http://ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com/ (
ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com) wrote in
hh_mirror2007-08-10 09:04 pm
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Entry tags:
- aayla secura,
- albel nox,
- alice cullen,
- archie kennedy,
- arthur dent,
- bialar crais,
- billy brennan,
- bombalurina,
- borat sagdiyev,
- brenda johnson,
- camilla macaulay,
- carla espinosa,
- carrie white,
- charles foster ofdensen,
- chiana,
- dale smither,
- damien thorn,
- demyx,
- dieter prohl,
- erk,
- family values,
- george st bartleigh,
- homsar,
- ian malcolm,
- jadzia dax,
- jaime lannister,
- janet fraiser,
- jeanne francaix,
- john zoidberg,
- jon snow,
- judy poovey,
- lily potter,
- lola sanchez,
- maia,
- malice doll,
- matthew,
- miss swan,
- nebulon,
- oz,
- phoenix wright,
- pickles,
- richard papen,
- sam winchester,
- skwisgaar skwigelf,
- sorting hat,
- stephen maturin,
- the old man,
- toki wartooth,
- tomo takino,
- tricia mcmillan,
- wolfram von bielefeld,
- yoda
The Hat marries people, yo. (Open to those who signed up)
One bright Hogwarts morning, fliers with small, numbered Hat-shaped plastic tokens are sent out to a select group of students via house elf. “Your presence is required at an Awards Ceremony in the Great Hall tonight,” the flier states. “Attendance is mandatory. Formal dress is required. Prizes will be given.”
And so, at the appointed time, the students are ushered into the Great Hall. It has been lavishly decorated for the occasion: streamers, flowers, a champagne fountain, the works. At the front of the hall sits the Sorting Hat, likewise decorated in a wreath of flowers and lots of bling. It sits imperiously and waits until everyone has taken a seat and the beautifully decorated doors have been closed and barred.
“My dear students,” it begins, “we are gathered here today for a wonderful ceremony. A ceremony of magic and beauty, and it is my privilege to be here with you. Now, before you can get your wonderful awards--” here one of the Hat's folds dips in what might have been a wink on something with a face--”are you all carrying your special prize tokens?” It waits for a little longer while the attending house elves (all carrying bouquets of multicolored flowers) check to ensure that yes, everyone in the room has one on their person. “Wonderful! By the power vested in me by the Board of Education, I now pronounce you married!”
Before the shock and outrage can set in, the Hat rushes into the next part of its speech. “No use getting upset, it's legal now! This place has become a haven for loose morals, and you're helping to fix that! Don't worry about your belongings, you won't have to spend a second sweating and becoming undesirable for your new spouses! While you've been here, the house elves have moved your sundries out to your new homes for you, isn't that nice of them? They've even been allowed to charm your new homes so that you can't remove your objects from them! Let's hear it for the house elves!” It doesn't pause for applause. “Now, I'll let you happy newlyweds get to the business of consummating your new relationships in the name ofduck waffles procreation. Your tokens are numbered with your new addresses, and a map has been provided at the door. Don't try to run, the ushers have been provided with cattle prods and given the permission to use them.” The Hat waves a strap at one terrified-looking bouquet-holding elf near the front, who pulls a cattle prod out of the flowers and waves it around. “And now, onward! Onward to happy families! Onward to El Mundo Del Sombrero!”
The doors open. The armed house elves swarm, herding the students to a tent village on Hogwarts grounds. Resistance is futile.
Once arriving at the tent whose number matches the number on their token, each student will meet his or her new spouse(s) ...
((The tents in El Mundo Del Sombrero are wizarding tents that appear to be one-bedroom houses complete with bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms, etc. inside. Rearranging and addition of objects is allowed, removal of objects for the purposes of moving elsewhere or returning to the castle is not due to the charm on the tents. Players are allowed to NPC the house elves shocking their own characters if an escape attempt is made. Note that characters will not be barred from returning to the castle later to do other things, e.g., use the library; they just can't move back into the castle. Congratulations on your nuptials.
Feel free to RP in this post, or to post your own separate posts that take place within the dubious sanctuary of your brand-new tent!))
And so, at the appointed time, the students are ushered into the Great Hall. It has been lavishly decorated for the occasion: streamers, flowers, a champagne fountain, the works. At the front of the hall sits the Sorting Hat, likewise decorated in a wreath of flowers and lots of bling. It sits imperiously and waits until everyone has taken a seat and the beautifully decorated doors have been closed and barred.
“My dear students,” it begins, “we are gathered here today for a wonderful ceremony. A ceremony of magic and beauty, and it is my privilege to be here with you. Now, before you can get your wonderful awards--” here one of the Hat's folds dips in what might have been a wink on something with a face--”are you all carrying your special prize tokens?” It waits for a little longer while the attending house elves (all carrying bouquets of multicolored flowers) check to ensure that yes, everyone in the room has one on their person. “Wonderful! By the power vested in me by the Board of Education, I now pronounce you married!”
Before the shock and outrage can set in, the Hat rushes into the next part of its speech. “No use getting upset, it's legal now! This place has become a haven for loose morals, and you're helping to fix that! Don't worry about your belongings, you won't have to spend a second sweating and becoming undesirable for your new spouses! While you've been here, the house elves have moved your sundries out to your new homes for you, isn't that nice of them? They've even been allowed to charm your new homes so that you can't remove your objects from them! Let's hear it for the house elves!” It doesn't pause for applause. “Now, I'll let you happy newlyweds get to the business of consummating your new relationships in the name of
The doors open. The armed house elves swarm, herding the students to a tent village on Hogwarts grounds. Resistance is futile.
Once arriving at the tent whose number matches the number on their token, each student will meet his or her new spouse(s) ...
((The tents in El Mundo Del Sombrero are wizarding tents that appear to be one-bedroom houses complete with bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms, etc. inside. Rearranging and addition of objects is allowed, removal of objects for the purposes of moving elsewhere or returning to the castle is not due to the charm on the tents. Players are allowed to NPC the house elves shocking their own characters if an escape attempt is made. Note that characters will not be barred from returning to the castle later to do other things, e.g., use the library; they just can't move back into the castle. Congratulations on your nuptials.
Feel free to RP in this post, or to post your own separate posts that take place within the dubious sanctuary of your brand-new tent!))
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What she gets instead is an octopus thrown screaming into the hot tub next to the tent. "OhGodohGodOHGODHOTHOTHOT!" Tako screamed as he crawled out of the tub. Was this how they treated internet personalities here? What service! Tako was going to complain to the person in charge. As soon as he figured out who that was.
"So," he said to his brand new bride. "How's it going?" Steam was still wafting off of his tentacles.
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'I think I need a cigarette,' is all she can manage at first, taking out her headphones. 'Or some nourishing soup. Hey, crawl into the hot tub again.'
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Maia gets up, walking around him, looking disgusted.
'This is what they give me to work with? Oh, they are in so much trouble. I am not being married to a guy who doesn't even look human.'
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