hh_mirror

Okay. Playtime was over.

No, seriously. Bedtime for Bonzo.

Dean Winchester was going to wish he hadn't woken up that morning, considering it was, well, quite literally morning, almost before the damned sun was even up, really. But, hey, it was Jenks, and he had waited quite long enough for this, thanks.

Groundskeeper. How could this guy - this human - this Turning cookie who had somehow managed to get Rachel's attention (what was it with her and humans? Like a fat kid to freaking pie) have gotten the Groundskeeper job? He was a complete idiot. Didn't cut the grass of grow flowers and bitched like a freaking fiend when he had to clean up that mess from two crazy kids let loose on all the shiny things in the world.

No gardens. NO GARDENS. How had he managed to even come by this job? This guy barely seemed like he had two brain cells to rub together.

Okay, no. Jenks had seen how he'd handled Rachel's little, ah, accident, with the demon. He had SOME brain cells, at least. Enough semblance of an intelligence to keep his head in a crisis. Jenks was just mad.

Not about Rachel, though. Nope.

Gardens. Lack of gardens made pixies mad.

That was his story and he was sticking to it.

Consequentially, Dean had a little bit of a pixie problem on his hands at the moment. Poor soul still had that broken window pane after all, from its previous occupant, with a hole that was more than substantially pixie-sized. Jenks, ergo, had access right inside. He had always been the kind of being to just help himself to what he wanted anyway.

"HELLO-O-O-O-O, RISE AND SHINE, BEAUTY BUTT!" he was announcing in his high-pitched voice, as he pinged in through the window in a spray of infuriated pixie dust, scattering Dean's bed with what... basically looked like glitter, for a few long seconds. ~~Heh. Dean and glitter.~~ Dean barely budged at the voice, grumbling something about needing coffee to be up this early, Sam, you ass, so go away.

Which, of course, earned him a few, well-aimed pencils, lobbied straight for the back of his head. Even through a layer of blankets ~~and hairgel~~, that was going to hurt.

"Ow! Fucking what!" Dean yelped, sheets and bedspread all tangled around him in some weird sort of fuzzy cocoon. With his head poking out the top, hair sticking up at all odd-angles, this might have been a funny sight for anybody else. Possibly cute! Jenks, however, was not one to find humans funny and/or cute, by general rule. Plus, this guy smelled like a mixture of brewery and feet.

He didn't care what Dean had to say. More pencils! One ricocheting off the man's forehead and to the floor. "I said get up, stupid Turning cookie, jeez. How man times does someone gotta kick your ass before the message finally gets up that spinal cord to your stupid head? Hello? Anybody home?" Jenks squawked back in a rude sort of voice, flitting over to Dean and knocking a fist against the side of his head. Not enough to do any actual harm, but it definitely earned him a swat in consolation.

"What the fuck is this? Jesus, what do you want?" Dean grouched in a gravelly voice, clambering out of the sheets and grabbing haphazardly at the clock on his bedside stand. Six forty seven in the morning. He had to be kidding.

"What do I want?" Jenks shot back, as though the answer was obvious. "You to do your job, doofus! Or did you not notice the lack of actual grounds keeping going down at the school?" He paused a moment, glancing to the clock and ruffling himself, a bit irritably. "And your clock's two minutes slow.

"God, what're you, the freaking fairy police?" Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed at his temples. This was way too early for this shit. At least Sam gave him caffeine. "And my clock is not slow."

"Call me a fairy again and I shove one of those pencils up where the sun don't shine, jerk face. And is too. It's six forty-nine."

"My clock says forty-seven."

"Kid, I know the sun better than you probably know your tiny little prick. It's six fifty, as of two seconds ago. You don't take care of your gardens, cookie."

He fluttered upward, hands on his hips, fixing Dean with a rather bossy stare downward. Dean paused a few long seconds, fist rubbing at one of his eyes, as if that could somehow wipe the sleep from them. No such luck; the world was still coming in as a blur, and the technicolor show of the pixie's wings wasn't exactly helping matters much. God, this was like one of those really bad reefer trips where you swore to never touch the shit ever again in your life. "Does it matter? I mean, seriously, who cares?"

"Uh, I do, hot shot, and you're seriously neglecting, like, the world." God, humans just really didn't get it, did they?

"Well, shit, if you want them fixed so badly, do it yourself," Dean griped right back, wrinkling his nose, and grabbing at the blankets again. Who'd he have to fuck to get a decent night's sleep in this place anyway? As if he hadn't been sleeping little enough before this thing divebombed in through his window.

J-what, though? Jenks was don't a double take, eyebrows raised in question. "Y... really?"

"...Yeah. Why the fuck should I care?"

...Hot damn! He hadn't been expecting that. Jenks crossed his arms and gave Dean a good long stare, cocking his head. "I want forty percent of your salary."

"Hell no."

"Thirty."

"Hell no. Can you even use money? What the crap do you need it for?"

"Lots of crap, dickweed. Twenty percent."

"Fifteen and you can live out wherever you want and the... bushes and shit. If you go away now."

"You're a cheapskate, Winchester," Jenks complained loudly, and flickered to a stop, perched onto one of Dean's knees. "Fine, fine. Stingy-ass human. Cripes. Fifteen percent. And I can buy maybe an M&M per month." Not that it mattered. A few bites off anything remotely sugary and Jenks was off the walls for a few hours. Besides, Jenks would have done this kind of thing for free. Still. "Ass."

"Twit."

And yet he liked this guy.

"Right. So. You makin' with the leavin' now? Or do you get nothin'?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm out of your hair, jack-off. No thanks for the job."'

"No thanks for the help. Get out of here."

Fucking fairies.