Application: Dr. Lisa Cuddy, House M.D.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Okay, so it wasn't Princeton. At all. Definitely not Princeton, for there sure wasn't a castle anyplace in the vicinity. In fact, Cuddy was beginning to think it might well be House's idea of some joke, knocking her over the head and bringing her to this place, wherever it was. And if that was the case, there weren't just clinic hours in his future, but endless clinic hours.

The paper with a questionnarre of sorts glared mockingly at her and Cuddy narrowed her eyes at it before lifting the pen.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? I'm vegan. Which translates into no animal of any kind, including dairy. Therefore, cheese isn't a part of my diet. House, you're going to have to come up with better questions than this.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Why bother? In a few years there'll be another disturbing fad waiting to traumatize the younger and older generations alike. Good enough there, House? What are you going to do, post these around the clinic, show off my wit and penmanship?

3. What time is it where you are? About five, last time I checked. Which also translates into three-hours-past-when-you-were-due-in-the-clinic.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I deal with enough sexual harassment on a daily basis from one employee begging for unpaid overtime and a good slap upside the head. I wouldn't want to inflict that sort of trauma on anyone else, so I'm going to say not applicable on this one. Yes, I can feel you staring at my ass. I really, really can.

5. If you are pushing to be in: Pushing to be in where? I haven't any idea. And House, since it's clear you're laughing yourself into a state of delirium right now, why don't you tell me what all this actually means? I'm Dean of Medicine, not playing one of your 'Choose Your Own Adventure' games. Out with it already.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do. Bribes..oh, easiest question yet. Upon my acceptance, I vow to wear no top other than the lowest cut blouse in existance. Yes House, lower cut than the normal. Am I in?

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _LC_
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _LC_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _LC_.

Comments

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid that sort of shirt is not precisely regulation, madam," Jeeves offered, looking somewhat disapproving. "There are some standards to dress that transcend borders. Welcome to Hogwarts, madam, is there something I might get you?"

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

"Hogwarts does not have standards," Dieter laughed, fresh from the shower. A white towel clung for dear life to his hips, and small droplets of water fell from his hair to the floor. You are very funny with your strange idea of a joke."

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Cuddy blinked, her own astonishment apparent. "A dress code here? I..where exactly is here?" The incredulous nature of her tone wasn't lost.

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

A blonde woman in black robes (standard Hogwarts uniform, though of course Cuddy won't know this) enters the room, reads the application, and shoots the newcomer a quizzical look.

"Where do you think you are? And what are you addressing? There are eight Houses here."

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

"Eight?" I don't know if the world can handle that, Cuddy thought, regarding the woman as quizzically as she was being regarded. "I only know of one. Doctor House, Gregory House? Tall, ill tempered, carries a cane?"

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth, dressed in a habitual floor- length Regency gown due to the cold weather, glanced over the application. She looked up with an expression of mingled alarm and amusement and managed a cursory curtsy.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet, pleasure to meet you. Pray forgive me madam, but are there bribes other than your... change in dress? I do not think such a bribe to be quite as... beneficial to me as to the male population of Hogwarts."

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

The female voice caught Cuddy's attention and she smiled, noting that things here might be different than she expected.

"It was more of a joke," she admitted. "I am a doctor. Would that be helpful, my medical knowledge?" Her smile was less nervous.

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

...Bzuh?

Newly... not a woman (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1262490.html#cutid1) due to rogue chocolates anymore, Wilson had taken it upon himself to embrace the lack of breasts again, and wander the castle. He seriously never thought he would miss slacks so much, after a whole day of tight jeans and... horrid, horrid panties. But seriously. Sorting Room. Of all people he didn't expect to see there...

"Cuddy?" he asked aloud, eyebrows raised in question as he took a few steps in. "I can't believe you're... How did you... Never mind, don't answer that. When did you get here?"

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

The familiar voice sent relief rushing through Cuddy's spine, and she whirled to face Wilson. Her emotions were apparent on her face and she didn't scrimp on her smile. "Just now," she said. "Literally, I just got here..wherever this is."

Whatever answers she needed, maybe Wilson could tell her.

"Where is this place?"

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Upon arrival, House could swear that he must have some sort of alarm that told him exactly when and where Cuddy was at all times. Actually, perhaps it was more of an anti-Cuddy alarm, because he'd had the overwhelming urge not to go into the sorting room - which he had, of course, ignored. And here was Cuddy. At least she couldn't foist clinic hours on him here. Though, knowing her, she might actually make connection with the head of the Hospital Wing and find some way of chaining him to the room and making him treat useless patient. Not a pleasant thought.

But there had been one thing he'd missed. "Oh, look! It's the Golden Globes!" House beamed, limping over and bending down slightly to talk directly to Cuddy's breasts. "I missed you. Did you miss me? I bet you did - I bet Dr. Cuddy has been mistreating you by wearing those cruel turtlenecks and shutting you off from the world."

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Cuddy's eyes rolled heavenward briefly before taking a step back, putting personal space between them. "I hate turtlenecks," she retorted, "and if this is your idea of a joke, House, you don't want to know what I'll do to retaliate."

Her arms folded beneath the chest he loved to stare at, and a toss of her head left her eyes to meet his. It wasn't funny, it really wasn't.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

You're a vegan? How's that work, exactly? I mean, don't you miss meat, like, nutritionally speaking?

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Not at all. I can get the proteins and things I need from other places.

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

I don't believe this House person is playing a trick on you.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Why is that? It wouldn't be unlike him.

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

'Trust me, with the amount of sexual harrasment that goes on around here--' (well, it does. Just not to her. Mostly.) '--that last answer really might not be in your best interests.'

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Why's that? Exactly what sort of place is this?

[torn-krimson.livejournal.com]

Who's House?

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

An employee of mine set out to complicate my life as much as he can. If you've seen him around here he's tall, ill-tempered, and carries a cane.

[stormqueen-dori.livejournal.com]

You're bossy.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say bossy as much the boss. Comes with the profession.

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

Medicine...? Give me a rib spreader or a bonesaw and I won't squib you. I need those.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

And just what line of work are you in that requires those?

[dinosaurman.livejournal.com]

For those of us who would prefer not to accept your bribe, what else do you have to offer?

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

You're telling me this is serious, that this isn't some joke the head of my diagnostics department is playing on me? In the case of that being true, a highly extensive knowledge of medicine, science, and over a decade of medical practice.

[dr-fraiser.livejournal.com]

Janet raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. "Is that last answer really appropriate from a Dean of Medicine?"

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Cuddy's brow furrowed. "Considering this looks to be nothing else than a prank being played on me by one of my employees?" Her resolve was fading a bit, and she was starting to wonder when she could go home.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Oh dear oh dear. I'm afraid that this won't do.

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

You're the hat I've been hearing about..oh, this really isn't a joke, is it? I am a doctor, it's been the entire focus of my life..

Ravenclaw!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

I look forward to seeing your boobs on display, Doctor!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Ravenclaw!

ooc

[reuben-sandwich.livejournal.com]

Hey. Just doing the interaction rule thing: I'm unpopcorning House. Don't know what else I'm supposed to tell you and have no idea if you're still active in the game, so... hello? :-)

Re: ooc

[drlisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Hi! Great to see you here! :) I still try to be active and whatnot ere, so..hmm, what do you say we do a RP with these two? Anything and any way that you like! I think it'd be great to have Cuddy out and about here some more.