Several hours passed, and there was no response from Lily. As he had said in his letter, he hoped for one, but he didn't expect it. Reality was beginning to set in. At the beginning of when this mess had started, he had assumed they'd make it through this. It wasn't as though they were strangers to fights. But now he was more numb and sad than anything else. And hopeful, yes. But mostly numb and sad.
So as the time passed, he stopped watching for a return owl. He thought about getting some more Firewhisky, but decided to try one night without it. After all, he could be surprised yet. There was that hope again.
Ultimately, he transfigured himself into his Animagus form and curled up on the bed in a tight circle. It was easier not to think that way. Things were just simpler. The sadness wouldn't go away, but the details grew blurry, and he was able simply to lie there, and eventually to fall asleep for a little.
The knock on his door ((that I am godmodding in with permission from Lily-mun)) startled him from his nap, and he awoke with a soft yelp. Almost immediately, he transfigured himself back and got up off the bed.
It was probably Harry, checking up on him again. Maybe he would open the door and talk to him. He didn't want to scare his godson, after all, and he was sure that his behaviour over the past week and a half was doing just that.
Or maybe it was Lily. He tried not to get his hopes up, but...maybe it was Lily.
His mouth went dry and his heart started pounding, echoing in his ears as he walked over to the door. Being clean, shaven, and dressed, he didn't bother asking who it was; he knew just who had access to the suite, and it was about time he talked to somebody.
He just really hoped it was Lily.
He opened the door, and his heart sent from pounding to racing. He actually felt a little bit sick; things had ended on such a bad note between them, and now he was scared of what might happen. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to say everything.
He wanted to take her into his arms and never let her go.
But instead he stood there for a moment, staring, his eyes solemnly caressing her face with their gaze.
Actually, she looked quite wrecked. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her hair was rather mussed. And there was something about the way she was standing, about the way she was holding herself, something sad, something defeated, maybe. Sirius wasn't sure, but the state of her appearance made his chest ache, and he now he desperately wanted to hold her, to tell her that it would be all right. That they would be all right.
But he didn't. Almost automatically, one of his hands extended halfway to her, reaching to touch her face, but before it made it very far at all, he let it drop back down to his side.
After a very long moment, he said in a low, hoarse, hesitant whisper, "Hi. Do...you want to come in?"
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-05-30 10:35 pm (UTC)So as the time passed, he stopped watching for a return owl. He thought about getting some more Firewhisky, but decided to try one night without it. After all, he could be surprised yet. There was that hope again.
Ultimately, he transfigured himself into his Animagus form and curled up on the bed in a tight circle. It was easier not to think that way. Things were just simpler. The sadness wouldn't go away, but the details grew blurry, and he was able simply to lie there, and eventually to fall asleep for a little.
The knock on his door ((that I am godmodding in with permission from Lily-mun)) startled him from his nap, and he awoke with a soft yelp. Almost immediately, he transfigured himself back and got up off the bed.
It was probably Harry, checking up on him again. Maybe he would open the door and talk to him. He didn't want to scare his godson, after all, and he was sure that his behaviour over the past week and a half was doing just that.
Or maybe it was Lily. He tried not to get his hopes up, but...maybe it was Lily.
His mouth went dry and his heart started pounding, echoing in his ears as he walked over to the door. Being clean, shaven, and dressed, he didn't bother asking who it was; he knew just who had access to the suite, and it was about time he talked to somebody.
He just really hoped it was Lily.
He opened the door, and his heart sent from pounding to racing. He actually felt a little bit sick; things had ended on such a bad note between them, and now he was scared of what might happen. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to say everything.
He wanted to take her into his arms and never let her go.
But instead he stood there for a moment, staring, his eyes solemnly caressing her face with their gaze.
Actually, she looked quite wrecked. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her hair was rather mussed. And there was something about the way she was standing, about the way she was holding herself, something sad, something defeated, maybe. Sirius wasn't sure, but the state of her appearance made his chest ache, and he now he desperately wanted to hold her, to tell her that it would be all right. That they would be all right.
But he didn't. Almost automatically, one of his hands extended halfway to her, reaching to touch her face, but before it made it very far at all, he let it drop back down to his side.
After a very long moment, he said in a low, hoarse, hesitant whisper, "Hi. Do...you want to come in?"
Merlin, he hoped the answer was yes.