A First Date (Closed RP for Sirius and Lily)

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Her room looked like a potions explosion had gone off in her closet. Every article of clothing Lily owned was currently scattered around her floor. Standing, shirtless, in a pair of faded jeans, she ran her hands through her hair in frustration. Sirius was going to be there in less than an hour and she'd already tried on what felt like a hundred different outfits - all rejected as 'too'. Too fancy, too casual, too tarted up, too much like hanging out with her best mate, too short, too frumpy... Everything, though, was just a bit too tight (which, though she didn't realize it, was part of Eris' revenge), which made her incredibly annoyed.

Finally, completely disgusted with her own sudden trip to Girly Town, Lily grabbed some clothes and headed into her bathroom to shower. Emerging a half-hour later, dressed, finally, in something that at least didn't make her look like a grandmum, Lily flicked her wand a few times towards the mess, cleaning up enough to make it appear like she didn't just spend half a day digging through her wardrobe. Her hair hung loose in waves down her back and Lily spent an extra several minutes doing up her makeup. Some perfume was dabbed on her wrists and just under her ears.

Just as she finished zipping up her boots, there was a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, trying to settle the butterflies in her stomach down enough to tone down the incredibly goofy smile on her face, Lily pulled open the door.

"Hey."

((ETA: Now rated 'R' for almost-but-not-quite smut. And thus begins the ice-chewing.))

Comments

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

"Hey." Sirius's tone was low and soft as he stood in Lily's doorway, wearing a black button-up shirt (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Siriusfirstdateblackshirt.jpg) and a pair of black trousers that he had had a house-elf iron at the last moment, because he couldn't do an ironing spell to save his life. His face was clean shaven (probably for what was only the second time since Valentine's Day (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1166362.html)), and his hair was combed and slightly wet, the tips just touching below the collar of his shirt. In one of his hands, he held a bouquet of roses of a variety of colours (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/RoseBouquet.jpg).

And then he just stood there, looking at her. Of course, she looked beautiful - radiant, even. He wasn't used to seeing her in such form-fitting clothes, and the way her hair stood out against the dark fabric of her shirt was absolutely stunning.

Merlin, Sirius couldn't believe he was there. Doing this.

And he had absolutely no idea what to say.

After the pause lengthened even further, he finally blurted out, "Oh, for Merlin's sake! I've never seen you look lovelier, and here, I brought you flowers." He held out the bouquet to her.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

A blush tinged her cheeks as Lily grinned at him, reaching for the bouquet. "Thank you," she murmured, suddenly feeling awkward and gangly - like everything about her was of the wrong size and she didn't know what to do with her hands. Turning, Lily walked over to her desk, finding a vase and filling it with water from the end of her wand. Placing the flowers in, she leaned over briefly to inhale the fragrance. Her room was now officially covered in flowers from Sirius, and she absolutely loved it. It'd been a long time since a bloke she was involved with brought her flowers.

Looking back over at him, she winked, "You're a handsome bloke, Sirius Black." And that shirt made him look amazing. Picking up her jacket (http://www.pendragoncostumes.com/images/leather_trench_detail.gif), Lily walked back over, reaching up to kiss him lightly in greeting. "I love the roses."

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius watched her as she tended to the flowers, admiring the way her skirt swished against her legs as she walked. A smile, tiny and subtle in its beginnings, took hold of his features, and by the time she had come back to him, it had developed into a full-on grin, which dissipated only for the purposes of kissing her back.

"My pleasure." His hand came to rest on one of her shoulderblades, and then, briefly glancing up at her room, he suddenly barked out a laugh. "I've been giving you flowers for a while now, haven't I? Merlin, ol' McG was right - I was rather obvious about the whole thing (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1207304.html?thread=61646088#t61646088), wasn't I? No offence, Evans, but you must be quite dense if you didn't see it. Even I'm starting to see it now. Pathetic!"

Still chuckling, he looped his arm around her shoulders. "Ready to go?"

