Application for Borat Sagdiyev, Da Ali G Show

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like the cheese of camels. IS NICE!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I am not aware of what this Barney or Carrottop are, but if they are fancy British Gentlemen that want communists, I kill both!

3. What time is it where you are?
In Kazakhstan, we live independant of the "time zones" of the west. Now it is time when the oldest man in Kazakhstan (42) make an afternoon dirt.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I was, how you say... kicked from U S and Aye for "sexual harrassment" misunderstands. In my country, you see, it is a sign of respects when to touch my sexy areas.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. Grip and Pull

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
In Kazakhstan, this man who do with another man is very big problem... is not like Gypsy, though.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You are in the magics!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I have many job in Kazakhstan. I catch and beat Gypsies, I make cages for the women, and I give the animals sexytime explosions. I also internation journalist for Khazakstan~(tilde)

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
In Kazakhstan, we have the finest human Pubis in all of Central Asia. Is used for clean pots and pans. I remember to carry three bags of it with me at all times. You can have these fine products, worth at least 23, if you make me not the squib!


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Borat Sagdiyev
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Borat Sagdiyev .
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Borat Sagdiyev .
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Borat Sagdiyev "

Comments

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

"Where exactly is Khazakstan? Is it on Earth, or somewhere else?"

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Kazakhstan is locate between China, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan and... urg... Uzbekistan.. Is Earth.

[shark-swordsman.livejournal.com]

Sexytime explosions...do I want to know?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Sexytime explosion to make more animal. Is very important job in Kazakhstan.

[greasysweet1.livejournal.com]

What exactly are you offering, bro? That doesn't sound too pleasant to Dimitri, dig?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

We have de finest human pubis in all of Central Asia. It is very useful for clean pots and pans, and is very nice!

[hail-tothe-ash.livejournal.com]

Well, listen up, you jumped up monkey-spew. You're sounding like a deadite to me, so unless you can convince me otherwise, you're gonna meet my boomstick.

Capice?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

You can come visit Kazakhstan. I will let you use my house, sleep in my bed and use my sister. She is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan! Very nice! I tell you a story: One time my sister take off her clothes and waved her virgin at my retard brother, and said "You never get this!" He grab his cage, and we all laugh. One day he broke out of his cage and did get this! We all laugh again.

[wickednessa.livejournal.com]

((YAY YAY I need to see Borat. Is nice! I like!))

*so many people lately who don't speak proper...English, was it?* Hello, Mr. Sagdiyev, I'm Nessarose! It's a pleasure to meet you.

So, are Kazakhstan and the US and A places here? I'm not from this place, and I'm not exactly familiar with the geography.

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Kazakhstan and the U S and Aye are the greatest countries in the world! We have the best potassium and the cleanest prostitutes in all of Central Asia. U S and Aye have women who have ALL their fingers!

[mightymorfin.livejournal.com]

Hi! I'm Morfin! I'm a Hufflepuff!

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

What mean this... Hufflepuff? It not mean Uzbek, does it!?

[mmmax-headroom.livejournal.com]

A skateboard with an ancient wood-paneled TV set attached rolls into the sorting room and up to Borat. Hydraulic arms lift the TV up to his eye level, and the set crackles to life. A Head appears onscreen.

"So , you're a journalist too, huh? Pri-pri-print or broadcast HMMMMM?"

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

I am broadcast journalist for Kazakhstan

[ticklemeskimble.livejournal.com]

...Excuse me?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

What? You need to make a dirt?

[schizowarrior.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, let me see if I've got this right--you clean pots and pans with pubes?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Yes, feel the quality, is nice! (opens a bag with brown curly hair inside)

[thevandortboy.livejournal.com]

*In a tiny, horrified voice* 'Sexytime explosion'...?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Yes, sexytime explosion to make smaller animals.

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

*Through gritted teeth* Tell me more about this Kazakhstan. I am very interested and friendly.

*He thrust a chocolate-chip treat at Borat* Have a cookie! Now!

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

(eats the cookie) Very nice! What this made froms? We have more potassium than any other country in Central Asia! We have an annual "Running of the Jew," where we release a Jew and a woman Jew onto a road. They very scary. I was reporting one time and the woman Jew laid an egg! The childrens run out to beat it apart, so it wouldn't hatch into a baby.

[fine-eyes-lizzy.livejournal.com]

*so horrified she has to laugh*

My... good... sir, you do not honestly cage women in your home country? Very often, women are "caged" by social conventions and a lack of funds. Is that what you mean? *hopes that is what he means, blushes and ignores the 'sexytime explosion' comment*

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

No, we have cages so they do not run away. We also have cages for retards. My brother is a retard. We laugh at him.

[fw-darcy.livejournal.com]

*mutters darkly*

Have you some complaint of the British gentry, sir?

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

I like British Gentlemen. I visit a British Gentlemen club once, and was happy to hear that they would crush any man who do in another man's anus, however, we of Kazakhstan fought long and hard to rid ourselves of communist rule, and the United Kingdom push to be more communist!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Sorting Hat does not scrub pots and pans! *draws itself up proudly*

Hmm ... we do need more journalists, though. You say you're an international journalist? We have a school paper that started a while back and fizzled. If I Sort you into the school, will you devote your talents to the Hogwarts school newspaper?

*looks as expectant as a Hat can*

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

I work with broadcast journalism, but will give my talents to a newspaper.

Ravenclaw!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Ravenclaw!

[canes-can-kill.livejournal.com]

((Hey! I was thinking about taking over the character of Borat, since he's listed as inactive - but obviously I need your permission first :) ))

Yes

[borat0sagdiyev.livejournal.com]

Of course you can take over this character, by all means. Enjoy.