Pickles (the drummer) (doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo) ; Metalocalypse

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

((Okay'd by zee Dethklok muns!))


Definitely not as cool as Mordhaus. But hey. Any kind of castle's pretty brutal.

What looks like just about the only man to be able to be just about totally Irish and pull off a dreadlock'd comb-over suddenly appeared in the middle of the sorting room, giant cloud of TOTALLY METAL smoke wafting out through the air and sort of settling on the ground before disappearing completely. He... may or may not have been in his underwear. With a bottle of vodka clutched in a hand. Which was actually pretty normal for Pickles, considering.

Well, not the castle thing. That was pretty new.

And he looked pretty petrified of this whole revelation, eyes wide and nearly dropping the vodka (but, you know, not actually dropping it, because that would be a waste) and all. You can't just shock a thoroughly sloshed guy into Scotland without warning. It's not very nice.

Now, Pickles was hard enough to understand in the first place, heavy accent of unknown origin and all, so with a bit of alcohol slurring his system... Well. "Hey, man, the squealy guitar noisefuck's goin' on down here? I mean, I was just gettin' a drink and, I mean, now I'm in the middle of some..." He doesn't actually know where he is, actually. Should probably get to the bottom of that.




1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Cheese? I mean, what the fuck, man, I'm just mindin' my own business and you're up in here askin' about cheese, and, I mean, seriously, man, the hell's your problem?" Pickes face was severely frown-y as he glanced around the room and... realized there was really no higher power to answer that question. ...Oh well. Maybe he could make the most of this. It has to be better than staying back at Mordhaus. No, seriously. Being cooped up in the same building as Murderface and only Murderface for a few weeks? Kind of grates on a guy's sanity. Or lack thereof.

"But, hey, you know, I'm cool with that crappy slice-y stuff that... You know... 's all on the sandwiches and crap and. Hey, man, it's tasty. It's, uh. It's pretty good."


2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

That's... actually a pretty hard question. "Ain't they both those crap guys in the..." Hang on! "Wait, wait, Carrottop? Aw, man, he's that douchebag in those stupid phone commercials with the... the phone and... that voice and the hair and you know he totally fucked over the redheads and the Irish with those things." Pickles kind of jabs at the application quick, accidentally sloshing a bit of vodka onto the parchment and... oops. "Yeah, dude, that guy. I'd put'm,uh. I'd put'm through a fuckin' blender. And. Maybe use his blood for somethin' cool. Like painting or." What's something metal you can do with a television spokesperson's blood? ...Pretty much anything.


3. What time is it where you are?

"Hey, man, I don't friggin' know, I'm just in my underwear."

He takes a big swig of vodka. Time to drink more is what.


4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?

Whoa. This application is pretty metal. "Comin' back from the dead? just to heh-RAY-ass some chicks? I mean, that's gotta be... gotta be pretty brutal. Cuz... cuz, I mean, seriously. There'd be like those limbs fallin' off everywhere and... and, hey, those phoenixes are pretty metal too, all that fire and birds and... fried chicken and... man, sign me up for that."

Er. He's not exactly answering the question. But maybe if he knew what the hell the Order of the Phoenix was, it would help. So he'll just leave it at fried chicken.


5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Bartending? In the dark? Well, the dark part was pretty brutal - you could totally get a bottle to the head or something. But he'd really just rather drink.

Except. "Hey, if you're one'a those bartender guys, ain't you all in the back with the drinks and the hook-ups and all that shit? Cuz, man, that bar wouldn't even matter, man, it could be all just... 'The Bar' and I'd totally do that. You know?" Because, hey. Free booze! "But, uhhh... I mean, if I'm comin' up with a name? That's pretty metal. So, yeah. I'd be callin' it." He paused a beat. For emphasis. And totally not to have to think up a name. "Yeah, just. 'The Bar'. And then they'd all be. 'Where you goin'?'. And it'd be. 'THE BAR'. And yeah, I'd be pretty famous." Like he wasn't already. "Awesome."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Harry? Fred? George? Who the fuck were these douchebags? "Man, gettin' married, it's like, uh. Yeah, it's crap. Cuz, even just girlfriends totally blow ass and. Yeah. And. They shouldn't. I mean, what the hell happened to good ol' threesomes, is what I mean." He paused, maybe just to take another big swallow of vodka. "...Yeah, that's about it. Threesome. Sounds pretty frickin' awesome."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Paperwork? Obviously... this person whozawhatsit that wasn't existing at the moment... was not a billionaire like Pickles was. Because he was pretty sure Ofdensen did all that. Or maybe they were so metal that they didn't even have paperwork. Maybe it just, like... burned away and they didn't need it. "Dude, just get, uh. Yeah, get one'a those guys in a suit? Yeah, man. They take care'a everything. Everything."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Hufflepuff? What the fuck kind of a crappy name for a house is that? Dildos," Pickles automatically comments with a wrinkled nose. "No, seriously. Hufflepuff. The hell, dude. Sounds like, uh. Sounds like some kind'a kids thing. Friggin' crap, man."