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Both eyebrows sliding up slowly as her arm went around his waist, Lily said, "McGonagall knew? Merlin, did everyone know? Perry and House are in the throes of massive gloating over it." Wrinkling her nose at him she added, "And I am not dense, Black. No more than you. Think I go out of my way to make meals for just any old bloke? Besides, if I assumed everyone who brought me flowers liked me..." Trailing off, she considered. Since the last man who had give her flowers had been James, perhaps Sirius had a point.

Pausing, Lily then started to laugh. "Right. I take it back. We're both pathetic."

Eyes shining as she looked up, free hand reaching to absently straighten his collar, Lily nodded. "Lead on, sweetheart." A silly grin crossed her face. "I can't believe that Sirius sodding Black is taking me on a date. Life's a funny thing." What was even stranger was how much she was looking forward to it. She assumed it was going to be a meal at The Three Broomsticks, like they had a hundred times before, but now everything was so new and different that nothing could seem mundane. Her head leaned against his shoulder as they started out towards Hogsmeade.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Now it was Sirius's turn to be taken aback, and he stopped for a moment to turn and look at Lily. "Perrilicious and bloody House are gloating?" He groaned and then started walking again. "Oh, Merlin, I'm going to have to avoid the two of them, aren't I? I mean, I should be thankful they didn't spill it all to you earlier, when they found out how I felt, but...." He groaned once more. "I'm going to have to cast a Silencing Spell on them, I know it."

After a pause, he laughed. "You know what? I don't bloody care. They can say whatever they want. They're not the ones dating you, are they?" His face settled back into what had apparently become its default expression since the night Lily dedicated that song - a huge grin.

They were nearing Hogsmeade now, and as they approached the gates, a very strange feeling began to come over Sirius. It was like he was reliving a moment that had already happened once before (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1166362.html?thread=59546394#t59546394). The gates, him, Lily, his arm around her, the both of them dressed up for a nice night out and -

He stopped short and began laughing again, this time quite wildly.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Smugly, Lily said, "I gave Perry ten minutes and House five. Then I said I never wanted to hear about it again." Blinking, then, Lily looked up at Sirius, eyes widening. "Hang on - they knew about you? I thought they just knew about me! Bloody hell." Muttering something about grumpy old doctors and needing to get their own lives, Lily's grumbling was cut off by what Sirius said next.

Pausing slightly, she felt a sudden thrill go through her. "So, we're dating now?" she asked quietly, a huge grin of her own on her face. It was...odd, to think of it that way. And not something she ever thought would happen. So, all in all, Lily definitely approved.

His outbreak of laughter made her stop and pull away slightly, frowning a little in bafflement. "What now, Black?" However, as per usual, his laughter was contagious, and she found herself smiling up at him. Merlin, she loved him. When he smiled, his entire face lit up and caused her stomach to do the most pleasant flips and twirls. Shaking her head sadly, Lily intoned, "Poor Black. Finally lost his mind. Well, it was nice while it lasted."

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

After a little while, Sirius managed to calm himself enough to say between laughs, "We're idiots! Complete and utter idiots!" He laughed some more. "I mean, you do realise we've been here before, right? You and I - we were here! Dressed up, me shaven, you looking all pretty - well, prettier than usual, at any rate - and I gave you flowers and we were walking just like this to Hogsmeade. Valentine's Day! It was a date! Who the hell were we fooling?! It was a date!" Sirius laughed some more, and then he pulled Lily in and kissed her on the top of her head.

Still smiling, he added, "And if that was a date and this is a date, then yeah...I reckon we're dating." His laughter finally shrank down into a more quiet sort of contentment as he adjusted his arm around her shoulders and started to lead her into Hogsmeade.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Well...huh. Slowly, Lily grinned ruefully. "I always was rubbish at things like this," she told him, laughing. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen the similarities at the time - in fact, those had been part of the reason the entire night had been bittersweet. Yes, it was wonderful to be with him like that, to spend time with him. But, at the time, Lily had been convinced that she loved him hopelessly, that she would have to continue to love him in silence. "I almost told you. How I felt." Once more, Lily was cuddled close to his side, her arm around him. "On the dance floor, I almost just came out with it. Until that bloke spilled his drink all over me. I just...hated lying to you, but I was so terrified you'd never speak to me again if you knew." Tipping her head back, she smiled tenderly at him. Giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, she added, "But I think I'm going to count this as our first. Just, you know, for future reference."

