Application - DUCK WAFFLE. (oc squibbait)
Jun. 30th, 2007 11:49 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
braincancerbaby.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror(( Permission received from both of Duck Waffle's parents. Because they're me. Permission NOT received from Kojiro, because HE HAS NO FEELINGS D:< ))
Uh oh. Somebody new has stepped into the room! Is it? No. It can't be.
Why is he here? What does he want from the people?!
...Why does he talk like he's out of a Lil' Jon video?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Duck Waffle stares at the page for a few long seconds. Uh oh. He looks angry. Cheese? They're askin' him 'bout CHEESE?! "CHEESE AND WAFFLES?!" he bellows to nobody in particular, looking rather pissed off. "YOU NUTS, SUCKA?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Now, THAT is a tempting decision. The singer of the Clean-Up song? Or the guy who looks like a bastardized Q-tip dipped in pock-marked pizza sauce? "EASY." He nods once, cracking his infamous whip and narrowing his eyes at the paper. "GET 'EM BOTH. I SHOVE CARROTTOP'S HEAD UP BARNEY'S ASS."
3. What time is it where you are?
...Does it LOOK like Duck Waffle could be bothered with a WATCH? Sheez, just because his dad's obsessed with them doesn't mean that he walks around talking about time and watches all day.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Uh oh, another difficult question! Who's in the Order of the Phoenix? Duck Waffle has no idea. He suspects. "IS MOHINDAH IN DERE?!" he barks, sounding the closest thing to happy in all the time he's been at Hogwarts. "I LOVES ME SOME MOHINDAH."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bartending? Duck Waffle? BARTENDING? "HOW 'BOUT I SMASH THE BAR OVER YO' HEAD?" he shoots back instead, irritably.
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
One word. An easy answer. And OBVIOUSLY how Harry should make his decision.
"BUTTSECKS."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Paperwork? What's that? He can barely bother himself with the stuff anymore! Poke fun. POKE FUN AT THE QUESTION. He does. Or at least pokes it, literally, with the handle of his whip. Paperwork? Bwah? "YOU DON'T GOT A BITCH," he replies matter-of-factly, even though he'd shouting his answer. "GETS YO'SELVES A BITCH."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Useless? LAUGHABLE. Can YOU say that your dad eats brains? That your other dad can tie cherry knots with his ass? "YOU MADE KOJIRO YO' BITCH?" he retorts in a scoffing voice, hands on his hips. Or they would be, if he had hands. "I DON'T THINK SO.DUCK WAFFLE DON'T PLAY THAT."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Bribe? BRIBE? "I DON'T BRIBE YOU, SUCKA," he shouts to the room, eyes wide. "YOU BRIBE ME."
"IhaveAIN'T read the hogwarts_hocus faq, CUZ IT'S TOO LONG. DW, BITCH.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.Don't you read, sucka? DW, BITCH.
I'LL NEVER agree to be a good sport andnotwill get myKojiro's knickers in a bunch. DW, BITCH.
One day,marmaladeDuck Waffles will rule the world. DW, BITCH.
Uh oh. Somebody new has stepped into the room! Is it? No. It can't be.
Why is he here? What does he want from the people?!
...Why does he talk like he's out of a Lil' Jon video?
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Duck Waffle stares at the page for a few long seconds. Uh oh. He looks angry. Cheese? They're askin' him 'bout CHEESE?! "CHEESE AND WAFFLES?!" he bellows to nobody in particular, looking rather pissed off. "YOU NUTS, SUCKA?"
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Now, THAT is a tempting decision. The singer of the Clean-Up song? Or the guy who looks like a bastardized Q-tip dipped in pock-marked pizza sauce? "EASY." He nods once, cracking his infamous whip and narrowing his eyes at the paper. "GET 'EM BOTH. I SHOVE CARROTTOP'S HEAD UP BARNEY'S ASS."
3. What time is it where you are?
...Does it LOOK like Duck Waffle could be bothered with a WATCH? Sheez, just because his dad's obsessed with them doesn't mean that he walks around talking about time and watches all day.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Uh oh, another difficult question! Who's in the Order of the Phoenix? Duck Waffle has no idea. He suspects. "IS MOHINDAH IN DERE?!" he barks, sounding the closest thing to happy in all the time he's been at Hogwarts. "I LOVES ME SOME MOHINDAH."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bartending? Duck Waffle? BARTENDING? "HOW 'BOUT I SMASH THE BAR OVER YO' HEAD?" he shoots back instead, irritably.
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
One word. An easy answer. And OBVIOUSLY how Harry should make his decision.
"BUTTSECKS."
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Paperwork? What's that? He can barely bother himself with the stuff anymore! Poke fun. POKE FUN AT THE QUESTION. He does. Or at least pokes it, literally, with the handle of his whip. Paperwork? Bwah? "YOU DON'T GOT A BITCH," he replies matter-of-factly, even though he'd shouting his answer. "GETS YO'SELVES A BITCH."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Useless? LAUGHABLE. Can YOU say that your dad eats brains? That your other dad can tie cherry knots with his ass? "YOU MADE KOJIRO YO' BITCH?" he retorts in a scoffing voice, hands on his hips. Or they would be, if he had hands. "I DON'T THINK SO.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Bribe? BRIBE? "I DON'T BRIBE YOU, SUCKA," he shouts to the room, eyes wide. "YOU BRIBE ME."
"I
I'LL NEVER agree to be a good sport and
One day,
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Date: 2007-06-30 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2007-07-01 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-02 01:09 am (UTC)*carefully sneaks wand out from up her sleeve*
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Date: 2007-07-01 01:25 am (UTC)"Kojiro is your bitch?" Susan had never met the mysterious Kojiro, but if he was this thing's bitch...wow. Just...wow.
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Date: 2007-07-01 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-01 02:40 am (UTC)Hmm.
Hmmm.
"Word association, my fair lady. What do you think of when I say 'hobo'?"
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Date: 2007-07-01 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-01 10:21 pm (UTC)"Correct! Threesomes are for hobos! I take it Yomama is one such individual? Well, then, Yomama is a filthy whore, I say!"
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Date: 2007-07-01 04:30 am (UTC)((As fhqwhgads-mun, I am highly offended and outraged that you did not contact me about this application. fhqwhgads is the assbaby of Kojiro and the Duck Waffle, but apparently that slipped your mind when you were contacting muns whose chars had significant canon contact with the Duck Waffle. I just emailed the mods about this issue, and as soon as Prima gets out of the shower, she is going to get hardcore on yo' ass, biznatch.))Propelling itself on its single, undulating, pixellated foot,
Scrooge McDuckfhqwhgads (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1167806.html?thread=59508670#t59508670) entered the Sorting Room and made a beeline for the Duck Waffle."I NO U," it bleated. Because it did, of course, being the Duck Waffle's asschild with Kojiro.
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Date: 2007-07-01 10:03 pm (UTC)IT NO HIM? OH NOEZ.
Oh, wait, it was just Fhqwhgads.
"AS WELL AS I... KNOW YOU," Duck Waffle shot back decisively, and nodded. Ha! Win
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Date: 2007-07-02 01:41 am (UTC)"i love u (http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/i_love_you)," he quacked out hoarsely. Because it was important to let your family know that you cared.
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Date: 2007-07-01 06:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-01 10:07 pm (UTC)"I IS REMINDED OF BURRITOS!" he screeched angrily.