Semi-Open RP: House Returns From His 'Vacation'

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

((OOC: Back from my holiday! Open for anybody in the Slytherin dorms, or anybody who wants to slip in, really.))



The last month had been both incredibly trying, and incredibly entertaining. Having never actually resigned from his job at Princeton-Plainsboro after he came to Hogwarts, House was still sent referrals and letters from people that wanted him to diagnose their mysterious disease. Taking a certain satisfaction in coming up with answers other doctors wouldn't have (and because he'd go insane without puzzles), he still took cases. Unfortunately, the latest one had required his actual physical presence, so House had taken off to Cairo for a month without telling a single soul.

In terms of complexity, the case had been fairly boring. Being able to pierce the language barrier with his workable knowledge of Arabic, House had nevertheless been stumped by the other doctors refusal to treat without proof, so everything had taken at least six times longer. Still, it had given him time to annoy the locals, so in House's mind, it wasn't a total loss.

Not one for loud entrances, House returned just as quietly as he left. Wandering through the hallways towards his room in the Slytherin dorms, he was tired, pale, wearing a purple bruise on his cheekbone and a black eye - but actually looked fairly pleased with himself. There was, of all things, an acoustic guitar slung across his back.

Not bothering to fully close the door behind him, the first thing House did was greet the two action figures on his desk - G.I. Joe and a Storm Trooper, melted together from nose to chin, now charmed to be animated and currently struggling in a futile manner to get away from each other - and sat down with his guitar, picking out Cream's Strange Brew. He didn't bother to notify anybody of his return, either; he figured whoever cared to know would see him eventually.

Comments

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

...He didn't like that smirk. That smirk meant... Well, the last time Wilson had been on the receiving end of that smirk, the end result had been that horrid, yet amusing, painting leaning up against House's wall at the moment.

"Technically," Wilson replied slowly, squinting an eye at House as though he had to think deeply about this. "I didn't mean for you to get the migraine in the first place, but, you know, nitroglycerin tends to have that effect." He shook his head. "Of course, I also seem to recall my slamming of a few things once you'd made the point that you just couldn't -LIVE- without proving."

...He wasn't even going to go into how horrible that statement was. Mostly because House would be bored, yawn, and ignore him. ...Partially because Wilson would get bored, yawn, and ignore himself. "More important things," he repeated. "Like... taking mystery drugs in Egypt and getting black eyes as some kind of result?"

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"You were a cruel bastard, if I remember correctly," House snarked. "Denying me my coffee and making loud noises." And pestering him about what drugs House had taken. Honestly. Couldn't he just be left alone to take drugs in peace? He knew if he verbally denied not being able to live unless proving his point, he knew he'd just wind up sounding like a sulky child.

"Of course," he replied, as if it were perfectly obvious, "What else is there to do when you're bored?" It was a logical enough answer, if one didn't count all the things that normal, non-unhinged people found to do in times of boredom.

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

And if Wilson remembered correctly, it was too little too late for a long time coming. "The coffee would have made your migraine worse," he replied shortly and simply, shrugging. Even if it was only that little bit of revenge, getting back at House every once in a while was... well, really, really nice. Very exulting, really.

"Well, there IS always, oh, I don't know," he added slowly, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes again as if he had to think things over. "Perhaps... taking care of the... patient?" Mock gasp. "Oh, you don't say. Doctors do take care of them time to time? Oh, go on."

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"No, you were just going into overexcited Jewish mother mode." Because House got entirely too much entertainment from watching Wilson put his hands on his hips and tell House what was best for him. Honestly. Any day he almost expected Wilson to start telling him he was too thin and needed a good feeding. Bloody Jewish mothers.

At the suggestion that taking care of patients would stave off boredom, House stared at him, aghast. "Now you're just being crazy. That's... Cameron's job. And yours. It's just too much to expect me to do it. Stop suggesting the impossible, Jimmy."