Merlin, the thought of having a future with Sirius - the kind filled with anniversaries and significant dates and his arm around her like this - made Lily grin wider, laughing a little just from sheer happiness.

"So..." She pondered that a moment as they walked. "I am dating the infamous Sirius Black. What would the girls from school say?" In truth, it was too weird of a concept to think of actually dating Sirius. Was he her boyfriend, then? That...sounded odd. What else would she call him? He'd been her 'best mate' for too long - anything else rang false. Thus lost in her thoughts, Lily suddenly realized she had no idea where they were headed. "Er...are we lost?"

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius nearly stopped again. He very clearly remembered the time Lily was talking about (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1166362.html?thread=61014298#t61014298). "That's what you were going to tell me?" Even though that moment was weeks in the past and he knew how Lily felt about him now, he let out a long sigh of relief. "Merlin, I had thought you were going to tell me you had worked out how I felt about you. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1166362.html?thread=61041690#t61041690) Because that night - it was so hard for me to keep you at arm's length." Then he sighed again, this time in a content sort of way, and pulled her a little bit closer to him. "Now I don't have to."

The thin layer of snow remaining from the last storm made a dull crunching sound under Sirius's feet as he walked with Lily through the Hogwarts gates and into the town. "I've no idea what the girls from school would say," he said with a chuckle. "I'm apparently oblivious to everything they say. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1166362.html?thread=60598042#t60598042)"

They passed The Three Broomsticks and Zonkos, and then the street leading to the Hog's Head, and still, Sirius kept going. "Nope, not lost," he said, his steps long and casual. He didn't elaborate further, although inside he was positively gleeful about the surprise he had prepared.

By now, they were into the residential part of Hogsmeade, strangely shaped houses made of all sorts of materials interspersed amongst the snow-dusted trees on both sides of the street. Finally, Sirius stopped in front of a short, squat yellow one. It had a tall, twisted chimney made of brick jutting out from a wooden roof with some sort of tubular formation hanging off one side.

Sirius grinned at Lily and then knocked on the door. A stout middle-aged woman with long black hair and a friendly smile opened the door.

"Sirius! Come on in," she said, gesturing at both of them to enter. "And Lily Potter, it's wonderful to meet you! I've heard all about you - and your son, of course. It's an absolute pleasure to have you in my home. I'm Wendy Lai. Come, come in!"

She motioned for them to step into a small, circular room. In the center was a round table with room for just two people, draped with a cream-coloured tablecloth and a bamboo centrepiece (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Bamboocenterpiece.jpg). Multicoloured paper lanterns (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Paperlanterns.jpg) were floating just below the ceiling, and the walls were adorned with hand-painted fans (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Chinesefan.jpg) and scroll paintings (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Chinesescrollpainting.jpg). Sirius took Lily's hand and led her to the table.

"D'you like it?" he asked, and he had to admit to himself that he was suddenly very nervous.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius bit into his crab claw and chewed a few times before he noticed the awkward silence and the way Lily's eyes were suddenly focused on the table.

Leaning forward and trying to get her to look at him, he squeezed her hand and shook it lightly. "You all right?"

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Blinking, Lily looked up and tried to smile. "Yeah, no, I'm fine."

Right, that probably wasn't going to fly. Leaning forward, completely serious, eyes worried and wide and fixed on his face, Lily asked, "Do you think you're going to get bored with me? I mean, you already... And I'm very odd. I spend hours in the library, and I tend to get a bit absorbed with my research and lose track of time, and..." Swallowing, she toyed her thumb along the side of his hand. Suddenly, she felt the urge to attach some sort of warning label to her forehead, giving Sirius the chance to back out now.

