Application: Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House M.D.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Okay, so it wasn't Princeton. At all. Definitely not Princeton, for there sure wasn't a castle anyplace in the vicinity. In fact, Cuddy was beginning to think it might well be House's idea of some joke, knocking her over the head and bringing her to this place, wherever it was. And if that was the case, there weren't just clinic hours in his future, but endless clinic hours.

The paper with a questionnarre of sorts glared mockingly at her and Cuddy narrowed her eyes at it before lifting the pen.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? I'm vegan. Which translates into no animal of any kind, including dairy. Therefore, cheese isn't a part of my diet. House, you're going to have to come up with better questions than this.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Why bother? In a few years there'll be another disturbing fad waiting to traumatize the younger and older generations alike. Good enough there, House? What are you going to do, post these around the clinic, show off my wit and penmanship?

3. What time is it where you are? About five, last time I checked. Which also translates into three-hours-past-when-you-were-due-in-the-clinic.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I deal with enough sexual harassment on a daily basis from one employee begging for unpaid overtime and a good slap upside the head. I wouldn't want to inflict that sort of trauma on anyone else, so I'm going to say not applicable on this one. Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass. I really, really can.

5. If you are pushing to be in: Pushing to be in where? I haven't any idea. And House, since it's clear you're laughing yourself into a state of delirium right now, why don't you tell me what all this actually means? I'm Dean of Medicine, not playing one of your 'Choose Your Own Adventure' games. Out with it already.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do. Bribes..oh, easiest question yet. Upon my acceptance, I vow to wear no top other than the lowest cut blouse in existance. Yes House, lower cut than the normal. Am I in?

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _LC_
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _LC_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _LC_.

Comments

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

You're a vegan? How's that work, exactly? I mean, don't you miss meat, like, nutritionally speaking?

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Not at all. I can get the proteins and things I need from other places.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

I guess. But isn't it awfully limiting, choice-wise? I mean, I know it's admirable and all? but I just have a hard time imagining life without meat or dairy.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

It is a hard thing to do, and it's not for everyone. But I love the way I feel when I get up in the morning, after living like this for the previous day.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Love the way you feel physically, you mean, or is it like an idealism kind of feeling?

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Both, really. But it's mostly about the physical feeling. It's something worth a try.

Vote: Gryffindor

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I think I'll vote Gryffindor, on the grounds of commitment to idealism, then. Five'll get you ten you end up in Ravenclaw on account of the doctor thing, though.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

From your description that sounds very kind, so thank you. But I'm not sure what you mean by..Gryffindor and..Ravenclaw?

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh! Nobody's explained about the houses to you yet? Well, picture like a British boarding school with the students assigned into different houses, like college dorms only each with their own little identity.

We have eight here, four main ones and four kind of not-ready-for-prime-time houses. The main ones are Gryffindor, for the heroic and idealistic; Ravenclaw, for the smart and studious, lots of doctors land in there; Slytherin, for the cunning and ambitious; and Hufflepuff, for the useful, loyal, hardworking and None of the Above.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Okay, that sounds like a few things I've heard of before. And people here will tell me where to go based on their impressions of me?

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Well, we all get a vote, those of us who show up to use it. That's what all the talking's about. I think the wacky app is just to get conversations started.

We don't get the final say, though. You're gonna hate me for this...A magic hat comes and sits on your head and looks inside, and it tells you what house you go into. That's the last bit. And yeah, it's exactly as weird and unbelievable as it sounds. Just go with it, and once he's done you're sprung from the Sorting Room - that's here.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

A magic hat? Well..if it's how things are done here, then I'm sure it'll be okay. I hope people pardon my shock, it seems like that'd be the agreed upon reaction here.

And that is an interesting application. I bet I wasn't the only one that thought it was a joke.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. You're reacting exactly like a sane, sensible person should. Best thing is just to roll with it until you can get your feet under you.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing that's how you handled it, then? You seem well adjusted enough.