Unpopcorning of Zoe Washburne

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

((All firefly muns have been alerted and some plotted with. Zoe doesn't remember any of her days at Hogwarts before. Also, hi! Knitmeapony here!))

So, butter.

There were always things you missed, things that just didn't keep on a ship. And you'd get to missing them so much that you would even get a craving for the fake stuff, when you got it on the ship. Butter was one of Zoe's weaknesses, just a fresh pat melting into oatmeal or bread or rice. Got so bad she wouldn't mind the fake stuff, even if it was a bit orange and oozed into everything.

Still. Didn't mean a woman wanted to be covered in it.

She examined herself, examined the room, and decided job one was to get the stuff out of her boot.

Comments

[laconic-once.livejournal.com]

Wash didn't think he spent much time in the Popcorn Room, when it came right down to it. But he did visit with regularity, because it didn't seem right not to be able to talk with his wife, even if she was non-responsive snackfood. And so he would ramble about mundane things, occasionally asking for an opinion and absolutely not expecting a response, at least not right away. Because he felt it was the responsible thing to do, he also addressed some comments to Jayne, Book, Kaylee and Inara. He wasn't much convinced that any of them, let alone his wife, were really there to listen, but it did make him feel better, and unlike most of the random people around this place, the popcorn did not react poorly to his varied attempts at humor. He respected his captive audience. And it reminded him, when he saw buttery tracks through the door, greasy salt fingerprints on the walls, and the occsional confused looking stranger getting The Explanation from a passerby on the way to a dormitory shower that, well...

...people came back.

In spite of all that optimism and general practicality regarding the issue, however, he flatly was unprepared to see his wife emptying her boot of melted butter as he rounded a corner. He should have earned points for his recovery, though. His unhurried walk floundered into a half-run, half-skid through butter puddles to end up nearly nose to nose with her, staring in open-mouthed admiration.

"Hello, wife," he smiled. "Fancy meeting you here."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

Ah, and now Wash was there, which meant things were good. If the Cap came around, all would be right with the world. "Hello, husband," she returned easily. "You got some idea why I got dipped in artificial butter?

[laconic-once.livejournal.com]

"You were delicious snack food for a time, Zoe. Popcorn, specifically. It tends to happen here on a semi-regular basis, strangely enough. The butter comes with the package. Salt, too, so I hear. But now you're decidedly not, albeit still as delicious as always."

He was babbling. He knew it, but, hell, when was that unusual for Wash?

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

"I see I'm not the only one." She gestured up to the plaque where there were a few crewmembers names --- didn't make her feel real comfortable, that. "Fraid I have to ask which one of us went crazy, though."

[laconic-once.livejournal.com]

"Neither, sweetness. Or both, maybe all. Depending on how you look at it."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

She lifted her eyebrows even higher, somehow, but gave up and just slid her arms around him. Crazy or not, having him here does her comfort level nicely. "How 'bout we figure it out after I've gotten debuttered?"

[laconic-once.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh. He'd been waiting for that, not altogether ready to just grab her himself, but there, with his arms full of his wife, Wash gave a little choked-off sigh of absolute contentment.

"I'd be more than willing to give the issue the discussion time that it deserves, or at least explain what I know about where we are, for what it's worth." Experimentally, he bent his head and licked a little at her neck. Yep, butter.

"There are baths, but that is top-grade proper-dairy butter, unless I am much mistaken. Seems a waste."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

He was making the happy sound. She found it rather hard to resist, all told. She put a hand to his cheek to turn his head for a proper kiss, the feel-it-down-to-your-toes kind. "Wouldn't do to be wasteful," she agreed. "Are there bunks?"

[laconic-once.livejournal.com]

Mmm, oh, goodness, ai-ya that kiss was good and long-desired, and he returned it with fervor and a shiver that he did, indeed, feel down to his toes.

"There's a bunk. There is my bunk. Also, now, I think, your bunk. Our bunk!" he babbled, slightly breathless.

"We can go there?" He slipped his hand into hers, looking somewhere between joyous and just-recently-two-by-foured-to-the-head.

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

Right. Bunk. And then there'd be husband-time, then some sleep, then maybe breakfast. By then she'd be ready to work out the rest of the details. It was a good plan. A solid plan. And she was damned tired, to be honest.

And hah, he looked like he had the day they were married. "Our bunk sounds like a good place to start." She gave him an impish little smile. "You lead the way."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

((Just checking in to see if you missed my reply.))

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Another victim.

Okay, I confess. I am a grade A Popcorn Room lurker. I couldn't help myself. This mystery bothered me, more than a lot of jobs I'd been put up to. People randomly turning into popcorn? Kernels popping into their very own, unique, human being of a snowflake. It was an interesting room, half the school seemed affected by it, and yet nobody had the answers.