"My temper is horrendous. Seriously, you'll spend more time arguing with me over silly things than you care to imagine. And I have, er, rather a lot of baggage, and you shouldn't have to worry about that. Are you sure...you should have someone who can... You deserve the world, Sirius. You deserve someone who will make you deliriously happy. You deserve someone who can support you when you need it and who can let you be a man through it all. You deserve someone who makes you laugh, who lets you cry, who understands that you shout when you're angry. You deserve someone who will stand by your side always and who won't give up on you. You deserve someone who isn't broken, who isn't afraid, who isn't so wrapped up in herself that she lets you get hurt. You deserve someone who's experienced, someone who won't disappoint you. You deserve someone who isn't going to fall apart over silly fears and who won't lose her temper at the drop of a hat. Who is better than I am. Someone who can give you everything you need, everything you want, everything you should have." Looking a little shocked that all of that had just spilled out, Lily sighed and looked down at her plate. "You deserve someone so much more than me, Sirius. I'm going to fuck this up, I know it, and I'm terrified of that."

Forcing a little laugh, but not quite able to raise her eyes to him, Lily shrugged. "See. I told you. I'm nutters. Best run now, whilst you still have the chance."

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius listened, a confused frown on his face. What in Merlin's name was she on about?

When she was done, he put his crab claw down and reached forward to put his hand over hers, so that now her hand was sandwiched between both of his. Looking at her with open, earnest eyes, he said with a slight laugh, "You, my dear, are anything but boring." Then he shrugged. "I dunno. I've tried to talk myself out of it for the past several months, but the fact is, I'm fucking crazy about you." And damn, it felt good to be able to say that to her. "And don't you see - you do all of those things. And your baggage - it's the same as mine!"

He didn't know how to explain it further. The fact, plain and simple, was that she was the one person who had understood him and who had been there when he most needed it, in ways that he hadn't even realised he had needed at the time. She was the one person who understood his motivations, even if she didn't always agree with them.

"You make me deliriously happy," he said in a low tone, and then he pushed himself forward and out of his chair and kissed her.

The kiss, barely two seconds long, was interrupted by a voice, smiling and amused. "You seem to be doing just fine after all." Wendy was standing in the doorway holding a tray full of several dishes.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

"Oh." And then she was smiling at him, like the sun breaking out from the clouds; and as he kissed her Lily honestly felt as if she could soar right out the window. "All right, then."

Her free hand went out to cup his face. "Yeah," she said, grinning. "He's doing brilliantly." That wild fluttering had subsided, now, and had been replaced by a more subdued rush of anticipation and sheer joy. She made him happy. That was...well, that was sodding amazing, was what it was. And as much as Lily didn't understand it, she was thrilled.

Brushing her thumb along his cheek, Lily then let her hand drop and turned to look with interest at what Wendy had brought in. Her other hand, though, the one still twined with his, tightened on his fingers. She made him happy. He wanted to be with her. All right. Maybe it would be fine, then. Maybe this would work out.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius shot Lily a quick smile as his heart did some fluttering of its own, and then he sat back down in his chair, his hand squeezing hers back. All over again, he found it hard to believe that he was lucky enough to be sitting there with her like that.

Wendy made her way over to them and set the tray down next to the table, quickly charming it to hover next to them. On it was an assortment of dishes (http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/miss__sophia/Chinesefood.jpg). "I'll just leave you two to enjoy," she said and then quickly walked out of the room.

Sirius leant over and looked at the tray. Wendy had cooked for him a number of times, but he was still rather unfamiliar with what everything was. And he had never got the hang of chopsticks. One hand still occupied in Lily's, he picked up the chopsticks in the other and held them out awkwardly over the food. "So how do you reckon this works?"

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

She laughed, a low, rolling sound, and picked up her own chopsticks. "Yeah," she snorted, frowning in concentration as she maneuvered her fingers into what she assumed was the correct manner. Maybe. If what she'd seen on the telly was right - not that Lily spent a great deal of time studying chopstick-holding. "Like I have the first clue. You're the one who's done this before. I'm just along for the ride, Black."

One finger still occupied itself in making absent little circles against the skin of Sirius' hand as she considered the food. Right. Finally deciding that her hunger outweighed her desire to look competent, Lily simply stabbed the nearest thing with the chopsticks and, shooting him a smug grin, popped it into her mouth. "That worked," she said around the food, laughing.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

He laughed. "I always used a fork." Several times, without success, he tried to somehow manoeuver the chopsticks into grasping something. It didn't help that he wasn't left-handed and his right hand was within Lily's. Finally, after a number of fruitless attempts, he pulled Lily's hand towards himself, gave it a small kiss, and then let go.