That might not have been very nice. ...Maybe he just doesn't like being accused of being useless. "Cuz, hey, man, I'm a kick-ass drummer, man. And, uh. You can't have a band without a drummer. Sounds like crap."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.

...Hah?! He's in his underwear! The hell is he supposed to give?

"Uh. I got money. Totally. And." He looks down at himself, at the orange dreadlocks tumbling over bare shoulders and... nothing else but tighty whities. "Yeah, that's about it, man." Because no way is he relinquishing his vodka.



"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Pickles.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Rules? What rulPickles.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Man, only chicks wear nic... kn... knickers is a funny word. Pickles.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. That stuff tastes, uh. Kinda tastes like my ass after I've taken a gigantic shit. Not Pickles.

Comments

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

((He has apparently mutated from eating dead rats and blood, because he has fangs and a rat-mohawk :D))

Nathan just rolled his eyes, more than used to random hissyfits. Hey, they were the most popular band where they came from, you had to get used to them. "Just order something from the... tiny chefs around here when you're voted." Except if they were all dead; Dethklok did seem to get a lot of chefs dying around them.

"Diabetes?" Nathan looked rather confused, but then he finally clicked onto what Pickles was saying. "Oh. Hm. I dunno. Doesn't, like... your dick turn green and fall off if you get it?"

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

Pickles couldn't really help himself. ...They were inevitable, really. And, you know, living by yourself with Murderface for long enough has to do something on a guy's sanity, especially one who hasn't ever really been too mentally stable in the first place. "Chefs, eh?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows, scratching at his head with the bottle again. "You mean they ain't dead? Or, yeh know. Hooked up to some kinda. Coma thing?"

Oh, shit. He never really thought of that. "Thought that was all them STD crap things that Skwisgaar's gettin' all the time? From, you know. Bangin' all the ladies. I dunno, man, I just, uh, yeah. I don't think Toki's gotta green dick."

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, they're, like... these tiny dwarf things. And they beat themselves up." Which was, Nathan thought, one of the most metal things about this place - getting beaten just meant you were a pussy, beating yourself up, on the other hand, was pretty fucking brutal. "I don't... think they're dead. Or I dunno. I mean, they might be." Who knew. They looked weird enough.

Nathan had certainly heard enough about Skwisgaar's various STDs (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1150477.html?thread=58235917#t58235917) in the last week or so, and he was now haunted with an eternal fear of lobsters. "Toki had better not have diabetes. If he does, it'd better not screw up our music."

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

"Oh, right, yeah, yeah," Pickles mumbled, nodding and idly swirling around the vodka in the bottle. "Yeh, Toki was all talkin' about them and some crap. They sound pretty, uh, pretty metal. Pretty awesome." He kept looking around the room, too, like he was expecting one to come bounding in or something. Dammit, he wanted to see the crazy dwarf things beat the crap out of themselves.

Being haunted by lobsters was pretty brutal too. All those pinchers. Llegh. "I, uh. I'm pretty, uh. Yeah, pretty sure he does, man. But, uh." He frowned, squinting an eye in thought. "Can we mix out second guitar, man? I dunno, that, uh. Not as easy to do as bass."

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

"Not as metal as a zombie chef, but yeah... pretty fucking metal," Nathan agreed. He'd been told he shouldn't encourage them to beat themselves up, apparently it wasn't nice, but he was totally going to do it anyway.

Mixing out second guitar did sound pretty hard, as much as a perfectionist as Nathan was. "Hm. I guess. Maybe he can just play in post-production, when he's... like, cured, or something." Was there a cure for having your dick turn green and fall off? Nathan had no idea. "Anyway, which House do you want?" Hopefully Pickles picked a pack of pickled peppers Hufflepuff, because then all four of them could be there and create havoc.

