She was ice. She was a wall. She was impenetrable. Over and over she repeated this to herself, not letting a crack show. As his eyes swept over her face, she refused to let herself do the same. They were done. She was not going to allow for any weakness.
At least, not until she shut the door. Sliding to the ground, back to the door, she buried her face in her arms and simply broke down. There was no one left to be strong for, no one to protect. And Lily felt as if her heart had been literally ripped apart. There weren't even pieces any more so much as grains that scattered and left her hollow and cold and empty.
The castle had long since grown dark and still by the time Lily moved again. Pushing herself up, movements slow and hazy, she packed up a few things and headed up to Ravenclaw. She'd disassemble the suite another time. But she couldn't stay there. That was the place she'd made with her and Sirius in mind. It was too painful to even think about all she'd just lost; she could not live where they'd been happy together.
Her old room was dark and filled with Robin's excess shite, but she managed to find her bed. Fully clothed and with moonlight streaming in the open window, Lily curled up on her bed and stared out over the darkness.
After a long while, she waved her wand, transfiguring an old pair of shoes into curtains and putting them up over the window. Then, turning over, she closed her eyes and wished it all a horrible dream.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2007-05-28 08:52 am (UTC)At least, not until she shut the door. Sliding to the ground, back to the door, she buried her face in her arms and simply broke down. There was no one left to be strong for, no one to protect. And Lily felt as if her heart had been literally ripped apart. There weren't even pieces any more so much as grains that scattered and left her hollow and cold and empty.
The castle had long since grown dark and still by the time Lily moved again. Pushing herself up, movements slow and hazy, she packed up a few things and headed up to Ravenclaw. She'd disassemble the suite another time. But she couldn't stay there. That was the place she'd made with her and Sirius in mind. It was too painful to even think about all she'd just lost; she could not live where they'd been happy together.
Her old room was dark and filled with Robin's excess shite, but she managed to find her bed. Fully clothed and with moonlight streaming in the open window, Lily curled up on her bed and stared out over the darkness.
After a long while, she waved her wand, transfiguring an old pair of shoes into curtains and putting them up over the window. Then, turning over, she closed her eyes and wished it all a horrible dream.