Owl to Nathan

[likeabadpenny.livejournal.com]

(Needless to say, Peter's usual nurse-scrawl is nearly impossible to read, and anything crossed out has been done so heavily that it's ripped the parchment in a few places.)

Nathan,

Not that I care or anything but

Are you still here?

So. When are you leaving?

I really don't want you to leave this quick, I ...does being around me suck that much?

I just want my brother around, and you're talking about leaving. I don't

I'm sure New York must be falling to pieces without you there -Go on, just leave, see if I care

Can you at least give me notice? Maybe I'll arrange a farewell party. You like red and blue, right?

Your BROTHER
Peter

Comments

[soopernathan.livejournal.com]

Nathan couldn't have really said why he wasn't loads happier about Heidi, about her being able to walk, and just... everything. Because his own powers had been what had caused it in the first place, maybe. Because it was powers - Linderman's specifically - that had healed her, and... he wasn't really sure where to go with that, what to do or feel or anything. You couldn't embrace something that had done good when, not too long before, it had done something so much worse. If it hadn't been for Nathan's flying, Heidi wouldn't have needed to have been in a wheelchair. They wouldn't have NEEDED to have to deal with all of that drama and coping. Their marriage wouldn't have been driven into a six-month rut that Nathan hadn't thought they were ever going to get out of.

God, new topic, definitely new topic. Nathan just left Peter's comment at that, frowning a bit in wake of his new question and planting his chin onto his hand. Oh, boy. Here it came. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered in return, scratching at the back of his head. "I'll visit. Of course." Pause. "Not that I can promise how often, but. Come on, Pete, give me some credit."

[likeabadpenny.livejournal.com]

"The same kind of credit I was supposed to give you when you were only ever home at Christmas?" Peter asked derisively, slumping backwards into the couch. At least this time he didn't get up and attempt to look busy just to give himself something to do.

He understood that Nathan had been busy during those years, and to actually expect him to have been home more often was kind of stupid, when he thought about it. But Peter couldn't help feeling hurt over it, despite this fact.

With a small frown, Peter decided that he really just had to face up to the fact that he clearly wasn't important in Nathan's life. Nathan had his wife, his kids, his job. All of those should rank higher than Peter, rightfully. He should learn not to get so disappointed every time Nathan left.

[soopernathan.livejournal.com]

Nathan's own mouth automatically twisted back into a knowing frown, almost foreboding. That... wasn't fair. At all. Yes, he knew he was never home. Yes, he knew that it sucked, for both of them, that Nathan barely knew his brother, that coming home to see Peter was like giving the kid Easter, Christmas, Valentine's Day and his birthday all in one big vacation, and he had always felt horrible about leaving. But what could he do? He was in college. He was in the military. Nathan had barely stepped foot into home since he had turned 18.

"You know that's not fair, Pete," Nathan automatically warned him, in a bit of a heated voice, leaning backward against the couch and throwing up his hands, momentarily. "What the hell was I supposed to do? Skip college? Skip everything I was supposed to do? I couldn't help it, Peter." And the guy was still holding it over his head, these many years later. "You know I couldn't help it."

[likeabadpenny.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know," Peter mumbled quietly. And he did, he knew. He'd never ask Nathan to take time off from what he needed to do - college, the military, essential things. "I just... you know how I feel about it when I never see you."

It felt like a giant dead-end, really. What was Peter supposed to say - Okay, great, I'll see you the next time you feel like you need to help your pathetic little brother? Admittedly, he could be a little more gracious about this whole thing. Nathan had saved the lives of millions of people by flying Peter away when he had, Peter should be thanking him, not practically begging him to stay.

Then again, Peter had never been good at being gracious over things he didn't like. He tended to react with a lot of depressed questions and, later, a lot of brooding.

[soopernathan.livejournal.com]

...Nathan didn't need this. Really didn't need this.

After everything he'd been through. Between, Christ, the last six months. Following Peter, almost literally, to the other freaking side of the world. To Scotland. To this freaking... magic school, that was definitely going to drive him nuts if he didn't get out of here soon. He followed Peter for once, and he was here right now, even as Peter was pulling all of his dreamer shit. Even as he was freaking dying in the dungeons.

And then Peter was pulling this shit. Nathan just rubbed at his forehead, sighing with the air of someone who had seriously ran dry of their patience, by this juncture. "I know, Pete," he responded in a bit of a toneless voice, a bit too sharp to be comforting. "I know, okay? I definitely know." He could only stretch so far. "What do you want me to do, do you want me to stay? Stay here forever? In freaking... magical castle land? Forget my job and my wife and my kids? It's good, okay? It's fine. Here. And..." He waved his hand vaguely at Peter, sighing. "God knows you need someone to look after you. But, Jesus, Pete, I can't watch you forever. I really can't."

[likeabadpenny.livejournal.com]

There really was no use fighting this, was there? Peter knew Nathan loved him, but in the end, wife/kids/job had to win out over that. Nathan had responsibilities, he had to go help people in his own way. He really shouldn't be fighting that.

"I don't need to be watched," Peter replied mulishly. He wasn't a child. Nathan seemed to really take his 'My little brother is an absolute whackjob' opinion quite seriously sometimes.

The unspoken statement in that was, of course, 'Okay, you can leave.' Peter knew that Nathan always got a little annoyed talking about this kind of thing, and he probably didn't need to be getting annoyed. Besides, Peter was more than annoyed at the insinuation that he needed to look after him. He did not.