"Right. Let's do this the proper way." He reached into a pocket and pulled out his wand. Pointing it at the chopsticks, he muttered an incantation. Then he handed one of his chopsticks to Lily, keeping the other for himself. "All right, watch and learn." He pointed his chopstick at a shrimp. The shrimp immediately floated up into the air and, with the remote guidance of the chopstick, into his mouth.

Satisfied, he repeated the process with some sort of vegetable and then a wad of noodles. "Wizarding chopsticks," he laughed. "Go on, give it a try."

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Her heart gave the most delicious lurch as he kissed her hand, and that almost made up for the fact that he'd let it go. Sure, it was practical - she knew he was right-handed and she'd very effectively occupied his right hand since the meal began - but Lily had been a firm advocate of simply keeping a hold of him from now on. Ah, well. That probably would have gotten rather awkward after a bit. A soft smile crossed her face and she watched with interest as he pulled out his wand.

Starting to laugh about halfway through his incantation, Lily's eyes sparkled with amusement as she reached out and took the proffered chopstick. Eyebrows raising, she gestured towards a bit of shrimp, guiding it into her mouth. As her lips closed around it, she reached up to take the tail as she bit it off, placing it down on her plate. "This is so cheating," she informed him, bringing over some noodles. "I think the 'proper way' is just to stab things until they give in."

Merlin, this food was good. And one lovely thing about being out with Sirius - she didn't have to worry about looking like a glutton. Not only would he out-eat her every time, he'd seen her stuffing her face on countless occasions. If it bothered him, he'd never have fallen for her. Working her way through some of the vegetables, alternating it with the meat from the platter, she looked over at him from time to time. She was quite possibly the luckiest woman in the world.

Under the table, her foot found his leg and she gently rubbed her toes along the back of his calf. All while keeping a completely innocent expression on her face, of course. "I should get Wendy to teach me how to make this," she said, pointing her chopstick at one particular dish. "I...haven't the foggiest what this is, but it's amazing."

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

He had been in her room many times. He had slept in her room on a number of occasions. He had even slept in her bed before. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/925868.html)

But now, all of a sudden, being in her room meant something entirely different. Looking down at her, he nodded, his heart suddenly thudding against his ribcage. "I'd like that."

This was real. It was happening. He couldn't believe it.

He let go of her hand so she could open the door, moving his hand up to her shoulder.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Expelling one long breath, Lily nodded. Her fingers fumbled on her wand and, for a moment, she couldn't remember how to lower her wards. But then they were down and the door was open and she turned to stare up at him for a moment. Eyes sweeping his face, large and bright, all of the masks and the distance she'd been forced to keep just...gone. There was only the two of them. Slowly, she eased her coat off of her shoulders and then off of her arms, draping it over the back of a chair.

Then, just as slowly, her gaze still on him as if gaging his reactions, as if waiting for this all to be a dream, she moved into his arms, her own arms wrapping around his waist. "Hey," she murmured.

And it was like they were on a threshold. She could see it, so clearly. It had nothing to do with sex (or, currently, the lack of it) or feelings revealed or any of that. It was the fact that him being in her room was different, now. Because he had a right to be, in a way he hadn't before. He had a right to be a part of her life, to have parts of her, that he simply hadn't before. That made her smile up at him, and she reached her fingers up to brush a bit of hair off of his forehead. "I love you." Because it bore repeating. And also because she just did. There was a wonderful freedom in getting to say it out loud.

Then Lily simply stood there, looking up at him, and waited. Her heart going so fast she was sure he could feel it pounding against her chest, her breath lost somewhere in the back of her throat, she waited.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Slowly, he followed her into the room, the question of what would happen in just moments heavy and thick in the air between them. Because it was clear they were both expecting something, but actually saying something about it was somehow not an option.

Normally, he would have flopped into a chair or onto her bed by now, but this time he stood there just beyond the doorway, watching as she took off her coat. When she came to him, he easily put his arms around her, drawing her in.

"Hey," he replied, his voice at the lower end of its register, soft and rumbly like riverwater flowing over pebbles. One hand curled around the back of her neck, fingers pushed through her hair. And then she said those words again, and they went straight into his chest, pulling and tugging at his heart. She loved him.

