Michael Kelso - That 70's show

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

Life is a funny thing. One minute, you're loading a bunch of your friends star wars toys into a crate, to ring them out to your car, to bring them to some kid who said he'd give you a 20 for them.Next thing you know you're...Not.

For most people this might have been disturbing, being hurdled through space and time. but for Michael Kelso it was "sweet". He was used to being confused, after all.

Kelso set down the crate of toys, and found his way over to the application. Luckily, he was without a pen, and chose to answer out loud, speaking directly to the paper. I say luckily because Kelso's skills in penmanship and spelling were...well. Lets just say 'questionable at best'.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

"Is this about Todd? Because I totally could have kicked his ass if I hadn't had a tonsil..ectim...itri...osis earlier that day."

"Oh, and if this isn't about Todd, Gouda. Hehehe. cause its so goud...a. GET IT? GET IT?"

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

"Woah, woah, woah. First of all, I don't know who either of these guys are, and second of all, which one of them is going to give me a ride to the mall later, because not that one."

3. What time is it where you are?

"May. Wait, Time? Yeah, May."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

"I would never sexually harass anyone but my own beautiful girlfriend Jackie Burkhart who is the only girl for me, because that would be cheating and I know now that cheating is wrong. Unless she isn't here, in which case, Farrah Fawcett."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Okay. Okay. I've got one. Kelso's."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

"Whichever one is a girl. Unless its George Lucas. In which case him cause he is SO RICH."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

"I have the same problem. No matter how many times I tell my teachers I don't need homework, cause I'm gonna get by on my looks, they keep giving it to me anyway.Its like they're jealous of my boyish charm and stunningly well defined abs. I tell you sometimes this body is a curse."
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

"Uh....Well I make people smarter. People are always telling me that. They say just standin around having a conversation with me makes them realize how smart they really are. I think It might be some kind of psychic ability on my part. Its like I just smarterize them."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

"Well I've got this box full of Eric's toys. I mean...They're not Eri..Yeah, no, they're Eric's."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____MK_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____MK_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______MK_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______MK_______"

Comments

[nopower-overme.livejournal.com]

(( *is a puddle of squee* ))

Sarah approaches Kelso, a smile twitching the corner of her mouth. "What kind of toys are these ones that belong to 'Eric'?" She says it as though she might possibly think they don't belong to an Eric at all.

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"They used to belong to Eric. Finders keepers"

And Kelso definitely found them. In Eric's closet. Minor detail.

"And they're only models from the best movie ever."

[kawaii-on-ice.livejournal.com]

Azusa waved at the box. Not at the toys inside--she couldn't care less about those--just at the box.

"Hello Pierre!" she crooned in a baby voice, "Oh-ho, you're so cuuuuute! Pierre, Pierre!"

Azusa turned to the young man beside it, pouting. "How is Azusa supposed to take Pierre back to Ravenclaw Tower with her when you're keeping all that junk inside of him?"

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Okay, This isn't a Pierre. Its a Milk Crate. And its made in the U S of A, so if it's got a name its probably Joe. Or Kelso."

[redballerina.livejournal.com]

((OMG. O. M. G. Yes. I love you.))

So, to sum up: Cute, but dumb. On the other hand, he was apparently taken, and Bombalurina always felt that was an extra thrill. She smiled, approaching Kelso in her slow, seductive saunter.

"Now that body doesn't seem like a curse to me, darling," she purred, looking him up and down.

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Right? but it is. It's like, okay, There's Good looking people, like me, and you, and Daisy Duke, and then theres math teachers, and assistant managers at fatso burger who want to keep the good looking people down, because they can't keep up."

he ran a hand through his hair there, for emphasis

"Which is really unfair because I never asked to be this good looking. It just sort of comes to me."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Um. Hi. *waves* You wouldn't happen to be related to a guy name of Bobby Briggs, would you? Separated at birth? Second cousins once removed? Cosmic twinsies? Anything?

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"No I'm only related to Kelsos."

Kelso shook his head. Blondes.

[fw-darcy.livejournal.com]

*scowls*

Do I understand that the absence of your Miss Burkhart is the only temptation required to induce you to betray her with this Miss Fawcett?

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Well I'd ask Jackie to come too, but every time I bring it up she hits me."