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah, a'course, man, but, I mean, uh. Zombies are pretty fuckin' metal, dude, that's kinda hard to beat, it... it really is." Oh, Pickles fully intended to take full advantage of this beating thing. That sounded pretty damn cool. So screw you, Bones! XD

Yeah, he was pretty positive that deleting out Toki would... sound like crap. So. "Yeah, man, but, I mean, maybe he'll just use that, uh. That dildo he bought way back when. Which is, yeh know, green, so maybe not." It might remind him of his dick, after all. "Everyone's sayin' that, uh. Puffy house thing. You in it too? Cuz. Toki said yeh were, but." He trailed off, vaguely, choosing to take another large swig of vodka instead.

Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

Zombies were pretty damn metal. Nathan would have mentioned the cool zombie death-metal-voice chick, but if Pickles had already talked to Toki, then no doubt he'd mentioned it.

Ah, but there was a thought - Toki could just use a dildo as a replacement! It wouldn't be nearly as gratifying, but... eh, that wasn't Nathan's problem. It was Toki's fault if he caught diabetes. "Or he could just use a cucumber. Or... never have sex." But that was a fucking scary thought. "Oh, yeah... Hufflepuff. Pretty un-metal name, but yeah, I'm there too. We're gonna get a food store there, I think."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

Toki had mentioned zombies, but not Catelyn in specific, not really. The zombie mentioned in passing was just kind of cool enough as is.

"Ah, man, that's just..." Pickles shook his head, ruefully, as if he were disappointed in Nathan. "That's just plain-out mean, dude, I mean, wishin' no sex on a guy, it's... Yer kinda cruel, you know." A scary thought, that was. ...Hell, even having to use a cucumber was a scary thought. Diabetes was a freaky thing - Pickles was going to have to make sure he didn't catch it! "Ooh, yeah. Toki said, uh. Said somethin' about that. Food libraries, man."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

Yeah, wishing no sex on a guy was pretty damn cruel. Nathan looked ashamed of himself. "I didn't mean it like that, uh... okay I did. I think. But... I didn't." Now he was just talking himself in circles, and it was getting more than a little confusing. "Yeah, food libraries," he confirmed, "And... I dunno where he'll get all the food, but... at least we don't have to try make our own."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

"Hey, man, uh, I mean, it's cool," Pickles replied with a shrug, glancing around briefly. "Just, eh. Yeah, don't, uh. Don't tell Toki you said that, dude. He'll, uh. He'll get all mad." He took another swallow of vodka and--d'...aww. It was all gone. A poutyPISSED OFF FACE OF DOOOOMMMM took over Pickles features for a moment. "Yehs, uh. I think that food library's, uh. Yeah, it's a pretty brutal plan."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

Oh god, Pickles had that look on his face - the 'I'm Out of Alcohol' look. Nathan edged away slightly, just in case Pickles decided to become violent in his lack of Vodka. "It totally is. And... we'll have to tell everybody what it is. 'Cause... I dunno if they know how to use one."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

He probably wouldn't get violent. Yet. It had only been... approximately 18.463 seconds since his last drink. ...He could make it. For a little while. Only Nathan talked... really slowly, and Pickles only seemed to notice when he had lack of alcohol. And by the time he was done speaking, it had been 29.752 seconds since his last drink. Er. "Hey, uh. You think that, uh, food library's gonna have booze, man, cuz, I mean, dude, I need." His sentence stopped, eye twitching slightly in the wake of his lack of booze.

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

"Uh, I dunno. I guess it will. I mean, they sell booze, don't they?" Nathan shrugged, wondering if he had any alcohol on him. Wait, he... no. No, he didn't. Damn, going without alcohol was so un-metal. "But there's, uh, plenty of booze... around."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

"Hey, man, I mean, they had it last time we was there." And Pickles would know, having filled a whole cart with liquor. "Unless they changed and... Motherdouchebags! I bet they did. Those fuckers!" And automatically calmed down, shrugging again. "Yeh, uh. Toki was talkin' about, uh. Some Firewhisky crap. Sounds pretty metal."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[brutal-metal.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear god, what if they had changed? Nathan didn't even want to think about it, the idea was just too horrible. "That'd be... totally un-metal if they did. And Firewhisky is okay, I mean, for a booze that isn't Vodka. And it's, like... really easy to get around here, so that makes it better."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[doodily-doo.livejournal.com]

"Stupid... fuckin'... not-metal grocery store," Pickles muttered in a cursing voice under his breath. He looked slightly disappointed at the Firewhisky bit, though. Toki had said it was amazingtotally brutal. ...But Toki was a friggin' lightweight. ...Shit, he was gonna have to try this stuff to figure it out now. Mostly more because... It was something he HADN'T tried, which was really an insult to Pickles' nature. "Yeah, I'll, uh. I'll hafta find it, yeh know?'