HEAVILY warded owl to Perry Cox, hexed to force unintended readers to wear (British!) leather pants

[toujours-sirius.livejournal.com]

Dear Perry,

No bollocks jokes in this owl. In fact, I'm writing to ask you for a bit of a favour. I was wondering if you'd be willing to be my personal physician (I promise not to come onto you or pop any boners during professional examinations!) and to correspond directly with your mudwrestling partner Professor Stephen Maturin about a potion prescription. I can give you the details of my situation, of course, but I first would require you to promise me that you will keep this matter confidential. It's very personal, and I'm entirely serious (yes, go ahead, make the bad pun) about that.

Thanks in advance,
Fido Paddy Sirius