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

"It was not Jewish mother mode," he scoffed back. Frankly, such a thought scared the living crap out of Wilson. He'd caught himself just before turning into full-on Jewish nana mode. Staying, of course, directly off-topic of House's eating habits and... his aptitude to commonly mix alcohol with his Vicodin. Which, you know. Severely bad idea.

"Of course I'm not expecting you to. That level of naivete would be horrid -- I think I would have to put myself out of my misery." He shook his head. "No, I'm just... amusing myself anymore, at this point."

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"It was too," House replied stubbornly. "You can't help yourself with that either." Though if Wilson ever did go into full on nana-mode, House wouldn't listen because he'd be laughing too much.

"You're amusing me too, with far-fetched fictional ideas of me actually turning into Cameron and caring for patients. Keep going, I haven't been this entertained in a while," House sat back in his chair and adopted an expectant expression.

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

"It was more of the... irritated, spiteful, frat brother mode, really. Mostly with the slamming things. And the coffee deprivation." Which had been fun. ...Once he'd gotten past the worried nana bit.

"Please," he added in a scoff, rolling his eyes. "The day you start actually caring about patients as patients, rather than puzzles, is the day..." Oh, he didn't even know. "Is the day... I stop wearing ties to work." There. Something fairly... impossible.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

"Oh, irritated and spiteful, now?" House widened his eyes, feigning hurt. "That just hurts, Jimmy. Really. You just enjoyed prolonging my agony." Because really, House would probably do the same thing to Wilson - not that Wilson would ever be crazy enough to inject himself with nitroglycerin, but the principal was there.

"Hah! Oh, see, that's funny, because that's something you'd never do, and you're comparing it to the chance of my caring about patients!" House switched from fake hurt to over-exaggerated hilarity, though there was some genuine amusement lurking in there somewhere.

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

Wilson automatically rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to grin somewhere in there. "Oh, yes, God forgive me," he remarked with a shake of his head. "Not only for wreaking such... such misery onto Gregory House's life, but also for... my Jewish, murder-of-baby-Jesus ways. As he has so kindly pointed out to me on many an occasion."

And he couldn't help it -- he DID grin at that, hands shoving back into the pockets of his slacks. "Yes, hilarity ensues, I'm sure, and both are... each as unlikely as the next." Unless, of course, Wilson managed to get another divorce and... simply lost it, as House... skulked the patients' rooms on acid, hugging them and telling them they were fuzzy or something. Both of which could, actually, viably happen.

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

Despite himself, House snorted, incredibly amused by Wilson's comment on murdering baby of Jesus. "The readiness of your admittance disturbs me; it's not only the Jews that killed baby Jesus, but chronic masturbation. Or is that kittens that it kills? I can never remember."

The day that House wandered about on acid, telling patients he loved them, well... the acid part was at least likely to come possible, but it was still highly unlikely that it would ever mellow House out enough to actually feel affection for the people he considered to thwart his life. "Though you've stopped wearing ties now," House pointed out, even though here had nothing to do with work, "And that's fairly amusing enough. It's just like the picture predicts!" He pointed towards Rose's painting with a grin. "Look, you're not wearing a tie, therefore you're going to end up with no eyebrows and a burning teddy bear."

[jewboy-wonder.livejournal.com]

"I'm pretty sure it's masturbation that killed the cat, but, you know, it's hard to tell. Because kittens and Christ are so hard to distinguish between," Wilson replied with a slight laugh, shaking his head, sadly. "You're a worse Christian than I am." ...And he was Jewish!

He glanced down to his shirt, almost like he hadn't believe House and... hey, lo and behold, Day Number Whatsit -- he'd lost track -- where he hadn't worn a tie...! He hadn't really since he'd gotten here. Damn death machines. He just got so damned used to them at the hospital. "Yes, well, I'm not exactly working now, either," he commented. "And I'm only going to end up with no eyebrows if you get horrendously bored and decide to shave them off. Maybe you can burn the teddy bear while you're at it. Make your day complete."