He paused, letting the strength of her words sink in, and then he opened his own mouth. "I - ...." His voice cut off in a hoarse croak. Without thinking any longer about it, he closed his eyes and lowered his head, and then his lips were against hers. With that one motion, all of the thickness in the air dissipated, and all that was left was him and her, two people who had lost so much that they had clung to each other with all of their might and eventually gained a new beginning.

And this time, he didn't hold back. He kissed her with every tiny shred of everything he felt for her, lips moving softly, but urgently against hers. He didn't even realise it when a quiet moan, deep in timbre, found its way out of the back of his throat. All he felt was her in his arms and against his lips.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Eyes sliding shut, with a soft sigh Lily melted into him. This was what she'd been wanting, what she'd been needing, for so long. Him. Just him.

Her hands slid up his chest and the wrapped around his neck, pulling herself closer as she kissed him. Fireworks and explosions and seventy-six sodding trombones had nothing on this - Lily felt as if the world began and ended right where their lips met.

His groan sent a shot of something hot and urgent through her and she answered it with her own. "Sirius," she managed when she broke for a breath; then she pressed her lips back to his. With everything in her, she kissed him, mouth parting slightly, tongue finding its way to tangle with his. She wanted to taste him, wanted him to surround her, wanted every sense to be on fire with him.

One hand dropped to fist in his shirt, tugging him along with her as she backed up towards her bed. Her mouth, though, never left his, even when the backs of her knees hit the mattress and she fell back, pulling him after her.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Sirius kissed her with a strange mix of relief and building desire. It felt so good to be able to do this - finally - after he had completely written off the possibility that it could ever happen even as he had occasionally allowed himself to become tempted by the prospect. But with each passing second, with each motion he made against her lips, or she against his, he wanted more.

The whole evening, in a sense, had built up to this. Of course, it had been far more than that; he just loved spending time with her - talking, laughing, and even just sitting there in comfortable silence. But this - what they were doing at that moment - had obviously been on both of their minds, and it felt amazing to finally be there, even as it made Sirius crave more.

He allowed her to tug him forward, slowly walking into her with each backward step she took, not allowing the distance between them to widen. When she hit the bed, he dropped forward, the hand that had been in her hair moving to support his weight, and the other one helping to guide her back so there was room for him to bring his knees up.

Now he was hovering over her, his lips softly enveloping hers and then pulling apart so he could feel her tongue, soft and warm and velvety, on his. Their combined breaths, quick but even, played in his ears like the soft rumble of the light waves in one of the bays he had stopped at in Africa, in, out, in, out, the wet lapping sounds of their mouths echoing the noises of the water as it had pooled before being tugged back to sea by the undertow.

He had done this before, of course, with many people, men and women, but this was definitely different. He didn't just want her; he needed her, and he loved her, and that made what they were doing resonate on a level far deeper than flesh and nerves.

And suddenly, he wanted her to know that, and so he pulled back a little, kissing her several times in succession before moving his mouth down along her neck and then up to her ear.

"I love you," he whispered, and although the words still felt strange in his mouth, it was freeing to say them. It was like flying on a broomstick for the first time - terrifying, with no ground under you, nothing to support you after you shoot up into the air...but incomprehensibly brilliant once you breathe, once you realise that you're going to go higher, not fall, that the earth is still beneath you and always will be, but now you've discovered a new way to look at it.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

This was what she'd come back for.

The thought, again, flashed through her mind as Sirius kissed her, as every movement of their mouths together made this more solid, more real. Lily let one hand tangle into his hair, feeling the strands slide between her fingers. This was happening. He was here, with her, now. All that time they'd spent, both wanting, both terrified to move forward - it had all fallen away.

For Lily, this was so much more than just a good snog, just a casual meeting of two warm bodies. It wasn't just a fuck, which was what she'd been so certain her life would be filled with, now. It was Sirius. It was the man she loved, the one person she fit with. And every bit of her was aware of that.

As his mouth left hers to wander onto her neck, Lily tipped her head back with a sigh. This was everything she wanted. All the things she'd barely allowed herself to dream of. Not just the physical - though, Merlin, the way he was kissing her was making a sinuous coil of desire curl in her belly and her flesh prickle hot - but the fact that her feelings were returned.

