Application: Constable Renfield Turnbull, RCMP (Due South)

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

((okay'ed by Ray-mun and Fraser-mun))

A tall, muscular man, dressed in the bright red uniform of a Mountie, appears within the room. He is wearing a pink apron over the uniform, with cleaning gloves on his hands and a duster clutched in one hand. He seems confused by the unfamiliar locale, but not overly surprised to find himself there.

"Oh dear, I hope I haven't managed to get lost in the Consulate… again. I don’t want Inspector Thatcher to yell at me for this."

Glancing around the room, he notices the paper on the table, but focuses on cleaning until the room is in some semblance of order while humming under his breath. "Well, that will have to do for the moment. Now I really should deal with this paperwork." Setting down the duster and removing his gloves, he sets to work on answering the questions- no doubt this is part of his service to Queen and Country.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Well, although it would be hard to pick a favorite, I have to say I'm partial to camembert, especially prepared as camembert en croute almondine."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Even though I am normally opposed to the execution of prisoners, I would of course make an exception for the Quebecois Quasher, Vincent 'Carrottop' Flynn. The things that man did…" He shakes his head sadly at the memory.

3. What time is it where you are?
"It must be around eleven… Constable Fraser hasn't come in from guard duty yet and there's still a bit of time before I need to prepare lunch."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Carefully checking the room for eavesdroppers before answering, he whispers, "I wouldn't be willing to sexually harass anyone, of course. Still, I would be amenable to courting Remus Lupin… He's well-aged and blond and seems familiar somehow. "

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Crow Bar seems a little obvious… Ooh! I would love to work at the Bonspiel!" He seems momentarily overcome with the thought of working at a bar devoted to curling, then shakes his head and returns to the questions.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Well, I don't see a reason for Harry to break up their happy home. As far as I can tell, Fred and George are happy together and don't need another man coming between them."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Chances are, a superior officer continually passes off all of her paperwork onto you. Thankfully, that problem seems to lessen once you get to know them, and they realize what you're capable of doing."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Would someone who was useless be promoted to temporary assistant interim associate deputy liaison? I think not."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I would be pleased to cook something special for anyone who gives me a vote. I'm also good at keeping secrets, and can do a fantastic job running interference for you."


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______RT______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____RT______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____RT______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______RT_______"

Comments

[the-office-pam.livejournal.com]

Pam had to laugh, albeit with a hint of wryness, even something wistful, perhaps. "I'm not sure I agree. About the paperwork question, I mean. My boss still passes off all his paperwork to me, and the problem hasn't lessened at all." The teeniest, tiniest of bitter notes crept into her voice. "I don't think he knows anything about what I'm capable of." A slight pause, and then. "So...yeah, it's good that it got better for you." And now she tried a smile, which was mostly successful.

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"Ah, well, that may be a good thing." Turnbull can't help sounding a little wistful himself. "It often seems that I handle tasks less important than paperwork since I'm not even trusted to deal with that. At the very least, you seem to have earned some respect from your boss."

[the-office-pam.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure I'd call it respect," Pam said in her usual slow, deliberate manner. "I don't think there's really a name for it." Because there almost never was a simple way to describe anything Michael did. "What's worse than paperwork? You mean, like, having to watch old awards show videos and take notes? Or forging your boss' signature?"

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"Well, even though I've received the same extensive training as the other members of the RCMP stationed in the Consulate, I'm responsible for the menial tasks they have no wish to do. I clean, I answer the phones, I babysit unruly children and Ray, and I fill out any paperwork considered simple enough that I won't mess it up. I love being a Mountie and appreciate that I'm doing my part to aid my country, but it's still not a satisfactory experience."

[the-office-pam.livejournal.com]

Pam could pretty much empathize with all of that. She'd done her fair share of cleaning and answer the phones...babysitting Dwight...hey, might as well add babysitting Michael to the list as well.

"Maybe you could do the things you're interested in on the side? I started taking some art classes, and that helped me deal with all the crazy stuff that goes on in my office, because I knew I had something to look forward to later on." It was also a good distraction from the mess with Jim, but that was left unsaid.

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"That's quite good advice, miss. I actually do make a point of periodically cooking for Constable Fraser, Inspector Thatcher, and myself simply for the joy of it." He smiles at her mention of art classes. "Funny you should mention that, I also do a little sketching in my free time. I definitely enjoy it, and I'd like to think I have an aptitude for it." Chatting with Pam has clearly improved his mood, and his stance relaxes a little.

[the-office-pam.livejournal.com]

Not many people at Dunder-Mifflin got Pam. In fact, Jim was the only one, really, and there were still parts of her that he didn't understand. She and Turnbull had just met, so there was no way he really knew a whole lot about her either, but all the same, it was nice to know that someone got this small part of her.

She returned his smile. "That's really cool. I think, actually, there are some other people who do art here as well. Maybe someday we can all display our pictures or something. Like an exhibit." It was just a stupid, silly dream, and it's not like it actually meant something, exhibiting artwork at a magic school, but the idea of it still made Pam feel slightly giddy.