her, this was all Victoria had wanted, had craved, had needed.
When he broke away she didn't move. Eyes closed, fingers moving to brush along his neck, down to rest on his shoulders, Victoria let herself bask in him. Just in him. Then she looked up at him.
And she wanted to see love there. She wanted to see Ben looking at her the way he had, once. But it was fear and it was regret and it was nothing she'd felt in his embrace, nothing she wished to find.
Face falling, Victoria stepped back. Away from him. "I love you," she said, as a final explanation, as one last plea. "I need you." And that was all she had.
"Ben."
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 08:53 am (UTC)Mostly, right now, he was terrified for his family. He had let himself forget what Victoria was, what she could do. She would destroy them. To get to him, she had stopped at nothing, let nothing stand in her way, and now there was more than ever between them. His partner. His-- friend, ward, daughter, whatever Stephanie was. And Lily, and Maggie... He couldn't let her have them. Except that by kissing her -- hell, just by walking into this room, by not turning and running the other way the moment he heard her voice -- he may have already condemned them.
Her words still echoed in his head, and the look on her face was like poison to him, but he knew what he had to do. "I'm sorry," he said for what felt like the millionth time, mumbling through his fingers, his voice cracking despite the shield. He let his hand drop and started to reach out to her, but stopped halfway. "I-- I have to go," he explained faintly.
He couldn't wait another moment. He reached out and touched her cheek, his eyes full of regret -- and then he turned away and ran.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 09:03 am (UTC)So she watched him go, like in some dream, like in some crazy nightmare that continued to replay whenever she shut her eyes. Only this was live and in person and Victoria was fairly certain something inside of her shattered again as Fraser chose to walk away.
How many times could she break under his decisions before she simply turned to dust and blew away?
Swallowing hard, Victoria pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders and wiped away the last traces of tears. A deep breath, a quick straighten of her hair, and Victoria turned to greet the next person with a smile. Because the only way to not die was to keep moving, the only way to not let the fact he was gone destroy her was to make herself cold until thoughts of him were frozen away.