House elf to Renata Leynier

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

"Do not drop it, I beg you," cautioned Robin, and the house elf nodded cheerily. Robin watched it go, the pot of fragrant white flowers held carefully out before it. He smiled to himself; he had included no note, but she would know who they were from.

Pleased with himself, he shouldered his bow and quiver and headed out through the courtyard toward the meadow.

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[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

Of course Renata knew. When one's significant other had a knack with plants, one never lacked for fresh flowers.

Ordinarily, she would have gone herself to thank him. She disliked employing owls to carry messages such short distances as within a single castle. Today, though, she was exhausted from matrix work with Gillian, so she wrote to him. He would understand (if for no other reason than that she had explained it to him) the effect such work had on her, and would understand what it meant that she had written.

They are lovely. I would have your advice on where I ought to put them; there is no window here. I have slept a little; I will be awake when you arrive. -R.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin had a quick discussion with a house elf before ging to Renata's room; as a result he bore with him a large tray, laden with food and drink. 'Rejuvenating and nourishing', he had specified, and the elves had done an excellent job, knowing it was for Renata, whom they clearly liked. A covered bowl with fragrant broth; a basket piled high with breads both sweet and plain; fruit and cheeses; tiny sparkling jars of honey, butter, jams, and jellies. In his pocket he had a tightly corked bottle of an herbal oil he had infused himself with rosemary and lavender.

He balanced the tray with some difficulty and knocked on her door. "House elf," he called.

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"You are not a house elf," Renata said, laughing, and opened the door. The house elves did like Renata, as she was accustomed to servants and had no awkwardness in accepting their service. "Nor did I call for one. I am well taken care of without them, it would seem."

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin grinned and bent to kiss her. "For you, I would become one. Where shall I put these things?"

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

Renata pointed to her desk, which was mostly clear of anything much except for flowers. "There, that will be the best place."

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

He put the tray down and pulled out the desk chair, bowing. "I hope you are hungry, my love." Robin took the lid off of the broth bowl with a flourish and a smile. "Will you dine with me?"

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"Gladly I will," said Renata. She had eaten and slept, yet still she was hungry and tired. The work she did was taxing. "That girl has such a long way yet to go," she sighed. "I think I can begin to help her manage what is properly hers. That other entity hinders us at every step ..." She had explained to Robin before something of Gillian's condition. On Darkover there were no such things as confidentiality agreements, and Renata warranted it no violation of privacy to discuss her work. She would not have told just anyone, but she did need a sounding board, and she trusted no one more than Robin.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

"That which she calls the Fury," said Robin thoughtfully, nodding in comprehension. He had never met Gillian, but what Renata had told him was more than enough to interest him in the girl's welfare. "No doubt it wants to control her entire consciousness, poor child. She must be very strong, to keep such malevolence at bay." He reached for Renata's hand. "And she has the best of guides." His faith in her ability was absolute; sometimes, when they were apart, he worried that the girl would weaken and Renata pay the price. But when he saw her, even tired like this, Robin was reassured: Renata would know if the girl was strong enough. And the only way for him to help was to give her his love unreservedly.

He was fascinated by Renata's gifts, though he knew it was possible he would not understand exactly what she did. "How are you going about teaching her control?"

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"Oh, we have not gotten nearly so far as that," said Renata ruefully, buttering a slice of some manner of sweet bread as she spoke. (It was banana nut bread. There are no bananas on Darkover.) "We are at work on the building of barriers. I shudder to think what it must have been like for her, reading others' thoughts, unable to shut them out completely or consistently. It would drive any telepath mad. The barrage of outside feelings and thoughts is part of what makes threshold sickness such a terrible thing. Evanda be thanked, the girl is at least past that age, though how she weathered it I cannot say. Any road, she overhears things, you might say; few of them things the persons whose thoughts they are would care to have shared. When she is with me there is quiet, of course, because I have been trained and can keep from broadcasting my thoughts. A good thing it is, too," she added, looking at him sideways, with a little smile.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin gave a low chuckle. "Indeed."

He poured her a glass of wine, and another for himself. "How do you go about building these barriers? Is it a matter of focus?" Focus Robin understood: concentration so acute that the world narrowed to a pinpoint. "Must you be constantly on guard lest a thought slip by? Or does it become more reflex over time?" That too Robin knew: how to seize a target and loose an arrow true without conscious thought. Renata's gifts were so different from his own, but occasionally they intersected, and Robin wanted to understand how.