[orientthataway.livejournal.com]

Orient peers into the box and immediately perks up. "Okay, not that I know anything about this, but are those genuine original series first-run toys? From the early 80s?"

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Oh Yeah sure. The eighties. I've got Toys from the future."

[teamseaslug.livejournal.com]

"Can you make me smarter, too?" Osaka knows she's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, and she wants to be smart for at least a little while and impress Ed, Hermione, and Chiyo if she was here. "I'm good at marine biology but not too much else, and I think I'd like to see what it's like to be smarter in general."

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Okay yeah, But I'm warning you. I don't know how it is my power works. it just... you know works. You just have to stand next to me for a while and see what happens."

[rogue-nebari.livejournal.com]

"Pity about that girlfriend."

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Psh. Yeah I know, right?"

[ugly-imp.livejournal.com]

((So... much... love!))

I can well understand why people say you have these powers already. I already feel much smarter after only having heard this. Now then... Who is this Farrah Fawcett? *Tyrion, after all, knows what's the important issue here.*

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Only the hottest of Charlie's Angels, the hottest women on the planet. Oh except for Kate jackson"

At which point, Kelso experienced a full body shiver. The brainy one. ew

[amazonbard.livejournal.com]

*Gabrielle looks vaguely outraged*

You'd cheat on your girlfriend? I thought this was supposed to be a more advanced time period!

[orientthataway.livejournal.com]

You know how there's always one? Don't judge the time period by a model.

Vote: Gryffindor

[sada-chan.livejournal.com]

*giggling* You are the very model of a hyperactive Gryffindor.

[dresdenfile.livejournal.com]

*grins, as only a skull can* Farrah Fawcett, huh? Damn, she's hot.

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"I KNOW RIGHT?"

[wickednessa.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I'm Nessarose. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Kelso. Who's Eric, and why do you have his toys?

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Eric is my friend, and I've got his toys because he sucks at hiding things"

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

((Oh good god, that just made me laugh way too much XD))

Hearing Kelso speak aloud his interview questions had given House entirely too much amusement. "Farrah Fawcett, nice. What's your position on Carmen Electra? And I know I just said 'position on' about a hot chick," House rolled his eyes, "just answer the question."

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"......Carmen Electra?"

Woah. Woah. Kelso looks terrified, now. Clearly they were talking about hot chicks. but Kelso had no idea who this 'Carmen Electra' was. He started fidgeting around in his vest pockets like soething in there might help him. but no. How could there be a hot chick Kelso didn't know about? He was Point Place's authority on babes!

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

(http://photobucket.com/)

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

Kelso looked a little hurt, for a second, but then pointed at Johnny, and then back at himself, and then at Johnny, and then back at himself, and proclaimed loudly

"OH BURN"

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily didn't make it halfway through the application before she burst out into giggles. Still laughing, she held out her hand to Kelso. "I'm Lily. What sort of toys do you have?"

((He. Is. Perfect. *fangirls*))

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

Kelso shook her hand with that patented Kelso idiot grin on his face.

"Kelso. And um, awesome ones"

He eagerly thrust a model of a ship in her direction. He was only too happy to give it to her. She seemed like one of the nicer people so far. But its like he was saying, thats cause hot people get along with other hot people.

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

Have you ever considered running for president?

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Well...Yeah."

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

For some reason, Franky felt that this man/boy might somehow be a kindred spirit. Only one way to find out...

"So, kid. You ever fight a pirate?"

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"....Fez dressed up as a pirate once. and then he ate a lot of candy. So I hit him in the stomach with a basketball to see if it'd make him throw up."

Kelso scratched his head for a second.

"So I guess the answer is yeah. To my question and yours."

[artsy-jilly.livejournal.com]

Don't they have public transportation where you are? Because you should totally consider riding the bus to the mall instead of bumming rides off people.

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Uh..I don't know if you're aware of this, but the bus smells like old people and feet."

what was she, crazy?

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

First of all, toys? Second of all- gouda one?

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Uh. No, the gouda thing came first."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Gouda! Oh my, what a sharp wit you have! I'm sure you must put all of your friends to shame.

[apolloluvrocket.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah. But theres no hard feelings, you know? They understand I can't just turn it on or off. You know, its like my charm, or my really impressive head of hair. My wits are here to stay."

Sparklypoo!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome ... to Sparklypoo!