Owl to the hat, warded in complex and amusing ways.

[silk-simkin.livejournal.com]

My dear, dear Hat

It has come to my attention that we do not currently have a professor for the History of Magic. I aim to rectify this, by submitting my own good self for the position. I am certain you will agree that there are few as qualified as myself for such.

You'll find my curriculum vitae (such a strange concept) attached.


Yours, in impeccable fashion,

Simkin





Education
Académie de Magie Beauxbâtons
Durmstrang
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The Mountain, Thimhalan
The Font, Merilon, Thimhallan
The College of Magic
The School of Magic, Roke Island, Earthsea
Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork, Discworld

The list goes on, and on, listing every possible magic school in existence

Relevant Experience
Have witnessed magic since it's inception everywhere, thus will be teaching from experience.
Know Merlyn personally.

References
Albus Dumbledore, pleasant young fellow.
Saryon, Catalyst, and delightful priest.
Merlyn, stodgy old man, quite absent minded.
Joram, The Emperor of Merilon, Thimhallan. Tall, dark and broody, but otherwise delightful.

The list continues, naming pretty much everyone that used magic in Thimhallan (Canon homeworld of Simkin), as well as most notable magic users everywhere that would probably recognise the name

Comments

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Dearest Simkin,

I will owl your application to the Board of Governors, immediately!

Sincerely,
The Sorting Hat

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Mr Simkin, the Board of Governors has reviewed your Curriculum Vitae and believe there is literally no being better suited to teach the History of Magic than yourself. We also wondered whether you might be able to procure for us some revealing photographs of Joram, as we like tall-dark-and-broody.

Therefore, Simkin, the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry hereby appoints you Professor of History of Magic for the standard term of one year, to be continued upon application and approval. Your pay is set at the standard rate of *G*5,000 per annum, with room, board and sufficient robes and linens, and a house elf designated to attend to your needs. You may continue to live in your dormitory, if you wish, or wherever it is that you have been living. However, you may wish to make use of separate, more private chambers. Your classroom is located on the first floor, as is your office (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/74807.html?thread=3558967#t3558967). We enclose the keys to your quarters, classroom, office, staffroom and staff bath.

The Board of Governors wishes you the best success in your teaching endeavors.