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

Nibbling at the fruit-bread, Renata considered how best to phrase this. At last, after a sip of wine -- a very good wine, a sweet rich one -- she said: "To be candid, it is more natural for a telepath to develop barriers than not; it is a protective mechanism. It should not be a thing of great difficulty to learn to control these. In extraordinary cases, such as when extreme trauma of some kind has been suffered, the individual may develop such strong barriers that he cannot use his laran at all -- it is as though he never had it -- and for that, a catalyst telepath is needed, to awaken again the power that has been driven into dormancy. Gillian is quite the opposite. She has endured trauma, certainly, yet she has become all the more keenly sensitised for all that." She frowned. "These things are difficult to explain." Oh, she wished she could show him; but that would never be, and that was something Renata had accepted. It was simply so different, to need to put these things into words.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

"Poor child." Robin shook his head. "To suffer so, and so young. She should have been protected." He had known plenty of children who had suffered, but none quite like Gillian. "She is lucky to have been brought here, to you."

He placed the bottle of scented oil on the table between them. "Rosemary and lavender oil, to aid in muscle relaxation. I promise to remain clothed. This time," he added, with a grin. "Come, let me ease your cares."

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

Renata smiled in answer. "That is something I do not need house elves for, either, then, is it?" she teased. There was nothing carnal about this; it was something her bathwoman did for her at home, in the Towers, after a long session in the circle. She loved that she could trust him not to expect more of her when she could not give it; loved, too, the soothing energy he projected, something no servant could provide, nor anyone but her beloved. She disrobed and lay on the bed, face down, head turned, and while he tended to her, she said: "She may not be so lucky as that. Look how little I was able to do for poor Dori, in the end."

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin smoothed his hands over the warm flesh of her back, loving the feel of her skin under his palms. "That was no fault of yours, my love." Dorilys had been spoiled from her birth - Renata could not undo what others had wrought. And Gillian, while troubled, was not insane, he thought to himself, though he did not say it. "Surely some help is better than none," was what he said instead.

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

She knew he meant what he said; she could even see reason in it; but there was no comfort in it for her. "Gods grant that it be so for Gillian. For Dori, it was not. You are right, she had more than one teacher," and the catenas bracelet chilled her skin, "and such lessons are not easily undone. Still, the same can be said of Gillian. I cannot undo what she has already suffered, and it may be the ... imprint? ... of those experiences cannot be overwritten."

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin bent and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "You will do what may be done for her, and that is more than anyone else has done. And all anyone may ask. Do you see her again today, or on the morrow?"

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"I see her tomorrow morning, early, to work," said Renata, stretching. "I have asked her to dine with me tonight, however; I mean to see she eats enough. There is some cultural taboo against women eating much, here. Can you imagine it? Oh, it does not surprise me, Cassandra was appalled at how much she would need to eat when first she came to Hali; but it is such a very stupid thing."

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

Robin helped her to sit up, tugging the sheet up to cover her carefully - some temptations were more than human flesh could bear. "Foolish indeed, given the abundance of food here."

He tilted her chin up to look into her gray eyes. "Is there aught else I may do for you, beloved?" This was not about physical intimacy - Robin would never challenge Renata's limits in that way. And there would be time enough later.

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

She wrapped the sheet about her, and smiled up into his face. "Nothing at all, sweetheart, except to explain how I can tend these plants without sunlight! I should hate to see them languish here in the dungeons. A funny thing it is, too, to say that one lives in a dungeon; it does not feel like one at all, does it?" The room was not luxurious by a long shot, but it was comfortable, hardly a cell. "Perhaps there is some charm that can be used, to give them a light more nourishing than a candle ..." she mused.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

He grinned, touching her cheek. "You have discovered my cunning plan," he teased. "These - lily of the valley, they are called - they do not require much light, for the deep forest is their home. You may give them all that they need by taking them outside once each day, for about an hour." Robin smiled then, aware of this plan's shortcomings. "But I know that you cannot always take an hour for leisure. If you truly cannot be spared from your duties, I can take them, or a house elf will."

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps we might go together," Renata suggested.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

He bent and kissed her swiftly, almost chastely. "And thus have you uncovered the plan within my cunning plan," Robin said, his gaze soft on her face.

[renata-leynier.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you are clever," said Renata, both amused and touched. She made sure to find her robe again before she stretched up to requite his kiss with another.

[hernes-son.livejournal.com]

This kiss was less chaste, full of longing; Robin pulled away before he really wanted to, knowing he was testing limits he ought to avoid. He leaned his forehead against hers. "I should go," he said quietly, with a smile. "If you need me, and when you are ready, I will be waiting."