And then those words, that glorious declaration that made Lily's mouth curve into a wide grin and a breathless laugh escape her. "I love you," she repeated. Eyes opening to look at him, tender and caressing in their gaze, in the way she held him within them, Lily lifted her free hand to trace one finger around his mouth. "I love you, Sirius Black."

To say that, to him, to know that he felt the same... The physical was transcended by the emotional - the intimacy they might achieve with skin and mouths and bodies pressed close was only an echo of the fact that they were, in fact, enmeshed. She was his, wholly. Not in any way that made her less; but, in fact, in that freeing way that allowed her to be complete.

Grinning, Lily lifted her head to kiss him again. Languidly, deeply, until her heart was thundering against her chest, roaring in her ears, until all there was in her entire existence was Sirius. Then, breath ragged, she pulled away to press heated kisses along his jaw, down his neck. Sucking slightly on his skin, running her tongue in circles at each spot, a soft moan rumbled in the back of her throat. "I want you," she murmured as she traced a heated path down to the crook of his neck. To the place where her head had always fit so perfectly. Her hand stroked down his back and played along the hemline of his trousers. "Merlin, Sirius, I've wanted you for so long." Each word barely formed, lost as she tasted his skin, as she pulled him closer. She never wanted this to end - this, right here, with them. Lily wanted to be in his arms forever.

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

As she laughed, he, too, opened his eyes and looked down at her - at her eyes, at the way they looked back at him - and that's when it hit him how different this was from what they had done on New Year's, on that very bed (http://lilypotter60.livejournal.com/5314.html). As much as he had tried to convince himself that she had been doing those things with him because she had felt the same way, the fact was that he hadn't seen himself in her eyes at all. Instead, they had been unfocused and filled with numbness, heartache, and a drunken fog.

But now he did see himself. He was there in her smile, too, and that made him grin back against her lips as she lifted her head to kiss him again. When she broke away, he lowered his head against hers, the tips of his hair brushing the side of her neck as she reached up to kiss his. The touch of her hand on his back sent tingles across his flesh, and the things she whispered into the soft, freshly shaven skin on his neck pushed those tingles even deeper. He dropped down on top of her with a soft voiceless grunt, one hand pushing up under her shirt and over one breast, gripping and squeezing it lightly before skimming down to the smooth skin of her belly, testing the way it felt as his palm slid over it.

"I want you, too, baby," he panted. Already half-hard, he squirmed slightly against her and then, in an effort to distract himself so things wouldn't get out of control too quickly, started trying to kick off his shoes, causing him to squirm even more. His hand moved back up again, drawn to the sloping swell of her breast and the way it fit perfectly in his hand.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily arched back slightly, a sharp gasp getting all tangled up in her throat as his hand slid across her skin. Eyes fluttering shut, she grinned suddenly at his words. "Silly bloke," she murmured, both hands winding in his hair and pulling him back to her. "You have me."

Her mouth was moving on his, then, hungry and demanding. Her breaths came harsh and ragged in her ears as her lips pulled on his and her tongue explored his mouth. Hands sliding down his chest, she then pushed her fingers under his shirt, desperate to feel his skin.

Turning gracefully, she gently pushed him over so that she was straddling his waist. Leaning down, hair falling in waves and tickling against his neck, Lily began to unbutton his shirt. Her lips followed after; heated, open-mouthed kisses claiming every inch of newly-exposed skin. Too much clothing still lie between them, and Lily reached down one hand - the other still fumbling with buttons and her mouth still very much engaged in mapping out Sirius' chest - to unzip one boot and pull it off. Tossing it to the side, she repeated the process with the other before gratefully returning her full attention to rendering Sirius shirtless. "Merlin, you're so gorgeous," she said as she finally pushed the shirt fully open and swirled her tongue around his belly button. And she meant it. No matter what Azkaban and the year as a fugitive had done to him, Lily still found him heart-achingly handsome. Every breath, every touch, every movement made her want him more, made her need him more. Moving her hips against him a little, she kissed her way back up to his mouth.