Application: Constable Renfield Turnbull, RCMP (Due South)

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

((okay'ed by Ray-mun and Fraser-mun))

A tall, muscular man, dressed in the bright red uniform of a Mountie, appears within the room. He is wearing a pink apron over the uniform, with cleaning gloves on his hands and a duster clutched in one hand. He seems confused by the unfamiliar locale, but not overly surprised to find himself there.

"Oh dear, I hope I haven't managed to get lost in the Consulate… again. I don’t want Inspector Thatcher to yell at me for this."

Glancing around the room, he notices the paper on the table, but focuses on cleaning until the room is in some semblance of order while humming under his breath. "Well, that will have to do for the moment. Now I really should deal with this paperwork." Setting down the duster and removing his gloves, he sets to work on answering the questions- no doubt this is part of his service to Queen and Country.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Well, although it would be hard to pick a favorite, I have to say I'm partial to camembert, especially prepared as camembert en croute almondine."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Even though I am normally opposed to the execution of prisoners, I would of course make an exception for the Quebecois Quasher, Vincent 'Carrottop' Flynn. The things that man did…" He shakes his head sadly at the memory.

3. What time is it where you are?
"It must be around eleven… Constable Fraser hasn't come in from guard duty yet and there's still a bit of time before I need to prepare lunch."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Carefully checking the room for eavesdroppers before answering, he whispers, "I wouldn't be willing to sexually harass anyone, of course. Still, I would be amenable to courting Remus Lupin… He's well-aged and blond and seems familiar somehow. "

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Crow Bar seems a little obvious… Ooh! I would love to work at the Bonspiel!" He seems momentarily overcome with the thought of working at a bar devoted to curling, then shakes his head and returns to the questions.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Well, I don't see a reason for Harry to break up their happy home. As far as I can tell, Fred and George are happy together and don't need another man coming between them."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Chances are, a superior officer continually passes off all of her paperwork onto you. Thankfully, that problem seems to lessen once you get to know them, and they realize what you're capable of doing."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Would someone who was useless be promoted to temporary assistant interim associate deputy liaison? I think not."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"I would be pleased to cook something special for anyone who gives me a vote. I'm also good at keeping secrets, and can do a fantastic job running interference for you."


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______RT______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____RT______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____RT______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______RT_______"

Comments

[themountie.livejournal.com]

"Well, actually," Fraser tells him, because he's Benton Fraser and therefore can't not niggle at insignificant points, "Detective Kowalski is not here, he's back in Chicago at the moment. Although he should return shortly. And no, Detective Vecchio is not here, either, I'm afraid. The reason is... a bit complicated, Constable. I don't think you need to worry yourself with it."

Although now Fraser is a little worried, himself. When he'd discovered the existence of a Ray Kowalski double here, bepedestaled in the popcorn room, he had assumed that the safest thing would be for Ray to reassume his real identity and for another Ray Vecchio double to take his place in Chicago. If Turnbull's wondering about Ray Vecchio, that means there is no other Ray Vecchio...

"Oh, dear." Fraser frowns, brow creasing. "Turnbull, do you mean to tell me that no one has been occupying the desk of Ray Vecchio since I left?" Realizing, of course, that if Turnbull thought he'd been in the Consulate for the last six months, he's probably ill-equipped to answer the question.

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"Ah, okay, sir." Turnbull can't help feeling a prickle of annoyance at Fraser's obvious dismissal of him, but he quickly stifles the emotion and is careful not to let it show.

"As far as I know, sir, there hasn't been another replacement Detective Vecchio. Inspector Thatcher and I were briefed the last time that happened, as I'm sure you recall. Since such a meeting didn't occur a second time, it seems likely that the desk was left vacant. Hmm... that is a troubling thought."

[themountie.livejournal.com]

The sad truth is that even if Turnbull did show his irritation Fraser might not notice it, but that's not Turnbull's fault! Fraser's a little oblivious at times. He only notices when Ray is annoyed because Ray punches things when he's annoyed.

Plus, he's really quite distracted over this Ray Vecchio issue. He'd simply assumed that this was taken care of; communication between Hogwarts and Chicago is difficult, and he'd never taken greater pains to figure things out. Now he's wishing he had. "Yes, Turnbull. Quite troubling indeed. Oh, dear... I need to look into this."

He starts to turn to leave, but seems suddenly to remember where he is. "Oh, of course. I need to Sort you, don't I? Well..." He weighs the issue. Should he keep the fellow mountie with him or take the opportunity to put some distance between himself and Turnbull? "Do you have a preference?" Maybe Turnbull will make it easy on him.

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"I'd be honored to live in the same House as you, sir, whichever that may be." It would be nice to have a friendly face nearby and Ray would undoubtedly be spending time with Fraser, once he returned from Chicago.

Turnbull mentally patted himself on the back for his clever plan.

Vote: Gryffindor

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Well, that settles that, Fraser thinks wryly. "Very well, Constable. As you wish." At least it will be nice to have someone from home around. And it could easily be much worse like Frannie. Yes, he decides, this will be a good idea. (Of course, if he knew Turnbull's logic, he might not be quite as pleased.)

"Good luck to you, Turnbull. Send me an owl when you've been Sorted -- that's our primary means of communication here. I trust you've been instructed in using homing pigeons? This isn't very different."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[ren-turnbull.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, sir. I'll make sure to let you know as soon as I've been sorted, never fear." He pauses, and places a comforting hand on Fraser's shoulder. "And for what it's worth, I'm sure that Detective Vecchio is still safe, wherever he may be. He's been in some rough situations before and come out fine." Of course, it went without saying that Fraser was usually the reason for that, but the sentiment was still sincere.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[themountie.livejournal.com]

Turnbull is touching him. Fraser blinks and glances down at the hand, then back up at Turnbull's face, carefully masking his expression. "...yes. Well." At least Turnbull means well, Fraser reasons. He always does. "Thank you kindly, Constable Turnbull." He flashes the younger mountie a quick smile and, duty done, beats a hasty retreat.

He supposes now he'll have to find something for him to do. The work is a little thin as it is for one man, but surely he can find something...