Ah, well. Time for more interviews. Attacks. Whatever you wanna call them. "Ugh. That butter's a killer," I replied with a wince, grabbing a towel from my messenger bag (http://www.galaxyarmynavy.com/prodimages/9148_big.jpg) and handing it to this badly-faring newcomer. Hey, this was routine by now. I was prepared! "Popcorn, huh?"

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

((Indeed!))

"Thanks." She took the towel and shook it out. Girl seemed trustworthy, after all. Tiny, short hair, faintly perky -- smelled like Kaylee, and she's always got a good spot in Zoe's view.

"Don't really know why I ended up here. Where's here?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

A sympathetic smile. Here? Might have been hell. At least in the middle of nowhere.

"It's... in Scotland?" I offered with a slight shrug, raising my eyebrows. Here's to hoping she wouldn't freak. I seemed to be dropping that bomb a lot lately. "Weird, I know. People pop up here all the time, though. So I'm guessing you don't remember anything?"

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

Yeah, seemed like a real nice girl, like Kaylee. Zoe relaxed just a fraction.

"Scotland." She tasted the word. "Haven't heard of a place called that. What moon that on?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

Huh? Moons? My smile was turning a little confused now, as my eyebrows furrowed with the obvious question. "It's... not on a moon," I replied slowly. Did she even know where she was right now? I'm supposing not. "It's a country. On Earth?"

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

Earth. Like Earth-That-Was? The place before? Hell, if that all was a lie too, Zoe was going to be mighty upset. "... huh." She peered around at the stones. "Suppose I should ask when it is, too."

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

When? ...Actually. "I... can't exactly answer that..." What was the date. Hell, I was thinking 2004, but who knew at this rate? Tomkat? "What... year do you come from?" Hey, who knew? Pirates and admirals...?

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

"2517, by our reckonning."

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

"Two-thou-tuh-whattah?"

That was most certainly not a word, but... damn. That was a little different than I was thinking! Maybe a few years in advance, yeah, but five hundred years into the future? "So you're from... wow," I mumbled, rubbing at my head. "That... you are a long way off."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

"... when am I?" She was ready for a lot of answers. The past would make sense. Earth-That-Was and all.

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

"Last time I checked?" I replied in a feeble sort of voice, and quirked my mouth into a smile that probably clearly stated, 'oh, shit'. "2004." I was probably a bit off on that, wasn't I? I needed to find the date. I really needed to know if my dad had murdered all of Neptune by now in wake of my absence.

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

... oh. Huh. Her face didnt' register any kind of surprise or worry. Just a slight lifting of her eyebrows. "Well, that'd explain things."

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, that was. ...Odd. ...No freaking out, though I was fairly sure that was a bonus. Either that, or she was going to leave this room and go fire shots from the clock tower. Hmm.

"Explain... what things?" I replied slowly, cocking my head slightly; that questioning way Weevil always mocked. "If you don't mind my asking."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

"This place don't really look like any place I was before." She wiped down her hands and gave the towel back to Veronica. "This your place?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

"Makes sense. You know. Being... that far off," I replied. Rather lamely, I will admit. And... huh? My place? I let out a slight laugh. "Oh, no. God no. Me? I can barely afford PacSun (http://shop.pacsun.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StoreCatalogDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=10001&langId=-1)." And pause. Five hundred years in the future, Veronica, hello. "That... probably makes no sense to you at all." Idiot. "Never mind. But no. Not loaded enough to have a whole castle to myself. It's a school."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

"I figured it out," she said, dryly, checking herself over, examining her weapon. Great. That was buttered too. She sighed. "School. Huh. All right. You know a lot of folks around here?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

Hello, gun. I was suddenly glad for mass amounts of butter. Never thought those words would be coming out of my mouth. "Not particularly," I admitted, rubbing at my arm. "Mostly my boyfriend and my dog. Couple other people I've met. I... wasn't too far off from your position a couple weeks ago. Sooo."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

She popped out the bullets and pocketed them -- those for sure would be all right in the end. Boyfriend and dog -- that's kind of sweet. She stretched a little to get her joints nice and in place and put the empty gun back in its holster. "Never heard of a man named Captain Reynolds, have you?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

"Captain Reynolds?"

The name sounded familiar. I had, of course, gotten a roster of all of the students at the school (for investigation purposes only, I swear) (okay, and maybe a little for myself), and I was fairly sure there'd been a 'Reynolds' on it. "First name 'Mal'?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows. "I think he's even in my house."

[cplautumnflower.livejournal.com]

Good. Right. Excellent. The Cap was here. Her shoulders relaxed just an inch. "That's the man. What house?"

[earthto-mars.livejournal.com]

Hey, relaxing a little. I like that. "Gryffindor," I replied with a nod, balling up the buttered towel. "It's got a big painting of a fat chick in front of it. You can't miss it."